It's Picture Day in Tortall
Disclaimer: The...um...plot belongs to...um...Samurai Purse?
Me: *Sighs* It's the characters belong the Tamora Pierce.
Disclaimer: *Holds it's head* I am so confused!
Me: *Shoves the disclaimer into a freezer and bolts the door closed* That takes care of that! *Wipes disclaimer germs off on her pants*
Disclaimer: *Muffled* Help!
~*~
Photographer: Recess? Oh no! I'll just, um, stay here.
Dom: Suit yourself, dude, but recess rocks!
Maddy: RECESS! *Runs for the door* YEY! *Smashes into the wall* Oh no! Teacher, teacher! The door is gone! Someone has stolen the door! We're trapped! We're all doomed! Help!
Teacher: Ah-hem. *Opens the door, that is a few feet to the left of Maddy*
Maddy: Oh, oh yeah.
*Everybody files outside in a big blob*
Kel: *Dejected* Thayet, look at me. I'm big, strong and ugly. I'll never be a model!
Thayet: You know, you're right.
Kel: No! You're supposed to say 'no way Kel, you're smart and funny, and really pretty. Plus everybody loves you. Kel, YOU ROCK!' That's what you're supposed to say.
Thayet: I'm not allowed to lie. My mommy says it'll make my beautiful complexion disappear and my nose will get pointy.
*Kel goes away to pout under the monkey bars*
Gary: I wanna be the king!
Raoul: I wanna be the king!
Jon: Well I wanna be a fairy named Bertha!
George: No! I already called that job! *George is wearing a pink dress and a nametag that says 'hello, my name is BERTHA'*
Jon: *Bursting into tears* No f-f-fair! MOMMY!
Liam: *Walks up* Yes, Jon darling. Mommy's here.
*Jon screams bloody murder and runs like hell*
Liney: Haha, you run like a girl!
Liam: How am I supposed to comfort my son when he's running away from me like that? *Sniffles* A mother's job is never done.
Alanna: *Doing the Macarena* One banana, two banana, three banana, FOUR!
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
Alanna: Yes Buri, but it's only a song.
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
Teacher: Raoul! Come get your wife! She's scaring the children.
Raoul: No! You keep her! I don't want her!
Neal: *Bawling on the ground* MOMMY! That lady's scaring me!
Liam: Another son needs me?
Neal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Runs away to cower under the monkey bars with Jon*
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
*Myles sighs and shoots Buri with an arrow that has sleeping draft on it*
*Buri stops mid-banana and falls over, asleep*
Teacher: Thank the gods.
Owen: Yeah that was weird, but I have more pressing matters! I can't get the stain out of my hose! *Begins to smash the hose in question with a spiked club*
Cleon: Stop! We aren't barbarians! We have things designed for this! *Pulls out a bottle of "Shout"*
Owen: Oooh, ahhhh!
*Cleon begins to bash the "Shout" bottle on the spot*
Owen: I'm not sure if that's how you do it...You look kind of like you're mentally ill...
Cleon: I'm not an idiot! I'm not retarded! I know a lot about being mentally retarded and that is one thing that I am n--*Cleon completely freezes and begins to drool* Uhhhhh...
*Owen snaps his fingers a few times in front of Cleon's face*
Cleon: --ot! Thank you very much. *Walks by and trips over Buri* IT'S A DEAD BODY! *Screams high-pitchedly and runs around in circles*
Buri: *Waking up* Uhhh. What happened?
Cleon: IT'S ALIVE!
Teacher: No no! It's just Buri. It's OK? Wait, no it's not! RUN AWAY!
*Soon everyone is cowering under the slide except for Buri who is frothing madly and rampaging around the playground*
Teacher: Hm, it's slightly stuffy under here.
Alex: Hey Teach, your elbow is poking my groin.
Teacher: Yuck! *Spits on her elbow in attempt to clean it* Cooties!
*Photographer stumbles out of the school*
Tristan: Uh-oh Spaghetttio.
Liney: I ABSOLUETLY LOVE THAT SONG! *Sings all eight versus of the Spaghettio national anthem*
*Neal pats Liney's head and inches away slowly*
Cleon: HERMAN!
