Past Secrets and Present Times
Chapter 32
By Hotshot
Her father had insisted on giving her a ride to Manhattan the next morning. She protested greatly. The carriage her father had brought out would only allow the boys more reasons to shun her if they were mad at her. It was another signal of how much things had changed. In her father's time if a newsie got a ride in a carriage he was considered talented. In the present times however it was a sign to be wary and that the person was not trustworthy. They'd be suspicious of her for months.
She'd been told her entire life that her stubbornness came form her mother, but that day it seemed that her father was more stubborn than she was. She gave up, probably because of the early hour. She hugged her brother, her father, and Rosa before climbing into the carriage. Blackjack helped her up whispering that she was in for it next time Brooklyn and Manhattan met for a poker night. She only rolled her eyes.
"Blackjack, I could beat you any day, any time." She retorted.
"You sure about that." He smirked, "I had a few years with nuthin' ta do except practice."
"Practice don't mean nuthin' around here. Next poker night, you, me, Race, Royal, and Ace."
He spit in his palm, "I'll be there."
She repeated his action and they shook on it. He shut the door to the carriage and nodded to the driver.
Hotshot leaned back against the seat letting her bag drop harmlessly to the floor. She waved unenthusiastically to everyone as the driver cracked the whip over the horses back. The carriage started to bounce along over the cobblestone roads. She sunk as low as possible in her seat. Despite the early hour there were already plenty of people out on the street, including several newsies whom she would never hear the end of this from.
As they reached the Brooklyn Bridge she sat up straight in her seat. In Brooklyn her actions would undoubtedly be frowned upon by most, but Manhattan and around Spot was a different story. If you didn't take pride in your appearance or if you weren't able to live with anything you were often shunned. She sat and looked out the window. Nuns were setting up their stand to feed the hungry orphans of New York, and numerous shop owners were on their ways to their places of business. A scowl crossed her face as she watched Pulitzer climb out of his elegant coach and walked proudly up the stairs of the World building.
Weasel was throwing his nephews out the gates of the distribution center to stir up some trouble before the newsies arrived for the day. Oscar caught her eye and nodded in recognition with a scowl on his face, followed by an obscene hand gesture that she gladly returned.
She could hear the yelling more than a block before the lodging house. It was too muffled to be out of the building yet but all the same it was familiar and made her feel at home. She had never been more terrified in her entire life. This was the unknown; she had no idea if they all hated her or were just waiting for her to come to her senses. They turned onto Duane Street and she reached for the drawstring of her bag. The coach stopped in front of the lodging house.
Boys erupted out of the door in a steady stream of older and younger, singing, yelling, and dancing. Basically they were warming up for the day of selling, led by Jack and an ever-present Spot. The front of the group stopped as they sighted the carriage causing those behind them to run into them. The group quickly dispersed n front of the lodging house, forming a large crowd.
Hotshot took a deep breath and stepped out to the door, and down to the first step. She slung her bag over her shoulder and glanced around at the crowd of newsies. She knew every face there, and each pair of eyes seemed to be focused directly upon her. No one moved and for some reason the entire city seemed to pick that exact moment to fall silent. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a several seconds. None of them dared to so much as blink, waiting for her to make the first move.
Finally Hotshot sighed. She took another step down. One more step and she'd be standing on the cold cobblestone streets. She took a deep breath and spoke, "How's it rollin' fellas?" she asked with a serious expression on her face.
"Depends on who's askin'." Jack countered, looking her over with a long hard gaze. He was trying to intimidate her, but that wouldn't happen anytime soon.
"Well I heard there was an opening in this lodging house and I'se lookin' for a place to stay so I can sell me papes 'round here." She said, meeting his gaze. Jack said nothing in response. Hotshot looked around the area again. Her eyes moved over the faces of her friends, some smiling, some still looking serious. Her eyes came to rest on Kid Blink. He didn't seem to know how to look. It looked like he wanted to smile but was worried. "How ya doin' Blink?" she asked, "Been out a the hospital 'bout a week. How ya feelin'?"
