Blitzball in Illumino

* * * DISCALIMER: I don't own Blitzball all credit goes to the creators of Final Fantasy and I don't own any of the chars in this they all belong to their respective owners. Basically nothing belongs to me apart from: the Somniators team, the band and the setting. oh and the commentators are also mine. * * *

* * ROUND 1: LOTR vs. BOTR (soundtrack: Otherworld) * *

Frodo sat there on one of the benches lining the sides of the dome. His eyes were closed as he rested his head against the wall. His heart pounding in his chest. The adrenalin already coursing through his veins. Hearing the band start up he opened his eyes and slowly got to his feet. His heart pounding harder than before. Pounding along to the beat of Bryn's drums.

Walking slowly to the small platform on the edge of the dome he looked out into the crowd. The crowd cheered as they saw the small hobbit waving, holding the blitzball in his other hand. Across on the other side of the dome a small creature glared at him. Frodo could just make out the face of the boggie.

Frito could see his counterpart watching him and he glared back in defiance. Putting his fingers up at Frodo before replacing them back up his nose.

As the two of them watched on shards of energy were sucked into the middle of the dome. Electricity flickering at its edges as it began to form into a huge glowing sphere. An explosion of energy caused the crowd to roar and Frodo to be pushed back slightly on his platform. He stepped forward again, watching the dome rapidly filling with water.

Frodo streaked through the water, cannon balling into Goodgulf and knocking the ball from his hands. Glancing around for a moment, trying to find an opening to throw the ball.

Aragorn swam out of the way of his mark only to have Eorache follow and ram her elbow home into his stomach. His eyes went wild as the air was forced from his lungs as he began to sink.

Frito grabbed Frodo from behind, trying to wrestle the ball from his grasp, biting down on his counterparts shoulder. Frodo screamed silently in the water. Releasing the ball moments before it fell into the strong hands of Bjorn. He grinned widely at Arrowroot swimming towards him. Arrowroot stopped short as he saw the grin on the larger mans face. Bjorn's face shimmered for a moment, his fangs sliding out of his mouth, from the face of a bear. Arrowroots shrill scream could be heard throughout the stadium as he paddled frantically away. Hurling the ball, sending it careening passed Arrowroot's retreating form, Bjorn bellowed before following his mark. Frodo slipped through the water after the ball, grabbing it before the black cloak of the Nozdrul got close enough to reach it. Rolling forward he passed it to the Witch King. The gauntleted hand of the black rider closed around the ball a moment before Dildo slammed his shoulder into the Nazguls' cowl. The ball plunged down before Frito's fingers finally clutched it. Pulling it in close to his chest he used his free arm to steady himself as his momentum turned the small boggie upside down. Spinning slowly he released the blitzball- sending it hurling towards Eorache near the edge of the dome. Eowyn's gaze snapped and locked onto Eorache with a wry smile. She swam quickly towards the larger woman.

The crowd were all standing. Cheering on their favourite teams. Bombadil passed a joint back to Tim, his newfound friend. The two of them looked almost identical and earlier Arwen had even mistaken the Tim for Bombadil. She was now sitting a couple of seats away from them. Taking up three seats by herself due to the casts on her leg.

"That's some good shit." Bombadil grinned as his new friend took a drag on the joint and then passed it on to a younger, dark skinned man in front of him.

"Shorty loves this shit." He coughed, his voice sounding incredibly squeaky. He took another drag of the joint, blowing a smoke ring towards the dome. "You want some, bitch?" He screeched, turning to Arwen.

"Bitch?! How dare you!" She screamed, enraged, throwing her frying pan at Shorty's head. Shorty looked dazed for a moment after the pan struck. Wobbling slightly before breaking out into a grin and sniggering. Shorty passed the joint back to Bombadil. Arwen growled and reached forward to grab Shorty. Her cast hit the floor between the two seats, pivoting her forward she toppled over the chair. She went flying, hitting every row of chairs as she went down, only managing to grab hold of the comb in Shorty's hair. Her leg caught on one of the chairs and she was bounced bank onto the seat behind in time to see Eowyn tackle Eorache.

