It's Picture Day in Tortall
Disclaimer: By golly, it is!
Me: *Blinks* And now it's time for you to disclaim. Duh.
Disclaimer: Huh?
Me: You're name is Disclaimer. You're supposed to disclaim. It's the entire meaning of your meaningless life. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -
*So much more 'uh' that the old disclaimer got tired of waiting, and they had to hire a new one*
New Disclaimer: STOP 'UH'ING ALREADY!
Me: -hhhhhhhhhhhh *chokes* OK.
New Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me.
~*~
Dom: *Panting and barricading the door shut* Phew. She can't get us as long as we don't open the door.
Photographer: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm stuck in here forever!
Teacher: You haven't even finished your job!
Photographer: *Pouts* Fine. Who's next.
Teacher: Owen, mah laddy!
Owen: I ain't your laddy!
Alanna: *Mumbling* No, you're a lady.
Owen: Ah!
Kel: Ha!
Cleon: Hey! That's the same two letters only in reverse!
Teacher: What? But...? Where did you come from?
Cleon: Well, I was born in Kennan, several years ago. I was a baby when I was born, a boy baby. My mom gave birth to me. And one time...
Teacher: No, I mean just now.
Cleon: Uhhhhhh...SALAD! *Screams and rushes off*
Photographer: This is so weird. Anyway, you Owen, sit on the stool and smile.
Owen: I have jolly no jolly problem jolly with jolly smiling jolly for it jolly expresses jolly jolliness!
Jon: No shit, Sherlock.
Owen: That was jolly well not jolly nice!
Photographer: Smile kid.
Owen: *Huge smile* Jolly?
Photographer: *Takes the picture* One more step closer to retirement. NEXT!
Wyldon: *Skipping up in a goldy-locks wig and a maroon dress* I'm next!
*Everybody sweatdrops like anime characters*
Wyldon: What? Like, why don't you like me! *Bursts into feminine tears* Nobody likes me! You all think I'm ugly!
Teacher: Please don't cry.
Photographer: Smile so I can take a picture of your, um, beautiful face. *Barfs*
Wyldon: *Perking up* OK!
Photographer: *Takes the picture* This is so weird.
Neal: I can't get the stain out of my hose! *Begins to smash the hose with a club*
Cleon: Stop! We aren't barbarians! We have things designed for this! *Pulls out a bottle of "Shout"*
Neal: Oooh, ahhhh!
*Cleon begins to bash the "Shout" bottle on the spot*
Neal: I'm not sure if that's how you do it...
Cleon: Of course I am! I'm not an idiot! *Cleon completely freezes and begins to drool* Uhhhhh...
Teacher: I told you not to eat any more of the rubber cement, Cleon!
Cleon: It wasn't me! *Points at Maddy*
Maddy: *Eating the rubber cement, bottle and all* Yummy.
Teacher: Oh, well that's OK then! Goddess and Mithros are up now.
Mithros: *Pulling a lacy breastband off of one of his gleaming swords* GODDESS! You have to stop leaving your stuff around!
Goddess: sorry, Mithy dear. Won't happen again.
Mithros: *Trying on breastband and examining himself in a mirror* Sure it wont.
Goddess: Hey! Stop that! It's mine!
Mithros: *Wide-eyed* No! It's mine! Mine, I tell you, MINE!
Teacher: *In shock* You guys are up.
Mithros: Why didn't you say so? *Doesn't take the breastband off*
Liney: You might want to lose the bra, dude.
Mithros: MINE! NEVER SHALL WE PART!
Photographer: As long as you smile, I don't care if you cancan on top of a television wearing nothing but a tea towel while singing the Tortall national anthem.
*Jon walks away from the TV looking dejected and pulling up his tea towel*
Photographer: Maybe I do mind...but just smile anyway.
Goddess: I en't gonna smile till I gets my breastband back!
Daine: *Mauls Mithros and gets the breastband* Here you go. *Hands it to the Goddess*
Goddess: Yey! *Smiles*
Mithros: *Frowns* Mean head.
*Photographer takes the picture anyway*
*Suddenly three people, two tall and one short, appear in the doorway, after of course, hacking it down with swords, axes and arrows*
The Short Redhead (Could he be related to Alanna?): This doesn't look like Mordor...
