Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own the characters or Gundam Wing so please don't
sue me!
Author's Note: Here is the next part. I think I like the way it's coming along, but I'd really like input, so please read and review!
Love will not Die
Part II
By, Silver Fox
Dorothy once again found herself inside the waiting room of a medical facility. Only this time, two things were different. She was in a very large hospital waiting room for one thing, and the second thing was that she wasn't alone this time. Her valiant knight in shining armor Quatre was there with her, feeling the pain with her. He was always at her side, holding her and her spirit up. The fact that she had this disease made him cry every night. She knew because she could hear him sobbing into his pillow, praying to God that she would live and be ok. Every time she heard this, Dorothy cried herself. She could feel the misery and anguish that he was feeling. Anything that the felt, it seemed like she could experience it ten times worse. At the moment, he was just sitting there and holding her hand. She felt that she had to say something. He looked as if he were in hell.
"Quatre?" she asked meekly.
"Huh, what is it?"
"I'm sorry for having to put you through this."
"Putting me through what?"
"All this pain and suffering. You really shouldn't have to bear this, but I am glad you're here." She put her head on his shoulder and they both let their eyes stray. " Do you remember the first time you tried to kiss me?" she said smiling.
Quatre smiled himself at that memory. It was when they had met sometime after the war, in a street café. She was her usual self, so confident, thinking she knew everything. They talked about everything, the weather, politics, she had even pointed out that his shoes made extremely tacky an understatement. When he leaned over and tried to kiss her, for a second she did nothing, and then slapped him. When he kissed her again, she slapped him again. Then after a long period of silence, she said 'Oh what the hell' and kissed him herself. Quatre tuned his mind back to the present. "Yes, you slapped me twice, then kissed me yourself the third time." "Well you didn't seem to mind, now did you?" she teased playfully.
He chuckled. "No, I suppose I didn't." This was so refreshing to him. It was like they had forgotten the situation they were in and could just reminisce like anyone else would do. "Do you remember you also said 'If I said your shoes were tacky, it would be the understatement of the century.'
She laughed out loud. "Well I stand by my decision there, those shoes were just bad. I'm glad you got rid of them." She took out a black scrunchie and put her hair in a low ponytail. "How about the time you got off at Rashid and fired him, then I had to negotiate with both of you so he'd get his job back?"
Quatre scratched his head and looked very embarrassed. "Um, yeah, I guess. Well you always were good with politics, that's how you reasoned with both of us."
"Yeah, I guess I am." She wrapped her arms around his sides as he put an arm around her shoulder. "It's funny," she said softly, "how just now we seemed to escape all that were going through just by reminiscing with each other. Thanks for being here."
He kissed her forehead softly. " I'll always be here for you."
"Miss Catalonia? The doctor will see you now," said a tall nurse. She eyed Quatre. "I'm afraid he'll have to wait out here," she added nastily.
"Why? Can't he come with me?" Dorothy protested while standing up to face the nurse. Though she had to look down because the nurse was rather short. The nurse shot her a dirty look.
"Because he just can't. Now be a good little girl and come with me." She took Dorothy's arm and tried to pull her along, but Dorothy would not go so easily.
"Just a minute madam. I don't think you have the grounds to give me that kind of attitude. Now, I suggest you let me take him with me, or else I won't be a good little girl and I won't go with you. What do you think of that," she eyed her nametag, "Dolores?"
The short stumpy nurse looked very taken back. Apparently she didn't expect that this little blondie would defy her. Since she figured attitude wouldn't win this fight, she tried reasoning with her.
"Well Miss, you don't have to give ME an attitude. I only follow orders I'm given. Apparently, the doctor has to do some examinations and he has to wait outside for that time."
"Well you could have just said that in the first place ma'am. You're the one that started with me. And fine, I'll go with you." She looked back at Quatre And meekly smiled. "I'll see you in a little bit, ok?" "Ok." He held her hand until he she walked away.
****
When Quatre had watched Dorothy being guided away, he longed to get up and go with her. To just go comfort her, and to be with her, to somehow take her pain away. He wanted nothing more than to see her happy, to help her. But, at the moment he was forced to wait here before he go and join her once again. So, he took a magazine off the rack and nervously skimmed through it. He was barely paying attention to what he was looking at; he didn't even know what the magazine was about because he was going through it so fast. When he had reached the end and still had no idea what it was about, he thrust it at the table and picked up another one. His mind was on thinking how Dorothy mouthed off to the nurse. It made him smile. It reassured him the she was the same Dorothy he knew and love. He only bothered to jerk his head up when an old lady said something to him, but he didn't catch it.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said that you're reading that magazine upside down, sir."
