Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Author's Note:
Love will not Die
Part V
By, Silver Fox
"I won't leave you."
Quatre heard a voice say that, only it seemed so far away. He opened his eyes and found himself on a bed. He took something out of his mouth and looked around. He saw Dorothy sleeping in a chair near the bed. She looked so pale and sickly. He reached out to touch her face. But his hand went right through her. Confused, he got out of the bed, and the room disappeared. He was now in a marble hall. It was big and beautiful, but Dorothy wasn't there.
"Where am I." he thought out loud.
"You are in yourself."
He spun around and saw a woman on a grand marble staircase. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. He knew he must be dreaming.
"Mother?" She had died giving birth to him. He had never seen her, yet she looked exactly like the old pictures he had of her.
"No, I'm not really your mother," she said as she slowly descended the long winding staircase, "I'm your image of her, how you keep her alive within your mind."
"Oh. But.I still don't know where I am."
"Like I said, you are in yourself."
"But what does that mean?"
"You are inside your mind right now."
"What? Is this a dream?"
"No, I'm sorry to say you're in a coma right now."
"Coma?" His mouth dropped open. "But.how.I don't remember."
"Would you like to remember?"
He blinked. "I could remember?"
"Yes. You were unconscious when all this happened, but your sub-conscious can remember it."
"My sub-conscious?"
"The part of your brain that works when you're unconscious or when you dream. So again, I ask you," she looked into his eyes, "do you want to see what happened?"
It was so strange for Quatre. For the first time in his entire life, he was looking into his mother's eyes. While it wasn't really her, he still felt the intensity of her presence. He was able to choke out, "Yes, I want to see what happened."
"Very well." She waved her hand and a holographic screen appeared in front of them. It showed first Sera and Quatre shaking hands, then her punching him in the nose and sticking him with a needle.
"I remember that."
"Shh, just watch."
He watched himself as he passed out on the floor. He saw Sera clean the blood from his nose off the floor, then drag him down a secret corridor into a secret room, tie him up and give him viagra. Then she started to slip off her dress. He turned away.
"Can we please skip part of this? It's too difficult to watch."
"Very well. We'll cut to the part when Dorothy comes in."
"Dorothy? She saw all of this?"
"Like I said, just watch."
He looked back at the screen again and saw Dorothy burst through the door with a rapier in her hand, and she screamed at Sera. Sera got up and put a sheet around herself. Quatre felt so hurt as he saw Dorothy try to shake him awake, then saw the swollen mark on his arm. He looked his own arm; it was still there.
"Dorothy.she looks terrible, so pale, she shouldn't be exerting herself like that."
Quatre looked shocked as Dorothy raised the rapier to Sera's throat after Sera confessed she raped him to get a baby. He saw the anger and malice in Dorothy's eyes and grew concerned.
"She looks like she did when she stabbed me. I hope she doesn't do anything she'll regret."
He watched as Sera talked her out of killing her, and as Dorothy called Rashid, and he restrained Sera and took her away. He gasped as Dorothy dropped her rapier to the floor and fell with it.
"Oh no, Dorothy!"
"Relax, this already happened. You'll make an appearance now as well."
"What do you mean?"
"Just watch."
He watched again as she got up again and moved toward him on the bed. She kneeled, took his hand, told him she loved him and started crying. He felt tears coming on himself.
"Please, Dorothy, don't cry."
He saw as he groaned and started to wake up. She was calling to him. He was delirious and was mumbling nonsense. She tried to calm him down. He started screaming out in pain. She held his hand tighter and spoke comfort to him. He screamed in pain some more. As she tried to calm him down, he gasped as he saw her duck when he tried to slap her.
"Oh my god!!! I tried to hit her!! Oh Dorothy I'm sorry."
"There's more."
"What?" He turned his attention back to the screen as he screamed at her 'I said get away! Stop hurting me!'
"Dorothy, I didn't mean that."
He became alarmed as he saw her on the floor holding her chest. "Oh god, her heart. Dorothy, calm down, please."
"You can't influence this, it already happened."
"I know, I know, but I..no Dorothy, please stay away from me, I could hurt you."
He said as she saw him approach him again. He was still flailing and screaming. "I'm delirious, don't go near me."
She tried to hold his hand again, but now he slapped her.
Quatre screamed out loud. "NOOOO!! OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I DO??!!! He ran to the hologram image and tried to hold the fake Dorothy.
"Dorothy.." He started to cry, "Oh Dorothy, I'm so sorry." He tried to grab the hologram, but his arms went through it. "Please forgive, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"There's not much more, I'll fast forward through it."
Quatre watched in fast motion as the paramedics came in, got him on a stretcher, and how Dorothy ran after them to the ambulance. "She shouldn't be running," he was still crying, "Her heart might not be able to take it." He watched it finish as they got off the ambulance and rushed him into the emergency room.
His mother put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"
"I-I-I hit her.."
"You didn't mean to do it. It was the drugs."
"But.I still hit her. I can't believe I did that. WHY?! WHY DID I DO IT!?" He brushed off her hand and went to hang his head in the corner. "I didn't mean to, I'd never want to hurt her."
"I know." His mother said, moving toward him. "And that's why you have to wake up from this. She also said she was going to get her heart transplant."
He looked up. "Her heart transplant came in? I have to be there, I have to make sure everything's ok." He looked her seriously in the eye. "I have to wake up now."
She patted his shoulder lovingly, just like he thought his mother would. "Well when you wake up depends on you, and whether or not you can."
He grew worried. "Are you telling me I might not be able to wake up?"