A Tall Guy: Last time we take directions from you, Gimli!
Gimli: Sorry! *Sarcastic* You think I should follow your manly instincts Legolas?
Legolas: I have FEMININE instincts dude. Don't get your pantyhose in a bunch.
Aragorn: *Dancing around and singing* Leggy is gay! Leggy is gay!
Legolas: *Shoots at Aragorn and misses* Take that!
*The arrow hits Thayet*
Thayet: I'm, like, dying, like! Nooooo,--like--oooooooo! *Dies*
*Everyone parties*
Gimli: Why are we partying again?
Aragorn: I don't properly know.
Maddy: Can I borrow your sword?
Aragorn: Um, OK!
Maddy: Thanks! *Takes the sword and tries to eat it*
Aragorn: Oh my!
Maddy: *Bites a huge chunk out of the sword, which turns out to be Styrofoam* This is good.
Legolas: So that's why you were so talented. Because your sword was made out of, like, foamy stuff. *Waves his hand around so that his pink fingernail polish would dry*
Wyldon: Great color, hun.
Legolas: Totally!
Teacher: Anyway, Jump is up now!
Jump: Meow!
Faithful: Woof!
Teacher: That's not weird. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. *Chants about it not happening*
Onua: *Singing* Cheese, cheese, the magical dairy product! The more you eat the more you fix the duct!
Photographer: Since they're animals, they can't smile! So I'll just take a picture! Haha, I win! *Takes the picture and is mauled by Jump and Faithful* Owwies.
Legolas: Like, ha! Like, ha!
Teacher: That's everybody! Wow! I thought we'd never get through it all!
*Buri runs through the door, still rabid*
Everybody: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Aragorn: Wait, why are we yelling?
Gimli: She's rabid fool!
Aragorn: Ooooh!
~*~
Did you like it? I hope so! I don't know how many more chapters I'll be doing of this so...enjoy it while you can! Hehehe. Review please! *Big sparkling anime eyes* Please?
Luv,
LadyKnight
Disclaimer: By golly, it is!
Me: *Blinks* And now it's time for you to disclaim. Duh.
Disclaimer: Huh?
Me: You're name is Disclaimer. You're supposed to disclaim. It's the entire meaning of your meaningless life. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -
*So much more 'uh' that the old disclaimer got tired of waiting, and they had to hire a new one*
New Disclaimer: STOP 'UH'ING ALREADY!
Me: -hhhhhhhhhhhh *chokes* OK.
New Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, not me.
~*~
Dom: *Panting and barricading the door shut* Phew. She can't get us as long as we don't open the door.
Photographer: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm stuck in here forever!
Teacher: You haven't even finished your job!
Photographer: *Pouts* Fine. Who's next.
Teacher: Owen, mah laddy!
Owen: I ain't your laddy!
Alanna: *Mumbling* No, you're a lady.
Owen: Ah!
Kel: Ha!
Cleon: Hey! That's the same two letters only in reverse!
Teacher: What? But...? Where did you come from?
Cleon: Well, I was born in Kennan, several years ago. I was a baby when I was born, a boy baby. My mom gave birth to me. And one time...
Teacher: No, I mean just now.
Cleon: Uhhhhhh...SALAD! *Screams and rushes off*
Photographer: This is so weird. Anyway, you Owen, sit on the stool and smile.
Owen: I have jolly no jolly problem jolly with jolly smiling jolly for it jolly expresses jolly jolliness!
Jon: No shit, Sherlock.
Owen: That was jolly well not jolly nice!
Photographer: Smile kid.
Owen: *Huge smile* Jolly?
Photographer: *Takes the picture* One more step closer to retirement. NEXT!
Wyldon: *Skipping up in a goldy-locks wig and a maroon dress* I'm next!
*Everybody sweatdrops like anime characters*
Wyldon: What? Like, why don't you like me! *Bursts into feminine tears* Nobody likes me! You all think I'm ugly!
Teacher: Please don't cry.
Photographer: Smile so I can take a picture of your, um, beautiful face. *Barfs*
Wyldon: *Perking up* OK!