Realizing his mistake, Quatre blushed slightly and said, "Oh, uh thank you madam." After saying that, he put the magazine on the table and crossed his arms while waiting silently. What seemed like forever finally past and Quatre saw the same nurse.
"Mr. Winner? Miss Catalonia has requested your presence. Rather rudely requested I might add."
"Thank you," he sighed while instantly got up and dashed down the corridor. He skidded to a stop as he called back, "Which room is she in?"
The nurse looked very annoyed but called back, "Room 221."
He gave a wave and continued striding down the semi-dark hallway. He stopped when he found the room. He opened the door and was almost blinded by the bright lights streaming from the room. Quatre was instantly relieved when he found Dorothy waiting for him in a chair. He instantly took the chair beside her gave her a small kiss.
"Hey, how are you? Are you ok?"
"I think I should be asking you that question," Dorothy chuckled.
"Well, now that both of you are here, would you like me to tell you about the disease you have, Miss Catalonia?" asked the doctor, rather impatiently.
"Oh, yes. Please, go ahead."
"Alright. Now, according to my information, you have visited Guatemala once when you were six years old, correct?"
She nodded.
"And while you were there, you didn't receive a blood transfusion, correct?"
"Yes."
"But while you were there, you did spend time sleeping in an adobe hut, right?"
"Yes."
"Did you see any insects that looked like this?" he asked as he held up a picture of a brown black beetle.
"Yes, I think I did."
"Then I can only conclude that you were bitten by the Triatoma protracta. It's classified as the Western Conenose, or more commonly known as the kissing bug. It is a species of assassin bug that dwells in South and Central America. It bites its victim on the mouth, eyelids, or ears while they are sleeping. Unfortunately, while they feed on blood, they leave their feces on the victim, and the victim can unconsciously rub them into the bite. That can transmit the disease. The only other way to contract it is through infected blood. Since you have never had a blood transfusion, then this insect must have bitten you. I wonder why you did not develop acute stages of the disease since you were young while you caught it. It usually leads to swelling of the brain in young children, but that didn't happen in your case. The chronic stage of this disease occurs ten to twenty years after the infection. I must tell you, that for this stage of the disease, there is no medicine or cure."
All of this hit Dorothy like a ton of bricks. Her grip on Quatre's hand tightened. "No cure?"
"No. The only treatment is to manage the symptoms. And Miss Catalonia, you will need a heart transplant. These are the most serious symptoms, cardiac problems."
"But, will I die from this?" she questioned unsteadily.
He let out a long sigh. "I'm afraid that I can't give you a definite answer. But I can say that it is a distinct possibility. Other symptoms associated with the chronic stage of this virus include enlarged parts of the digestive system, so we have to be careful and watch out for that. I don't recommend any strenuous travel, and one other thing."
"What?"
"I sorry to say, but you can never have any children. If you did, you would pass the disease onto them, and it is fatal for infants. It can lead to swelling of the brain."
This was a very painful hit on Dorothy. How she had always wanted to start a family, with Quatre. But that dream was dashed, destroyed. Quatre squeezed her hand harder when he saw the look of despair creep over her face. He decided to speak up.
"You will be able to find her a heart transplant, won't you?"
"Yes, I'm confident that we can. But, like with most things, it will take some time. So I recommend, Miss Catalonia, that you rest until we do. Don't do anything strenuous, get plenty of rest and take it easy. If you should have any violent chest pains or anything else like that, come back and see us."
"Thank you doctor," she said with her voice quivering. "If that's all, I would like to leave now."
"Yes, you can go. Have a nice day."
'Why do they always say that when they know perfectly well that I won't,' she thought bitterly. But, she put on her best fake polite smile and walked out the door, still holding Quatre's hand. He immediately grew concerned as he saw how depressed she looked. It just broke his heart hearing all that back in the office. He knew very well that one day she would d to start a family, but now that was out the question. He let go of her hand and put his arm around her drooping shoulders.
"Dorothy?"
"Huh?"
"Are you alright?"
