Failed Strand of Destiny (Part 2 of 3)
by NickelS
purple_shad@hotmail.com
December 2002
Author's Note: This is the completed version of Part 2. "New" material after Xmas begins about a third way down the page denoted by 2 horizontal rules.
Disclaimer: Escaflowne and all characters are not my creations. This piece of mind fart is for fan entertainment only. Episode references and timelines are about as muddled as my tapes as I've only seen the entire series once.
"If I don't trust you, how will you ever be able to trust me?"
Hitomi's words kept tumbling around in Folken's head even after he had escorted her back to the palace wing where she was currently staying. She was an odd girl, or at least she appeared to be. Of course, being from the mystic moon, how could she not? Yet, Folken could not help but consider her words very wise, along with the way she handled herself given her present situation, a world away from her own. More amazingly still, she could enlighten Folken about his own behaviour.
Why do I need others' trust?
Then again, that wasn't really being truthful to himself. Sure, he could exude an air of command and superiority when he needed to. Why else would so many generals of Zaibach's forces snap off salutes to their Strategos without blinking? But trust? No. Zaibach's soldiers did not follow his orders because he was a beloved hero or because he was an icon for one to strive to become. They did not do it out of love or loyalty. It was because Dornkirk had put him there, a pawn, no matter how high in rank or intellectual ability, but a pawn nonetheless.
So what trust was there to earn and give now? Van was the immediate answer, until Folken realized that, after a few days ago, in Fanelia, there was nothing left to settle between Van and himself. The truth had been told, and although their relationship would never be as it was, at least Van was no longer ignorantly resentful. He had real reasons to hate his brother now, and there was nothing Folken could do to make up for that.
Folken turned into a doorway, noting the sudden change in volume of sound as he neared the palace's great dining hall.
These Asturians sure like to make a lot of noise after their evening meals, I thought as I walked past one of the doors opening into the hall where the royal family, their extended family, noble delegates, ministers, guests and the rest of the palace regulars were watching the evening entertainment from their supper tables. I didn't think I'd fit in, nor did I really want to, so normally I would have food sent up to me, but I couldn't sit still tonight for some reason. Paperwork and calculations to refine were all that were waiting for me back in my room.
I continued down the outer corridor until I reached where the kitchens connected to the dining hall. I didn't have to wait long. A server came hurrying out the door and nearly ran me over with a tray of steamed fish.
"I beg your pardon, sir," the man apologized immediately. I think it took him a moment to recognize me, because after he said that, then his eyes went wide. Precariously balancing the platter with one hand -which made me step back a little- he bowed. "Would you like me to show you to a seat at the high table, my good lord?"
Since when have I ever been a 'good lord?' "No thank you, but if you could get me a sampling of the chef's entrées sent to my room—"
"Of course! Just a moment, please." With that, he hurried into the hall to serve the fish.
My eyes swept over the gathering and what they were watching, which happened to be several brightly clad women in silky dresses dancing in unison, twirling coloured fans. My view was interrupted when the server came back, bowed and said he'd arrange for my meal right away, before he disappeared into the kitchen behind me.
When I turned back to the dance, I caught sight of her, and for the second time that day I found myself staring at Princess Eries.
The first time was at the general council meeting this morning. Maybe I hadn't gotten enough sleep yesterday night or something, but my concentration was wavering the entire time. Although, I don't know if she had noticed anything other than an ordinary scowl on my face when she had looked at me.
Damn.
I shook my head. What, was I being libidinous now?
Ha. That's amusing, I almost forgot I had a sense of humour. I won't deny that she is very beautiful though. That skinny kid in a dress that I remember has grown into a fine princess, or a fine queen even…
That's when it hit me.
"If I don't trust you, how will you ever be able to trust me?"
You're right, Hitomi. I do need trust, or at least whatever is as close as I can come to that. If I'm to die soon, I should at least make an attempt to… to what? Provide closure? Eries, besides Van, is the only other person from my past who was left hanging by a stray thread for ten years. Granted, we didn't know each other very well, but it has affected her life in a very real way, I think. I hear the matter of potential suitors for her isn't usually discussed but she hasn't accepted any either, obviously. Were I conceited I would take the blame, but there must be something else to it.
The more I looked at her, the more this feeling of …urgency increased.
What is it about you Eries? What are you hiding?
The dancers moved into my line of sight and drifted gracefully across the room. When I could see Eries again, I noticed that she wasn't following the dancers at all. In fact, she looked like she was daydreaming.
Either that, or she was staring.
As it turned out, just as I was staring at her, she was busy gazing at someone else.
My eyes scanned across the room in the direction she was turned, but all I saw of interest was a couple of ladies flirting with a Caeli. I looked back at Eries, but she remained transfixed in that same direction. Unless… I looked back across the room, and it was Allen Schezar chatting idly with the two women that looked like they'd throw themselves onto him within the next blink of an eye. Could Eries really be taken in with this lady-killer cavalier? Even I have heard rumours of the infamous habits of this 'Heavenly Knight.'