Photographer: *Takes the picture* This is so weird.
Neal: I can't get the stain out of my hose! *Begins to smash the hose with a club*
Cleon: Stop! We aren't barbarians! We have things designed for this! *Pulls out a bottle of "Shout"*
Neal: Oooh, ahhhh!
*Cleon begins to bash the "Shout" bottle on the spot*
Neal: I'm not sure if that's how you do it...
Cleon: Of course I am! I'm not an idiot! *Cleon completely freezes and begins to drool* Uhhhhh...
Teacher: I told you not to eat any more of the rubber cement, Cleon!
Cleon: It wasn't me! *Points at Maddy*
Maddy: *Eating the rubber cement, bottle and all* Yummy.
Teacher: Oh, well that's OK then! Goddess and Mithros are up now.
Mithros: *Pulling a lacy breastband off of one of his gleaming swords* GODDESS! You have to stop leaving your stuff around!
Goddess: sorry, Mithy dear. Won't happen again.
Mithros: *Trying on breastband and examining himself in a mirror* Sure it wont.
Goddess: Hey! Stop that! It's mine!
Mithros: *Wide-eyed* No! It's mine! Mine, I tell you, MINE!
Teacher: *In shock* You guys are up.
Mithros: Why didn't you say so? *Doesn't take the breastband off*
Liney: You might want to lose the bra, dude.
Mithros: MINE! NEVER SHALL WE PART!
Photographer: As long as you smile, I don't care if you cancan on top of a television wearing nothing but a tea towel while singing the Tortall national anthem.
*Jon walks away from the TV looking dejected and pulling up his tea towel*
Photographer: Maybe I do mind...but just smile anyway.
Goddess: I en't gonna smile till I gets my breastband back!
Daine: *Mauls Mithros and gets the breastband* Here you go. *Hands it to the Goddess*
Goddess: Yey! *Smiles*
Mithros: *Frowns* Mean head.
*Photographer takes the picture anyway*
*Suddenly three people, two tall and one short, appear in the doorway, after of course, hacking it down with swords, axes and arrows*
The Short Redhead (Could he be related to Alanna?): This doesn't look like Mordor...
A Tall Guy: Last time we take directions from you, Gimli!
Gimli: Sorry! *Sarcastic* You think I should follow your manly instincts Legolas?
Legolas: I have FEMININE instincts dude. Don't get your pantyhose in a bunch.
Aragorn: *Dancing around and singing* Leggy is gay! Leggy is gay!
Legolas: *Shoots at Aragorn and misses* Take that!
*The arrow hits Thayet*
Thayet: I'm, like, dying, like! Nooooo,--like--oooooooo! *Dies*
*Everyone parties*
Gimli: Why are we partying again?
Aragorn: I don't properly know.
Maddy: Can I borrow your sword?
Aragorn: Um, OK!
Maddy: Thanks! *Takes the sword and tries to eat it*
Aragorn: Oh my!
Maddy: *Bites a huge chunk out of the sword, which turns out to be Styrofoam* This is good.
Legolas: So that's why you were so talented. Because your sword was made out of, like, foamy stuff. *Waves his hand around so that his pink fingernail polish would dry*
Wyldon: Great color, hun.
Legolas: Totally!
Teacher: Anyway, Jump is up now!
Jump: Meow!
Faithful: Woof!
Teacher: That's not weird. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. *Chants about it not happening*
Onua: *Singing* Cheese, cheese, the magical dairy product! The more you eat the more you fix the duct!
Photographer: Since they're animals, they can't smile! So I'll just take a picture! Haha, I win! *Takes the picture and is mauled by Jump and Faithful* Owwies.
Legolas: Like, ha! Like, ha!
Teacher: That's everybody! Wow! I thought we'd never get through it all!
*Buri runs through the door, still rabid*
Everybody: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Aragorn: Wait, why are we yelling?
Gimli: She's rabid fool!
Aragorn: Ooooh!
~*~
Did you like it? I hope so! I don't know how many more chapters I'll be doing of this so...enjoy it while you can! Hehehe. Review please! *Big sparkling anime eyes* Please?
Luv,
LadyKnight