"No, actually I'm not."
He held her a little tighter. "Listen, I'm here for you. I'll always be here. If you want to talk about anything, just say so, I'll listen."
"Can we go somewhere else and talk?"
"Of course, where would you like to go?"
"I really don't care, anywhere is fine."
"How about the park? I heard it's really beautiful this time of year."
"That's fine."
Once the couple finally reached the park, they first took a little stroll. What was really spectacular was the fact that the cherry blossoms were in bloom. In an attempt to cheer Dorothy up, Quatre took her along the path with all the trees with the flowers.
"Dorothy, look. The cherry blossoms are blooming. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Wonderful," she said without much emotion. She had always used to love to see the cherry blossoms, but somehow now she was seeing them with a little different perspective. She was thinking how this could be the last time she'd ever see them. She also remembered to when her father took her to see them every year when she was little. He always caught one and put it in her hair. But that was before he died when she was almost 7. The day before her birthday was when his shuttle exploded. She had even watched it on TV as it shattered all of her young life. Remembering all of this, she felt a hot tear force its way down her cheek.
"Dorothy?" Quatre asked concerned as he saw her starting to cry. He was worried that he did something to upset her.
"Can we go sit down? We can talk once I sit down."
"Ok."
So, as they walked down the path, they soon found a park bench. Upon that, they sat and for a moment all was silent. That is until Dorothy broke the silence first.
"It was so hard to listen to all of that. I don't know if I've even processed it all yet." She kept looking forward out to the horizon. With her sunglasses on, her eyes were shielded. She sighed. "And then I start thinking. My life goes flashing in front of my eyes. I see all the things I did, the good and bad, and the bad seems to pop up more than the good."
"Dorothy, please don't."
"Wait, let me finished." He closed his mouth and listened. "You see, I know it partially wasn't my fault, and then again it partially was. I wasn't really a good person for long time. Being raised by my grandfather, and being taught to love war, I suppose accounts for something. But I don't blame my actions solely on that. I had, choices, a free will, and I used them the wrong way. I take responsibility for everything I did during the war. And I know you do too."
"Dorothy?"
"Yes?"
"I don't think you should blame yourself. Like I told you, you are kind, kinder than I am. You were just afraid of kindness. But you've embraced it. You've grown to be such a wonderful person."
She was silent for a moment, before she said "Thank you. But there's something I want to ask you. Well, more of choice type thing."
He looked confused. What could she mean? "Alright, what is it?"
"Well there is something we need to discuss. As you know, I can't have children. If I did, then the baby would certainly die."
Quatre was so pained hearing this again. He knew how much it hurt her too. But she was right, they had to discuss it. "Yes Dorothy, I know we can't have kids."
"And I know you wanted to start a family just as much as I did.."
"Yes, I know we can't do that now.."
"Well that's the thing. I said I can't have children, but you still can. This illness is a terrible burden to you, and it isn't fair that you should have to deal with this, so I'm giving you an option." She turned to face him. "If you want, stay, but only if you want to. If you want to leave, I won't stop you, I'll understand. If you want to meet someone else and start a family with her, I'll be happy for you. You don't have to give up having a family for me." She turned away and looked straight ahead again. "If you want to leave, you can do so. Just do it now."
Quatre was sitting next to her gawking. A small tear slid down his face. He was in disbelief from what he heard. Leave her? Start a family with someone else? No, how could she even say that? She was all he ever wanted, only her. He loved her so much, and her being sick didn't change that one bit. He turned his head to stare at his feet. Then he put his head in his hands as he started to cry.
"Please, tell me you didn't just say that."
"Quatre?" she put a hand on his shoulder. She took off her sunglasses and put them away. "Quatre, please. Don't cry. I was only being considerate of you, to try to think of what you wanted.."
Quatre lifted his head to look into her eyes. He stared into those soft misty blue for a moment with his teary blue-green eyes. Then, in the next instant, he grabbed her and held her so tightly that they both could barely breath. He released her a little to be able to plant a deep passionate kiss upon her beautiful lips. He then took one hand and put it to her face. Shakily, he started to speak.
"Dorothy, forgive me but are you insane? How could you ever think I would want to leave you?"
"Well, Quatre, I was only thinking of what you wanted.."
