Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, George Lucas does, blah blah blah...
A/N: This is sort of a companion to my other Star Wars story, "Everything," which is the opposite of this story-it's what Anakin thinks of Obi-Wan. It's not necessary to read one before the other, or even to read both of them at all, but you'd probably enjoy it better. I figure that this takes place somewhere in the midpoint between Episodes One and Two, when Anakin is 15 or so. Sigh...I would have liked to put everything in Obi-Wan's trance in italics, but italics won't come out on FanFiction.Net from my stories, for some reason...anyway, on with the show!
A Light In The Darkness
Obi-Wan was trying to perform a very certain type of meditation.
He was sitting in one of the small, private meditation chambers in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and he was greatly in need of some peace, quiet, and insight, so he had decided to try this type of meditation.
Instead of focusing on one specific thing and going into a relaxed state as most meditators would do, he was going to let his mind wander and attempt a relaxed state at the same time. It was a difficult goal to attain, because once the mind was let loose it might go anywhere, and to places not especially good or helpful, and Obi-Wan didn't want that. So in essence, he had to be extremely focused and not focused at all at the same time.
Once mastered, however, this type of meditation *could* be very helpful. For it is when the mind is set free that that the best ideas, thoughts, and reflections are opened up.
So he took a deep breath, making himself relax his aching muscles. He was very tired after a particularly hard mission to Alderaan with Anakin, and he had just returned to the Temple. A good meditative trance was just what he needed.
Anakin...Obi-Wan mentally sighed. Anakin, Anakin was whom he needed to think about. And so, sitting up straight, he let his thoughts wander away from him.
Anakin had been a shy boy-missing his mother terribly, shaken by Qui Gon's death, and unnerved by his own success during the battle on Naboo. He had been a bit cold and resenting towards Obi-Wan, most likely having sensed and remembered Obi-Wan's original dislike of him.
Obi-Wan, however, tried to be a responsible Jedi and push away the grudge that he had held, if even for a short time, against the young boy. *This boy is my Padawan now,* He had told himself firmly. *We must establish a good relationship!* A good relationship, although taking a little more time that most Master/Padawan relationships did, eventually was developed.
In the beginning, when Obi-Wan and Anakin shared a small apartment in the Jedi Temple, before Anakin was ready to go on any missions, Obi-Wan had felt a fondness for the boy growing in his heart. He was touched by his curiosity, his politeness, his innocence, his willingness to learn, and- within time-the trust that he placed upon his Master. There were several accounts during their first three or four missions that Anakin had placed, sometimes quite literally, his entire life into his Master's hand. At the time, this had unnerved Obi-Wan somewhat, but as Anakin grew older, he found that the boy had grown very dear to him. He would have willingly put his life in danger to save him, and he was sure that Anakin-had he been capable of doing so-would have done the same.
As he grew older, Anakin became more rebellious. At first Obi-Wan had thought that this was normal behavior for a teenager, even for a Jedi Padawan. At some point, he thought, all teenagers became rebellious-he certainly had-but Anakin's rebelliousness remained, never growing or shrinking with age. He would sometimes try to defy Obi-Wan's orders.
*He's definitely good at heart,* Obi-Wan presently thought dreamily, still in his trance. *He just needs to learn to control himself, and listen to people...*
Problem was, Anakin didn't particularly *like* listening to people, especially when they were telling him things that he didn't want to hear. He was a tough one, Anakin.
Obi-Wan thought part of it was probably because of how the Jedi Council viewed him. Although all the members of the Council had accepted that he was now Obi-Wan's padawan, and that he was to become a Jedi, they were still more wary of him than of the other padawans his age, watching his actions and his progress more closely than they did many others. And for many members of the Council, their feelings were so strongly against Anakin that Obi-Wan could sometimes feel that they truly doubted him at times.
Obi-Wan knew that all of this startled, unnerved, and even frightened his padawan a bit-if truth be told, it startled, unnerved, and frightened him as well-and as a result, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin felt even more obliged to do better than the other padawans, to surpass his own boundaries. Although that was all well and good, to set high goals for your self, Obi-Wan sometimes worried that Anakin was being too hard on himself whenever he didn't reach those goals...it seemed as if he was trying to attain something that-at his level-he couldn't attain, and as a result was angry with himself...
Obi-Wan sighed, releasing him self completely out of the trance. His mind had gotten so worked up; he hadn't been under the trance for a while now.
Although...he did feel, physically, a little better. He got to his feet and stretched, noting with satisfaction that he did, indeed, feel a lot better than he had before. For a moment he considered going out and finding Anakin, maybe getting a little more training in before his padawan disappeared to explore the woods around the Temple, but then decided not to. He was tired, Anakin was tired, they both needed a break.