"I'm sorry to say, that in certain cases, no you can't. Whether or not you're one of those cases is up to you to find out."
"How do I find out?"
"You'll have to first have the will to want to wake up, and I can see you do, and then strengthen it enough to overpower your conscious self."
"Is that it?"
"No, you also have to journey through your mind to brink where the conscious and sub-conscious parts of your mind meet. If your will is strong enough, and if your body permits, you can come out of your coma."
Quatre breathed out a long breath. That seemed like an awful lot to do. He didn't know if he could do it before Dorothy got her heart transplant. But he had to try; he just had to. For Dorothy, he had to. He had to make sure she was all right. He looked at the image of his mother.
"I'll do it. For Dorothy, I will. I have to make sure she's alright. But I need to get there before she has her heart transplant. Where is she now?"
His mother made a holographic screen appear again, this time with an image of Dorothy sleeping in a chair next to a hospital bed, with him on it. "As you can see, she's sleeping in the chair next to you. She'll be there until tomorrow, and then I believe she'll be moved to her own room in preparation for her surgery. You have until tomorrow morning if you want to talk to her before her surgery."
"Alright. Now, which way do I go?"
She pointed. "You go that way. Keep heading straight until you find out which way to go. I must warn you, you could run into some strange things, and some difficult memories. Things could temp you, but you have to remember that they aren't real, since you're in your mind, you can control them. Manipulate them with your own will, don't let them manipulate you."
"Thank you," he smiled at her. "I know you're not really my mother, but thank you for telling me what to do."
She smiled at him. His mother looked a lot like him. She gave him a hug. "Goodbye, my son."
He let go of her, and started to run in the direction she pointed in. He went out the front door of the marble palace, and found himself..nowhere. He was standing, but there appeared to be nothing underneath his feet. Everything was just white. How could he know where to go? Then he remembered what his mother said 'Keep heading straight until you find out which way to go.' With determination on his face, Quatre started to walk out across the white plain. This place was so strange; it was like a void.
"My mind is a strange place, well that's what I expected."
He continued to run across the great white beyond that he knew was his mind. As his feet touch the surface of what seemed like nothing, it made ripples spreading outward, as if he were walking on water. He kept running and running. And then, without reason, he started falling.
****
Dorothy was just starting to wake up. She was half asleep with her eyes still closed. She had a terrible headache. She was remembering everything that had happened. But right now, with her eyes still closed, she didn't even know where she was. She thought she might have dreamt the whole thing. She called.
"Quatre?"
No answer. Then she listened to hear a beeping sound. She opened her eyes in disappointment to see that she was where she thought she was, in a chair, in the hospital, next to Quatre, who was unconscious.
"Uh. I guess it was real. Oh my head."
She groaned as she stretched her stiff arms and legs. She twisted her head carefully to stretch her neck. She glanced at the clock. It was 3:26 in the morning. She put her elbows on the edge of the bed and just stared at Quatre. Even now, he still looked like an angel. Her angel. The way his platinum gold hair framed, but still looked scattered about his pale face. He didn't have exactly the same glow he usually had, but he still had an aura around him that gave him a certain glow. She took her hand and began to comb his hair with it.
"Quatre, I know you can't hear me, but I want you to know that I love you. I always have and always will. You take as long as you need to wake up, because I'll be right here every second." She kissed his forehead. "You were there for me, now I'll be there for you." She paused for a moment. "Quatre, I'm a little scared. I'm supposed to be getting my heart transplant tomorrow. Well actually it's really today, but I'm nervous. What if something goes wrong? I know this won't get rid of the disease, but it should help. But it won't be enough. I've been taking this one step at a time, but after this I don't know what to do. I don't know what to treat next. I know I shouldn't be thinking about myself with you like this, but I had to tell you, even if you can't hear." She took his hand and scrunched up in her chair again. As she drifted off to sleep again, she muttered a few words.
"Aishiteru, Quatre."
****
As Quatre was falling through, again what seemed like nothing, he heard Dorothy's voice again, every so distantly.
"Aishiteru, Quatre."
"Dorothy!" he called out. Sooner than he thought, he had landed on something. Now he was in outer space. There was a colony nearby, and it looked somewhat familiar. Could it be? No, it couldn't possibly happen. But Quatre new he was wrong when he saw the Wing Zero mobile suit. He was just thrown in amidst this memory; he wasn't a part of it. He knew this was that time.
"Oh no, I have to see this again."
He just stood by and watched as the Wing Zero mobile suit aimed its cannon at the colony. Quatre winced as the colony blew up as the beam cannon hit it. The thing that was most painful was the fact that it was him in that mobile suit and it was his fault all those people were dead.
"Alright, I've seen this, where do I go from here?" Suddenly, the mobile suit stopped in front of him, and he got out of it, pulled off his helmet and faced himself. Quatre knew this image of him was not mentally stable, the cockpit of the Wing Zero made a person that way.
"Hey, I see you're, uh, me."
The image laughed. "I don't think so. You have to be an illusion. I am the real Quatre Rababa Winner. With the Wing Zero I am invincible. No one can stop me with this machine."
"Right, right, whatever you say. Listen, do you happen to know where I'm supposed to go?"
He gave himself a look. "Hmm, well there's two doors over there," he pointed to a white door and a red door, "and you have to go through the red one."
Quatre wasn't sure he could trust this image of himself. He was, after all unstable. He decided to make him admit why he chose the red door. "Ok, red door, got it. Why do I have to go through the red door?"
"Because those doors signify things. I'd know, I took the red door when I destroyed the colony. Red signifies blood, and blood needs to be shed to conquer and gain victory. I took the red door to get here. The white door signifies peace and pacifism. That's the door I'd typically take, but the wing zero makes me see things better."
