It's Picture Day In Tortall *Chapter Three*
~*~
Disclaimer: I'm dead. I can't disclaim. Hahaha! Fooled you!
Voice in background: If you don't disclaim soon you're gonna be!
Disclaimer: *Laughs nervously* Right. The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me. Which should be extremely obvious.
~*~
OK, this is people who I forgot who were in the Alanna books, next time the Daine books and then the Kel books. Like, no way! Enjoy!
~*~
Photographer: I'm scared.
Neal: Don't worry, she normally doesn't do it for long.
Teacher: *Stops cackling* OK, kiddies! *Evil grins*
Alanna: *Runs by stabbing at invisible enemies* REE REE REE!
George: *Whispering* Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Neal: Huh? Why?
George: *Glances around nervously* She's *freaky music plays* PMSing.
*Everyone screams and/or gasps*
Daine: SO AM I! *Cackles insanely and begins whacking at random people with a Encyclopedia Britannica*
Kel: Whoa! Like, small, like, world, like, isn't it? Me, like, too! Totally!
Numair: You aren't yourself Kel.
Wyldon: That's because she's PMSing, kumquat, she just said that.
Numair: I don't understand. Does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does no-
*Raoul walks up casually and knocks Numair unconscious with a Goku action figure*
Maddy: GOKU! It's my hero! *Clubs Raoul with a high-heeled shoe and steals the Goku action figure*
*A bunch of people poke their heads through the door, well actually they open the door first, then they poke their heads through*
Thayet: We're here for pictures!
Teacher: *Freaky tone* Yes, I've been expecting you. *Twilight Zone music plays*
Neal: *Pointing to a girl* I don't know you. You aren't from Tortall!
Girl: Am too! I'm Liney!
Gary: She's kinda odd.
Liney: *Runs around in circles* Am not! *Runs into the wall* Owwies!
Maddy: Hey, that's my thing, foo'! *Whacks Liney with her newly-acquired Goku action figure*
*Liney retaliates by slamming her Vegeta action figure into Maddy's arm*
Cleon: *Standing on the desk* I'm gonna jump! I'm gonna jump!
Kel: No! Cleon! You'll hurt yourself.
Dom: Yeah, you might die, wait...actually, go right ahead, Cleon!
Cleon: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yuki: You haven't jumped yet.
Cleon: Oh yeah. *Leaps off of the desk*
*Cleon lands on the photographer's head*
Photographer: Oof! *Massages his head* Just tell me who's next.
(AN: YEY! My favorite song's on! *Bobs head along with the tune* HOLD ME NOW! I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet-ain't so far down! *Dances around wildly* OK, it's over, back to the story)
Teacher: Coram and Maude are next.
Coram: Why do I 'ave to be 'n a picture with tha' *shudders* worker of *more shuddering* evil.
Maude: I resent being called such an undignified thing as "worker of evil" you could at least call me a witch, as that's what I am!
Coram: Oh, OK, sorry.
Maude: Accepted.
Teacher: Just get on the stool.
*Coram and Maude fight for the stool but in the end Maude wins and Coram has to stand behind her, unfortunately they were both hurt in the battle and Coram has a black eye and Maude has a cut lip*
Coram and Maude: Ow. Pain.
*Photographer takes the picture*
Onua: Big cheese, little cheese, fat but not tall cheese, short but not fat cheese, tall and fa-
Teacher: Gary's next.
Gary: NO! That background's gray! It won't match my beauteous eyes! Never will you get me on that stool! NEVER! *Gary runs out of the door, screaming like a lunatic*
Jon: *Massaging the huge bump on his head* He'll be back. Trust me, he'll be back.
Teacher: If you'll go get him.
Jon: Sure. *Looks at George and Raoul* You guys want to come with?
Raoul: Sure.
George: Oh, fun. *Cackles*
*Jon, Raoul and George walk out side and loud screams and scuffles can be heard through the door*
Liney: Violence is not the answer!
Maddy: What?! We're having a test! George Washington! 78! The Mississippi river!
Liam: What's all that?
Maddy: How should I know?
Liam: I don't know.
*Jon, Raoul and George come back in dragging Gary who is bound and gagged, they prop him up on the stool*
Photographer: Say cheese.
Gary: Mrfff roof mroow froo! (He actually said "Go to hell, all of you!" but who could tell?)
*Photographer takes the picture and Jon unties Gary, who runs of sobbing*
Cleon: I don't have to put up with this! I'm hungry! I'm going to the cafeteria! *He tries to open the door but it doesn't work*
Maddy: Cleon, hun, let me try. *Walks up to the door and stands a few feet in front of it* OPEN SESAME!
*Nothing happens*
Maddy: Well, I've done all I can do.
Roger: You morons were turning it the wrong way! *Snarls* Geniuses.
Maddy: Wow! You really think so! Wow!
Roger: No, moron, I was being sarcastic.
Cleon: *Dejected* Oh.