This brought smiles to many of the other boys' faces. That was all it took. She had to connect with them on something form before, Kid Blink's illness being a perfect example. She didn't know how so many of them forgave her so easily.
Kid Blink grinned, "I'se feelin' great. But I'se gotta complain; it's about time you got yourself back here."
Jack stepped forward, "He's right. C'mon let's throw your stuff inside so we'se can go sell."
Hotshot's eyes quickly scanned her friends and landed on the pair of eyes she'd been trying to find; Specs'. His eyes were usually warm and inviting, but now they were rock hard, and cold. While most of the other boys were relaxed and happily moving toward her, he stood there stiffly. His mouth was set in a frown and he watched her just as carefully as she watched him. Their eyes connected for several seconds. He shook his head not breaking eye contact, then turned and began to make his way through the boys behind him and down the street to the distribution center.
She jumped down from the step ready to chase after him, "Specs!" she called out. He ignored her and kept walking. She tried to make her way through the crowd but Race, Dutchy, and Bumlets stopped her.
"Don't go after him Hotshot," Race said.
She turned to Bumlets and he only nodded, "He took you leavin' real hard…"
"He's upset," Dutchy picked up, "He'll come to his senses, just give him some time."
She glanced stubbornly after him for another moment before following the remaining boys inside. Jack, Race, Spot, Kid Blink, Bumlets, Pickpocket and Dutchy had stayed to wait with her. Jack sent everyone else ahead to the distribution center. Hotshot tossed her bag onto her bunk, which seemed to have not been touched since she'd left.
Spot blocked her path when she turned to leave the room; everyone else was on their way down the stairs by this time. "There ain't no way I can get youse back to Brooklyn?" he asked.
"No Spot," she replied, "I belong here now."
"What if Specs don't want you back?" When she gave him a look he continued, "You may not realize that he's the reason you came back but he is? What'll you do if he hates you?"
As the two walked outside she looked at him, "How many days did I stay in Brooklyn when you were pissed at me, Spot? How many times did you threaten to kill me? I never left and I'm happy here Spot. It feels like home now. But don't worry I'll visit."
He nodded, "As long as you're sure. Me an' Pickpocket are goin' back tonight."
The group reached the gates just as they opened and Jack pulled hotshot with him to the front of the line. She tried to swat him away by claiming that she didn't want the attention. Jack, being who he was ignored any plea that left her lips. He was the only newsie he allowed in front of her. He bought his papes, teasing Weasel as he did so.
"Act one, scene two," Hotshot muttered under her breath. She stepped up to the spot Jack had occupied seconds earlier and looked Weasel dead in the face. She noticed the two Delancy's freeze behind Weasel.
"I thought we got rid a you for good last time." The old man snapped.
"You'll be gone long before I am Weasel," she smirked, "I mean youse just gonna be so old and ugly by then that they'll put you in jail for being obscene in public."
"How many?" Only on the second newsie the man's temper was already short. This was not starting out as a good day.
She rolled her eyes, "A hundred." She slapped the fifty-cent piece down on the counter and waited as Maurice piled all the papers on the counter. She sat down o a crate near the door and looked through the headlines for something salvageable. She rolled her eyes at the awful headlines that Pulitzer's writers came up with. "Why do we work for the World?" she asked Race.
He shrugged, "Closest to the lodging house, I guess."
Specs walked past them not even giving either a second look. Hotshot bit her lip to keep from yelling something after him. Kid Blink came up to her, "You want a selling partner today?"
"Sure," she said. She, Race and Kid Blink walked off in the general direction of Central Park. She snuck another glance over at Specs and Bumlets, who seemed to be waiting for the remainder of their group to go sell. They reached the park and began yelling headlines, all of which were greatly improved.
