Disclaimer : Slam Dunk is owned by Takehiko Inoue. Rani is mine!

Note: Sentences in italics are thoughts.

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tsongmandude - Um… Yes, the Kanamara Matsuri or Festival of the Steel Phallus is real. They do it in Kawasaki, Japan every April. You like Rani!? Hmm….You want to suffer like Rukawa and Kogure? She's crazy, I'm telling you nyahahahah! You ought to get to know her better. All of my reviewers are being a sweetheart heheh.

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Madness

Chapter 7: Rukawa, The Victim

"Ohayo, Fujima-san!" Rani greeted the old woman in her late 60's lying on the hospital bed. "Time to drink your medicines now." After putting down the tray she was carrying on the side table, she helped the woman got up on her bed.

"Ah… Rani, I'm so glad you're here. You never failed to remind me of my medicines."

"It's my job, Fujima-san," Rani replied as she picked a bottle and took out a pill. "Besides, I enjoy talking to you since I don't have a grandmother anymore!"

"I like talking to you too because you are always so bubbly you make me forget my pains."

"Ah…but Fujima-san, you look great to me!" She handed the pill and a glass of water to her and sat down on the side of the bed. "I know Japanese people live longer lives so I know you will get to live for more than a hundred years! Maybe you could rub that longevity on me hahah!"

Rani and the old woman were engaged in their usual chitchats when someone came in. The old woman instantly recognized the visitor.

"Ohayo, obaa-san." A man in his mid-20's bowed to the old woman.

"Kenji! You are early today."

The young man scratched the back of his head. "Well, I have to go to Tokyo after lunch so I thought I'd drop by early. So, how are you feeling now?"

"I feel better, Kenji. Rani is taking good care of me." She looked at Rani and smiled. "Rani, dear, this is Fujima Kenji, my eldest grandson."

"Hajimemashite! Kenji-san…erm… Fujima Kenji-san." Rani bowed her head in greeting and smiled.

"Hahah! I am fine and you can call me Kenji. Thanks for taking care of grandma."

"Ie, it's my job, Kenji-san. Besides your grandma is fun to be with." She smiled at the old woman. "Very well then, I shall leave you two now. I'll get back this afternoon, Fujima-san." Then she turned to the young man. "Nice meeting you, Kenji-san." She turned to collect her tray and stuffs then went out of the room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Ready to go home, Rani?" Kogure approached his friend.

"Almost. But you can go ahead if you like, Kogure-kun. I still have to go to the mall."

"Are you going shopping?"

Rani slung her bag on her shoulders. "Not really, I'm just going to buy a cd of Okita Midori."

"Okita Midori? She pretty popular, ne? But I didn't know you're into Jpop now."

"Well, I like her songs. She sings well plus she's pretty!" Rani said excitedly.

"I'll go with you."

"Yosh! Let's go!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kogure has already informed Rani that he won't be able to bring her to the Doya-doya Festival. Instead, it would be Rukawa who would take her. He's going to pick her up in about three hours. Kogure made sure that there wouldn't be any phalluses parading on the streets on this festival. Rukawa didn't have to suffer from embarrassment like he did.

Rani entered his room and plopped on his bed. She watched her housemate prepare himself for his first real date with Maru. She knew Kogure is excited as the couple of times he went out with Maru, she was with them.

She propped herself up using her elbows. "Wow, my not so little brother is growing up! He's even going out on a date!"

"I'm going to take her to this fancy restaurant," Kogure said as he combed his hair in front of a mirror.

"Uhmm…what about a movie?"

Kogure shyly smiled at her through the mirror. "Hai, maybe we could watch Lord of the Rings." He walked out of the room. Rani got up and followed him.

"Uhmm…what else?" [A/N: Rani is beginning to sound like an FBI agent, ne?]

Kogure turned to face her. "What do you mean what else?"

"Umm…you know," she replied as she shrugged her shoulders. "spend time together, maybe go to a love hotel or something." Rani winked mischieviously.

"R-Rani, what are you saying?" Kogure blushed at the thought of him and Maru at a love hotel.

"Hahah! You are soooo nervous, Kogure-kun." Rani grinned at him. "Wait, don't tell me you are still a virgin."