Numair: *Still unconscious* Uhhh...*A huge flash of light goes off and Numair wakes up*
Liney: Look, everybody, it's people popcorn!
Numair: Where am I?
Teacher: A gods forsaken hellhole.
Numair: Oh, I'm at school still?
Photographer: Who's next?
Teacher: Myles and his wife, Eleni.
*Myles and Eleni walk up*
Eleni: I'm a bird!
Myles: No, you're a human!
Eleni: Well, you're just a big poop head.
Myles: OK.
Photographer: Smile.
Myles and Eleni: OK! *Both smile happily*
Photographer: Thank you for speeding this up by half a second.
Thayet: My beautiful complexion and I are next right?
Alanna: Say that to my face, ugly!
Thayet: Beg pardon, 'Lanna?
Alanna: *Froths*
Teacher: Don't pet the rabid animals. You're next, Thayet.
*Thayet flounces over to the stool*
*Photographer starts drooling*
Jon: Hurry up woman! Stop flouncing! And you *points to the photographer* stop looking at my woman!
Thayet: This "woman" is you're wife!
Jon: Shut up, woman!
Rould: Daddy!
Jon: Shut up, brat!
Thayet: But honny!
Jon: And you!
Thom: Mood swings, major!
Jon: I heard that!
Photographer: *To Thayet* Smile!
Thayet: Is this a good smile? *Huge grin* Or this? *Smaller grin*
Photographer: Whatever! I don't care!
Thayet: But I don't understand! Do you like this one? *Huge smile*
*Photographer takes the picture*
Thayet: *Starts to cry* I wasn't ready. *Her eyes fill with tears*
Teacher: Too bad. Go away.
*Thayet runs off*
Teacher: Last is Thom.
Thom: What? I'm not gay!
Teacher: *Gasp* Did I say you were?
Thom: No thanks, I already ate.
Teacher: Are you OK?
Numair: Oh, he's fine, he just got in a little spell accident at the University. He'll be fine in a few days.
Thom: Oh yes, I do love fish.
Photographer: Smile!
Thom: Wow, I'm flattered!
Photographer: Say cheese.
Thom: What? Rancid breath! I'm so sorry!
Photographer: Sagua no in espanyol.
Thom: Oh, OK! *Gives a huge smile*
*Photographer looks astonished and takes the photo*
Teacher: COFFEE BREAK!
~*~
Hehe! That was insanely fun to write! I'll update soon! I promise! In the meantime, please review! *Puppy dog eyes* You will, wont you?
Luv,
LadyKnight
~*~
Disclaimer: I'm dead. I can't disclaim. Hahaha! Fooled you!
Voice in background: If you don't disclaim soon you're gonna be!
Disclaimer: *Laughs nervously* Right. The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me. Which should be extremely obvious.
~*~
OK, this is people who I forgot who were in the Alanna books, next time the Daine books and then the Kel books. Like, no way! Enjoy!
~*~
Photographer: I'm scared.
Neal: Don't worry, she normally doesn't do it for long.
Teacher: *Stops cackling* OK, kiddies! *Evil grins*
Alanna: *Runs by stabbing at invisible enemies* REE REE REE!
George: *Whispering* Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Neal: Huh? Why?
George: *Glances around nervously* She's *freaky music plays* PMSing.
*Everyone screams and/or gasps*
Daine: SO AM I! *Cackles insanely and begins whacking at random people with a Encyclopedia Britannica*
Kel: Whoa! Like, small, like, world, like, isn't it? Me, like, too! Totally!
Numair: You aren't yourself Kel.
Wyldon: That's because she's PMSing, kumquat, she just said that.
Numair: I don't understand. Does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does no-
*Raoul walks up casually and knocks Numair unconscious with a Goku action figure*
Maddy: GOKU! It's my hero! *Clubs Raoul with a high-heeled shoe and steals the Goku action figure*
*A bunch of people poke their heads through the door, well actually they open the door first, then they poke their heads through*
Thayet: We're here for pictures!
Teacher: *Freaky tone* Yes, I've been expecting you. *Twilight Zone music plays*
Neal: *Pointing to a girl* I don't know you. You aren't from Tortall!
Girl: Am too! I'm Liney!
Gary: She's kinda odd.
Liney: *Runs around in circles* Am not! *Runs into the wall* Owwies!
Maddy: Hey, that's my thing, foo'! *Whacks Liney with her newly-acquired Goku action figure*
*Liney retaliates by slamming her Vegeta action figure into Maddy's arm*
Cleon: *Standing on the desk* I'm gonna jump! I'm gonna jump!
Kel: No! Cleon! You'll hurt yourself.
Dom: Yeah, you might die, wait...actually, go right ahead, Cleon!
Cleon: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yuki: You haven't jumped yet.
Cleon: Oh yeah. *Leaps off of the desk*
*Cleon lands on the photographer's head*
Photographer: Oof! *Massages his head* Just tell me who's next.