Neal: AHH! The morons surround me! Help!
*Everyone blinks in unison, except Maddy who is happily eating a dog biscuit*
Photographer: Hellooooooo? Is anybody here? I think recess is over! Oh, hello Buri. You have white foam around your mouth. Did you-OH MY GODS YOU'RE RABID! I'M IN HORRIBLY GRAVE DANGER!
*Everyone under the slide flinches as there are sounds of mauling coming from the area where Buri and the photographer are*
Daine: *Waving her fist* Bears are People too!
Numair: That has nothing to do with anything.
Daine: Pumpkins are People too!
*Numair sighs*
Teacher: You guys think we should make a run for it since Buri's busy?
Kel: Like, somebody, like, has to, like, protect me! Like, OMG!
Thayet: *In agreement* Like OMG, OMG!
Kaddar: I'll protect thou and thoust fair bosom!
Kel: Like, that's, like, my boobs, like, perv!
Roger: *Using his magic* I will finally kill Alanna! Once and for all! *Blasts Alanna with his orange Gift*
Alanna: *Falls over before the magic even gets close to her* I give up!
Roger: *Whispering to Onua* What do I do now?
Onua: Please, sah, may I have some more cheese?
Roger: You're weird. *Turns to Maude* What do I do now?
Maude: Marry me! I will be your queen. You're awfully sexy...*Stares at Roger and starts to drool, creating a puddle around the slide*
Roger: Uh...COOTIES!
Raoul: How about a story to pass the time?
All: NO!
Maddy: Yes!
Raoul: I'll take that as a definite yes from all of you.
*Everybody sighs except for Maddy who cuddles against Cleon to get comfortable*
Cleon: Ow! That's my eye!
Maddy: *Pointing to her nose* And this is my nose! *Points to her feet* And these are my toes!
Raoul: SHUT UP!
*Silence*
Raoul: OK, it's called Cinderella.
*Jon hugs his pet, Ferdinand, the dictionary*
Raoul: Once upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She was very smart and very kind, but she was extrememly ugly. There's a little something you should know about ugliness. Well, there's ugly, dog ugly, and hog ugly. Cinderella was dung ugly.
George: *Whispering* Is that possible.
Raoul: Both Cinderella's mother and father died, so she was put in the care of this lady and her two daughters. The mother and daughters were perfectly nice, and perfectly lovely. All around great people to be with. Cinderella HATED them. There was only one thing she hated more than her ugliness, and it was them.
Every day, when Cinderella awoke, she walked over to the mirror, broke it, and went into town to buy a new one for six gold nobles from a vendor who lived in the cellar, somehow he had gotten a hold of millions of these mirrors and Cinderella kept him in her basement so he could, well, vend them to her.
One day, when Cinderella woke up and looked in the mirror, she found it did not shatter! She had apparently gone through puberty and was now a fine looking young woman. She was so happy that she absolutely had to run downstairs and show the man in the cellar.
On her way down the stairs she tripped and fell on her head, killing her. The man in the cellar never got freed and her stepmother and stepsisters never used those stairs anyway so Cinderella was never found. The end.
Teacher: Uhhh...
George: THAT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL STORY THAT I HAVE EVER HEARD!
Jon: Please leave, I'm having a moment.
*Maddy snores and rolls over*
Liney: DAMN GIRL SHOULD HAVE SET THE DAMNED MAN FREE! *Starts mumbling about inconsiderate fools*
Photographer: Help...*Twitches*
*Buri gives off a war cry and rushes off to terrorize the watching pedestrians*
Dom: It's now or never! *Rushes off to the school, the rest of them following*
*Liam grabs the Photographer as they pass him and slings him over his shoulder*
~*~
I hope you liked it! Took me a while to write it. OMG I MET TAMORA PIERCE! *Screams and runs around* She came to my school! *Hyperventilates* Yeah, anyway, she's got a lot of new books planned and it sounds really cool! Email me if you MUST have details on the books, Tammy's personality, whatever...Oh, one more thing, I'm not going to write another chapter until I have 100 (Yup, the big three digits) reviews, so R&R!
