TEKKEN RUGBY?...............ok.........
By space-monkey
I don't own Tekken and I don't claim to, but if I did you can be damn sure I'd make them bring out a new Tekken game more often than once every few years :(
Author's note: Ok, well I'm sorry about chapter one, I was still kind of "finding my feet" but now that I've found them, I'm gonna weld them onto my legs......anyway, on with the story!
Chapter Two
Think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children!
Heihachi had announced his "King Of Iron Fist" tournament number five to the world. There were adverts for it on every billboard and tv channel in the world, after all, being a financial giant helps get you attention.
Heihachi had invited the selected competitors to his "ultra-secret-super-hidden" meeting room, the one with the large sign outside it saying "you are not here", in the hopes of confusing people who hadn't been told the secret of the door (which was that you really ARE here).
So, sitting in the big plush chairs that he had flown in specially for this meeting, were Kazuya, Jun, Jin, Lee, Hwoarang, Julia, Xiaoyu, Bryan, Paul... basically every Tekken character except Devil, Angel and Gon (can you imagine him trying to play rugby?)
"Hello, I am sure that you all know why I have gathered you here today-" began Heihachi, rising from his seat
"Is it because you need more volunteers to change your diapers?" called out Kazuya, to the amusement of everyone but Heihachi
"NO! I have an issue to discuss with all of you-" said Heihachi, trying to quiet down the room
"Good for you old man, finally coming out of the closet are ya?" called Kazuya again
Around the room the stifled laughter of various fighters could be heard
"NO! WILL YOU SHUT UP KAZUYA!!!" yelled Heihachi, "I have gathered you here today to tell you, I am going to hold another tournament"
"Wow, that's a shocker, with all the adverts outside I would never have guessed that" said Hwoarang in a very sarcastic tone of voice.
"Yes, well, anyway, I thought I should tell you the next tournament is going to be held in a week"
"ONE WEEK!" shouted Paul, that's hardly enough time for me to get my hair up!
Everyone in the room looks at Paul
"Well it does, I happen to take time over my appearance - unlike some of you" said Paul, lovingly stroking his hair and looking at Hwoarang.
"Hey, you want some of this, punk!?" said Hwoarang, jumping up to Paul
"Well, he does have a point you know Rang, I mean what, didn't you have time to change out of your army gear when you escaped?" said Julia
Hwoarang sits back down, blushing slightly "well, I thought you would like a man in uniform Julia"
"......now that's just WRONG Hwoarang" said Jin, staring at Hwoarang.
"Will you all just shut up for a second!" shouted Kazuya, standing up and looking at Heihachi "look old man, maybe your memory is failing in your old age, so I'll give you a gentle reminder, it takes MONTHS to get into shape for a tournament like this, one week just isn't enough time!".
"But I thought you stayed in shape all the time Kazzy" said Anna, smiling seductively at him
"Hey, give me a break will you? I just discovered Italian food!" said Kazuya, while Jun gave the look of death to Anna.
"Look, will you all stop bickering!" shouted Heihachi "I am holding the tournament in one week's time because... well.. I feel that I am beginning to age-"
"So it's finally sunk in eh?" said Kazuya "but it's ok old man, not everyone stays looking as young and healthy as me you know"
"......err, anyway, I want another tournament as soon as possible, partly to stop the rumours that I am an ageing old fartbag, as some people have been telling the press" at this Heihachi glares at Kazuya "and partly because, well, I feel my time is near, and I want another tournament to prove that... I will miss you all..." Heihachi starts getting all teary-eyed and around the room, sniffles can be heard, even Kazuya looks sombre
"Awww, the poor old man" whispered Julia to her mother "you know, for a heartless scheming, evil guy, he's actually quite sentimental"
"MISS KICKING YOUR BUTTS ALL DAY LONG THAT IS!!!!" shouted Heihachi suddenly
"I take back what I just said" whispered Julia, with a drab look on her face.
"So, the tournament is in one week, you don't attend and my Tekkenshu will execute you!" with this, armed members of Heihachi's private goon squad, the tekken force, rush into the room.