(AN: YEY! My favorite song's on! *Bobs head along with the tune* HOLD ME NOW! I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet-ain't so far down! *Dances around wildly* OK, it's over, back to the story)
Teacher: Coram and Maude are next.
Coram: Why do I 'ave to be 'n a picture with tha' *shudders* worker of *more shuddering* evil.
Maude: I resent being called such an undignified thing as "worker of evil" you could at least call me a witch, as that's what I am!
Coram: Oh, OK, sorry.
Maude: Accepted.
Teacher: Just get on the stool.
*Coram and Maude fight for the stool but in the end Maude wins and Coram has to stand behind her, unfortunately they were both hurt in the battle and Coram has a black eye and Maude has a cut lip*
Coram and Maude: Ow. Pain.
*Photographer takes the picture*
Onua: Big cheese, little cheese, fat but not tall cheese, short but not fat cheese, tall and fa-
Teacher: Gary's next.
Gary: NO! That background's gray! It won't match my beauteous eyes! Never will you get me on that stool! NEVER! *Gary runs out of the door, screaming like a lunatic*
Jon: *Massaging the huge bump on his head* He'll be back. Trust me, he'll be back.
Teacher: If you'll go get him.
Jon: Sure. *Looks at George and Raoul* You guys want to come with?
Raoul: Sure.
George: Oh, fun. *Cackles*
*Jon, Raoul and George walk out side and loud screams and scuffles can be heard through the door*
Liney: Violence is not the answer!
Maddy: What?! We're having a test! George Washington! 78! The Mississippi river!
Liam: What's all that?
Maddy: How should I know?
Liam: I don't know.
*Jon, Raoul and George come back in dragging Gary who is bound and gagged, they prop him up on the stool*
Photographer: Say cheese.
Gary: Mrfff roof mroow froo! (He actually said "Go to hell, all of you!" but who could tell?)
*Photographer takes the picture and Jon unties Gary, who runs of sobbing*
Cleon: I don't have to put up with this! I'm hungry! I'm going to the cafeteria! *He tries to open the door but it doesn't work*
Maddy: Cleon, hun, let me try. *Walks up to the door and stands a few feet in front of it* OPEN SESAME!
*Nothing happens*
Maddy: Well, I've done all I can do.
Roger: You morons were turning it the wrong way! *Snarls* Geniuses.
Maddy: Wow! You really think so! Wow!
Roger: No, moron, I was being sarcastic.
Cleon: *Dejected* Oh.
Numair: *Still unconscious* Uhhh...*A huge flash of light goes off and Numair wakes up*
Liney: Look, everybody, it's people popcorn!
Numair: Where am I?
Teacher: A gods forsaken hellhole.
Numair: Oh, I'm at school still?
Photographer: Who's next?
Teacher: Myles and his wife, Eleni.
*Myles and Eleni walk up*
Eleni: I'm a bird!
Myles: No, you're a human!
Eleni: Well, you're just a big poop head.
Myles: OK.
Photographer: Smile.
Myles and Eleni: OK! *Both smile happily*
Photographer: Thank you for speeding this up by half a second.
Thayet: My beautiful complexion and I are next right?
Alanna: Say that to my face, ugly!
Thayet: Beg pardon, 'Lanna?
Alanna: *Froths*
Teacher: Don't pet the rabid animals. You're next, Thayet.
*Thayet flounces over to the stool*
*Photographer starts drooling*
Jon: Hurry up woman! Stop flouncing! And you *points to the photographer* stop looking at my woman!
Thayet: This "woman" is you're wife!
Jon: Shut up, woman!
Rould: Daddy!
Jon: Shut up, brat!
Thayet: But honny!
Jon: And you!
Thom: Mood swings, major!
Jon: I heard that!
Photographer: *To Thayet* Smile!
Thayet: Is this a good smile? *Huge grin* Or this? *Smaller grin*
Photographer: Whatever! I don't care!
Thayet: But I don't understand! Do you like this one? *Huge smile*
*Photographer takes the picture*
Thayet: *Starts to cry* I wasn't ready. *Her eyes fill with tears*
Teacher: Too bad. Go away.
*Thayet runs off*
Teacher: Last is Thom.
Thom: What? I'm not gay!
Teacher: *Gasp* Did I say you were?
Thom: No thanks, I already ate.
Teacher: Are you OK?
Numair: Oh, he's fine, he just got in a little spell accident at the University. He'll be fine in a few days.
Thom: Oh yes, I do love fish.
Photographer: Smile!
Thom: Wow, I'm flattered!
Photographer: Say cheese.
Thom: What? Rancid breath! I'm so sorry!
Photographer: Sagua no in espanyol.
Thom: Oh, OK! *Gives a huge smile*
*Photographer looks astonished and takes the photo*
Teacher: COFFEE BREAK!
~*~
Hehe! That was insanely fun to write! I'll update soon! I promise! In the meantime, please review! *Puppy dog eyes* You will, wont you?
Luv,
LadyKnight