Instead, he turned and, pressed a button on the wall of the chamber, making the back wall of the chamber transparent so he could see out into the activity of Coruscant. Falling back to lean against the wall, he watched the speeders pass by, and people rushing in and out of the buildings below him. Obi-Wan smiled faintly, taking comfort in the sight. He had been an initiate in the Jedi Temple, so Coruscant was where he had grown up, and it felt like home to him.
As he gazed lazily out onto the planet, Obi-Wan's thoughts wandered back to his padawan. Anakin was human just as Obi-Wan was, with weaknesses and strengths, the same as any Jedi. Obi-Wan knew that Anakin was a very good person, he truly had a heart of gold, but people with "hearts of gold" were often frightened of their negative feelings-anger, hate-and would sometimes give into them.
But Obi-Wan could tell when Anakin needed help, and he would always help him, bringing him up to a level where he could do things on his own. After all, not only was Anakin his apprentice-and a boy who was growing to become quite like a son to him-but he was a good friend. *A friend in need is a friend, indeed...*
Obi-Wan had faith in the boy, just like Qui Gon had had. He had faith that he would be alright, no matter what the Council thought. He had faith that he would someday turn out to be a wonderful Jedi, regardless of what happened between now and that day. Although Obi-Wan would admit that there was sometimes Darkness present within him and that his future was extremely clouded, there was always Light as well...and somewhere in the back of Obi- Wan's mind, he had the hunch that there always will be some amount of Light, despite of everything that may happen. A light in the darkness, if you will...
Obi-Wan stood up straight all of a sudden, shaking his head violently. What had just happened? Had he gone unwillingly into a trance? And was all that about Darkness and Light...and there was that flash of foreshadowing...
He shivered in the warm night air, slightly startled by his own thoughts. He wasn't sure whether he had been dreaming, or in a trance, or what, but...
*I need to get more sleep,* He decided finally. And if he was very tired, Anakin was probably the same as well. Sleep...yes, sleep was a good idea.
He left the meditation chamber, sliding the door closed behind him, and went off to find his padawan.
A/N: Well, how'd you like it? Review please! Feedback=happy me. And don't you just love making people happy? :( This is a little different from "Everything," it has a different feel to it, I think. I think I like this one better, though. I liked writing about the light somewhere in the darkness...Obi-Wan has faith in Anakin, which is basically lost when Anakin turns on him and later kills him. But then it's back, at the end of The Return of the Jedi...anyway, review! And as always, thanks a lot for reading!
A/N: This is sort of a companion to my other Star Wars story, "Everything," which is the opposite of this story-it's what Anakin thinks of Obi-Wan. It's not necessary to read one before the other, or even to read both of them at all, but you'd probably enjoy it better. I figure that this takes place somewhere in the midpoint between Episodes One and Two, when Anakin is 15 or so. Sigh...I would have liked to put everything in Obi-Wan's trance in italics, but italics won't come out on FanFiction.Net from my stories, for some reason...anyway, on with the show!
A Light In The Darkness
Obi-Wan was trying to perform a very certain type of meditation.
He was sitting in one of the small, private meditation chambers in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and he was greatly in need of some peace, quiet, and insight, so he had decided to try this type of meditation.
Instead of focusing on one specific thing and going into a relaxed state as most meditators would do, he was going to let his mind wander and attempt a relaxed state at the same time. It was a difficult goal to attain, because once the mind was let loose it might go anywhere, and to places not especially good or helpful, and Obi-Wan didn't want that. So in essence, he had to be extremely focused and not focused at all at the same time.
Once mastered, however, this type of meditation *could* be very helpful. For it is when the mind is set free that that the best ideas, thoughts, and reflections are opened up.
So he took a deep breath, making himself relax his aching muscles. He was very tired after a particularly hard mission to Alderaan with Anakin, and he had just returned to the Temple. A good meditative trance was just what he needed.
Anakin...Obi-Wan mentally sighed. Anakin, Anakin was whom he needed to think about. And so, sitting up straight, he let his thoughts wander away from him.
Anakin had been a shy boy-missing his mother terribly, shaken by Qui Gon's death, and unnerved by his own success during the battle on Naboo. He had been a bit cold and resenting towards Obi-Wan, most likely having sensed and remembered Obi-Wan's original dislike of him.
Obi-Wan, however, tried to be a responsible Jedi and push away the grudge that he had held, if even for a short time, against the young boy. *This boy is my Padawan now,* He had told himself firmly. *We must establish a good relationship!* A good relationship, although taking a little more time that most Master/Padawan relationships did, eventually was developed.