"Thank you," Quatre said to his image. He knew now to take the white door. His mother was right, he had to manipulate what these images said to get the right answers. He walked the distance to the door, took the knob and twisted it open. He stepped into the white light. Then, it turned to black light.
****
"Dorothy, Dorothy!"
Dorothy twitched in her chair as she heard her name. She pulled her legs up more and tried to block out the noise and go back to sleep. She jumped and fell to the floor when she was tapped on the shoulder.
"Relax, Dorothy, it's only me."
"Oh, hello Doctor."
He helped her to her feet. "So, how are you? I can't believe you slept in this chair."
She pulled her arm across her chest to stretch her shoulder. "I had to be with him. How is he by the way?"
He looked at the monitors near Quatre. "Well, looks like he's stable. Good heart rate, good breathing rate, not much change."
"I see."
He turned back to her. "So Dorothy, we found you a heart transplant. I recommend that you come with me now so we can give it to you. You have to get prepped for the surgery. Are you ok with that?"
She was still looking at Quatre. "Yes. Just give me a minute and I'll go."
He nodded. "Of course. I'll wait outside." He left the room. Dorothy sat back down in her chair and started stroking his hair.
"Well Quatre, I have to go now. They're going to give me my transplant. I am still nervous, but this'll make things better. I'm supposed to get better after this. Once you wake up we can go back to how things were. Not exactly, but close." She kissed his forehead. "I love you. Come back to me soon." she stood up and opened the door. "Alright Doctor, I'm ready."
"Are you sure?"
She took one last look at her sleeping angel. "Yes, I am. Let's go."
****
After Quatre stepped into the white light that turned black, he found himself in a cemetery. Fog and mist hung on the dark air. The ground was soft and slightly muddy. He started wandering around.
"This is in my head? No wonder I'm so screwed up."
"Quatre."
He spun around upon hearing a misty voice. He gasped. It was a ghost. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of his father. Suddenly the memory of his father's death came back to him. His father had . The council and everyone had rebelled against him. He had been a pacifist. It was decreed that their natural resource satellites would be taken over and used for military purposes. Quatre's father, not wanting to fight, put himself in a natural resource satellite and self-destructed it. Quatre had seen the whole thing. He was always the gentlest of the Gundam pilots, but after seeing that was when he built wing zero. He tried to talk to the ghost.
"Father?"
"Hello Quatre. My goodness, look at you. Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?"
"Um, not really."
"Well I should have."
"Father, do you know where I have to go from here, or even where I am?"
"Well Quatre, this is the back of your mind. Things you think about but not think about very constantly. It's also the place that your worst fears are housed."
"Worst fears?"
"Yes. As for where to go, you have to work your way through this. You'll find the brink once you work your way through your worst fears."
"Alright. Thank you, father."
"Your welcome, son. Goodbye, and good luck." He said as he faded away. Quatre started out stepping over the many graves scattered throughout the area. Then, he tripped over one. He got back up to look at it, and there were 4 of them in a row. They each had the names of the gundam pilots on them. From left to right, they were Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, and Wufei Chang. He stumbled backwards seeing this. The graves of all his friends.
"T-this can't be."
He heard his mother's voice in his head again. "Remember, these are only illusions. These are in your head. You can control them."
Those words filled him with will again. He stood up and walked right past the illusions of the graves. Then, he saw a funeral off in the distance. People were gathered around a huge monument. They were all in black and bowing their heads. He went over towards these people. A minister was talking over a coffin.
"And so today, we bury a young person, who was much too young to be buried. This person had their whole life ahead of them. They were stolen from us, much too early. Today we bury Dorothy Catalonia."
Quatre stopped breathing when he heard this. This most certainly was his worst fear. He listened on.
"Dorothy had the misfortune of having Chagus disease. And, still, sadly, there is no cure. She was having a heart transplant to treat her symptoms when she had a seizure and died."
Quatre grit his teeth. It's not real, it's only in my head, it's an illusion. Dorothy will live; Dorothy will live. As he thought this over and over again, the people, the minister and even the coffin started to fade away. He walked through the fading illusion and found a door in the big monument. He couldn't open it. This must be the brink. He focused his will as strong as he could. He had to get back for one reason: Dorothy. He had to see her; he had to hold her again. He had to make sure she was going to be all right. He closed his eyes, still gripping the door, and he saw a white light. Then, he opened the door and walked into it. He started to hear voices.
"Quatre, Quatre, can you hear us?"
****
Quatre started to open his eyes. He could make out 4 blurry faces. They were all staring at him. He blinked a couple times.
"Hey, I think Q-man's wakin' up!"
"Duo, you should be more quiet. Quatre will most likely be disoriented." He could make out those two voices.
"Duo, Trowa?"
"Hey, he is awake! See Heero, I told you so," he held out his hand, "You owe me 10 bucks."
"Now's not the time for that," Heero's monotone voice said. "Quatre, how do you feel?"
Quatre rubbed his head. "How do you think I feel? I'm so tired. But," he smiled at them, "Thank you all for coming."
Wufei had his arms crossed in the corner, and as usual with a stubborn look on his face. "We came because we were informed to come."
"Who told you all to come?"
"Dorothy called me and told me to tell everyone and come to see you while she couldn't be here." Trowa's gentle voice said.
"Dorothy, oh where is she?"
"Oh, that's right you were unconscious, she's getting her heart transplant. Relena's in there now helping her with surgery prep."