Selling was slow in the early morning but picked up quickly as the morning progressed. Hotshot didn't blame people for coming out later. Being early November it was starting to be cool in the mornings. It warmed up during the day but evening and early morning weren't as warm as they had been all summer. She'd actually need that jacket Rosa had bought her pretty soon. Of course not until it was blistering cold, she was very stubborn about not wearing a coat. She sold out before eleven and spent the next hour and a half stealing and selling Race and Blink's extra papers. They were done around the time all the guys would be heading to Tibby's for some lunch and then out to sell the afternoon edition.
"C'mon fellas, let's go grab some lunch!" she yelled. She took off in the general direction of Tibby's, seriously starving and craving some of their food. She didn't notice Race and Blink exchange a glance behind her as they ran to catch up to her.
They'd slowed down by the time they got to the diner. Race was trying to tell them about the hot tip he had for that afternoon's races, but Blink was in the process of telling a joke as well. They were all laughing as they entered the diner; Hotshot was leaning on Blink to keep form falling over. Race stumbled over the floor, which remarkable was completely flat. You never would have guessed form the way he stumbled across it.
Blink and Race spotted the problem reasonably quickly. They immediately stopped laughing and straitened, not quite staring but worried.
Hotshot quickly noticed that the two boys weren't laughing anymore. She also seemed to notice that the diner was almost deathly silent. She straightened up and stopped her laughter, looking between Race and Blink, "What'sa matter?" Her eyes suddenly caught sight of someone in front of her. All thoughts of lunch were forgotten and the hunger that had occupied her stomach was replaced by a sick feeling.
At one of the center booths sat Specs with Hummingbird sitting with him, as close to him as possible. Specs was looking at her with the same cold look in his eyes as that morning. Hummingbird's was colder, if that was possible, but there was also some sick satisfaction in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed Specs passionately. He kissed her back. Hotshot turned on her heel and stormed out of Tibby's.
Noise erupted as the boor slammed shut behind her. She could hear it and knew it would count against her. If it had been any other guy that started going out with Hummingbird Hotshot would have slapped him. But it was Specs. She would also lose for not saying anything. She'd never backed down form a sarcastic remark and she would surely get something for it later. She quickened her place to get back to the distribution center. Weasel looked surprised to see her back so early but said nothing as he handed her the papers she paid for.
Hotshot stalked out of the small area and began to walk down a sidewalk. She thought that she felt tears forming behind her eyes but would not allow them to fall for him. She bit her lip and dug her nails into her palm. Controlling her feelings was much easier than trying to deal with this emotionally. When she trusted herself she began to yell headlines.
She'd been selling for several minutes she heard the familiar sets of footsteps behind her. "I ain't in the mood today boys." She turned to face the Delancy brothers.
Oscar grinned, "Don't worry Hotshot. We just heard that guy a yours dumped you for a pretty little thing that actually wears dresses. We gots some friends who might be interested in ya though. I mean I'm sure one of us could clear our busy schedules and take you somewhere."
She was definitely not in the mood for this right now; she was in a bad enough mood as it was. But even as she sighed her mind was working on coming up with a comeback. She could take it out on the Delancy's.
"Oh, so when I break up with Specs I'm supposed to go out with trash like you. Well, let me tell you sumthin' then. I wouldn't go anywhere with either of you if we were the last three people on this planet. In my eyes you're as ugly as hell, just like that uncle a yours. I swear your whole family is ugly, it must be hereditary-"
"You know you're talkin' 'bout Snoddy too right?" Maurice said, hoping to trap her in her words.
"Nah, I meant your mother's side, y'know Weasel's sister. He's the only one who got your dad's good looks, and the only one with brains too now that I think of it. And, yes, that is another insult. An' I ain't armed but you can try your luck at a fight if you wanna take this out like that, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'se pissed, so prepare to lose."
