A/N: I own jack sh*t! This is the third chapter of Nintendo Jeopardy, hope
you like it.
(Theme plays, we see Shyguy shaking his head)
Shyguy: Welcome back to Nintendo Jeopardy. We've had an exciting and action- packed first round, as Luigi and Mario won't stop trying to kill each other.
Mario: I'm-o the better one-o!
Luigi: No, I'm-a the better!
Shyguy: Fantastic. and, Captain Falcon's also here! Our Double Jeopardy categories are.
C. Falcon: Not so fast, Shyguy!
Shyguy, Y'know, I really thought that was going to work.
C. Falcon: Well, you were wrong, you rogue! I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
Shyguy: How about you don't say it?
C. Falcon: What's the difference between you and a faisy dodger?
Shyguy: I don't know. What's the difference?
C. Falcon: One's a faisy-ducker. I can't remember the rest, but I stole your condoms.
Shyguy: Fascinating. Do you kiss Samus with that mouth?
C. Falcon: No, but I did something else to her with this mouth!
Shyguy: Fine. OK, here are our second round categories. We have: Famous Books, Movie Titles, Vegetables that end in 'arrot, Cookies, and Show and Tell. That's where I show you something, and you tell me what it is. Continuing on with Potpourri, and Will This Hurt If You Inject It Intravenously? I am compelled to let Luigi go first because he has the most points. Oh, I never did mention the scores, did I? Let's see.Luigi's in first, with a commanding lead of 0. Mario in second with a score of -5000, and Captain Falcon's in last, the loser, with -25,000 points. Your board, Luigi.
Luigi: Hmm. I'll take-a "Cookies" for 500-a, please.
Shyguy: Fine. Ahem. "This is a crumbly thing. It's this category. It's a cookie. Please, someone just say "What are cookies?" For my sake?" Anyone?
C. Falcon: (Ding) Uh. I don't know. Um. What are. turnips? I dunno.
Shyguy: You're an idiot. Anyone else? (Timer buzzes) The answer was of course, a cookie. A cookie. OK, Mario, I'd let you go, but since this show has to stay within the limits of a half-hour, I'm letting Captain Falcon choose.
C. Falcon: Show me your moves! I, uh, hehehehehehe. I, uh, hahahahaha! I, uh, hehehehehe, I, uh, hahahahaha!
Shyguy: We'll try "Show and Tell" for 600. Here, I show you something, and you tell me what it is.
Mario: A guy-o in a robe-o!
Shyguy: No, Mario, I'm not the object. (Reaches under podium. It's a star rod.) Here it is.
Luigi: A leather glove!
Shyguy: No.
C. Falcon: Yes, it's a, what do you call them. You use them to heat rooms. You find them a lot in big auditoriums. They're kind of old, they're made of porcelain. I don't know.
Shyguy: You mean an oil heater?
C. Falcon: Exactly!
Shyguy: No. It's a friggin' star rod, people!
Mario: Now you listen to me, you back off, Shyguy! You wouldn't have known had you not had it written on the card in front of you! You see that, this guy reads off cards!
Shyguy: Whatever!(Outside the Nintendo Jeopardy studios, at the Smash Hotel.We see Peach standing outside a door that reads "Items' Closet: Authorized Personnel Only)
Peach: I'm not authorized. Luckily Toad has keys. (pulls Toad out)
Toad: I'm ready.
Peach: OK! (Toad braces while Peach picks him up. She uses Toad's head as a battering ram. The door smashes inwards after a few smashes. Toad, with several eye tics and a bloodied mushroom, resumes his position up Peach's skirt. V_V Lucky bastard.) This will come in handy. Hehe. (Peach pulls out a ray gun.)