"But Heihachi, we really do need more than one week to get back in shape for another Tekken tournament, can't you think of something else?" moaned Xiaoyu
"How about we bowl again?" suggested Gun Jack
"NO!" screamed everyone else
"That was way unfair, you had the little targeter-thingy to help you!" said Julia
"Hmmm, how about tennis?
"NO!"
"Football?"
"NO!"
"C'mon people, we need something that's really physical, but requires very little in the way of training" said Heihachi
"What about Rugby?" said Steve, speaking for the first time.
"Rugby? What the hell is that?" asked Christie
"Good lord girl, you mean you don't know what Rugby is?" asked Steve, taken aback
".........well, I bet YOU don't know what it is either!"
"Look, if I didn't know what it was, then why would I...... oh forget it" said Steve, exasperated
"No go on, tell us" said Heihachi, intrigued by this 'rugby' (A/n: Let's just pretend that he doesn't know ok?)
"Well basically, it's like American football-"
"Great, I love that!" said Jin, happy that they were actually going to do something HE liked for once.
"-except without the helmet, padding, and protective gear"
Jin's face fell "oh, not so great then"
"It's PERFECT!!!" beamed Heihachi, delighted at the idea of this brutal sport "ok, then, I hereby announce the first ever 'Tekken Rugby' tournament!" and with that he left the room
"Did he even say where it would be?" asked Jun, puzzled
"Oh great, come on, we better catch up to him" said Kazuya, running out of the room and motioning the others to follow.
As the other fighters left the room, Jun tapped Anna on the shoulder
"Anna?"
"Yes Jun?" asked Anna politely
"Just a friendly heads-up, if you ever call my husband 'Kazzy' again, I will tear out your lungs and use them for bagpipes, ok?" said Jun, ending with a broad happy smile and walking off after Kazuya, leaving a shocked Anna to stare after her.
*********
So, whaddya think?
By the way, some of the ideas for this fic are taken from "tekken paintball tournament" by Makaveli, I love your fics! And I hope you don't mind me using them for a bit of inspiration ok?
Tell me what you think, review!
By space-monkey
I don't own Tekken and I don't claim to, but if I did you can be damn sure I'd make them bring out a new Tekken game more often than once every few years :(
Author's note: Ok, well I'm sorry about chapter one, I was still kind of "finding my feet" but now that I've found them, I'm gonna weld them onto my legs......anyway, on with the story!
Chapter Two
Think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children!
Heihachi had announced his "King Of Iron Fist" tournament number five to the world. There were adverts for it on every billboard and tv channel in the world, after all, being a financial giant helps get you attention.
Heihachi had invited the selected competitors to his "ultra-secret-super-hidden" meeting room, the one with the large sign outside it saying "you are not here", in the hopes of confusing people who hadn't been told the secret of the door (which was that you really ARE here).
So, sitting in the big plush chairs that he had flown in specially for this meeting, were Kazuya, Jun, Jin, Lee, Hwoarang, Julia, Xiaoyu, Bryan, Paul... basically every Tekken character except Devil, Angel and Gon (can you imagine him trying to play rugby?)
"Hello, I am sure that you all know why I have gathered you here today-" began Heihachi, rising from his seat
"Is it because you need more volunteers to change your diapers?" called out Kazuya, to the amusement of everyone but Heihachi
"NO! I have an issue to discuss with all of you-" said Heihachi, trying to quiet down the room
"Good for you old man, finally coming out of the closet are ya?" called Kazuya again
Around the room the stifled laughter of various fighters could be heard
"NO! WILL YOU SHUT UP KAZUYA!!!" yelled Heihachi, "I have gathered you here today to tell you, I am going to hold another tournament"
"Wow, that's a shocker, with all the adverts outside I would never have guessed that" said Hwoarang in a very sarcastic tone of voice.
"Yes, well, anyway, I thought I should tell you the next tournament is going to be held in a week"
"ONE WEEK!" shouted Paul, that's hardly enough time for me to get my hair up!
Everyone in the room looks at Paul
"Well it does, I happen to take time over my appearance - unlike some of you" said Paul, lovingly stroking his hair and looking at Hwoarang.
