Disclaimers: The FB characters do not belong to me. They are the creation of Takaya Natsuki.

A/N: Akito's an interesting character, ne? U never know what's going on in his mind, leaving all sort of possibilities. Here's what my little fic on the reason he's all demented, and sadist-like.

The italicized stuff R flashbacks BTW.

Reflections

I laid out on the platform feeling the warmth of the sun upon my skin. A bird flew and landed on my hand. I looked at it and told it, "You know what? Hatori just came by for my bi-weekly check-up. Although he didn't say it, I know I'm dying soon. Very soon. I could see it in his eyes, the conflict between being thankful that I'll finally be gone and sorrow for losing a patient. But I'm not afraid. Death doesn't scare me. I knew it would come. Death has always been behind me since the day I was born, and now it has finally caught up with me. No, I'm not scared. But, I am afraid, afraid that…

"Otousan, you ok?"

"No. I'll die soon."

I was just 3 and didn't understand the concept of death, then but I knew it was bad, "Tousan, no die."

"Death isn't something to fear. I welcome it. It has tortured my body long enough. It happens to everyone. It is inescapable. But I wish…I wish I left my mark. Some proof of my existence after I'm gone…to see my existence in others…to see that I live on, in others…"

I didn't understand…

"… afraid that I'll be forgotten when I'm gone."

Another bird came and joined the first bird beside me. I looked at them, "Are you 2 friends? You are very lucky. Even you have friends…but me…

I walked up to Shigure, grabbed his sleeve high above my head, and tugged on it lightly, "Shigure-niisan, play with me."

He looked down at me surprised, "Akito-san, you shouldn't be out here. You might get sick. I better take you back inside."

I didn't understand, 'Why? Why is he suddenly so serious? Why won't be play with me like he does with Yuki, Kyou, and the others?'

.

I spotted Haru and Momiji, outside playing hide and seek. It looked like fun. I want to play too, so I went out. They were playing rock, paper, scissors to see who hides and who seeks. I put out paper. They looked at me surprised.

I smiled, "I want to play too."

"…"

I could feel the awkwardness, but I pretended it didn't exist.

Finally Haru said, "We're told, we can't play with Akito-san."

.

"Kaasan, why? Why won't they play with me?" I asked sobbing.

"Because you are different. Special. You rule them. They must listen to you."

"But I don't want different. I want to play with them."

Kaasan slapped me, and said harshly, "You are to rule the Sohma family! And rule them you shall. You are your father's only successor. Now stop crying! You are not here to make friends. You will always be alone. It is your destiny. They are nothing, but filthy creatures…half-beast, just the sight of them makes me sick! They are the reason for your weak body. They are not your friends. Do you hear me Akito?"

'Why kaasan hated them,' I wondered, 'am I not like them?'

I didn't understand…

I grabbed the 2 birds and tighten my grip on them, they were chirping loudly for help, "Why? Why does everyone have a caring friend or family, but me?! Why? Why are they all so lucky?!"

I panted, out of breath. Slowly I calmed down, released my grip on them and one flew away, "Yes, leave me. Everyone else does. Otousan, okaasan…everyone…"

I looked at the other lifeless bird in my hand and blinked, "Do you know what the hardest word to say is? Sumimasen. I wanted to say that to people, but I can't… Why, why did they have to anger me? How dare they try to leave me…

"Hatori…he takes such good care of me, looking after me, checking to see if I'm ok… But then he wanted to leave me for her, Kana!! That stupid bitch! It's her fault Hatori got hurt! Her fault I got so angry. All her fault!! That weak-minded baka! She wasn't good enough for him. He's mine. Like all the other Sohma. They need me, as much as I need them… I won't allow anyone to take them away from me…

"Not even another Sohma, like Kisa. She tried to steal Hiro away from me. Yes, all the Sohma are mine. Especially…

"Yuki… I love him most. Because he is most like me. Like me, he's got no friends and is distant, never allowing anyone to get close…set apart from other people… No one can get close, not even his brother. I like seeing him in pain…like me."

I smiled softly, "Yes…I like seeing the reflection of myself within him, because…"

I coughed and streaks of blood came out in my phlegm, "I'm sorry for what I've done, but I don't regret doing it, because…"

It was kaasan's funeral, lots of people attended, but none of them looked sad. I finally understand…

I know, like okaasan, I wouldn't be missed after I die. But I vow that I will be remembered! Whether for good…or bad. I will be remembered.

I was beginning to feel cold now as the sun began to set. I got up and straightened my kimono. I walked into the garden and began digging a shallow grave for the bird.

I smiled and wondered, 'Who will attend my funeral? Who will say the eulogy? It doesn't matter though, because…they won't forget me. Not ever.'

The End

A/N: So what do U think? Pls, review. Flames R welcome.