And here I am again with yet another senseless chapter! ^_^
The last chapter might have seemed a little cliché, but don't you worry! I'm actually going somewhere with this!
Disclaimer: The Bakuretsu/Sorcerer Hunters are not mine.
However, certain elements of this fic are mine.
Pixie Stix Girl is mine.
The plot is mine.
"Albuquerque" is property of Weird Al.
Warnings: Complete senselessness. Some language, some burrito bashing
and also maybe some OOC. Deal with it.
______________________
Chapter One
********
"Oh, pretty girl! Won't you tickle my pickle?"
"...Der? SPLORGE!!"
Carrot found himself faceplanted on the ground after being walloped by...
A giant bean burrito.
"What the hell?!" Carrot sat up, wiping bean paste off from his face.
"Taaaaaaasty..." a young man could be found licking a tree. While standing on his head.
With a fish tied to either of his feet.
"...Uh...yeah," Carrot approached the guy, still wiping the bean paste from his eye,
"What's up with you, dude?"
"NO!! MY TREE!!"
"...Forget I asked," Carrot scratched his head and gave the guy a funny look.
It was then that Carrot actually turned off his girl radar long enough to notice that something
very strange was going on...
"Hey! A bakery! Wonder if they have any doughnuts?"
...Okay, maybe that was too much to hope for.
So instead, Carrot meandered into the bakery, oblivious to anything being awry.
A smiling clerk greeted him at the bakery counter, and to Carrot's dismay, the clerk was of
the male variety. Grinning to himself anyway, Carrot walked up to the counter and looked
around.
"Got any glazed doughnuts?"
"Naw, we're out of glazed doughnuts."
"You got any jelly doughnuts...?"
"Naw, we're out of jelly doughnuts!"
"Well, you got any cinnamon rolls?"
"Naw, we're out of cinnamon rolls!!"
Carrot arched an eyebrow at the clerk's gradual increase in volume as he spoke.
Shrugging, he came to the conclusion that the clerk was hard of hearing.
"You got any bavarian cream filled doughnuts?!"
"Naw, we're out of bavarian cream filled doughnuts!!!"
"You got any apple fritters?!!"
"Naw, we're out of apple fritters!!!"
"You got any bear claws?!!"
There was a pause as the clerk sedately responded, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."
With a full 90 degree turn, the clerk turned to walk to the back in the very same way one
might see a penguin walk towards a can of fresh sardines.
Under his breath Carrot mumbled, "Weirdo."
There was a pause of silence, soon to be broken.
"NAW, WE'RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!!"
The clerk leapt up on the counter and swiped at Carrot with an oversized rolling pin, a
maniacal gleam in his glazed over eyes.
"HEY!!" Carrot ducked out of the way just in time, causing the clerk to lose his balance
and topple into a large rack of freshly baked bread. The clerk became buried beneath the loaves.
"Someone forgot his medication this morning." Carrot leaned over the pile of bread, then started
to walk away, whistling innocently...
"TIC TAC TOE!! THREE IN A ROW!!" boomed a hysterical male voice with a horrible Italian
accent.
"...What the hell?" Carrot stopped in mid-step and peered over his shoulder.
"I WIN!!"
Out of nowhere came a large man in a paper baker's hat and a white apron. He smiled at Carrot
right before leaping over the counter and slamming a cherry pie right into Carrot's face.
Red berries and crust splattered everywhere, but mostly got on Carrot's face.
"I WIN!!"
Pulling the pie tin off from his face, Carrot wiped part of the pastry out of his eyes and
smacked his lips.
"Needs more sugar."
"NOOOO!! I WIN!!"
"Er...hey now! Put that down!"
********
As the two sisters stepped into town, Tira and Chocolate were greeted by a strange sight. A young woman was in the cobblestone street, dancing with an overly large burrito. A young man was standing on his head against a tree with fish tied to his feet. Both girls assessed the current situation with a grain of salt considering it seemed as though the forbidden magic had already been used.
"Looks like we're a little late," said the red-head.
"Unless this is some kind of strange ritual," the fuschia haired sister offered.
