Tortall Is A Spork
Me: Somebody fix that!
It's Picture Day in Tortall
Me: Thank you.
Disclaimer: Tortall is a spork.
Me: OK? Whose lame-o joke is this?
*Jon shuffles forward*
Me: Well, let's see what happens when we take that spork and shove it into your eye! *Insane giggles*
*Jon screams and runs away*
Me: OK. That's taken care of!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me. Which is pretty obvious and I shouldn't have to tell you!
~*~
Liney: *Holding a cup of coffee and bouncing around insanely* What is this stuff? Huh, huh, huh? What is it?
Photographer: *Sipping the coffee with his pinky out* Coffee.
Cleon: *Also hopping up and down like a lunatic* Where'd you get it?
Teacher: Colombia.
Maddy: *Bouncing off the walls, and getting severely hurt* We should go there, it's the best! Can we go there now? Can we? Huh? Huh?
Gary: You gave them coffee? You should have known better!
Teacher: I didn't think they'd actually drink it!
Maddy: Hey! Look a lifesaver!
Numair: That's a key ring.
Maddy: *Pop it into her mouth and starts chewing* Too bad!
Teacher: Coffee break is over...NOW!
*Everyone suddenly becomes un-hyper*
Teacher: Ok let's see *looks on a huge list of names* Yolane and Tristan are up now.
Tristan: But I'm dead!
Yolane: And me! Actually, I might be in prison, I don't remember exactly.
Teacher: Do I look like I care? *There is a sticker on the teacher's forehead that reads "I do care about everyone" but she quickly tears it off* Do I?
Tristan: No?
Teacher: I don't care. Now sit!
*Tristan plops down on the ground and begins to bark*
Maddy: I love this game! *Starts to bark then runs out into the hallway in pursuit of some imaginary squirrel*
Teacher: Will SOMEBODY please go get her? *Grabs Cleon and Liney who are having a tea party and drags them outside* FETCH!
*Cleon and Liney look casually at the teacher and stroll along the hallway discussing politics and the weather*
Photographer: You two just smile.
*Yolane and Tristan smile just as Maddy runs in dragging a huge string of sausages in her mouth and tackles the photographer, causing him to only get Tristan and Yolane's feet in the picture*
Photographer: Oh well. Easy come, easy go. *Sigh*
Teacher: OK. Tkaa's turn.
Tkaa: Don't make me hurt you.
Teacher: *Cowers* OK, never mind, you don't have to go. You know what, you can have a free block the rest of the day! Sound good?
Tkaa: Yes. *Strides off*
Maude: I wish I could do that.
Coram: No! *Screams and cowers in a corner*
Cleon: Let's play house! I'll be the telemarketer! *Picks up the phone* Seven, one, three, seven, six, nine, zero. *Into the phone* Hello? Is this the Pizzaria? Yes. I'd like to order. I'll have 22 large pepperoni pizzas, 3 medium cheese pizzas, 6 orders of cinnasticks, and 4 liters of soda. *Puts his hand over the mouthpiece* Do you guys want anything?
Neal: I'll have a pizza, or seven!
Cleon: *Into the phone* Make that-HEY! He hung up on me! What horrible service!
Raoul: Are you sure it was the Pizzaria?
Cleon: Positive, because when they picked up they said "Hello, McTharty residence."
Owen: What does that have to do with pizza?
Raoul: No, no, he's got a point.
*Kel, Daine, and Alanna run by whacking people with graduated cylinders*
George: You should wipe your feet off before you come inside! *George is wearing an apron, a bandana on his head and is holding a feather duster*
Jon: *Starts chanting* George is a girl, George is a girl!
George: I am? *Looks around* Really! My dreams are fulfilled! *Dances around the room happily*
Daine: *Sickly sweet tone* What's your great ambition, Numy?
Numair: To become the world's most powerful mage. Haha, wait, I've already done that! What's your greatest ambition.
Daine: To hurt you. Severely. Come here.
