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_ ((A/N: OH WOW! It has been ages. No real excuse for me. But I'm getting better! I have a chappie for this one and for Innocent Deceptions. I'm bucking up. You all need some stuff to read and I need some stuff to do!

Disclaimer: Um, we don't really need to do this, now do we?

Searching Blindly

Chapter 3

Monty galloped across the fields behind the Evans residence. "Atta boy, Monty." Lily breathlessly murmured into his ear. He quickened his pace, even though his sides were already heaving. She pulled her left rein, heading for the fence. She loosened the reins, counted the strides, and then-

"Lily!" A voice called from the stables.

Jesus! Monty spooked at the call and she barely had time to turn him away from the fence they were planning on jumping. His sides heaved, with nervousness as well as exhaustion. Lily quickly dismounted and shot a very annoyed glance up to the person who called. She set her head against her horse and spoke gently to him until he calmed down.

Finally, she took the reins in one hand and slowly began walking up to the stables. Someone was leaning against the fence. Ignoring them, her vision blurred, she led Monty into his stall and untacked him. Hearing footsteps, she began to speak as tears began to fall.

"Do you have any idea what you could have done to him? To me?" She was quivering now from the rage she was trying to contain. She struggled to control herself. "A thoroughbred couldn't have taken that! He would have had to be put down. Do you realize this?" Calmly, Lily. Anger is not going to help you now. She wanted to hit something, anything.

She whirled around suddenly. "Do you have any clue what that could have done?" Her jaw dropped as she recognized the person. Remus? A very pale, worried Remus stood in the doorway of the stall.

"Lily? I am so sorry. I didn't think-I didn't know-" He tried to apologize, fumbling as he went.

She brushed the tears away. Stop crying, you pansy. That's a weakness. "Remus."

"God, Lil. I'm so sorry. Is he-Are you? Is anything wrong? Will it- is it alright?"

Monty shoved his nose into Remus's palm and whuffed softly.

Lily chucked even as she snuffled one last time. "He forgives you, so do I."

She met his eyes and smiled gently. He smiled back quavering. "I'm so sorry."

"I know you didn't mean to. It's fine." She laid a hand on Monty. "He and I are getting along wonderfully. We're thinking about competing, aren't we, boy?"

His smile brightened. "That's great! You looked really good out there!" Remus blushed lightly. Lily did look different. Goodness, she was beautiful. She glowed or something. Wow.

Catching his appraising glance, she bit her lip to hide a smile. The weight was almost gone. She was almost happy.. almost. Calories-She pushed the thought out of her head. This was a friend. Actually, the only person from school to see her all summer. They'd have to chat, of course.

"Thank you. Monty here is a great horse. He could go really far." She patted the bay fondly before leaving the stall. Brushing off her jeans and tank top (worn in as best she could, having only owned them for a summer), she glanced at him quizzically. "Why are you here anyway? I mean, it's a pleasant surprise, but usually."

He grinned at her. "Yes, usually, I would be here for dinner and you would be all dolled up, not coming straight from the pasture!"

She laughed, knowing that he knew the intricacies as well as she. "Precisely!"

"Who knows, some lawyerly sort of thing." He shrugged. "But anyway, it's been a few weeks, hasn't it?"

Lily nodded. "Sure has. Actually, I believe it was about 6 weeks. School'll be starting in about the same, won't it?" What was left in her summer? The 30 pounds was gone. Maybe 10 more. Get hair cut, buy new robes. Lily, pay attention to your guest.

Leaning against the wall, he nodded. "Something like that. You're the mathematical one."

She laughed. "Can't really wait for it to start. I'll miss things, of course. I'm anticipating school a bit more than usual." Unknowingly, a wolfish grin spread across her face. Ananda Pruett? Oh, she was going down.

Remus looked at her quizzically. "And what might you be anticipating?"

Lily gauged him cautiously. Oh, why not? He is the only person you could even semi consider a friend. "Reactions, I suppose. To me. To the way I am now."

He raised his eyebrows. She was so unpredictable. He never knew what she'd do or say. "You mean, no longer being Chubby?"

"Well, yes. You have to understand, love. I'm invincible." Another devilish smile spread across her face, thinking of the dropped jaws and stuttering she could expect. "My goal is essentially achieved. Everyone is in for a shock. After they realize that I'm not some exchange student, they'll about have a cow when they find out that I am.. well, who I am."

