Summary: James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she's got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Nope. Nada. Zippo. It is fanfiction, after all!

Author's Note: Meep. Me bad author. I have just woken up from a long ficless sleep and have been making apologies in the author's notes of all my stories. To hear me grovel some more, go check my other fics out. But I'm SO sorry for the lack of updates!!

Oh, and I'd just like to say that this fic has an average of 32 REVIEWS per chapter!!! That is WONDERFUL!!! I love you guys. Keep up the plentiful reviews!!!

Roxanne

Chapter Four

By Lady Wildcat

James groaned. Sirius had used all the hot water again. Wrapping a towel around himself ((A/N: ooh, James in nothing but a towel...sorry)), he stepped back into the dorm. "Sirius, you used up the hot water."

Sirius, sitting on his bed in his candy-striped pajamas and fuzzy blue slippers (a secret with which his dormmates had been threatened with bodily harm if they let it slip), grinned. "Sorry, Jamesie. Try a charm."

"I stink at them, you do it."

Sirius pointed his wand towards the bathroom and said the water-heating charm. James felt his way back towards the shower (his glasses were sitting on top of his clothes in the bathroom) and, sure enough, the water was steaming hot.

He stepped into the shower and squirted Millicent's Magical Shampoo for Men into his crazy black hair. Chris' first date with Lily had inconveniently come after a particularly muddy Quidditch practice, and he didn't want Lily to see a trail of mud leading to his hiding place.

James rinsed the soap out and turned off the shower. He groped for his glasses and tapped them with his wand to get the steam off. The steamless mirror was clear as always—he'd really have to get Lily to charm his glasses in the same way.

Her name reminded him of what he was about to do. He pulled on some clean Muggle khakis and a thick green sweater. He borrowed Sirius' comb and attempted to flatten out his hair, wincing at his reflection.

Suddenly, instead of himself in the mirror, he saw Chris—burly, handsome, blond Chris. Chris was smiling, his teeth immaculately white. James touched the mirror, and Chris disappeared to be replaced by tall, skinny Potter, comb stuck in his black hair.

Shaking the image of Chris out of his head and pulling the comb out, James hung up the towel and left the bathroom.

Sirius looked up. "Goin' on that Lily thing?"

"Yeah."

"Is this with that guy Chris?" asked Remus from his bed, where he was reading.

"Uhuh."

Sirius gave James a glance. He was the only one out of the Marauders who really knew James' feelings for Lily. "You okay with this?"

"Padfoot, I can't let the guy down."

"Why can't he go on a date himself?" Peter set down his quill. "Seems t'me that he should win Lily over on his own."

"Yeah," answered Frank Longbottom, the other member of the seventh year Gryffindor boys. "He better be thanking you for this when he's through."

"I'll make sure of that."

James picked up his wand and left the dormitory. He was about to leap down the stairs when he noticed a flash of red hair disappearing into the girls' dorms. "Lily?"

"Aack!" Her head poked out the door. "Oh, God, James, it's you."

"Yes. Ready to go?"

"No, but I suppose I could try to be." She looked around nervously. "Listen, James..."

"Mhm?"

"Look--pretend for a sec that you're not my best friend and that you're attracted to me, okay? I need a male opinion."

"Okay."

She stepped out of the door. She was wearing a black skirt and white blouse, with her copper-colored hair tumbling down loosely around her shoulders. "How do I look?"

She was gorgeous to James, as usual. "Great. You look spectacular."

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Lily," he said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders, "if I weren't your best friend, I would ask you out in a heartbeat."

Which was completely true.

"Oh, you're so sweet." She took a deep breath. "Right. I think I'm ready now."

"Would you like an escort, Lady?" He held out his arm and bowed.

She laughed and put her arm in his. "Thank you, Sir James."

***

Chris was waiting in the garden for them. He was inspecting a rosebush when Lily and James arrived, still arm-in-arm. "Hey, Chris," said James.

Lily's date started nervously and turned, knocking over a garden bench in the process. "Hi, uh--whoops," he said as the bench careened onto the grassy path. He hastened to pick it up, and James lent a hand. "Thanks, James." Then Chris looked past James, his jaw dropping as he saw Lily.

"Hi, Lily," he began. "You look--uh, well, see, you look, um..."

"Stunning," whispered James. No reason not to start the process now.

"Stunning," finished Chris. "Really, really, really stunningly stunning. Uh, I mean--"

"Chris, enough," James growled lowly. He turned to Lily. "Well, I'll be off. I've got some Arithmancy homework to finish." He walked behind Lily, squeezed her shoulders, and nodded meaningfully at Chris, so he'd know what they were talking about.

"Oh, right," supplied Chris. "Arithmancy homework. Gotcha. Arithmancy, okay--" He stopped at James' subtle "Cut it" motion. "Well, have, um, fun."

"Thanks." James sauntered off leisurely down the path. Then, as he was just out of the couple's sight, he ducked into a nearby juniper bush.

Unfortunately, the juniper itched like hell. But he tried to ignore that as he said the spell that got him inside Chris' hearing.

"Well, Chris," he heard Lily say faintly, "why don't we sit on the bench and talk."

"Uh, uh..."

"Say okay," James hissed into his wand.

"James?" Chris said quizzically.

"James isn't here," said Lily, puzzled.

God. What an idiot the guy was. "Chris, listen to me. This is James, inside your hearing. Remember? We planned this out? Yesterday? This is so I can supply you with things to say to Lily."

There was a pause. "Oh. Right," said Chris.

"Chris, who are you talking to?" Lily seemed even more confused.

"Chris, Lily can't hear me. Now, sit down on the bench."

"Uh, okay. I'm not talking to anyone, Lily." There was a creaking of wood as Chris and Lily sat down, and a short silence.

"Right," said James. "So far okay. Now, say something about the night being beautiful."

"Uh, the night is really, uh, you know, beautiful."

"It really is," replied Lily.

"Now say how gorgeous the moon is."

"And the moon, it's, um, real gorgeous."

"Now say how Lily's like the moon."

"Yeah, and Lily, you're like the moon. You know, you're gorgeous and all. But you're not made of cheese."

Pause. "Um...thank you?" said Lily tentatively.

James rubbed his forehead. It was going to be a long first date.

Author's Note: Hee. I love making Chris dumb. Makes James seem smarter. Anyway, sorry again for the lack of updates, and I'll re-rent Roxanne and check out Cyrano so I can do the famous, sappy, James-is-so-wonderful-and-romantic-and-self-sacrificing balcony speech.

Best,

Lady Wildcat