*Numair screams and runs around Daine follows waving a sharpened pencil and cackling like a lunatic*
*Alex walks in, in a leather jacket and leather boots and his hair all slicked back*
Teacher: *Tapping her foot* You're late again, Alexander.
Alex: Cool your jets, teach. I'm fashionably tardy.
Teacher: Not a good enough excuse.
Alex: Aw, kiss my ass.
Teacher: Alexander! Mind your tongue!
Maura: *Glomping onto Alex* You're cute.
Alex: Thanks! *Slicks back his hair*
Maddy: *Chewing on a graduated cylinder that Kel had dropped* Nope, not edible.
*Neal checked something off on a piece of paper and ran away muttering*
Teacher: *Sighs* Maura, you're next.
Maura: Can Alex be in the picture with me?
Teacher: *Bashing her head against the calk board* Sure. Whatever.
Maura: *Dances around happily* Celebrate good times, come on! Anyway, Alex, tell me about you.
Alex: Well, I have a short attention span and I-*Alex gets a glazed-over look in the eyes and walks away*
Maura: Dude.
Photographer: I'm saying. Anyway, smile.
*Maura frowns*
Photographer: Good, now just stand on your head.
*Maura does a flip*
*Photographer takes the picture about halfway through so it looks like she's standing on her head*
Photographer: Good enough. Who's next?
Teacher: Brokefang and the rest of the wolf pack.
Photographer: *Shudders* Wo-wo-wo-wolves?
Kaddar: No, wolves. I've never heard of wo-wo-wo-wolves before.
Liam: Neither me.
Roger: Yes! I finally beat you! I win! I win!
Alanna: Well then!
Neal: Can I have my Playstation back now?
Roger: I won on it! Just so you know. It's sacred now.
Alanna: Shut your pie hole, Mr. Cocky!
Neal: Sacred, ay? *Giggles evilly then smashes the Playstation with a mallet that appeared out of nowhere*
Roger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Onua: Behold, the power of cheese.
Liney: *Runs by screaming* THE KIRBYS! THEY'RE ATTACKING! RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Teacher: What? But Kirbys don't just attack, do they?
*Maddy rushes by chewing on a calculator*
*Cleon takes the calculator and starts chewing on it himself*
*Maddy shrugs and grabs a piece of chalk to chew on*
Thayet: Which color?
Kel: Pink. It, like, totally, like, matches your, like, eyes!
Thayet: Really?
Kel: Yes. Like, all the way!
Thayet: Thanks, Kelly-Welly.
Kel: You're welcome Thayet-Wayet.
Teacher: OK, are you going to take a picture of the wolfpack or not? I think they're getting angry!
Photographer: Where are they. *Shivers*
Teacher: In their cage.
Photographer: Phew, they're in a cage.
Teacher: Well, we don't want metal bars in the picture. You have to go into the cage, silly.
Photographer: No way! No way in hell I am going in there.
*A few moments later the Photographer walks out of the cage completely scratched and bitten up*
Photographer: Odd, I don't even remember going in there. I hope I took a picture.
Myles: Has anybody seen my key ring?
*Maddy hides behind Dom*
Alex: Hey, homies, are you going to get my picture or not?
Teacher: No.
Alex: Good, because a picture would totally screw up my rep.
Dom: Five, four, three, two, one!
Everybody except for the photographer: RECESS! YEY!
Photographer: Huh?
~*~
Riddle: Did you like it? I liked it almost as much as I like FISH.
Razzmatazz: That's nice. Shut up. *Begins to clean her paws*
Frizzle Frazzle: Hey Alianora, it's over, wake up.
Alianora: What? *Yawns*
Cleon (the cat): Hey, all you reading this, Maddy wants you to review. She told us to tell you, because she's inosmosis or something.
Wishful Thinking: It's indisposed, moron. Honestly, you're worse than Riddle.
Spork: Nobody's worse than Riddle.
Riddle: Hey!
Razzmatazz: Anyway, please review!
*All the cats purr loudly*
Luv,
Razzmatazz, Frizzle Frazzle, Spork, Riddle, Alianora, Wishful thinking, and Cleon
Me: Somebody fix that!