He looked at her with concern in his golden eyes. How much weight was it safe to lose? She really had lost a lot. But it was Lily Evans. Above all, the girl was smart. She probably discovered some miracle diet and will become world famous for it. He shrugged off the bad feeling he had. "Interesting plan."

"Oh, it is." She motioned with her hand up towards the manor. "Care to head up? Or would you like to take a ride? Monty never got a full cool down. I'd hate to leave him like that."

He smiled at her. "Sure. Why not? I'm not great, but I'd love to see you jump some."

Tossing him a helmet, she winked. How weird to be this informal with him. But I suppose.that's how friends are. "Alright. But you are so tacking up your own horse. Aaron's off today. When are we to be back?"

He grimaced. "Mum and Pop had some argument with the Ministry again. It should be a while."

"Fair enough. Met me out here in a few." ~*~

"Jeez, Lily. How far does this trail go?" Remus shifted uncomfortably.

Lily smirked. Someone hasn't been riding recently. "Been a while since you've ridden?"

"Yeah, well.. When I left for Hogwarts, we sold our horses. It has been a while, actually. Take it easy on me."

They neared a bend in the path. The trees parted and the now fading sunlight glistened off water. Blue-green water in a lake appeared.

Remus drew in a breath. "Man, does that look good."

Lily smiled at him. "I agree. But we're not quite where I want to be."

He rolled his eyes and followed her as she led the way around the lake. On the other side, there was a space in between the trees, with a bench that overlooked the mountains. Lily quickly dismounted. "The sun will be setting in about 10 minutes, I'd say. Would you like to watch it?"

Remus nodded, his muscles whining as he dismounted. He grabbed her reins and quickly tethered both horses to a near by tree.

Returning, he found Lily sprawled on the grass, playing with some clover. Lying down beside her, he picked up a clover as well. Fiddling with it for a moment, he snuck a glance at Lily. She was so smart, so funny, and so absolutely perfect. Not to mention gorgeous.

Lily felt his gaze on her. She turned her head and met his eyes, a small smile playing upon her lips. He looked so adorably vulnerable. On a whim, she lifted a hand to brush his hair away from his eyes. "Yes?" She said playfully. Do I-I think I want him to kiss me.. I think I really might.

Meeting her eyes with all seriousness, Remus leaned in slowly. Shock flew through Lily's eyes like a cool wind in a forest. Hesitating slightly, she closed them as Remus closed the distance.

It was nice. No fireworks or anything, but for her first kiss, she imagined it wasn't at all bad. Very sturdy, dependable. She felt protected, secure. Remus caught her lower lip lightly in his teeth, but before the kiss could deepen, Lily pulled away quietly. She smiled at him slowly.

"The sun is setting." The first thing that came to mind popped out. You idiot! That'll be 500 calories of this week's total! I can't believe you just said that. Lily stopped herself before a blush came on.

Remus lifted his arm around her shoulders and she nestled her head near his shoulder. "Lily?"

"Hmm?" She questioned, very content and warm.

"I was wondering if.if well, if you might like to be my..girlfriend." He was staring off into the sunset, not wanting to look at her. He hoped she didn't think he sounded idiotic. That wasn't exactly planned well, old boy. He could hear James now. Gee, Remus, you think it might have sounded a tad less superficial if you'd waited a bit? Then he'd make some snide comment about how would James know about not being superficial and James would answer that he only had to know how to sound as though he wasn't.

"Sure." Lily said softly, her quiet voice pulling him away from his thoughts. He shot her a grin. She winked back.

"Probably ought to head back up."

"True." However, neither moved. The sun disappeared behind a mountain, and Lily realized that if she didn't hurry, they would be back later than they should. Apparently, the same thought occurred to Remus. He stood and offered her a hand.

The ride back was fairly silent, but not in a very awkward way. Lily was thinking of Remus. The fact that he was a were-wolf was unimportant. They were absolutely normal 30 days and 29 nights of the month. But she wasn't supposed to know. And she couldn't very well say that her father had told her. The whole practioner-client confidentiality law stood in her way there. It would have been possible for her to figure it out. She had been close to figuring it out anyway, she rationalized to herself.

Remus had thoughts of his own, even though it was on a quite similar topic. Remus, old boy, how smart was that? You ought to have explained about.you. The way you are. She should have been told. What if she finds out? What if-

"Lily?" As they neared the stable, she heard Spacey call her. "Lily! Coffee and dessert in 45 minutes. Your guests will be joining you" She nudged Monty into a trot, hearing Remus do the same behind her on Rocky.