Eowyn slammed into the much larger form of Eorache causing her to drop the ball before hurtling through the force field that contained the sphere of water. Eorache roared as she was propelled out into the crowd in a small shower of water.

"Oh shit!" Arwen screamed as Eorache's over sized opera-singers arse came flying towards her. By now her cast had become lodged below the seat in front and her frantic struggles to get out of the way were only making it worse. There was a loud crunch as Eorache landed on top of the elf maiden and then muffled screams of pain from under the enormous Swedish Roi- Tanner. Eowyn watched from the dome. A smug look spread across her face at the sight of the two other women: especially the sight of her love rival being crushed alive.

The ball shot passed Dildo and into the back of the net. The scoreboard to glowed brighter before the score went up.

* * LOTR- 9, BOTR- 6 * *

Frodo and Eowyn swam passed each other, turning slightly so that they could slap their palms together in a high-five.

"Go Mr. Frodo, go!" Sam chanted along with the other cheerleaders in the stalls, each of them waving pompoms in the air. The other cheerleaders had their uniform on half-heartedly over their black robes and their pompoms were gripped tightly in gauntleted hands.

The Witch King reached out one hand, enclosing his hand around the ball. In the next instant, Bjorn had the ball. Hitting the BOTR cast out of the way as he made his way to the goal. The Nozdrul slammed into Bjorn. Bjorn let one ham sized fist slam into the Nozdrul's chest. The two of them began brawling in the middle of the dome: forgetting completely about the game. Frodo shot upwards, bursting through the top of the dome into the cool air. Gandalf grabbed the ball, hurling it upwards towards Frodo whilst trying to beat Frito with his stave.

Arrowroot and Goodgulf lunged for the ball, instantly colliding with each other and becoming entangled. The ball kept going and burst out of the dome just as Frodo opened his arms to slow his descent back into the sphere. His back arched as he flipped backwards, his foot connecting with the ball and sending it back into the water and towards the goal. Dildo leapt and caught it but the momentum of the ball carried him into the net along with the ball.

* * Scoreboard: LOTR- 10, BOTR- 6 * *

Frodo splashed back into the dome and sank quickly, letting Gandalf pat him on the back. Frodo turned slowly trying to spot the ball and saw Frito.

"Nooo!" He screamed silently, pointing to the open goal and the boggie making a beeline towards it. Gandalf's face went pale and swam after him. He swam full out but the boggie had a head start.

Frito ducked Aragorn's attempt to break, causing him to plunge into Arrowroot. The two rangers drew their swords. Aragorn lunged and his attack was instantly parried by his counter part. The two continued to battle, attacking then blocking and dodging through the water. Frito sank quickly as he got closer to the net, gaining speed as he fell. He rocketed toward the goal and then less than ten feet away he span and hurled the ball at break neck speeds towards the net. Gandalf leapt towards the ball, only just getting to the goal as Frito had taken his shot.

"Nooo! You shall not score!!" Gandalf's voice boomed through the water as the ball skimmed his fingers. The ball slid passed him effortlessly into the back of the net.

* * Scoreboard: LOTR- 10, BOTR- 7 * *

The timer on the board flashed as ninety minutes signalling the end of the match. The crowd roared one last time, at the triumph of LOTR.

"Frodo! Frodo! Ra, ra, ra!" Sam chanted and then looked back at the Nazgul wearing the same uniform as himself: short skirt and all. "Who is it with the girly voice?" Sam muttered.

"Sorry, that'd be me." The most feminine of the Nazgul answered looking slightly embarrassed. If it weren't a wraith it would've probably blushed but since it was a wraith it didn't.

"Right.. Frodo! Frodo! He's the best! His garden passed the test!" The cheerleaders chanted, dancing around the stadium like idiots.

Eorache shifted in the seat trying to get comfortable causing muffled screams from underneath her.