It's Picture Day in Tortall
Me: Thank you.
Disclaimer: Tortall is a spork.
Me: OK? Whose lame-o joke is this?
*Jon shuffles forward*
Me: Well, let's see what happens when we take that spork and shove it into your eye! *Insane giggles*
*Jon screams and runs away*
Me: OK. That's taken care of!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me. Which is pretty obvious and I shouldn't have to tell you!
~*~
Liney: *Holding a cup of coffee and bouncing around insanely* What is this stuff? Huh, huh, huh? What is it?
Photographer: *Sipping the coffee with his pinky out* Coffee.
Cleon: *Also hopping up and down like a lunatic* Where'd you get it?
Teacher: Colombia.
Maddy: *Bouncing off the walls, and getting severely hurt* We should go there, it's the best! Can we go there now? Can we? Huh? Huh?
Gary: You gave them coffee? You should have known better!
Teacher: I didn't think they'd actually drink it!
Maddy: Hey! Look a lifesaver!
Numair: That's a key ring.
Maddy: *Pop it into her mouth and starts chewing* Too bad!
Teacher: Coffee break is over...NOW!
*Everyone suddenly becomes un-hyper*
Teacher: Ok let's see *looks on a huge list of names* Yolane and Tristan are up now.
Tristan: But I'm dead!
Yolane: And me! Actually, I might be in prison, I don't remember exactly.
Teacher: Do I look like I care? *There is a sticker on the teacher's forehead that reads "I do care about everyone" but she quickly tears it off* Do I?
Tristan: No?
Teacher: I don't care. Now sit!
*Tristan plops down on the ground and begins to bark*
Maddy: I love this game! *Starts to bark then runs out into the hallway in pursuit of some imaginary squirrel*
Teacher: Will SOMEBODY please go get her? *Grabs Cleon and Liney who are having a tea party and drags them outside* FETCH!
*Cleon and Liney look casually at the teacher and stroll along the hallway discussing politics and the weather*
Photographer: You two just smile.
*Yolane and Tristan smile just as Maddy runs in dragging a huge string of sausages in her mouth and tackles the photographer, causing him to only get Tristan and Yolane's feet in the picture*
Photographer: Oh well. Easy come, easy go. *Sigh*
Teacher: OK. Tkaa's turn.
Tkaa: Don't make me hurt you.
Teacher: *Cowers* OK, never mind, you don't have to go. You know what, you can have a free block the rest of the day! Sound good?
Tkaa: Yes. *Strides off*
Maude: I wish I could do that.
Coram: No! *Screams and cowers in a corner*
Cleon: Let's play house! I'll be the telemarketer! *Picks up the phone* Seven, one, three, seven, six, nine, zero. *Into the phone* Hello? Is this the Pizzaria? Yes. I'd like to order. I'll have 22 large pepperoni pizzas, 3 medium cheese pizzas, 6 orders of cinnasticks, and 4 liters of soda. *Puts his hand over the mouthpiece* Do you guys want anything?
Neal: I'll have a pizza, or seven!
Cleon: *Into the phone* Make that-HEY! He hung up on me! What horrible service!
Raoul: Are you sure it was the Pizzaria?
Cleon: Positive, because when they picked up they said "Hello, McTharty residence."
Owen: What does that have to do with pizza?
Raoul: No, no, he's got a point.
*Kel, Daine, and Alanna run by whacking people with graduated cylinders*
George: You should wipe your feet off before you come inside! *George is wearing an apron, a bandana on his head and is holding a feather duster*
Jon: *Starts chanting* George is a girl, George is a girl!
George: I am? *Looks around* Really! My dreams are fulfilled! *Dances around the room happily*
Daine: *Sickly sweet tone* What's your great ambition, Numy?
Numair: To become the world's most powerful mage. Haha, wait, I've already done that! What's your greatest ambition.
Daine: To hurt you. Severely. Come here.