Kogure sweatdropped. "I'll pick her up after two hours so I got to get going. Ja, ne!" He walked to the front door and opened it.

"Oh, alright." Rani bid her friend goodluck as he closed the door.

Kogure peeked at the door. "And be kind to Rukawa-kun!"

Rani rolled her eyes. "I am always kind to Rukawa-kun!"

After Kogure left, Rani shook her head. Kogure-kun can be so paranoid sometimes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Rukawa and Rani were walking down the streets of Osaka. They just got off the train and on their way to the festival venue.

Rani popped a peanut into her mouth and started munching when she noticed a group of girls looking at her companion. She elbowed Rukawa and pointed to their direction.

"Rukawa-kun, there's a group of girls oogling at you!"

The basketball player just shrugged his shoulders and continued on walking.

"Hey, would you mind walking slowly? I can't keep up with your pace." She noticed that Rukawa didn't even look at the girls. "Are you gay?" She double skipped to catch up with him.

Rukawa stopped walking and faced her. His eyes turned into slits. "No. And don't ever say that again. You are beginning to sound just like them." He cocked his head towards the girls' direction.

Rani decided to annoy Rukawa. "Then why don't you walk up to them and kiss them." She gestured to the direction of the girls stalking them while sporting a challenging look on her face.

"You must be joking," he answered sarcastically.

They resumed walking.

"I remember you told me that you had sex before. But you never told me if you had sex with men or women hahahah!!"

Rukawa abruptly turned his face to her. "I don't have to kiss a girl just to prove that I am not gay."

"You're right. You could be sued for sexual harassment. Hahah!"

Rukawa rolled his eyes.

"Ok. Ok. I was only teasing you. Besides, it takes more than a kiss to prove that you are a man!" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Aho," Rukawa snapped.

"Hey, watch it! I am four years older than you!"

"So? You act younger than me!" Rukawa retorted.

"Why…thank you! I'll take that as a compliment!" Rani grinned.

Rukawa sighed. Women!

They finally reached their destination. Rani was gasping for air because she had to keep up with Rukawa's pace.

"I need a drink. There's the vending machine. What do you want?" She asked.

"Just a soda," Rukawa answered.

"Ok, I'll get them." She ran to the vending machine and left Rukawa.

The festival hasn't started yet. Rukawa waited and decided to doze off.

Rani inserted the coins. The vending machine churned out two cans of soda and she picked them up. Then something caught her attention. A really evil grin appeared on her face, one could almost see horrible horns popping out of her head. Heheheh… She made another purchase from the vending machine, picked the item and walked towards Rukawa who was obviously in dreamland.

"Rukawa-kun, here's your soda."

Rukawa, still half asleep, reached out for the can but wondered why he couldn't feel it cold. He opened his eyes wide and saw something wrapped around the can. He peeled it off and looked at it closely.

*Blink* *Blink* That's Rukawa blinking at the object he was holding.

Rani moved a few paces away from him, evil grin still plastered on her face.

"What the---" He held it in front of him. Arghhh!!!

*Click!* *Click!* *Click!*

He saw flashes of bright lights directed towards him and a figure of a man dashed out of there fast.

Suddenly not feeling thirsty, he dumped the unopened can and the 'thing' into the trashcan. A chibi Rukawa stood there with his eyes formed into slits and veins popping out of his head. Relax... Rukawa Kaede, you are the King of Coolness. Keep calm... Keep calm... Now, attack!!!!

Rani ran for her life while the 'calm' Rukawa chased after her, hands formed into claws.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Soiled school girl's underwear! I don't believe it! He muttered under his breath.

Rukawa had been looking for Rani for almost an hour. He lost her when she ran into the middle of the crowd. Kogure-sempai is going to kill me if something happens to her.

The festival has already started when he spotted Rani oogling at the groups of young men clad only in loincloths shouting 'doya-doya'. He walked up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Eeek!" Rani shrieked.

He dragged her out of the crowd and reprimanded her. "You shouldn't have run away like that! What if I didn't find you and something happened to you!?"

Rani rolled her eyes. "Shessh….you are beginning to act like Kogure-kun."