Chocolate looked about the town similarly to the way a cat would watch for it's prey. Those sharp blue eyes watched for any sudden movement as her equally trained ears listened for any Carrot-sized pick up lines.
"...Hmm, where's Darling?"
Tira took it upon herself to walk over to the nearest citizen, which happened to be the girl dancing with the burrito, and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, Miss..."
"Oh, don't you know cutting in is rude?" the girl hugged the burrito and glared at Tira.
"Uh...right. I was just wondering if you'd seen a guy with wild spiky hair wearing a tank top around here."
Smiling vacantly, the girl nodded.
"Where is he?" Chocolate intruded.
There was a short pause as the girl looked somewhat panicked and hugged the burrito close to her chest, protectively, even.
"NO!! HE'S MINE!!"
Assuming the classic Jerry Springer jealous girlfriend pose, Chocolate sputtered, "What?!"
Tira merely blinked behind her giant pink spectacles.
"My Darling is mine and mine alone!!"
"NO!! MINE!!" The girl defended.
"Now listen you little tramp!"
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!"
Chocolate would soon find herself on the ground after being walloped by the giant burrito.
...Or not. The girl was now on the ground with a throbbing bitchslap mark on her cheek, clutching her burrito protectively as though it were a small child.
"DARLING IS MINE!!" Smoke might have been visible as it fizzled from Chocolate's ears, her face teeming bright red from rage. The girl was whining on the ground like a two year old lost in a graveyard full of zombies.
It was then that Carrot presented himself in all his manly glory...
...Or maybe he ran screaming and flailing like a chicken on drugs from the bakery, his entire body laden with pie crust and assorted fruit filling. Airborne pies chased him from the establishment, accompanied by the loud voice of an Italian tic tac toe junkie.
The Misu sisters watched and the Italian baker chased Carrot, pausing only to lift his paper baker's hat to them in a gesture of respect. Then, with pies in hand, the large Italian baker resumed his pursuit of the pastry blasphemer.
The was a long pause filled only by Carrot's now distant wails of dismay.
"What...was that?" the red-head blinked.
"Uhm...some girl's angry father?"
The last chapter might have seemed a little cliché, but don't you worry! I'm actually going somewhere with this!
Disclaimer: The Bakuretsu/Sorcerer Hunters are not mine.
However, certain elements of this fic are mine.
Pixie Stix Girl is mine.
The plot is mine.
"Albuquerque" is property of Weird Al.
Warnings: Complete senselessness. Some language, some burrito bashing
and also maybe some OOC. Deal with it.
______________________
Chapter One
********
"Oh, pretty girl! Won't you tickle my pickle?"
"...Der? SPLORGE!!"
Carrot found himself faceplanted on the ground after being walloped by...
A giant bean burrito.
"What the hell?!" Carrot sat up, wiping bean paste off from his face.
"Taaaaaaasty..." a young man could be found licking a tree. While standing on his head.
With a fish tied to either of his feet.
"...Uh...yeah," Carrot approached the guy, still wiping the bean paste from his eye,
"What's up with you, dude?"
"NO!! MY TREE!!"
"...Forget I asked," Carrot scratched his head and gave the guy a funny look.
It was then that Carrot actually turned off his girl radar long enough to notice that something
very strange was going on...
"Hey! A bakery! Wonder if they have any doughnuts?"
...Okay, maybe that was too much to hope for.
So instead, Carrot meandered into the bakery, oblivious to anything being awry.
A smiling clerk greeted him at the bakery counter, and to Carrot's dismay, the clerk was of
the male variety. Grinning to himself anyway, Carrot walked up to the counter and looked
around.
"Got any glazed doughnuts?"
"Naw, we're out of glazed doughnuts."
"You got any jelly doughnuts...?"
"Naw, we're out of jelly doughnuts!"
"Well, you got any cinnamon rolls?"
"Naw, we're out of cinnamon rolls!!"
Carrot arched an eyebrow at the clerk's gradual increase in volume as he spoke.
Shrugging, he came to the conclusion that the clerk was hard of hearing.
"You got any bavarian cream filled doughnuts?!"
"Naw, we're out of bavarian cream filled doughnuts!!!"