"No, NO!" He took her head in his hands, "Please, please don't say that. I don't want anything else except you, do you understand? I love you, Dorothy. I love you so much, and just because you're sick, it doesn't change a thing. I don't want a family with someone else if I couldn't be with you. I'd die without you, do you understand?"
She was speechless. She couldn't even imagine that he'd be this upset. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "Quatre, please, calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I was only being fair to you." She turned her head away and mumbled to herself. "Maybe it'd be better if I was dead."
Quatre hoped he didn't what he thought he heard. "What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"You said something, but I couldn't make it out. Please, what did you say?"
"I was only mumbling to myself, thinking out loud. Really, that's nothing to get upset about."
"But," Quatre stopped on his breath for a moment. "I thought I heard you say something about it being better if you were dead. Please tell me I didn't hear you say that."
"So what if I said that! You don't have to make a big deal about it."
Again, he was gawking at her. "Dorothy, I hope you didn't mean that."
"Huh?"
He was starting to sob. "Did you mean what you said, that you wanted to die?"
"Well," she looked down, " well I don't even know anymore. What's the point, when I'm going to die anyway?!"
He held her in a tight embrace. His arms were trembling. His whole body was shuddering with fear. A deep fear that pierced his heart and blackened his soul. "Please, don't talk like that."
"I just don't know what I'm doing. I just never expected this. I mean, it's so much at once. First, I have a disease, then I need a heart transplant, then I can't have children, then there's no cure for it and I could die, and. and. I . I.," She buried her face in his sleeve and wept. He held her close to him and stroked her hair. The only thing he wanted to do right now was take away her pain. Take away this terrible disease that stole so much away from her. They loosened their grip on each other enough so Quatre could wipe the tears away from her eyes.
"Dorothy, I know this is a lot to deal with, but you don't have to deal with it alone. Please, remember that I'm here, I'm always here for you. I'll stay with you and never leave you, never. You are my life, nothing else matters to me. You are my whole world. I love you, more than anything. never forget that."
"I love you too, Quatre," she sobbed, "I don't know what I'd do without you. You are my love." she paused. "I.I.wanted to say.thank you, for everything. Hey," she motioned to the dusky sky, "It's getting dark. Wanna take me home now?
He smiled as they stood up and put their arms around each other. "You don't need to tell me twice."
Author's Note: Here is the next part. I think I like the way it's coming along, but I'd really like input, so please read and review!
Love will not Die
Part II
By, Silver Fox
Dorothy once again found herself inside the waiting room of a medical facility. Only this time, two things were different. She was in a very large hospital waiting room for one thing, and the second thing was that she wasn't alone this time. Her valiant knight in shining armor Quatre was there with her, feeling the pain with her. He was always at her side, holding her and her spirit up. The fact that she had this disease made him cry every night. She knew because she could hear him sobbing into his pillow, praying to God that she would live and be ok. Every time she heard this, Dorothy cried herself. She could feel the misery and anguish that he was feeling. Anything that the felt, it seemed like she could experience it ten times worse. At the moment, he was just sitting there and holding her hand. She felt that she had to say something. He looked as if he were in hell.
"Quatre?" she asked meekly.
"Huh, what is it?"
"I'm sorry for having to put you through this."
"Putting me through what?"
"All this pain and suffering. You really shouldn't have to bear this, but I am glad you're here." She put her head on his shoulder and they both let their eyes stray. " Do you remember the first time you tried to kiss me?" she said smiling.
Quatre smiled himself at that memory. It was when they had met sometime after the war, in a street café. She was her usual self, so confident, thinking she knew everything. They talked about everything, the weather, politics, she had even pointed out that his shoes made extremely tacky an understatement. When he leaned over and tried to kiss her, for a second she did nothing, and then slapped him. When he kissed her again, she slapped him again. Then after a long period of silence, she said 'Oh what the hell' and kissed him herself. Quatre tuned his mind back to the present. "Yes, you slapped me twice, then kissed me yourself the third time." "Well you didn't seem to mind, now did you?" she teased playfully.
He chuckled. "No, I suppose I didn't." This was so refreshing to him. It was like they had forgotten the situation they were in and could just reminisce like anyone else would do. "Do you remember you also said 'If I said your shoes were tacky, it would be the understatement of the century.'
She laughed out loud. "Well I stand by my decision there, those shoes were just bad. I'm glad you got rid of them." She took out a black scrunchie and put her hair in a low ponytail. "How about the time you got off at Rashid and fired him, then I had to negotiate with both of you so he'd get his job back?"