Luv,
LadyKnight
Disclaimer: The...um...plot belongs to...um...Samurai Purse?
Me: *Sighs* It's the characters belong the Tamora Pierce.
Disclaimer: *Holds it's head* I am so confused!
Me: *Shoves the disclaimer into a freezer and bolts the door closed* That takes care of that! *Wipes disclaimer germs off on her pants*
Disclaimer: *Muffled* Help!
~*~
Photographer: Recess? Oh no! I'll just, um, stay here.
Dom: Suit yourself, dude, but recess rocks!
Maddy: RECESS! *Runs for the door* YEY! *Smashes into the wall* Oh no! Teacher, teacher! The door is gone! Someone has stolen the door! We're trapped! We're all doomed! Help!
Teacher: Ah-hem. *Opens the door, that is a few feet to the left of Maddy*
Maddy: Oh, oh yeah.
*Everybody files outside in a big blob*
Kel: *Dejected* Thayet, look at me. I'm big, strong and ugly. I'll never be a model!
Thayet: You know, you're right.
Kel: No! You're supposed to say 'no way Kel, you're smart and funny, and really pretty. Plus everybody loves you. Kel, YOU ROCK!' That's what you're supposed to say.
Thayet: I'm not allowed to lie. My mommy says it'll make my beautiful complexion disappear and my nose will get pointy.
*Kel goes away to pout under the monkey bars*
Gary: I wanna be the king!
Raoul: I wanna be the king!
Jon: Well I wanna be a fairy named Bertha!
George: No! I already called that job! *George is wearing a pink dress and a nametag that says 'hello, my name is BERTHA'*
Jon: *Bursting into tears* No f-f-fair! MOMMY!
Liam: *Walks up* Yes, Jon darling. Mommy's here.
*Jon screams bloody murder and runs like hell*
Liney: Haha, you run like a girl!
Liam: How am I supposed to comfort my son when he's running away from me like that? *Sniffles* A mother's job is never done.
Alanna: *Doing the Macarena* One banana, two banana, three banana, FOUR!
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
Alanna: Yes Buri, but it's only a song.
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
Teacher: Raoul! Come get your wife! She's scaring the children.
Raoul: No! You keep her! I don't want her!
Neal: *Bawling on the ground* MOMMY! That lady's scaring me!
Liam: Another son needs me?
Neal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Runs away to cower under the monkey bars with Jon*
Buri: Banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana!
*Myles sighs and shoots Buri with an arrow that has sleeping draft on it*
*Buri stops mid-banana and falls over, asleep*
Teacher: Thank the gods.
Owen: Yeah that was weird, but I have more pressing matters! I can't get the stain out of my hose! *Begins to smash the hose in question with a spiked club*
Cleon: Stop! We aren't barbarians! We have things designed for this! *Pulls out a bottle of "Shout"*
Owen: Oooh, ahhhh!
*Cleon begins to bash the "Shout" bottle on the spot*
Owen: I'm not sure if that's how you do it...You look kind of like you're mentally ill...
Cleon: I'm not an idiot! I'm not retarded! I know a lot about being mentally retarded and that is one thing that I am n--*Cleon completely freezes and begins to drool* Uhhhhh...
*Owen snaps his fingers a few times in front of Cleon's face*
Cleon: --ot! Thank you very much. *Walks by and trips over Buri* IT'S A DEAD BODY! *Screams high-pitchedly and runs around in circles*
Buri: *Waking up* Uhhh. What happened?
Cleon: IT'S ALIVE!
Teacher: No no! It's just Buri. It's OK? Wait, no it's not! RUN AWAY!
*Soon everyone is cowering under the slide except for Buri who is frothing madly and rampaging around the playground*
Teacher: Hm, it's slightly stuffy under here.
Alex: Hey Teach, your elbow is poking my groin.
Teacher: Yuck! *Spits on her elbow in attempt to clean it* Cooties!
*Photographer stumbles out of the school*
Tristan: Uh-oh Spaghetttio.
Liney: I ABSOLUETLY LOVE THAT SONG! *Sings all eight versus of the Spaghettio national anthem*
*Neal pats Liney's head and inches away slowly*
Cleon: HERMAN!