Hmmph. Maybe Eries isn't quite as sensible as she seems. I've seen enough.
"Garçon," I acknowledged the server that had come up to wait upon me, "Is my order done?"
"Yes, my Lord. Your meal has been sent off already. Is there something else you require?"
"No. Thank you." I made my way back down the long hallway, at an unusually rapid walking pace. I'm pretty sure it's because this feeling in my stomach is hunger.
It was the next evening when I had left the Library for aimless wandering again, restless as ever, that I saw Eries walking along a lower corridor, unescorted. I cast furtively about to make sure she was indeed alone before I made my way quickly down the nearest flight of stairs, just managing to cross her path before she reached the bottom of the stairway.
"Folken!?" Gods, what a scare! He just seemed to rise out of the shadows.
"I'm very sorry for startling you, Princess."
Indeed you should be.
"I couldn't help but notice that you have no escort this evening," he was saying.
So? Is it that bad, that I should be trailed by a guard everywhere I go? Maybe to protect me from Zaibach deserters popping out of dark corners, but surely…
"Allow me to accompany you," he bowed, "Please."
I stared critically down at the top of his lowered head. At my hesitation, he lifted his face enough for me to see his eyes, pleading? What? Damn Allen for leaving me earlier at the Hall when he said he'd escort me to the Library. Damn me for saying I'd be fine on my own when he had a legitimate reason to stay behind a while and speak with his captain. Now this disturbing enigma wants to walk with me.
I sighed, "All right."
We walked on for a while in silence, and I was careful to keep in step with him. He had a very long stride, but that wasn't very surprising, given his formidable height. Absently, I looked down at the hem of his odd pants. They were so baggy, it was like he was wearing a dress, and as we climbed a flight of stairs, I wouldn't have been surprised if he had tripped, but of course he didn't.
I decided to make some small conversation, and we talked about yesterday's council meeting, the weather, the food, and even the dances at yesterday's dinner, though I don't recall having seen him there. Though the conversation was not unpleasant, nevertheless, he seemed a little distracted. On the other hand, maybe it was me who was being detached. He wasn't exactly the most comfortable person to be around.
A sound and a movement from below caught my attention. It was Allen, crossing the courtyard below. Normally I would have called out to him, but I already had an escort.
Folken stopped. Apparently he had noticed Allen as well.
"I should be going," I began, "He might be looking for me."
The look on his face darkened briefly, or maybe that was a cloud passing under the moon. "Was that your original escort?"
"Why yes."
"Forgive me for suggesting, but wouldn't it be more advantageous for you if he sees me in your very highly esteemed company?"
It took a moment for his words and their implication to sink in, but he was very patient about it. In fact, I don't think he blinked at all. But nevermind that.
What did you just say? How dare you presume such!
… Is it that obvious?
As I just stared dumbly at him, teeth clenched in anger and embarrassment. The trace of a small smile appeared on his face, making him look rather boyish. Before I could snap at him, though, the smile had disappeared and he said, quite seriously:
"You are a marvelous actress, Eries. I'm sure we can confuse him just a little."
I continued to stare as he offered his –left- hand, still a little shocked. Once again, before I could deny anything and bid him good night, his voice, so quiet now, pierced my intentions.
"Trust me. Please."
"I…" What were we talking about?
The sound of footsteps below and the glint of moonlight on gold snapped me back to attention. Allen's coming this way! Oh, I can't believe I'm going to do this.
The accusing look on her face melted away into determination, and I don't think I've ever been as relieved as I am now that she has placed her white hand in mine. I'd barely closed my fingers over hers before she pulled me over to the side of the corridor.
"I think he saw me," she hissed.
"Good," I replied, and she looked like she still couldn't believe she was going along with me. Sure enough, the sound of Allen Schezar ascending the stairs on the opposite side of the courtyard could be heard. "Quickly now." I turned, leading her so that when the Caeli reached the top of the stairs, our backs would be facing him. "Let's talk about something witty. Have a little laugh."
"I have no idea," she shook her head with a slightly giddy smile, starting to walk ahead slowly, turning her head back a little to see if Schezar had reached the top of the steps yet. "Or maybe I do." Then she looked at me and quickly away, her smile inadvertently becoming a grin, "If you don't mind my saying, I think your choice of formal attire is rather amusing."
"Think so?" I was grinning now, also, unable to contain it. "I think I'd much rather be wearing this than be wearing what some of your Asturian noblemen wear." The statement had the desired affect of making her snigger at the idea, so I ventured to add, "What do you call it, a 'codpiece?'"
This freed her laughter and I joined in as well.
When we looked at each other, she started laughing all the harder, and I took the opportunity to check our position out of the corner of my eye.