Quatre's eyes widened. That was why he woke up, to see her again, to make sure she was all right. He yanked out his IV, took off his breathing machine, put on a second hospital robe, and went out the door. The others watched him stunned. Heero called out to him.
"Hey, I know I'm no expert in medicine, but aren't you supposed to be resting?"
"There's no time for that," he called back, "I have to see Dorothy, what room is she in?"
Heero sighed. "Room 322. Go get her lover boy."
Quatre, who had put the second robe on backwards and was completely covered, ran as fast as he could down the hallway. He was still a little tired and woozy, but at that moment he didn't care. All he cared about was getting to Dorothy. He nearly knocked off a little nurse.
"Oh excuse me, I'm sorry," he said as he was still running. Then, he reached the door. He didn't even knock; he just opened it. He found a very shocked Relena sitting in a chair.
"Quatre? Quatre? Oh my god, I thought you were in a coma! I mean I just visited you."
"Relena, hello." Quatre panted as she gave him a hug. "It's so good to see you. Now where's Dorothy?"
"She's in the bathroom changing into her robe." she eyed Quatre wearing two robes. "I see you know how to keep covered." She started to cry a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't get emotional, I just thought I might never be able to talk to you again.We were all so worried, even Heero, though he wouldn't admit it."
"Yeah, that sounds like Heero. No offense to you, but when's Dorothy coming back. That's why I woke up, to see her."
"Calm down, she be right back." Relena looked at him. "Quatre, I think she's very brave. She's not acting the least bit nervous. Oh, and she notified your sisters of what happened to you, so you can expect them as visitors."
"She talked to my sisters? All 29 of them?"
"Well she called one, got screamed at by her and started a phone chain."
"Oh." he said. He knew his sisters didn't exactly get along with her, but he was glad she told them. Just then, the door opened.
"Dorothy!" ****
Dorothy had opened the door to her room, and found that two people were in it now. Relena, who had been there, but now she thought she saw Quatre. Stunned by seeing this, she closed the door again. She took about 5 seconds to tell herself, "Stop seeing things, Quatre's not there, he's in a coma, he's not there." After she thought, she had convinced herself, she opened the door again. And there he was again. Not being able to stand it, he ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.
"Relena?"
"Yes?"
"Am I seeing things or is it Quatre that's hugging me?"
Relena smiled. "Yes, it is Quatre. I was as shocked as you. I think I'll give you two some time alone." She walked out and closed the door. Dorothy looked into Quatre's eyes.
"Are you real?"
He smiled. "Why don't I show you." He leaned in and gave her the most passionate kiss she had ever felt. In that kiss, she knew it really was him; her angel had come back to her. When they parted, she stared, panting, at him.
"I can't believe it, you're awake. You came back."
He stroked her face. "I will always come back for you."
"I know this is a delicate subject, but, do you want me to tell you what happened?"
"It's ok, you don't have to."
"But.don't you want to know what she did to you?"
"Dorothy, right now I couldn't care what she did, I only want to see you right now."
"But," she moved out of his grasp, "I think you have to know."
He thought. He didn't actually remember everything that happened when he was inside his head. "Alright, if you want you can tell me."
"Ok. What happened is after you left to meet someone, I waited awhile, and then I went looking for you. You weren't there, but I found blood on the floor, so I ran around looking for you. I felt lightheaded so I leaned against the wall. I fell through a panel and into a secret hallway. I grabbed the rapier on the wall, and looked in the doors. I heard a female voice, so I went in that door, and I found.."
"Yes? What did you find?"
She swallowed hard and looked him in the face. "I found you and Sera naked on a bed. She jumped off. I saw you were tied up and saw the injection mark. Sera confessed to me she gave you a tranquillizer and tainted viagra so she could rape and get a baby from you. I had her arrested. You were delirious. You were screaming in pain and flailing around. I tried to calm you down, but." she pointed to the slightly red mark on her face, "I couldn't calm you down. But the paramedics came, and got you to the hospital. Then they told me you were in a coma, and I spent the whole night with you." She sighed. "That's what happened, now you know. I'm sorry, if I checked on you sooner, then this wouldn't have."
He placed a finger on her lips. "Hush. You've said enough. And I don't want you blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault at all. You saved my life, Dorothy. Thank you so much." He leaned in and kissed her again. She kissed back, never wanting that kiss to end. The doctor opened the door.
"Hello miss-,"
"GET OUT!" she screamed.
The frightened doctor ran out. Quatre gave her a look.
"Why did you scare the poor doctor like that?"
"Because," she grabbed his robe and pulled him towards her, "I want more alone time with you." She raised an eyebrow. "Any objections to that?"
He smiled a wicked smile. "Oh no, none at all." She pulled him down on the unused hospital bed with her and took off his extra robe. "I don't think you need this." she tossed it aside. The two of them started getting intimate when two doctors came in this time.
"Uhh, excuse us, please."
Dorothy retied her robe. "Oh what is it now? Can't you see we're busy?"
"Y-yes ma'am, I see that. B-but, you need to go int-to surgery right now."
She sighed an annoyed sigh. "Alright." She turned to Quatre. "I'll finish with you later." She kissed him deeply and then waved she was taken out on the stretcher. Quatre left the room to go back to his own. He wanted to get dressed, but the nurse forbade him, saying he had to stay another night for observation. He was at least allowed to get dressed. His four friends were still in his room, and they kept him company. They talked for a while. Then, Quatre saw people rushing down the hallway. He got up, opened the door, and caught a few words they were saying.
"Yes, it's the girl with Chagus disease getting a heart transplant, we're needed right away, apparently she's having a seize. We have to hurry, she could die."
