Author: Sylyne D. Anhem
Email: silvery_sylyne@hotmail.com
What A Night
Rated: R
Romance/Supernatural
:/
Normally, I hate criticism, constructive or otherwise, my pathetic ego just
can't handle it. But now I have to agree with the reviewer who said it
seemed "rushed". I wrote that chapter last night, in an attempt to just get
it posted, and I was rushed, and it really showed in my writing. I apologize,
and promise that future chapters, though they will not be posted as quickly,
will be more carefully written. I appreciate the constructive criticism,
because I'm disappointed in the quality of my writing in the second chapter.
Personally, I liked the first chapter, but the second is just... moody, I
guess, you could say...
Anyhow, I'll try harder to make sure my next chapter makes more sense.
Chapter Three
Serena groaned and rolled over. Mentally, she thanked god she was
able to sleep in, and avoid the harsh beeping of alarm clocks and 6 AM wake
up calls. All she had to do was check in with her editor once a week to let
her know how the latest book was going. And right now, she was glad she
didn't have to get up till at least twelve... that gave her... she checked
the clock on her bedside table. Two hours ago. Greaaat.
She flipped over again, and tumbled out of bed, a massive bundle of
comforters and sheets.
"Ohhhhhhh..." Serena groaned, "What did I drink??" She thought over
the events of the night before and slammed her head against her bed. "No way.
Noooo freakin' way. Just some horribly bizarre nightmare caused by overdose
on something... Yes. Yes. Yes, that must be it." Glancing down, she noted
that she was wearing pyjamas, further supporting her theory that the eerie
memories of the previous evening were just dreams. Hurling the blankets back
onto her bed, she stumbled out of her bedroom.
Oddly enough, her usually messy apartment was spotless. Dizzily, she
made her way to the kitchen and chugged one of the many bottles of ice water
she kept stocked in her fridge. Grabbing a stale donut from a near-empty Tim
Hortons box, she headed towards her laptop. The screensaver, a multicoloured
box danced across the screen, and as she touched the mouse, causing it to
vanish, the words, "A dream is an answer to a question we haven't learned how
to ask." appeared.
A tic started at the corner of her eye, "Damn, I need more sleep."
She retreated to her bedroom.
Four hours later... (btw, I love this scene! I have it pictured in my mind
and it's so cool!)
Dusk set in and Serena rolled over, glancing out the window to note
the sky tinged with orange behind her view of highrises. She smiled meekly
and hugged the blankets, snuggling deeper into the nest she had made for
herself.
"Oh, now don't tell me you slept all day." The opposite side of her
bed sunk down, and Serena, despite the horrified feeling that ran through
her, kept her eyes closed and yanked a pillow over her head.
"If I can't see you, you're not really here..." she muttered and
heard a dark chuckle, wincing at how easily that voice could pierce her
defenses. A hand penetrated her wall of blankets, long fingers running
through her hair, massaging the back of your neck.
"Still don't believe I'm here?" he whispered into her ear, warm
breath brushing her cheek. Serena groaned, rolled over and shoved the sheets
off her face. Endymion smiled down at her, face shadowy and dark, fangs
glinting in the twilight.
"Oh, damn you!" she berated. His hand remained on her neck, the pad
of his thumb running along the curve of her throat. She swallowed, becoming
nervous.
"Too late." he leaned forward, grin ever-widening. "Serena."
"Um... yeah?"
"Would you like to go out with me tonight?"
It seemed such a monotonous phrase, so absurdly normal, that she
burst into laughter. Endymion furrowed his coal-black eyebrows, lips pressing
together in mild offense. "Sure," she giggled, "sure, I will. After all, why
not? Why not go out with a vampire?"
A smirk that held a sense of irony formed at his mouth. "I assure
you, little one, we make the best dates." He grinned and his elongated
incisors sent a chill down her spine, reminding her just how serious the
situation was.
Tossing the heavy quilts off the bed, she sat up and ran a hand
through her hair. "So. Where to?"
"How about The Pulse?"
"The PULSE??" Serena gaped at Endymion. The Pulse was an exclusive
restaurant-club, and only the city's elite made it there. "You can get into
the pulse?"
"You'd be amazed by the strings," he tugged on a golden lock of hair,
"I can pull, little Serena."
"I don't have anything to wear to The Pulse of all places! I don't
have anything I can wear to McDonalds!"
He raised several bags into the air, attractive store labels
decorating them. Donna Karen, Tiffany's, Victoria's Secret. She, in turn,
raised her eyebrows before snatching the bags away from him. Diving into one
of them she discovered a lacy spaghetti-strapped black knee-length number,
slit reaching mid-thigh. Her eyes widened tremulously. "This isn't a dress!
It's lingerie!"
He smiled a wicked, toothy leer. "No," he declared, reaching for one
of the other bags and retrieving a small mass of material, "THIS is
lingerie." He handed it to her, a racy silver sheer teddy, whose sole purpose
was obviously to reveal and emphasize everything it barely covered. She
gasped and sent him a scandalized look.
"I can't wear this stuff in public!"
"Well... we could stay here and you could model it privately for
me..."
A slap resounded throughout the room and he smothered a laugh. Ah,
life would be interesting.
'Course, by now "last night" was a couple weeks ago or somethin'... so...
sorry? :) Please read and review, it's the reviews that make me write faster!
And btw, yes it is a bit unrealistic that she would just allow him to waltz
into her life and tell him everything, etc, etc, etc... but isn't a vampire
unrealistic anyhow? Come on, I gotta have a bit of surrealism....
§ylyne.