Quatre scratched his head and looked very embarrassed. "Um, yeah, I guess. Well you always were good with politics, that's how you reasoned with both of us."
"Yeah, I guess I am." She wrapped her arms around his sides as he put an arm around her shoulder. "It's funny," she said softly, "how just now we seemed to escape all that were going through just by reminiscing with each other. Thanks for being here."
He kissed her forehead softly. " I'll always be here for you."
"Miss Catalonia? The doctor will see you now," said a tall nurse. She eyed Quatre. "I'm afraid he'll have to wait out here," she added nastily.
"Why? Can't he come with me?" Dorothy protested while standing up to face the nurse. Though she had to look down because the nurse was rather short. The nurse shot her a dirty look.
"Because he just can't. Now be a good little girl and come with me." She took Dorothy's arm and tried to pull her along, but Dorothy would not go so easily.
"Just a minute madam. I don't think you have the grounds to give me that kind of attitude. Now, I suggest you let me take him with me, or else I won't be a good little girl and I won't go with you. What do you think of that," she eyed her nametag, "Dolores?"
The short stumpy nurse looked very taken back. Apparently she didn't expect that this little blondie would defy her. Since she figured attitude wouldn't win this fight, she tried reasoning with her.
"Well Miss, you don't have to give ME an attitude. I only follow orders I'm given. Apparently, the doctor has to do some examinations and he has to wait outside for that time."
"Well you could have just said that in the first place ma'am. You're the one that started with me. And fine, I'll go with you." She looked back at Quatre And meekly smiled. "I'll see you in a little bit, ok?" "Ok." He held her hand until he she walked away.
****
When Quatre had watched Dorothy being guided away, he longed to get up and go with her. To just go comfort her, and to be with her, to somehow take her pain away. He wanted nothing more than to see her happy, to help her. But, at the moment he was forced to wait here before he go and join her once again. So, he took a magazine off the rack and nervously skimmed through it. He was barely paying attention to what he was looking at; he didn't even know what the magazine was about because he was going through it so fast. When he had reached the end and still had no idea what it was about, he thrust it at the table and picked up another one. His mind was on thinking how Dorothy mouthed off to the nurse. It made him smile. It reassured him the she was the same Dorothy he knew and love. He only bothered to jerk his head up when an old lady said something to him, but he didn't catch it.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said that you're reading that magazine upside down, sir."
Realizing his mistake, Quatre blushed slightly and said, "Oh, uh thank you madam." After saying that, he put the magazine on the table and crossed his arms while waiting silently. What seemed like forever finally past and Quatre saw the same nurse.
"Mr. Winner? Miss Catalonia has requested your presence. Rather rudely requested I might add."
"Thank you," he sighed while instantly got up and dashed down the corridor. He skidded to a stop as he called back, "Which room is she in?"
The nurse looked very annoyed but called back, "Room 221."
He gave a wave and continued striding down the semi-dark hallway. He stopped when he found the room. He opened the door and was almost blinded by the bright lights streaming from the room. Quatre was instantly relieved when he found Dorothy waiting for him in a chair. He instantly took the chair beside her gave her a small kiss.
"Hey, how are you? Are you ok?"
"I think I should be asking you that question," Dorothy chuckled.
"Well, now that both of you are here, would you like me to tell you about the disease you have, Miss Catalonia?" asked the doctor, rather impatiently.
"Oh, yes. Please, go ahead."
"Alright. Now, according to my information, you have visited Guatemala once when you were six years old, correct?"
She nodded.
"And while you were there, you didn't receive a blood transfusion, correct?"
"Yes."
"But while you were there, you did spend time sleeping in an adobe hut, right?"
"Yes."
"Did you see any insects that looked like this?" he asked as he held up a picture of a brown black beetle.
"Yes, I think I did."
"Then I can only conclude that you were bitten by the Triatoma protracta. It's classified as the Western Conenose, or more commonly known as the kissing bug. It is a species of assassin bug that dwells in South and Central America. It bites its victim on the mouth, eyelids, or ears while they are sleeping. Unfortunately, while they feed on blood, they leave their feces on the victim, and the victim can unconsciously rub them into the bite. That can transmit the disease. The only other way to contract it is through infected blood. Since you have never had a blood transfusion, then this insect must have bitten you. I wonder why you did not develop acute stages of the disease since you were young while you caught it. It usually leads to swelling of the brain in young children, but that didn't happen in your case. The chronic stage of this disease occurs ten to twenty years after the infection. I must tell you, that for this stage of the disease, there is no medicine or cure."