Shyguy:(Back in the Nintendo Jeopardy studios.)Well, I guess it's time for Final Jeopardy. so let's look at our (Peach rushes in with the ray gun to Toad's head. Toad is scrambling to get away, and the audience gasps. Shyguy shakes his head and pulls out a two-way radio.) Well, lucky me? I knew this was going to happen. Luckily, I have back-up.(Shyguy activates radio. On the roof, we see Falco scratching his butt. A crackling in his pocket goes. He lifts a two-way radio out.)Falco? We've got a breach in Zone 4.
Falco: Roger that. (He picks up a Super Scope and scopes it. We see there's a hole punched in the roof, so Falco can fire.) Target acquired.
Shyguy: OK. (He smiles in readiness.)
Falco: (He charges the Super Scope fully. The gun fires the blast. The huge energy ball hits Peach. Peach flies away, but not before dropping her ray gun. Shyguy picks up the ray gun.) Threat eliminated.
Shyguy: Thank you Falco. (Looks at ray gun.) This will definitely come in handy. OK. Today's Final Jeopardy category is. "Things you like." (Shyguy aims gun at contestants) OK, all you have to do is write something you like. It's pretty simple, because you're writing something you like. It could be anything, so let's do this. Let's see what you've written. Luigi, you wrote: Mario. You hate Mario. It's sad. (Shyguy shoots and Luigi is immediately incinerated.) Mario, you wrote: Bowser. Now come on. We know you hate Bowser.(Shyguy also shoots Mario, who promptly flies away.) And lastly, Captain Falcon. You wrote: Shyguy. That's amazing. Something you like is me?
C. Falcon.: I'm hard on you, man, but it's all in fun, right?
Shyguy: I'm touched. Let's see your wager. "sucks Daisy's" All right, I'm not going to finish THAT.
C. Falcon: Hahaha!
Shyguy: Sad. (shoots Falcon, but Falcon Matrix-dives and dodges the blast. The shot hits Ness as he's walking to the bathroom. Ness taunts.)
Ness: OK!
Shyguy: Well, that's it for Nintendo Jeopardy, and as usual, 3 charities have been deprived of money. Good day.
(Show ends as Shyguy drink a beer and Falcon doing his taunt.)
(Theme plays, we see Shyguy shaking his head)
Shyguy: Welcome back to Nintendo Jeopardy. We've had an exciting and action- packed first round, as Luigi and Mario won't stop trying to kill each other.
Mario: I'm-o the better one-o!
Luigi: No, I'm-a the better!
Shyguy: Fantastic. and, Captain Falcon's also here! Our Double Jeopardy categories are.
C. Falcon: Not so fast, Shyguy!
Shyguy, Y'know, I really thought that was going to work.
C. Falcon: Well, you were wrong, you rogue! I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
Shyguy: How about you don't say it?
C. Falcon: What's the difference between you and a faisy dodger?
Shyguy: I don't know. What's the difference?
C. Falcon: One's a faisy-ducker. I can't remember the rest, but I stole your condoms.
Shyguy: Fascinating. Do you kiss Samus with that mouth?
C. Falcon: No, but I did something else to her with this mouth!
Shyguy: Fine. OK, here are our second round categories. We have: Famous Books, Movie Titles, Vegetables that end in 'arrot, Cookies, and Show and Tell. That's where I show you something, and you tell me what it is. Continuing on with Potpourri, and Will This Hurt If You Inject It Intravenously? I am compelled to let Luigi go first because he has the most points. Oh, I never did mention the scores, did I? Let's see.Luigi's in first, with a commanding lead of 0. Mario in second with a score of -5000, and Captain Falcon's in last, the loser, with -25,000 points. Your board, Luigi.
Luigi: Hmm. I'll take-a "Cookies" for 500-a, please.
Shyguy: Fine. Ahem. "This is a crumbly thing. It's this category. It's a cookie. Please, someone just say "What are cookies?" For my sake?" Anyone?
C. Falcon: (Ding) Uh. I don't know. Um. What are. turnips? I dunno.
Shyguy: You're an idiot. Anyone else? (Timer buzzes) The answer was of course, a cookie. A cookie. OK, Mario, I'd let you go, but since this show has to stay within the limits of a half-hour, I'm letting Captain Falcon choose.