Author's Note:
Love will not Die
Part V
By, Silver Fox
"I won't leave you."
Quatre heard a voice say that, only it seemed so far away. He opened his eyes and found himself on a bed. He took something out of his mouth and looked around. He saw Dorothy sleeping in a chair near the bed. She looked so pale and sickly. He reached out to touch her face. But his hand went right through her. Confused, he got out of the bed, and the room disappeared. He was now in a marble hall. It was big and beautiful, but Dorothy wasn't there.
"Where am I." he thought out loud.
"You are in yourself."
He spun around and saw a woman on a grand marble staircase. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. He knew he must be dreaming.
"Mother?" She had died giving birth to him. He had never seen her, yet she looked exactly like the old pictures he had of her.
"No, I'm not really your mother," she said as she slowly descended the long winding staircase, "I'm your image of her, how you keep her alive within your mind."
"Oh. But.I still don't know where I am."
"Like I said, you are in yourself."
"But what does that mean?"
"You are inside your mind right now."
"What? Is this a dream?"
"No, I'm sorry to say you're in a coma right now."
"Coma?" His mouth dropped open. "But.how.I don't remember."
"Would you like to remember?"
He blinked. "I could remember?"
"Yes. You were unconscious when all this happened, but your sub-conscious can remember it."
"My sub-conscious?"
"The part of your brain that works when you're unconscious or when you dream. So again, I ask you," she looked into his eyes, "do you want to see what happened?"
It was so strange for Quatre. For the first time in his entire life, he was looking into his mother's eyes. While it wasn't really her, he still felt the intensity of her presence. He was able to choke out, "Yes, I want to see what happened."
"Very well." She waved her hand and a holographic screen appeared in front of them. It showed first Sera and Quatre shaking hands, then her punching him in the nose and sticking him with a needle.
"I remember that."
"Shh, just watch."
He watched himself as he passed out on the floor. He saw Sera clean the blood from his nose off the floor, then drag him down a secret corridor into a secret room, tie him up and give him viagra. Then she started to slip off her dress. He turned away.
"Can we please skip part of this? It's too difficult to watch."
"Very well. We'll cut to the part when Dorothy comes in."
"Dorothy? She saw all of this?"
"Like I said, just watch."
He looked back at the screen again and saw Dorothy burst through the door with a rapier in her hand, and she screamed at Sera. Sera got up and put a sheet around herself. Quatre felt so hurt as he saw Dorothy try to shake him awake, then saw the swollen mark on his arm. He looked his own arm; it was still there.
"Dorothy.she looks terrible, so pale, she shouldn't be exerting herself like that."
Quatre looked shocked as Dorothy raised the rapier to Sera's throat after Sera confessed she raped him to get a baby. He saw the anger and malice in Dorothy's eyes and grew concerned.
"She looks like she did when she stabbed me. I hope she doesn't do anything she'll regret."
He watched as Sera talked her out of killing her, and as Dorothy called Rashid, and he restrained Sera and took her away. He gasped as Dorothy dropped her rapier to the floor and fell with it.
"Oh no, Dorothy!"
"Relax, this already happened. You'll make an appearance now as well."
"What do you mean?"
"Just watch."
He watched again as she got up again and moved toward him on the bed. She kneeled, took his hand, told him she loved him and started crying. He felt tears coming on himself.
"Please, Dorothy, don't cry."
He saw as he groaned and started to wake up. She was calling to him. He was delirious and was mumbling nonsense. She tried to calm him down. He started screaming out in pain. She held his hand tighter and spoke comfort to him. He screamed in pain some more. As she tried to calm him down, he gasped as he saw her duck when he tried to slap her.
"Oh my god!!! I tried to hit her!! Oh Dorothy I'm sorry."
"There's more."
"What?" He turned his attention back to the screen as he screamed at her 'I said get away! Stop hurting me!'
"Dorothy, I didn't mean that."
He became alarmed as he saw her on the floor holding her chest. "Oh god, her heart. Dorothy, calm down, please."
"You can't influence this, it already happened."
"I know, I know, but I..no Dorothy, please stay away from me, I could hurt you."
He said as she saw him approach him again. He was still flailing and screaming. "I'm delirious, don't go near me."
She tried to hold his hand again, but now he slapped her.
Quatre screamed out loud. "NOOOO!! OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I DO??!!! He ran to the hologram image and tried to hold the fake Dorothy.
"Dorothy.." He started to cry, "Oh Dorothy, I'm so sorry." He tried to grab the hologram, but his arms went through it. "Please forgive, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"There's not much more, I'll fast forward through it."
Quatre watched in fast motion as the paramedics came in, got him on a stretcher, and how Dorothy ran after them to the ambulance. "She shouldn't be running," he was still crying, "Her heart might not be able to take it." He watched it finish as they got off the ambulance and rushed him into the emergency room.
His mother put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"
"I-I-I hit her.."
"You didn't mean to do it. It was the drugs."
"But.I still hit her. I can't believe I did that. WHY?! WHY DID I DO IT!?" He brushed off her hand and went to hang his head in the corner. "I didn't mean to, I'd never want to hurt her."
"I know." His mother said, moving toward him. "And that's why you have to wake up from this. She also said she was going to get her heart transplant."
He looked up. "Her heart transplant came in? I have to be there, I have to make sure everything's ok." He looked her seriously in the eye. "I have to wake up now."
She patted his shoulder lovingly, just like he thought his mother would. "Well when you wake up depends on you, and whether or not you can."
He grew worried. "Are you telling me I might not be able to wake up?"