All of this hit Dorothy like a ton of bricks. Her grip on Quatre's hand tightened. "No cure?"
"No. The only treatment is to manage the symptoms. And Miss Catalonia, you will need a heart transplant. These are the most serious symptoms, cardiac problems."
"But, will I die from this?" she questioned unsteadily.
He let out a long sigh. "I'm afraid that I can't give you a definite answer. But I can say that it is a distinct possibility. Other symptoms associated with the chronic stage of this virus include enlarged parts of the digestive system, so we have to be careful and watch out for that. I don't recommend any strenuous travel, and one other thing."
"What?"
"I sorry to say, but you can never have any children. If you did, you would pass the disease onto them, and it is fatal for infants. It can lead to swelling of the brain."
This was a very painful hit on Dorothy. How she had always wanted to start a family, with Quatre. But that dream was dashed, destroyed. Quatre squeezed her hand harder when he saw the look of despair creep over her face. He decided to speak up.
"You will be able to find her a heart transplant, won't you?"
"Yes, I'm confident that we can. But, like with most things, it will take some time. So I recommend, Miss Catalonia, that you rest until we do. Don't do anything strenuous, get plenty of rest and take it easy. If you should have any violent chest pains or anything else like that, come back and see us."
"Thank you doctor," she said with her voice quivering. "If that's all, I would like to leave now."
"Yes, you can go. Have a nice day."
'Why do they always say that when they know perfectly well that I won't,' she thought bitterly. But, she put on her best fake polite smile and walked out the door, still holding Quatre's hand. He immediately grew concerned as he saw how depressed she looked. It just broke his heart hearing all that back in the office. He knew very well that one day she would d to start a family, but now that was out the question. He let go of her hand and put his arm around her drooping shoulders.
"Dorothy?"
"Huh?"
"Are you alright?"
"No, actually I'm not."
He held her a little tighter. "Listen, I'm here for you. I'll always be here. If you want to talk about anything, just say so, I'll listen."
"Can we go somewhere else and talk?"
"Of course, where would you like to go?"
"I really don't care, anywhere is fine."
"How about the park? I heard it's really beautiful this time of year."
"That's fine."
Once the couple finally reached the park, they first took a little stroll. What was really spectacular was the fact that the cherry blossoms were in bloom. In an attempt to cheer Dorothy up, Quatre took her along the path with all the trees with the flowers.
"Dorothy, look. The cherry blossoms are blooming. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Wonderful," she said without much emotion. She had always used to love to see the cherry blossoms, but somehow now she was seeing them with a little different perspective. She was thinking how this could be the last time she'd ever see them. She also remembered to when her father took her to see them every year when she was little. He always caught one and put it in her hair. But that was before he died when she was almost 7. The day before her birthday was when his shuttle exploded. She had even watched it on TV as it shattered all of her young life. Remembering all of this, she felt a hot tear force its way down her cheek.
"Dorothy?" Quatre asked concerned as he saw her starting to cry. He was worried that he did something to upset her.
"Can we go sit down? We can talk once I sit down."
"Ok."
So, as they walked down the path, they soon found a park bench. Upon that, they sat and for a moment all was silent. That is until Dorothy broke the silence first.
"It was so hard to listen to all of that. I don't know if I've even processed it all yet." She kept looking forward out to the horizon. With her sunglasses on, her eyes were shielded. She sighed. "And then I start thinking. My life goes flashing in front of my eyes. I see all the things I did, the good and bad, and the bad seems to pop up more than the good."
"Dorothy, please don't."
"Wait, let me finished." He closed his mouth and listened. "You see, I know it partially wasn't my fault, and then again it partially was. I wasn't really a good person for long time. Being raised by my grandfather, and being taught to love war, I suppose accounts for something. But I don't blame my actions solely on that. I had, choices, a free will, and I used them the wrong way. I take responsibility for everything I did during the war. And I know you do too."
"Dorothy?"
"Yes?"
"I don't think you should blame yourself. Like I told you, you are kind, kinder than I am. You were just afraid of kindness. But you've embraced it. You've grown to be such a wonderful person."