"You got any apple fritters?!!"
"Naw, we're out of apple fritters!!!"
"You got any bear claws?!!"
There was a pause as the clerk sedately responded, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."
With a full 90 degree turn, the clerk turned to walk to the back in the very same way one
might see a penguin walk towards a can of fresh sardines.
Under his breath Carrot mumbled, "Weirdo."
There was a pause of silence, soon to be broken.
"NAW, WE'RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!!"
The clerk leapt up on the counter and swiped at Carrot with an oversized rolling pin, a
maniacal gleam in his glazed over eyes.
"HEY!!" Carrot ducked out of the way just in time, causing the clerk to lose his balance
and topple into a large rack of freshly baked bread. The clerk became buried beneath the loaves.
"Someone forgot his medication this morning." Carrot leaned over the pile of bread, then started
to walk away, whistling innocently...
"TIC TAC TOE!! THREE IN A ROW!!" boomed a hysterical male voice with a horrible Italian
accent.
"...What the hell?" Carrot stopped in mid-step and peered over his shoulder.
"I WIN!!"
Out of nowhere came a large man in a paper baker's hat and a white apron. He smiled at Carrot
right before leaping over the counter and slamming a cherry pie right into Carrot's face.
Red berries and crust splattered everywhere, but mostly got on Carrot's face.
"I WIN!!"
Pulling the pie tin off from his face, Carrot wiped part of the pastry out of his eyes and
smacked his lips.
"Needs more sugar."
"NOOOO!! I WIN!!"
"Er...hey now! Put that down!"
********
As the two sisters stepped into town, Tira and Chocolate were greeted by a strange sight. A young woman was in the cobblestone street, dancing with an overly large burrito. A young man was standing on his head against a tree with fish tied to his feet. Both girls assessed the current situation with a grain of salt considering it seemed as though the forbidden magic had already been used.
"Looks like we're a little late," said the red-head.
"Unless this is some kind of strange ritual," the fuschia haired sister offered.
Chocolate looked about the town similarly to the way a cat would watch for it's prey. Those sharp blue eyes watched for any sudden movement as her equally trained ears listened for any Carrot-sized pick up lines.
"...Hmm, where's Darling?"
Tira took it upon herself to walk over to the nearest citizen, which happened to be the girl dancing with the burrito, and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, Miss..."
"Oh, don't you know cutting in is rude?" the girl hugged the burrito and glared at Tira.
"Uh...right. I was just wondering if you'd seen a guy with wild spiky hair wearing a tank top around here."
Smiling vacantly, the girl nodded.
"Where is he?" Chocolate intruded.
There was a short pause as the girl looked somewhat panicked and hugged the burrito close to her chest, protectively, even.
"NO!! HE'S MINE!!"
Assuming the classic Jerry Springer jealous girlfriend pose, Chocolate sputtered, "What?!"
Tira merely blinked behind her giant pink spectacles.
"My Darling is mine and mine alone!!"
"NO!! MINE!!" The girl defended.
"Now listen you little tramp!"
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!"
Chocolate would soon find herself on the ground after being walloped by the giant burrito.
...Or not. The girl was now on the ground with a throbbing bitchslap mark on her cheek, clutching her burrito protectively as though it were a small child.
"DARLING IS MINE!!" Smoke might have been visible as it fizzled from Chocolate's ears, her face teeming bright red from rage. The girl was whining on the ground like a two year old lost in a graveyard full of zombies.
It was then that Carrot presented himself in all his manly glory...
...Or maybe he ran screaming and flailing like a chicken on drugs from the bakery, his entire body laden with pie crust and assorted fruit filling. Airborne pies chased him from the establishment, accompanied by the loud voice of an Italian tic tac toe junkie.
The Misu sisters watched and the Italian baker chased Carrot, pausing only to lift his paper baker's hat to them in a gesture of respect. Then, with pies in hand, the large Italian baker resumed his pursuit of the pastry blasphemer.
The was a long pause filled only by Carrot's now distant wails of dismay.
"What...was that?" the red-head blinked.
"Uhm...some girl's angry father?"