"I'm sorry to say, that in certain cases, no you can't. Whether or not you're one of those cases is up to you to find out."
"How do I find out?"
"You'll have to first have the will to want to wake up, and I can see you do, and then strengthen it enough to overpower your conscious self."
"Is that it?"
"No, you also have to journey through your mind to brink where the conscious and sub-conscious parts of your mind meet. If your will is strong enough, and if your body permits, you can come out of your coma."
Quatre breathed out a long breath. That seemed like an awful lot to do. He didn't know if he could do it before Dorothy got her heart transplant. But he had to try; he just had to. For Dorothy, he had to. He had to make sure she was all right. He looked at the image of his mother.
"I'll do it. For Dorothy, I will. I have to make sure she's alright. But I need to get there before she has her heart transplant. Where is she now?"
His mother made a holographic screen appear again, this time with an image of Dorothy sleeping in a chair next to a hospital bed, with him on it. "As you can see, she's sleeping in the chair next to you. She'll be there until tomorrow, and then I believe she'll be moved to her own room in preparation for her surgery. You have until tomorrow morning if you want to talk to her before her surgery."
"Alright. Now, which way do I go?"
She pointed. "You go that way. Keep heading straight until you find out which way to go. I must warn you, you could run into some strange things, and some difficult memories. Things could temp you, but you have to remember that they aren't real, since you're in your mind, you can control them. Manipulate them with your own will, don't let them manipulate you."
"Thank you," he smiled at her. "I know you're not really my mother, but thank you for telling me what to do."
She smiled at him. His mother looked a lot like him. She gave him a hug. "Goodbye, my son."
He let go of her, and started to run in the direction she pointed in. He went out the front door of the marble palace, and found himself..nowhere. He was standing, but there appeared to be nothing underneath his feet. Everything was just white. How could he know where to go? Then he remembered what his mother said 'Keep heading straight until you find out which way to go.' With determination on his face, Quatre started to walk out across the white plain. This place was so strange; it was like a void.
"My mind is a strange place, well that's what I expected."
He continued to run across the great white beyond that he knew was his mind. As his feet touch the surface of what seemed like nothing, it made ripples spreading outward, as if he were walking on water. He kept running and running. And then, without reason, he started falling.
****
Dorothy was just starting to wake up. She was half asleep with her eyes still closed. She had a terrible headache. She was remembering everything that had happened. But right now, with her eyes still closed, she didn't even know where she was. She thought she might have dreamt the whole thing. She called.
"Quatre?"
No answer. Then she listened to hear a beeping sound. She opened her eyes in disappointment to see that she was where she thought she was, in a chair, in the hospital, next to Quatre, who was unconscious.
"Uh. I guess it was real. Oh my head."
She groaned as she stretched her stiff arms and legs. She twisted her head carefully to stretch her neck. She glanced at the clock. It was 3:26 in the morning. She put her elbows on the edge of the bed and just stared at Quatre. Even now, he still looked like an angel. Her angel. The way his platinum gold hair framed, but still looked scattered about his pale face. He didn't have exactly the same glow he usually had, but he still had an aura around him that gave him a certain glow. She took her hand and began to comb his hair with it.
"Quatre, I know you can't hear me, but I want you to know that I love you. I always have and always will. You take as long as you need to wake up, because I'll be right here every second." She kissed his forehead. "You were there for me, now I'll be there for you." She paused for a moment. "Quatre, I'm a little scared. I'm supposed to be getting my heart transplant tomorrow. Well actually it's really today, but I'm nervous. What if something goes wrong? I know this won't get rid of the disease, but it should help. But it won't be enough. I've been taking this one step at a time, but after this I don't know what to do. I don't know what to treat next. I know I shouldn't be thinking about myself with you like this, but I had to tell you, even if you can't hear." She took his hand and scrunched up in her chair again. As she drifted off to sleep again, she muttered a few words.
"Aishiteru, Quatre."
****
As Quatre was falling through, again what seemed like nothing, he heard Dorothy's voice again, every so distantly.
"Aishiteru, Quatre."
"Dorothy!" he called out. Sooner than he thought, he had landed on something. Now he was in outer space. There was a colony nearby, and it looked somewhat familiar. Could it be? No, it couldn't possibly happen. But Quatre new he was wrong when he saw the Wing Zero mobile suit. He was just thrown in amidst this memory; he wasn't a part of it. He knew this was that time.
"Oh no, I have to see this again."
He just stood by and watched as the Wing Zero mobile suit aimed its cannon at the colony. Quatre winced as the colony blew up as the beam cannon hit it. The thing that was most painful was the fact that it was him in that mobile suit and it was his fault all those people were dead.
"Alright, I've seen this, where do I go from here?" Suddenly, the mobile suit stopped in front of him, and he got out of it, pulled off his helmet and faced himself. Quatre knew this image of him was not mentally stable, the cockpit of the Wing Zero made a person that way.
"Hey, I see you're, uh, me."
The image laughed. "I don't think so. You have to be an illusion. I am the real Quatre Rababa Winner. With the Wing Zero I am invincible. No one can stop me with this machine."
"Right, right, whatever you say. Listen, do you happen to know where I'm supposed to go?"
He gave himself a look. "Hmm, well there's two doors over there," he pointed to a white door and a red door, "and you have to go through the red one."
Quatre wasn't sure he could trust this image of himself. He was, after all unstable. He decided to make him admit why he chose the red door. "Ok, red door, got it. Why do I have to go through the red door?"
"Because those doors signify things. I'd know, I took the red door when I destroyed the colony. Red signifies blood, and blood needs to be shed to conquer and gain victory. I took the red door to get here. The white door signifies peace and pacifism. That's the door I'd typically take, but the wing zero makes me see things better."