She was silent for a moment, before she said "Thank you. But there's something I want to ask you. Well, more of choice type thing."
He looked confused. What could she mean? "Alright, what is it?"
"Well there is something we need to discuss. As you know, I can't have children. If I did, then the baby would certainly die."
Quatre was so pained hearing this again. He knew how much it hurt her too. But she was right, they had to discuss it. "Yes Dorothy, I know we can't have kids."
"And I know you wanted to start a family just as much as I did.."
"Yes, I know we can't do that now.."
"Well that's the thing. I said I can't have children, but you still can. This illness is a terrible burden to you, and it isn't fair that you should have to deal with this, so I'm giving you an option." She turned to face him. "If you want, stay, but only if you want to. If you want to leave, I won't stop you, I'll understand. If you want to meet someone else and start a family with her, I'll be happy for you. You don't have to give up having a family for me." She turned away and looked straight ahead again. "If you want to leave, you can do so. Just do it now."
Quatre was sitting next to her gawking. A small tear slid down his face. He was in disbelief from what he heard. Leave her? Start a family with someone else? No, how could she even say that? She was all he ever wanted, only her. He loved her so much, and her being sick didn't change that one bit. He turned his head to stare at his feet. Then he put his head in his hands as he started to cry.
"Please, tell me you didn't just say that."
"Quatre?" she put a hand on his shoulder. She took off her sunglasses and put them away. "Quatre, please. Don't cry. I was only being considerate of you, to try to think of what you wanted.."
Quatre lifted his head to look into her eyes. He stared into those soft misty blue for a moment with his teary blue-green eyes. Then, in the next instant, he grabbed her and held her so tightly that they both could barely breath. He released her a little to be able to plant a deep passionate kiss upon her beautiful lips. He then took one hand and put it to her face. Shakily, he started to speak.
"Dorothy, forgive me but are you insane? How could you ever think I would want to leave you?"
"Well, Quatre, I was only thinking of what you wanted.."
"No, NO!" He took her head in his hands, "Please, please don't say that. I don't want anything else except you, do you understand? I love you, Dorothy. I love you so much, and just because you're sick, it doesn't change a thing. I don't want a family with someone else if I couldn't be with you. I'd die without you, do you understand?"
She was speechless. She couldn't even imagine that he'd be this upset. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "Quatre, please, calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I was only being fair to you." She turned her head away and mumbled to herself. "Maybe it'd be better if I was dead."
Quatre hoped he didn't what he thought he heard. "What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"You said something, but I couldn't make it out. Please, what did you say?"
"I was only mumbling to myself, thinking out loud. Really, that's nothing to get upset about."
"But," Quatre stopped on his breath for a moment. "I thought I heard you say something about it being better if you were dead. Please tell me I didn't hear you say that."
"So what if I said that! You don't have to make a big deal about it."
Again, he was gawking at her. "Dorothy, I hope you didn't mean that."
"Huh?"
He was starting to sob. "Did you mean what you said, that you wanted to die?"
"Well," she looked down, " well I don't even know anymore. What's the point, when I'm going to die anyway?!"
He held her in a tight embrace. His arms were trembling. His whole body was shuddering with fear. A deep fear that pierced his heart and blackened his soul. "Please, don't talk like that."
"I just don't know what I'm doing. I just never expected this. I mean, it's so much at once. First, I have a disease, then I need a heart transplant, then I can't have children, then there's no cure for it and I could die, and. and. I . I.," She buried her face in his sleeve and wept. He held her close to him and stroked her hair. The only thing he wanted to do right now was take away her pain. Take away this terrible disease that stole so much away from her. They loosened their grip on each other enough so Quatre could wipe the tears away from her eyes.
"Dorothy, I know this is a lot to deal with, but you don't have to deal with it alone. Please, remember that I'm here, I'm always here for you. I'll stay with you and never leave you, never. You are my life, nothing else matters to me. You are my whole world. I love you, more than anything. never forget that."
"I love you too, Quatre," she sobbed, "I don't know what I'd do without you. You are my love." she paused. "I.I.wanted to say.thank you, for everything. Hey," she motioned to the dusky sky, "It's getting dark. Wanna take me home now?
He smiled as they stood up and put their arms around each other. "You don't need to tell me twice."