*Numair screams and runs around Daine follows waving a sharpened pencil and cackling like a lunatic*
*Alex walks in, in a leather jacket and leather boots and his hair all slicked back*
Teacher: *Tapping her foot* You're late again, Alexander.
Alex: Cool your jets, teach. I'm fashionably tardy.
Teacher: Not a good enough excuse.
Alex: Aw, kiss my ass.
Teacher: Alexander! Mind your tongue!
Maura: *Glomping onto Alex* You're cute.
Alex: Thanks! *Slicks back his hair*
Maddy: *Chewing on a graduated cylinder that Kel had dropped* Nope, not edible.
*Neal checked something off on a piece of paper and ran away muttering*
Teacher: *Sighs* Maura, you're next.
Maura: Can Alex be in the picture with me?
Teacher: *Bashing her head against the calk board* Sure. Whatever.
Maura: *Dances around happily* Celebrate good times, come on! Anyway, Alex, tell me about you.
Alex: Well, I have a short attention span and I-*Alex gets a glazed-over look in the eyes and walks away*
Maura: Dude.
Photographer: I'm saying. Anyway, smile.
*Maura frowns*
Photographer: Good, now just stand on your head.
*Maura does a flip*
*Photographer takes the picture about halfway through so it looks like she's standing on her head*
Photographer: Good enough. Who's next?
Teacher: Brokefang and the rest of the wolf pack.
Photographer: *Shudders* Wo-wo-wo-wolves?
Kaddar: No, wolves. I've never heard of wo-wo-wo-wolves before.
Liam: Neither me.
Roger: Yes! I finally beat you! I win! I win!
Alanna: Well then!
Neal: Can I have my Playstation back now?
Roger: I won on it! Just so you know. It's sacred now.
Alanna: Shut your pie hole, Mr. Cocky!
Neal: Sacred, ay? *Giggles evilly then smashes the Playstation with a mallet that appeared out of nowhere*
Roger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Onua: Behold, the power of cheese.
Liney: *Runs by screaming* THE KIRBYS! THEY'RE ATTACKING! RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Teacher: What? But Kirbys don't just attack, do they?
*Maddy rushes by chewing on a calculator*
*Cleon takes the calculator and starts chewing on it himself*
*Maddy shrugs and grabs a piece of chalk to chew on*
Thayet: Which color?
Kel: Pink. It, like, totally, like, matches your, like, eyes!
Thayet: Really?
Kel: Yes. Like, all the way!
Thayet: Thanks, Kelly-Welly.
Kel: You're welcome Thayet-Wayet.
Teacher: OK, are you going to take a picture of the wolfpack or not? I think they're getting angry!
Photographer: Where are they. *Shivers*
Teacher: In their cage.
Photographer: Phew, they're in a cage.
Teacher: Well, we don't want metal bars in the picture. You have to go into the cage, silly.
Photographer: No way! No way in hell I am going in there.
*A few moments later the Photographer walks out of the cage completely scratched and bitten up*
Photographer: Odd, I don't even remember going in there. I hope I took a picture.
Myles: Has anybody seen my key ring?
*Maddy hides behind Dom*
Alex: Hey, homies, are you going to get my picture or not?
Teacher: No.
Alex: Good, because a picture would totally screw up my rep.
Dom: Five, four, three, two, one!
Everybody except for the photographer: RECESS! YEY!
Photographer: Huh?
~*~
Riddle: Did you like it? I liked it almost as much as I like FISH.
Razzmatazz: That's nice. Shut up. *Begins to clean her paws*
Frizzle Frazzle: Hey Alianora, it's over, wake up.
Alianora: What? *Yawns*
Cleon (the cat): Hey, all you reading this, Maddy wants you to review. She told us to tell you, because she's inosmosis or something.
Wishful Thinking: It's indisposed, moron. Honestly, you're worse than Riddle.
Spork: Nobody's worse than Riddle.
Riddle: Hey!
Razzmatazz: Anyway, please review!
*All the cats purr loudly*
Luv,
Razzmatazz, Frizzle Frazzle, Spork, Riddle, Alianora, Wishful thinking, and Cleon