"Hey, you want some of this, punk!?" said Hwoarang, jumping up to Paul
"Well, he does have a point you know Rang, I mean what, didn't you have time to change out of your army gear when you escaped?" said Julia
Hwoarang sits back down, blushing slightly "well, I thought you would like a man in uniform Julia"
"......now that's just WRONG Hwoarang" said Jin, staring at Hwoarang.
"Will you all just shut up for a second!" shouted Kazuya, standing up and looking at Heihachi "look old man, maybe your memory is failing in your old age, so I'll give you a gentle reminder, it takes MONTHS to get into shape for a tournament like this, one week just isn't enough time!".
"But I thought you stayed in shape all the time Kazzy" said Anna, smiling seductively at him
"Hey, give me a break will you? I just discovered Italian food!" said Kazuya, while Jun gave the look of death to Anna.
"Look, will you all stop bickering!" shouted Heihachi "I am holding the tournament in one week's time because... well.. I feel that I am beginning to age-"
"So it's finally sunk in eh?" said Kazuya "but it's ok old man, not everyone stays looking as young and healthy as me you know"
"......err, anyway, I want another tournament as soon as possible, partly to stop the rumours that I am an ageing old fartbag, as some people have been telling the press" at this Heihachi glares at Kazuya "and partly because, well, I feel my time is near, and I want another tournament to prove that... I will miss you all..." Heihachi starts getting all teary-eyed and around the room, sniffles can be heard, even Kazuya looks sombre
"Awww, the poor old man" whispered Julia to her mother "you know, for a heartless scheming, evil guy, he's actually quite sentimental"
"MISS KICKING YOUR BUTTS ALL DAY LONG THAT IS!!!!" shouted Heihachi suddenly
"I take back what I just said" whispered Julia, with a drab look on her face.
"So, the tournament is in one week, you don't attend and my Tekkenshu will execute you!" with this, armed members of Heihachi's private goon squad, the tekken force, rush into the room.
"But Heihachi, we really do need more than one week to get back in shape for another Tekken tournament, can't you think of something else?" moaned Xiaoyu
"How about we bowl again?" suggested Gun Jack
"NO!" screamed everyone else
"That was way unfair, you had the little targeter-thingy to help you!" said Julia
"Hmmm, how about tennis?
"NO!"
"Football?"
"NO!"
"C'mon people, we need something that's really physical, but requires very little in the way of training" said Heihachi
"What about Rugby?" said Steve, speaking for the first time.
"Rugby? What the hell is that?" asked Christie
"Good lord girl, you mean you don't know what Rugby is?" asked Steve, taken aback
".........well, I bet YOU don't know what it is either!"
"Look, if I didn't know what it was, then why would I...... oh forget it" said Steve, exasperated
"No go on, tell us" said Heihachi, intrigued by this 'rugby' (A/n: Let's just pretend that he doesn't know ok?)
"Well basically, it's like American football-"
"Great, I love that!" said Jin, happy that they were actually going to do something HE liked for once.
"-except without the helmet, padding, and protective gear"
Jin's face fell "oh, not so great then"
"It's PERFECT!!!" beamed Heihachi, delighted at the idea of this brutal sport "ok, then, I hereby announce the first ever 'Tekken Rugby' tournament!" and with that he left the room
"Did he even say where it would be?" asked Jun, puzzled
"Oh great, come on, we better catch up to him" said Kazuya, running out of the room and motioning the others to follow.
As the other fighters left the room, Jun tapped Anna on the shoulder
"Anna?"
"Yes Jun?" asked Anna politely
"Just a friendly heads-up, if you ever call my husband 'Kazzy' again, I will tear out your lungs and use them for bagpipes, ok?" said Jun, ending with a broad happy smile and walking off after Kazuya, leaving a shocked Anna to stare after her.
*********
So, whaddya think?
By the way, some of the ideas for this fic are taken from "tekken paintball tournament" by Makaveli, I love your fics! And I hope you don't mind me using them for a bit of inspiration ok?
Tell me what you think, review!