In the beginning, when Obi-Wan and Anakin shared a small apartment in the Jedi Temple, before Anakin was ready to go on any missions, Obi-Wan had felt a fondness for the boy growing in his heart. He was touched by his curiosity, his politeness, his innocence, his willingness to learn, and- within time-the trust that he placed upon his Master. There were several accounts during their first three or four missions that Anakin had placed, sometimes quite literally, his entire life into his Master's hand. At the time, this had unnerved Obi-Wan somewhat, but as Anakin grew older, he found that the boy had grown very dear to him. He would have willingly put his life in danger to save him, and he was sure that Anakin-had he been capable of doing so-would have done the same.
As he grew older, Anakin became more rebellious. At first Obi-Wan had thought that this was normal behavior for a teenager, even for a Jedi Padawan. At some point, he thought, all teenagers became rebellious-he certainly had-but Anakin's rebelliousness remained, never growing or shrinking with age. He would sometimes try to defy Obi-Wan's orders.
*He's definitely good at heart,* Obi-Wan presently thought dreamily, still in his trance. *He just needs to learn to control himself, and listen to people...*
Problem was, Anakin didn't particularly *like* listening to people, especially when they were telling him things that he didn't want to hear. He was a tough one, Anakin.
Obi-Wan thought part of it was probably because of how the Jedi Council viewed him. Although all the members of the Council had accepted that he was now Obi-Wan's padawan, and that he was to become a Jedi, they were still more wary of him than of the other padawans his age, watching his actions and his progress more closely than they did many others. And for many members of the Council, their feelings were so strongly against Anakin that Obi-Wan could sometimes feel that they truly doubted him at times.
Obi-Wan knew that all of this startled, unnerved, and even frightened his padawan a bit-if truth be told, it startled, unnerved, and frightened him as well-and as a result, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin felt even more obliged to do better than the other padawans, to surpass his own boundaries. Although that was all well and good, to set high goals for your self, Obi-Wan sometimes worried that Anakin was being too hard on himself whenever he didn't reach those goals...it seemed as if he was trying to attain something that-at his level-he couldn't attain, and as a result was angry with himself...
Obi-Wan sighed, releasing him self completely out of the trance. His mind had gotten so worked up; he hadn't been under the trance for a while now.
Although...he did feel, physically, a little better. He got to his feet and stretched, noting with satisfaction that he did, indeed, feel a lot better than he had before. For a moment he considered going out and finding Anakin, maybe getting a little more training in before his padawan disappeared to explore the woods around the Temple, but then decided not to. He was tired, Anakin was tired, they both needed a break.
Instead, he turned and, pressed a button on the wall of the chamber, making the back wall of the chamber transparent so he could see out into the activity of Coruscant. Falling back to lean against the wall, he watched the speeders pass by, and people rushing in and out of the buildings below him. Obi-Wan smiled faintly, taking comfort in the sight. He had been an initiate in the Jedi Temple, so Coruscant was where he had grown up, and it felt like home to him.
As he gazed lazily out onto the planet, Obi-Wan's thoughts wandered back to his padawan. Anakin was human just as Obi-Wan was, with weaknesses and strengths, the same as any Jedi. Obi-Wan knew that Anakin was a very good person, he truly had a heart of gold, but people with "hearts of gold" were often frightened of their negative feelings-anger, hate-and would sometimes give into them.
But Obi-Wan could tell when Anakin needed help, and he would always help him, bringing him up to a level where he could do things on his own. After all, not only was Anakin his apprentice-and a boy who was growing to become quite like a son to him-but he was a good friend. *A friend in need is a friend, indeed...*
Obi-Wan had faith in the boy, just like Qui Gon had had. He had faith that he would be alright, no matter what the Council thought. He had faith that he would someday turn out to be a wonderful Jedi, regardless of what happened between now and that day. Although Obi-Wan would admit that there was sometimes Darkness present within him and that his future was extremely clouded, there was always Light as well...and somewhere in the back of Obi- Wan's mind, he had the hunch that there always will be some amount of Light, despite of everything that may happen. A light in the darkness, if you will...
Obi-Wan stood up straight all of a sudden, shaking his head violently. What had just happened? Had he gone unwillingly into a trance? And was all that about Darkness and Light...and there was that flash of foreshadowing...
He shivered in the warm night air, slightly startled by his own thoughts. He wasn't sure whether he had been dreaming, or in a trance, or what, but...
*I need to get more sleep,* He decided finally. And if he was very tired, Anakin was probably the same as well. Sleep...yes, sleep was a good idea.
He left the meditation chamber, sliding the door closed behind him, and went off to find his padawan.
A/N: Well, how'd you like it? Review please! Feedback=happy me. And don't you just love making people happy? :( This is a little different from "Everything," it has a different feel to it, I think. I think I like this one better, though. I liked writing about the light somewhere in the darkness...Obi-Wan has faith in Anakin, which is basically lost when Anakin turns on him and later kills him. But then it's back, at the end of The Return of the Jedi...anyway, review! And as always, thanks a lot for reading!