***************
Angel, by Kristii
***************
this story is told a few years after Angel's tale...
comments -- aznvballgurl@yahoo.com
Sailor Mars and affiliated characters (c) Naoko Takeuchi, with
the exception of Angelique Hino
----------------------------------------------------------------------
White Angel? Hardly; that's something my sister would say...
I am no "white angel," oh, no. White is the color of purity,
of innocence, of cleanness--and I am not clean, nor pure, nor
innocent. In twenty-six years, life has taught me too many lessons of
the harshness called reality...
It's been a long time, really, since you could consider me
innocent. I was a very little girl then, four, almost five, so
innocent, so sweet... I was truly happy: I had a wonderful sister, and
wonderful friends, and a mother and father who were so kind, so
loving...
I do not remember much of those times. A few romps around the
house, my daddy chasing me, pretending to be some creature, scooping
me up above his head and whirling me above him, or tickling me until
we both laughed... My mother wore a sweet perfume, I remember: light
and flowery, with hints of what I later recognized as rose and
lavender and jasmine... And my sister, so happy, so fun, always the
leader, yet never a tyrant: a little girl who could be a silly child
pretending to be a princess one instant, then a serious, mature
protector the next...
And then I was introduced to reality, to lust and passion and
greed, to alcohol and poison and death... I lost my innocence then;
the man, so huge, so ugly, went deep down inside me as I silently
screamed, his bloated hardness tearing through my body...
I woke in the hospital, and within days, I had lost
everything. My mother had died with my childhood; my sister had
already gone; my father abandoned me to the lonely temple in suburban
Tokyo where my mother's reclusive father took me in as his child...
I made no friends at school, never--I cared not for the
companionship of others. They came to revere me, to think of me as a
goddess, almost, so tall and beautiful and silently commanding, yet I
never returned their respect... All who spoke to me came away with the
impression of an enigma, a girl with deep emotions hidden down beneath
her cold, hard shell, yet none could penetrate it to find the truth
that lay inside...
I was a contradiction, then. Everything I did was not in
accord to the expectations of others: I was known to be wealthy, yet I
attended a school that, though private, could hardly be called
exclusive; I was a Shinto priestess, yet I attended Mass daily with my
classmates. And then there was the whole issue of always walking in
silence... No one could understand me, except one girl:
Angel.
My sister and I were bonded at birth; from my earliest days, I
remember speaking to her without making a sound, her own reply equally
silent. I did not realize that it was not normal for two girls to
communicate with their minds until I was older; and so, when I met a
girl named Serena and a cat called Luna, I was not surprised at the
news they brought me:
They told me of the ancient past, of a time when the planets
were aligned, and then I remembered: I was the princess of Mars then,
a beautiful young girl who lived far from her home, training to be the
Fire Senshi, guardian of the Moon... I remembered the girls: Ladies
Ami, Mako, Minako; and of course, the Princess Serenity...
And throughout the memories of the past, one thing lingered
within me. I remembered, when I was still on Mars, that I had a
playmate: a little girl who laughed and played and had the same dark,
shining locks hanging down her back... Yet there was no mention of a
second Lady Mars at all, no second guardian of the Red Planet, no
other Princess to ascend to the throne...
But that night, when I spoke to my sister, I found out...
And so, while the others praised and loved the girl we knew as
Serena, I could not bring myself to do the same. Oh, I could act, but
deep inside, I felt nothing but disgust, nothing but loathing for the
child who sent my sister into her exile, whose mother shattered her
life at one, then destroyed it completely seventeen years later...
But I did not have to pretend for long. Two years later, I
left Tokyo behind for Boston, sixteen years of my life shut behind me.
Angel joined me at Harvard; we spent those entire three years
together, and then Angel left school for New York, and I embarked
alone to California: Stanford's school of business...
I was twenty-one when I finished my studies; twenty-one, of
legal age, 51% of my mother's company passing into my control on my
birthday. Angel had already established herself in New York; she had
no need for new fortunes, for business. And so I went to Washington,
where Tanaka Ltd. had relocated their Tokyo headquarters, and took the
reins of my mother's last legacy...
I did not know it then, but that one decision would haunt my
sleep til eternity...
For it was at work that I met him, Kyle Kennedy, so tall and
handsome and proud... He was the Second Vice President of the company,
and the first time he saw me, he loved me... It took me months to warm
to him--after Darien, after Jadeite, I had no desire for love
again--but in the end, I succumbed. We were wed two months after my
twenty-third birthday, so happy, and yet...
Pluto attended my wedding, and she found me after the
ceremony, her eyes dark. "We are Senshi, Mars," she said quietly--too
quietly. "It is well that you are happy, but be forewarned: the Fates
have declared that the Senshi may love none save their princess. For
the moment, you have cheated the Fates; in the future, I would be
careful, Mars, of their vengeance..."
At the moment, I took no heed of her words; and for two years,
actually, all was peaceful. Those two years, God... they were the best
times I have ever spent, Kyle at my side and the world at my feet, my
life filled with nothing save happiness...
It was then that the summons came, a last call to battle:
Pluto's prophecy proved far too accurate as she outlined our troubles,
explaining the return of the General and what hung in the balance. She
gave me a choice--a single choice, to determine the future--abandon my
Princess, or forsake my husband...
And what could I do? I was Mars-Sailor Mars, Spirit of Fire,
she who was cursed to stand eternal guard... What choice did I have,
but to protect my Princess, to ensure the future she had been
promised? There was no choice, really, but...
God, there was agony...
I will never forget the look on my husband's face when I asked
him that last favor; it is a look that haunts my dreams, that breaks
my heart and makes me curse Serenity to hell for eternity. He was
sick, then, stricken with cancer--and I, the one person he needed most
in those difficult times--was abandoning him, leaving him alone to
face the future...
He tried to kill himself three days later, and I cried when I
heard the news. The poor man... it would have been better, certainly,
if he had never met me. All I brought for him was pain--such pain--I
wanted nothing more than to hold him tight and whisper my apologies,
but...
I was, at the time, wife to Jadeite.
I understood, of course, that I had no choice--if I had not
wed him, a creature would have taken him--a creature that, with his
power to aid it, would have enough strength to topple Crystal Tokyo.
And I understood that I had to play my façade, and forget the man I
had left broken in a Virginia hospital, but...
God...
I was ready to die by the time of the Last Battle; by some
bitter irony, though, it was Jadeite--not me--who lost his life in
that long battle. I was finally freed of that marriage I hated, but...
It was too late, then, to be of any consequence.
For my poor Kyle was already on his deathbed by then, slowly
dying in agony. I was with him for the last weeks, but... soon--too
soon--he was gone forever, living only in my memories...
I walk the streets of Crystal Tokyo now, eyes cold,
unyielding. The people shy away when they see me, their whispers
hushed with terror, but I know too well what they are saying: "Watch
out; there's the ice-bitch, Lady Fuckin' Mars, Her Majesty's Secret
Service. You better hope you don't get her mad today; she'll have your
ass if you're not careful..."
I have a heart of stone, they say; a heart of steel, so cold
and bitter. I pay little attention to their words, however; they
cannot know the truth:
A girl without hope is a girl without heart--
--and Hino Rei's hopes are dead and gone, laid to rest beside
her true love's body...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Like it? Hate it? Tell me: aznvballgurl@yahoo.com