Neal: AHH! The morons surround me! Help!
*Everyone blinks in unison, except Maddy who is happily eating a dog biscuit*
Photographer: Hellooooooo? Is anybody here? I think recess is over! Oh, hello Buri. You have white foam around your mouth. Did you-OH MY GODS YOU'RE RABID! I'M IN HORRIBLY GRAVE DANGER!
*Everyone under the slide flinches as there are sounds of mauling coming from the area where Buri and the photographer are*
Daine: *Waving her fist* Bears are People too!
Numair: That has nothing to do with anything.
Daine: Pumpkins are People too!
*Numair sighs*
Teacher: You guys think we should make a run for it since Buri's busy?
Kel: Like, somebody, like, has to, like, protect me! Like, OMG!
Thayet: *In agreement* Like OMG, OMG!
Kaddar: I'll protect thou and thoust fair bosom!
Kel: Like, that's, like, my boobs, like, perv!
Roger: *Using his magic* I will finally kill Alanna! Once and for all! *Blasts Alanna with his orange Gift*
Alanna: *Falls over before the magic even gets close to her* I give up!
Roger: *Whispering to Onua* What do I do now?
Onua: Please, sah, may I have some more cheese?
Roger: You're weird. *Turns to Maude* What do I do now?
Maude: Marry me! I will be your queen. You're awfully sexy...*Stares at Roger and starts to drool, creating a puddle around the slide*
Roger: Uh...COOTIES!
Raoul: How about a story to pass the time?
All: NO!
Maddy: Yes!
Raoul: I'll take that as a definite yes from all of you.
*Everybody sighs except for Maddy who cuddles against Cleon to get comfortable*
Cleon: Ow! That's my eye!
Maddy: *Pointing to her nose* And this is my nose! *Points to her feet* And these are my toes!
Raoul: SHUT UP!
*Silence*
Raoul: OK, it's called Cinderella.
*Jon hugs his pet, Ferdinand, the dictionary*
Raoul: Once upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She was very smart and very kind, but she was extrememly ugly. There's a little something you should know about ugliness. Well, there's ugly, dog ugly, and hog ugly. Cinderella was dung ugly.
George: *Whispering* Is that possible.
Raoul: Both Cinderella's mother and father died, so she was put in the care of this lady and her two daughters. The mother and daughters were perfectly nice, and perfectly lovely. All around great people to be with. Cinderella HATED them. There was only one thing she hated more than her ugliness, and it was them.
Every day, when Cinderella awoke, she walked over to the mirror, broke it, and went into town to buy a new one for six gold nobles from a vendor who lived in the cellar, somehow he had gotten a hold of millions of these mirrors and Cinderella kept him in her basement so he could, well, vend them to her.
One day, when Cinderella woke up and looked in the mirror, she found it did not shatter! She had apparently gone through puberty and was now a fine looking young woman. She was so happy that she absolutely had to run downstairs and show the man in the cellar.
On her way down the stairs she tripped and fell on her head, killing her. The man in the cellar never got freed and her stepmother and stepsisters never used those stairs anyway so Cinderella was never found. The end.
Teacher: Uhhh...
George: THAT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL STORY THAT I HAVE EVER HEARD!
Jon: Please leave, I'm having a moment.
*Maddy snores and rolls over*
Liney: DAMN GIRL SHOULD HAVE SET THE DAMNED MAN FREE! *Starts mumbling about inconsiderate fools*
Photographer: Help...*Twitches*
*Buri gives off a war cry and rushes off to terrorize the watching pedestrians*
Dom: It's now or never! *Rushes off to the school, the rest of them following*
*Liam grabs the Photographer as they pass him and slings him over his shoulder*
~*~
I hope you liked it! Took me a while to write it. OMG I MET TAMORA PIERCE! *Screams and runs around* She came to my school! *Hyperventilates* Yeah, anyway, she's got a lot of new books planned and it sounds really cool! Email me if you MUST have details on the books, Tammy's personality, whatever...Oh, one more thing, I'm not going to write another chapter until I have 100 (Yup, the big three digits) reviews, so R&R!
Luv,
LadyKnight