"Thank you," Quatre said to his image. He knew now to take the white door. His mother was right, he had to manipulate what these images said to get the right answers. He walked the distance to the door, took the knob and twisted it open. He stepped into the white light. Then, it turned to black light.
****
"Dorothy, Dorothy!"
Dorothy twitched in her chair as she heard her name. She pulled her legs up more and tried to block out the noise and go back to sleep. She jumped and fell to the floor when she was tapped on the shoulder.
"Relax, Dorothy, it's only me."
"Oh, hello Doctor."
He helped her to her feet. "So, how are you? I can't believe you slept in this chair."
She pulled her arm across her chest to stretch her shoulder. "I had to be with him. How is he by the way?"
He looked at the monitors near Quatre. "Well, looks like he's stable. Good heart rate, good breathing rate, not much change."
"I see."
He turned back to her. "So Dorothy, we found you a heart transplant. I recommend that you come with me now so we can give it to you. You have to get prepped for the surgery. Are you ok with that?"
She was still looking at Quatre. "Yes. Just give me a minute and I'll go."
He nodded. "Of course. I'll wait outside." He left the room. Dorothy sat back down in her chair and started stroking his hair.
"Well Quatre, I have to go now. They're going to give me my transplant. I am still nervous, but this'll make things better. I'm supposed to get better after this. Once you wake up we can go back to how things were. Not exactly, but close." She kissed his forehead. "I love you. Come back to me soon." she stood up and opened the door. "Alright Doctor, I'm ready."
"Are you sure?"
She took one last look at her sleeping angel. "Yes, I am. Let's go."
****
After Quatre stepped into the white light that turned black, he found himself in a cemetery. Fog and mist hung on the dark air. The ground was soft and slightly muddy. He started wandering around.
"This is in my head? No wonder I'm so screwed up."
"Quatre."
He spun around upon hearing a misty voice. He gasped. It was a ghost. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of his father. Suddenly the memory of his father's death came back to him. His father had . The council and everyone had rebelled against him. He had been a pacifist. It was decreed that their natural resource satellites would be taken over and used for military purposes. Quatre's father, not wanting to fight, put himself in a natural resource satellite and self-destructed it. Quatre had seen the whole thing. He was always the gentlest of the Gundam pilots, but after seeing that was when he built wing zero. He tried to talk to the ghost.
"Father?"
"Hello Quatre. My goodness, look at you. Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?"
"Um, not really."
"Well I should have."
"Father, do you know where I have to go from here, or even where I am?"
"Well Quatre, this is the back of your mind. Things you think about but not think about very constantly. It's also the place that your worst fears are housed."
"Worst fears?"
"Yes. As for where to go, you have to work your way through this. You'll find the brink once you work your way through your worst fears."
"Alright. Thank you, father."
"Your welcome, son. Goodbye, and good luck." He said as he faded away. Quatre started out stepping over the many graves scattered throughout the area. Then, he tripped over one. He got back up to look at it, and there were 4 of them in a row. They each had the names of the gundam pilots on them. From left to right, they were Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, and Wufei Chang. He stumbled backwards seeing this. The graves of all his friends.
"T-this can't be."
He heard his mother's voice in his head again. "Remember, these are only illusions. These are in your head. You can control them."
Those words filled him with will again. He stood up and walked right past the illusions of the graves. Then, he saw a funeral off in the distance. People were gathered around a huge monument. They were all in black and bowing their heads. He went over towards these people. A minister was talking over a coffin.
"And so today, we bury a young person, who was much too young to be buried. This person had their whole life ahead of them. They were stolen from us, much too early. Today we bury Dorothy Catalonia."
Quatre stopped breathing when he heard this. This most certainly was his worst fear. He listened on.
"Dorothy had the misfortune of having Chagus disease. And, still, sadly, there is no cure. She was having a heart transplant to treat her symptoms when she had a seizure and died."
Quatre grit his teeth. It's not real, it's only in my head, it's an illusion. Dorothy will live; Dorothy will live. As he thought this over and over again, the people, the minister and even the coffin started to fade away. He walked through the fading illusion and found a door in the big monument. He couldn't open it. This must be the brink. He focused his will as strong as he could. He had to get back for one reason: Dorothy. He had to see her; he had to hold her again. He had to make sure she was going to be all right. He closed his eyes, still gripping the door, and he saw a white light. Then, he opened the door and walked into it. He started to hear voices.
"Quatre, Quatre, can you hear us?"
****
Quatre started to open his eyes. He could make out 4 blurry faces. They were all staring at him. He blinked a couple times.
"Hey, I think Q-man's wakin' up!"
"Duo, you should be more quiet. Quatre will most likely be disoriented." He could make out those two voices.
"Duo, Trowa?"
"Hey, he is awake! See Heero, I told you so," he held out his hand, "You owe me 10 bucks."
"Now's not the time for that," Heero's monotone voice said. "Quatre, how do you feel?"
Quatre rubbed his head. "How do you think I feel? I'm so tired. But," he smiled at them, "Thank you all for coming."
Wufei had his arms crossed in the corner, and as usual with a stubborn look on his face. "We came because we were informed to come."
"Who told you all to come?"
"Dorothy called me and told me to tell everyone and come to see you while she couldn't be here." Trowa's gentle voice said.
"Dorothy, oh where is she?"
"Oh, that's right you were unconscious, she's getting her heart transplant. Relena's in there now helping her with surgery prep."