C. Falcon: Show me your moves! I, uh, hehehehehehe. I, uh, hahahahaha! I, uh, hehehehehe, I, uh, hahahahaha!
Shyguy: We'll try "Show and Tell" for 600. Here, I show you something, and you tell me what it is.
Mario: A guy-o in a robe-o!
Shyguy: No, Mario, I'm not the object. (Reaches under podium. It's a star rod.) Here it is.
Luigi: A leather glove!
Shyguy: No.
C. Falcon: Yes, it's a, what do you call them. You use them to heat rooms. You find them a lot in big auditoriums. They're kind of old, they're made of porcelain. I don't know.
Shyguy: You mean an oil heater?
C. Falcon: Exactly!
Shyguy: No. It's a friggin' star rod, people!
Mario: Now you listen to me, you back off, Shyguy! You wouldn't have known had you not had it written on the card in front of you! You see that, this guy reads off cards!
Shyguy: Whatever!(Outside the Nintendo Jeopardy studios, at the Smash Hotel.We see Peach standing outside a door that reads "Items' Closet: Authorized Personnel Only)
Peach: I'm not authorized. Luckily Toad has keys. (pulls Toad out)
Toad: I'm ready.
Peach: OK! (Toad braces while Peach picks him up. She uses Toad's head as a battering ram. The door smashes inwards after a few smashes. Toad, with several eye tics and a bloodied mushroom, resumes his position up Peach's skirt. V_V Lucky bastard.) This will come in handy. Hehe. (Peach pulls out a ray gun.)
Shyguy:(Back in the Nintendo Jeopardy studios.)Well, I guess it's time for Final Jeopardy. so let's look at our (Peach rushes in with the ray gun to Toad's head. Toad is scrambling to get away, and the audience gasps. Shyguy shakes his head and pulls out a two-way radio.) Well, lucky me? I knew this was going to happen. Luckily, I have back-up.(Shyguy activates radio. On the roof, we see Falco scratching his butt. A crackling in his pocket goes. He lifts a two-way radio out.)Falco? We've got a breach in Zone 4.
Falco: Roger that. (He picks up a Super Scope and scopes it. We see there's a hole punched in the roof, so Falco can fire.) Target acquired.
Shyguy: OK. (He smiles in readiness.)
Falco: (He charges the Super Scope fully. The gun fires the blast. The huge energy ball hits Peach. Peach flies away, but not before dropping her ray gun. Shyguy picks up the ray gun.) Threat eliminated.
Shyguy: Thank you Falco. (Looks at ray gun.) This will definitely come in handy. OK. Today's Final Jeopardy category is. "Things you like." (Shyguy aims gun at contestants) OK, all you have to do is write something you like. It's pretty simple, because you're writing something you like. It could be anything, so let's do this. Let's see what you've written. Luigi, you wrote: Mario. You hate Mario. It's sad. (Shyguy shoots and Luigi is immediately incinerated.) Mario, you wrote: Bowser. Now come on. We know you hate Bowser.(Shyguy also shoots Mario, who promptly flies away.) And lastly, Captain Falcon. You wrote: Shyguy. That's amazing. Something you like is me?
C. Falcon.: I'm hard on you, man, but it's all in fun, right?
Shyguy: I'm touched. Let's see your wager. "sucks Daisy's" All right, I'm not going to finish THAT.
C. Falcon: Hahaha!
Shyguy: Sad. (shoots Falcon, but Falcon Matrix-dives and dodges the blast. The shot hits Ness as he's walking to the bathroom. Ness taunts.)
Ness: OK!
Shyguy: Well, that's it for Nintendo Jeopardy, and as usual, 3 charities have been deprived of money. Good day.
(Show ends as Shyguy drink a beer and Falcon doing his taunt.)