Email: silvery_sylyne@hotmail.com
Email: silvery_sylyne@hotmail.com
What A Night
Rated: R
Romance/Supernatural
:/
Normally, I hate criticism, constructive or otherwise, my pathetic ego just
can't handle it. But now I have to agree with the reviewer who said it
seemed "rushed". I wrote that chapter last night, in an attempt to just get
it posted, and I was rushed, and it really showed in my writing. I apologize,
and promise that future chapters, though they will not be posted as quickly,
will be more carefully written. I appreciate the constructive criticism,
because I'm disappointed in the quality of my writing in the second chapter.
Personally, I liked the first chapter, but the second is just... moody, I
guess, you could say...
Anyhow, I'll try harder to make sure my next chapter makes more sense.
Chapter Three
Serena groaned and rolled over. Mentally, she thanked god she was
able to sleep in, and avoid the harsh beeping of alarm clocks and 6 AM wake
up calls. All she had to do was check in with her editor once a week to let
her know how the latest book was going. And right now, she was glad she
didn't have to get up till at least twelve... that gave her... she checked
the clock on her bedside table. Two hours ago. Greaaat.
She flipped over again, and tumbled out of bed, a massive bundle of
comforters and sheets.
"Ohhhhhhh..." Serena groaned, "What did I drink??" She thought over
the events of the night before and slammed her head against her bed. "No way.
Noooo freakin' way. Just some horribly bizarre nightmare caused by overdose
on something... Yes. Yes. Yes, that must be it." Glancing down, she noted
that she was wearing pyjamas, further supporting her theory that the eerie
memories of the previous evening were just dreams. Hurling the blankets back
onto her bed, she stumbled out of her bedroom.
Oddly enough, her usually messy apartment was spotless. Dizzily, she
made her way to the kitchen and chugged one of the many bottles of ice water
she kept stocked in her fridge. Grabbing a stale donut from a near-empty Tim
Hortons box, she headed towards her laptop. The screensaver, a multicoloured
box danced across the screen, and as she touched the mouse, causing it to
vanish, the words, "A dream is an answer to a question we haven't learned how
to ask." appeared.
A tic started at the corner of her eye, "Damn, I need more sleep."
She retreated to her bedroom.
Four hours later... (btw, I love this scene! I have it pictured in my mind
and it's so cool!)
Dusk set in and Serena rolled over, glancing out the window to note
the sky tinged with orange behind her view of highrises. She smiled meekly
and hugged the blankets, snuggling deeper into the nest she had made for
herself.
"Oh, now don't tell me you slept all day." The opposite side of her
bed sunk down, and Serena, despite the horrified feeling that ran through
her, kept her eyes closed and yanked a pillow over her head.
"If I can't see you, you're not really here..." she muttered and
heard a dark chuckle, wincing at how easily that voice could pierce her
defenses. A hand penetrated her wall of blankets, long fingers running
through her hair, massaging the back of your neck.
"Still don't believe I'm here?" he whispered into her ear, warm
breath brushing her cheek. Serena groaned, rolled over and shoved the sheets
off her face. Endymion smiled down at her, face shadowy and dark, fangs
glinting in the twilight.
"Oh, damn you!" she berated. His hand remained on her neck, the pad
of his thumb running along the curve of her throat. She swallowed, becoming
nervous.
"Too late." he leaned forward, grin ever-widening. "Serena."
"Um... yeah?"
"Would you like to go out with me tonight?"
It seemed such a monotonous phrase, so absurdly normal, that she
burst into laughter. Endymion furrowed his coal-black eyebrows, lips pressing
together in mild offense. "Sure," she giggled, "sure, I will. After all, why
not? Why not go out with a vampire?"
A smirk that held a sense of irony formed at his mouth. "I assure
you, little one, we make the best dates." He grinned and his elongated
incisors sent a chill down her spine, reminding her just how serious the
situation was.
Tossing the heavy quilts off the bed, she sat up and ran a hand
through her hair. "So. Where to?"
"How about The Pulse?"
"The PULSE??" Serena gaped at Endymion. The Pulse was an exclusive
restaurant-club, and only the city's elite made it there. "You can get into
the pulse?"
"You'd be amazed by the strings," he tugged on a golden lock of hair,
"I can pull, little Serena."
"I don't have anything to wear to The Pulse of all places! I don't
have anything I can wear to McDonalds!"
He raised several bags into the air, attractive store labels
decorating them. Donna Karen, Tiffany's, Victoria's Secret. She, in turn,
raised her eyebrows before snatching the bags away from him. Diving into one
of them she discovered a lacy spaghetti-strapped black knee-length number,
slit reaching mid-thigh. Her eyes widened tremulously. "This isn't a dress!
It's lingerie!"
He smiled a wicked, toothy leer. "No," he declared, reaching for one
of the other bags and retrieving a small mass of material, "THIS is
lingerie." He handed it to her, a racy silver sheer teddy, whose sole purpose
was obviously to reveal and emphasize everything it barely covered. She
gasped and sent him a scandalized look.
"I can't wear this stuff in public!"
"Well... we could stay here and you could model it privately for
me..."
A slap resounded throughout the room and he smothered a laugh. Ah,
life would be interesting.
'Course, by now "last night" was a couple weeks ago or somethin'... so...
sorry? :) Please read and review, it's the reviews that make me write faster!
And btw, yes it is a bit unrealistic that she would just allow him to waltz
into her life and tell him everything, etc, etc, etc... but isn't a vampire
unrealistic anyhow? Come on, I gotta have a bit of surrealism....
§ylyne.
Email: silvery_sylyne@hotmail.com