Quatre's eyes widened. That was why he woke up, to see her again, to make sure she was all right. He yanked out his IV, took off his breathing machine, put on a second hospital robe, and went out the door. The others watched him stunned. Heero called out to him.
"Hey, I know I'm no expert in medicine, but aren't you supposed to be resting?"
"There's no time for that," he called back, "I have to see Dorothy, what room is she in?"
Heero sighed. "Room 322. Go get her lover boy."
Quatre, who had put the second robe on backwards and was completely covered, ran as fast as he could down the hallway. He was still a little tired and woozy, but at that moment he didn't care. All he cared about was getting to Dorothy. He nearly knocked off a little nurse.
"Oh excuse me, I'm sorry," he said as he was still running. Then, he reached the door. He didn't even knock; he just opened it. He found a very shocked Relena sitting in a chair.
"Quatre? Quatre? Oh my god, I thought you were in a coma! I mean I just visited you."
"Relena, hello." Quatre panted as she gave him a hug. "It's so good to see you. Now where's Dorothy?"
"She's in the bathroom changing into her robe." she eyed Quatre wearing two robes. "I see you know how to keep covered." She started to cry a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't get emotional, I just thought I might never be able to talk to you again.We were all so worried, even Heero, though he wouldn't admit it."
"Yeah, that sounds like Heero. No offense to you, but when's Dorothy coming back. That's why I woke up, to see her."
"Calm down, she be right back." Relena looked at him. "Quatre, I think she's very brave. She's not acting the least bit nervous. Oh, and she notified your sisters of what happened to you, so you can expect them as visitors."
"She talked to my sisters? All 29 of them?"
"Well she called one, got screamed at by her and started a phone chain."
"Oh." he said. He knew his sisters didn't exactly get along with her, but he was glad she told them. Just then, the door opened.
"Dorothy!" ****
Dorothy had opened the door to her room, and found that two people were in it now. Relena, who had been there, but now she thought she saw Quatre. Stunned by seeing this, she closed the door again. She took about 5 seconds to tell herself, "Stop seeing things, Quatre's not there, he's in a coma, he's not there." After she thought, she had convinced herself, she opened the door again. And there he was again. Not being able to stand it, he ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.
"Relena?"
"Yes?"
"Am I seeing things or is it Quatre that's hugging me?"
Relena smiled. "Yes, it is Quatre. I was as shocked as you. I think I'll give you two some time alone." She walked out and closed the door. Dorothy looked into Quatre's eyes.
"Are you real?"
He smiled. "Why don't I show you." He leaned in and gave her the most passionate kiss she had ever felt. In that kiss, she knew it really was him; her angel had come back to her. When they parted, she stared, panting, at him.
"I can't believe it, you're awake. You came back."
He stroked her face. "I will always come back for you."
"I know this is a delicate subject, but, do you want me to tell you what happened?"
"It's ok, you don't have to."
"But.don't you want to know what she did to you?"
"Dorothy, right now I couldn't care what she did, I only want to see you right now."
"But," she moved out of his grasp, "I think you have to know."
He thought. He didn't actually remember everything that happened when he was inside his head. "Alright, if you want you can tell me."
"Ok. What happened is after you left to meet someone, I waited awhile, and then I went looking for you. You weren't there, but I found blood on the floor, so I ran around looking for you. I felt lightheaded so I leaned against the wall. I fell through a panel and into a secret hallway. I grabbed the rapier on the wall, and looked in the doors. I heard a female voice, so I went in that door, and I found.."
"Yes? What did you find?"
She swallowed hard and looked him in the face. "I found you and Sera naked on a bed. She jumped off. I saw you were tied up and saw the injection mark. Sera confessed to me she gave you a tranquillizer and tainted viagra so she could rape and get a baby from you. I had her arrested. You were delirious. You were screaming in pain and flailing around. I tried to calm you down, but." she pointed to the slightly red mark on her face, "I couldn't calm you down. But the paramedics came, and got you to the hospital. Then they told me you were in a coma, and I spent the whole night with you." She sighed. "That's what happened, now you know. I'm sorry, if I checked on you sooner, then this wouldn't have."
He placed a finger on her lips. "Hush. You've said enough. And I don't want you blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault at all. You saved my life, Dorothy. Thank you so much." He leaned in and kissed her again. She kissed back, never wanting that kiss to end. The doctor opened the door.
"Hello miss-,"
"GET OUT!" she screamed.
The frightened doctor ran out. Quatre gave her a look.
"Why did you scare the poor doctor like that?"
"Because," she grabbed his robe and pulled him towards her, "I want more alone time with you." She raised an eyebrow. "Any objections to that?"
He smiled a wicked smile. "Oh no, none at all." She pulled him down on the unused hospital bed with her and took off his extra robe. "I don't think you need this." she tossed it aside. The two of them started getting intimate when two doctors came in this time.
"Uhh, excuse us, please."
Dorothy retied her robe. "Oh what is it now? Can't you see we're busy?"
"Y-yes ma'am, I see that. B-but, you need to go int-to surgery right now."
She sighed an annoyed sigh. "Alright." She turned to Quatre. "I'll finish with you later." She kissed him deeply and then waved she was taken out on the stretcher. Quatre left the room to go back to his own. He wanted to get dressed, but the nurse forbade him, saying he had to stay another night for observation. He was at least allowed to get dressed. His four friends were still in his room, and they kept him company. They talked for a while. Then, Quatre saw people rushing down the hallway. He got up, opened the door, and caught a few words they were saying.
"Yes, it's the girl with Chagus disease getting a heart transplant, we're needed right away, apparently she's having a seize. We have to hurry, she could die."