Allen had just rounded the corner from the stairwell, hoping to catch up with Princess Eries, when the sound of her laughter, pealing in the otherwise quiet of the night, stopped him in his tracks. It was such a rare, beautiful sound, but what really stunned him was who had managed to elicit it from her. The knight was vaguely aware that his mouth was agape, as he watched Eries gliding down the corridor and having a rather lively conversation, hand-in-hand no less, with Folken, of all people… And she was laughing…
Fortunately for me, Schezar probably couldn't hear what we were saying. I gave Eries's hand a light squeeze and she tilted her head up, as I said in an undertone. "Don't turn your head to look, but I think he's watching us."
"Really?" Her excitement could hardly be hidden, and she blushed a comely shade of pink.
"Yes, I think he's quite amazed."
"I wish I could see his expression," she said, probably more to herself than to me. "This is so silly," she added. Nevertheless, her timing was impeccable when she laughed lightly again and leaned into me accordingly.
Instead of escorting Eries to the Library as she had originally intended, she asked that I take her back to the Royal Chambers. To make sure that Schezar could still follow us if he wanted to, we did not take too long to make known the direction in which we were heading.
When we reached the grand marble staircase leading up to the private rooms of the Royal Family members and the two guards that stood watch at the base of it, Eries led me out into another courtyard directly before it so that we could speak. Once through the glass doors and out of sight of the guards she dropped my hand and moved towards the centre of the small circular enclosure. Her hand drifted to the stone rim of one of the many fountains in the palace.
When she turned back to look at me, her expression returned to an impassive mask once more, the same one she wore during council.
How different you truly are from yourself, sometimes, Eries.
"Thank you," she said carefully. "I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while."
I bowed my head in acknowledgement, "You're welcome, but no thanks are ne-"
"No, I suppose not," she interrupted defiantly, "not until I know what your motives are. What were –are- you trying to prove? What …business is this of yours?" Though accusing, her voice remained level at all times. She really is amazing at this sort of thing.
I frowned. "Fair questions. I reserve no apologies, but you'll get truthful answers at least. You're right, it shouldn't be any of my business." I hesitated, and her eyebrows knit together thoughtfully. "But if our escapade tonight does not make Allen Schezar realize that you are not excluded from the realm of honest courtship, then he doesn't deserve your attentions." He doesn't seem to deserve you at all. I sighed, adding weakly, "I hope you can see that." I'm not really sure if she can or not.
She looked ready to retort something, maybe on his behalf, but said somewhat indignantly instead, "I would ask that next time you feel the need to meddle in such… issues, you should keep to yourself. Playing the match-maker does not suit you."
"Of course not," I replied instantly, "It suits me as much as it suits you to pine needlessly."
She held her tongue this time, or –more likely- she didn't have anything to say to that, and there was an ill silence.
I shook my head and said, as sincerely as I could, "I am sorry. Just, please, remember what I said." I bowed to her and turned to leave.
"Am I supposed to believe you're trying to help me simply out of kindness?" The puzzlement was evident in her intonation.
A sidelong glance over my shoulder gave me the impression that she really did want to know. I turned halfway back. "In my experience, people generally believe what they want to believe despite otherwise." I couldn't help but smirk cynically. "But yeah, that is what I was trying to go for."
"Then," she began reluctantly, "if that is truly your intention, you have my appreciation."
That is more than I could have asked for, perhaps more than I deserve. Eries, you have made me one happy man… well, if not happy (for I doubt I could ever be truly happy again), then at least content. Impulsively, I dropped to my knees before her and pressed my knuckles against the floor, bending toward the flagstones in a bow, dredging up a mannerism that my father had drilled into me when I had been young.
"It has been my honor to serve you, Princess Eries. My sword follows your will."
That last sentence really hadn't been necessary. Actually, I surprised myself with my own behaviour, but Eries arched an eyebrow, realizing it was a declaration of formality once used in Fanelia. She nodded her head slightly, not appearing to mind my ridiculous lapse in action and words, things that recalled my great betrayal.
"If my memory doesn't fail me, the correct reply to that would be: 'My blessing is yours. Gods bestow grace and honor to you and your clan.'"
I stood and smiled sadly. I think I tried saying 'thank you,' but only managed to mouth it, just barely. Her eyes were an amazing colour in the dark.
"Perhaps," she locked eyes with me, "I was wrong about you… Folken."
No. My eyelids squeezed shut, but that was a futile reaction. I shook my head vehemently. "No." I wish, but I won't lie to you. I won't let us deceive ourselves, no matter how much I may have wanted you to trust me.
"Pardon?" she asked, so quietly.
I opened my eyes. "You were absolutely right."
AN: Riiight. Well, so much for being only 2 parts. There is a bit more I had planned to go with this, but simply because I don't think I'll be able to get it written for a while, I didn't include it in this part. Blame it on the LotR Elves. Bowie keeps me sane, sort of.