"Thank you, Spacey. We will be ready by then." Lily called in her practiced voice. Remus chuckled.

"What?" She turned around indignantly.

He smiled. "It's just.you sound remarkably like me. The company voice and all. So practiced and perfect and look-at-me-I'm-the-little-hostess."

She elbowed him lightly, as the led the horses in. "Ha! You have one too. Hello, Mr. Evans. The pleasure is all mine." She mimicked him, doing a remarkably good impression.

"The stables are right this way!" He mimicked her back. She giggled and rolled her eyes. "Just go put your horse up, smartie!"

In Monty's stall, as Lily ran a brush over him, Remus's arm slithered around her shoulders. He pulled her closer and leaned in for a kiss.

"Lily, Mum said I could come talk to you and Remus for a bit-EEK!" Petunia's surprised shriek shocked them both. "What are you two doing?!?!?"

"Petty?" Lily pulled back immediately, her mind racing. "Petty, darling, well, you see.."

"Are you Lily's boyfriend?" She asked Remus, ignoring Lily altogether.

"Yes, doll, that I am." He said in an amused voice.

"Oh." The young blonde pouted at her sister. "You didn't tell me that."

"Well, Pet, it only happened recently. I would have told you! I know that I can trust you, especially about things I need you not to tell Mum and Papa, right?" Lily nodded at her little sister, trying to use all her powers of persuasion.

"You can!" Petty wrapped her arms around her sister. "Put me on Monty!"

Obligingly, Lily put her sister on top of Monty cafefully. "When's the last time you rode Bloke?" Petty shrugged.

"Don't you want to be a good rider?" Lily chided gently.

"Lil," Remus said quietly, knowing better than to be late. "Maybe we ought to head up to the house."

"True. Come now, Pet. Could you keep Remus amused for me while I go change clothes?"

Petty nodded excitedly, grabbing Remus' hand. "I can show you my dolls and my pretend bake set and my-" Her voice faded as they went up the path.

Lily quickly finished up in the stable and headed up after them. Sprinting up the back steps, she went to her room and quickly pulled on a pair of grey cordoroy pants and a blue shirt. Washed her face, dabbed on a bit of make up, and then pulled her hair out of the sloppy pony tail into a semi- decent head band. She left the room and headed to Petty's play room, where she heard Petty's voice happily talking.

"All right, dears. I suppose you're almost ready?" Lily said as she reached the doorway.

Petty began to pout. "But I want to play with Remus."

"Here, doll." He lifted her up onto her shoulders. "You can go downstairs like this, how's that?"

She smiled, thrilled by the height. "Look, Lily, I'm taller than you!"

"Sure thing, love." Lily smiled at her sister, and they went down the stairs, pausing to take Petunia off his shoulders near the bottom. "Appearances, darling." Lily murmured. "Remember the game I told you about?" Petunia nodded.

They entered the sitting room, where their parents were speaking quietly. Her father smiled warmly at them. "Hello. Remus, I trust Lily has kept you entertained this afternoon?"

"Oh yes, of course. I had a perfectly wonderful time." He leaned down to kiss his mother on the cheek and took a seat in a nearby armchair. Lily smiled at her mother and also sat down, Petunia right by her side. Conversation began, but of course it was the boring kind. Lily made all the appropriate noises and let her thoughts trail. Spacey brought out coffee for the adults and hot chocolate for herself, Remus and Petty. Small dishes of ice cream were then passed about.

Lily ate a few bites, throwing an occasional glance at Remus. Gosh. She had a boyfriend. Lily Evans had a boyfriend! And he was a Marauder. Which by no means was why she accepted! No. It was a plus, however. It was over fairly quickly and Lily's thoughts took up most of the time.

She smiled as the Lupins prepared to leave. "Pleasure seeing you all." She said politely as they exited. The pleasantries were always to be observed, of course. The responses were made and the house was once again full of only her family.

Lily headed to the kitchen and grabbed a celery stick and a glass of ice water. Why was she so hungry? She'd eaten two bites of ice cream! Not to mention that glass of orange juice for breakfast. She indulged in one more celery stick and headed up the stairs humming to herself.

She was going to get her haircut tomorrow. It would be wonderful. She would be wonderful. She smiled and blew a kiss to her reflection. It would all be perfect.

~*~

((A/N: Long very uneventful chapter. But I suppose that's what these late night things do to you. Well, good luck. Please review, sorry it took so long. OH, and whoever commented on Lily and Remus getting together, good call! Lol thanks so much to everyone for reviewing.))

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