Angered by the comments Maurice charged her, the stupider of the two. At the last second she stepped to the side leaving her fist to hit him hard in the stomach. Oscar was actually living up to his somewhat superior intelligence. He dodged her punches as he advanced and tried to land one of his own. But she ducked and he slammed his fist into a brick wall. "You wanna keep tryin' 'cause I got all afternoon."
"Hey! Hey! Scram ya scabs!" She heard the calls behind her and sighed. She really needed a way to relieve some stress. Knowing even the Delancy's wouldn't be stupid enough to attack her with the other newsies there she turned to see who it was. Dutchy, Specs, Snoddy, Skittery, Bumlets, Pie, Blink, Pickpocket, and Spot were coming down the somewhat hilly road. She groaned as they came up and stopped near her.
"Go on," Spot snapped, "Scram!"
The two just nodded and Oscar spoke, "Heya Specs, you sure you don't want us to take care of the little girl for ya?" He raised an eyebrow and then nodded at his younger brother.
"How ya doin' Rich." Maurice spoke with an edge to his voice. Snoddy only glared back.
"I said Move!" Spot repeated his command.
Maurice walked by first, but Oscar couldn't resist another second of torturing her. He slapped Hotshot's butt as hard a s he could when he passed her. She tried to launch herself at him, fists raised, but Dutchy and Bumlets were there to hold her back. The brothers sped up their pace.
"It's your first day back and you're fighting already," Spot lectured her, "What were you thinking?"
She stared back at him with a cold glare that plainly stated she was angry or upset. "They couldn't have touched me. Now if you'll excuse me I have papes to sell." She picked up the pile of papers that she'd dropped during the fight. She quickly made her way past them and out into a crowded section of the streets. She yelled headlines until her last paper was sold.
The lodging house wasn't quite full when she got back. Several of the boys called out to her to get her to join poker games. They were trying to take her mind off the days events and everyone, including her, knew it. She nodded and had a few brief conversations before making her way up to the bunkroom.
She laughed as she spotted Bumlets, who had Race in a headlock. It was funny how some things never changed. The two were seeming arguing about a newspaper article and the ownership of a fake headline. Kid Blink was perched on his nearby bunk, laughing and cheering them on. He nearly fell off his bunk and landed on Mush several times as Hotshot watched. It was good to see that he was doing better since the last time those two boys had wrestled like that. They'd have to be careful about any of the boys getting sick that winter.
After several minutes she climbed onto the fire escape and up to the roof. Sure she'd had plenty of time to calm down after seeing Specs but she wasn't in the mood for all the guys to try to cheer her up. She took a seat on one of the ledges and looked out over the city.
"What the hell are you doin' up there?" Spot yelled as he saw her from the ground.
"Sittin'!" she yelled back.
Without another word he walked into the building. She didn't hear him until he was a few feet behind her. He leaned against the ledge backwards. There was a wall that came to about any newsies waist, or a little higher depending on their height. Hotshot sat on the top of it. Spot threw a lit cigarette down to the ground below. The two of them sat there in silence for a few moments. "You know you can come back to Brooklyn any time you want," he finally said.
"I know," she replied.
"I'se real sorry you had to find out about Specs an' Hummin'boid like that." Spot turned to face her, "I would have told you, but you just love him so much, I thought it'd kill you."
"Why does everyone have this idea that I love him?" She shouted at Spot, "I honestly don't Spot."
"Ok," he shrugged, "You don't have to admit it now but I know you do. I'll talk to you next time I come to Manhattan, but if you're in Brooklyn before that drop by. An' say hello to Canada for me next time you see her. Tell her to come visit." He kissed Hotshot's cheek in a brotherly manner, "Later."
She hugged him quickly, "Bye Spot."
He didn't say anything, just strolled to the trapdoor that led down into the building. It was considerably darker when she heard two sets of footsteps coming up. She didn't turn around until they stopped behind her, "Hey guys."
Kid Blink and Race stopped on either side of her, both trying to figure out what to say. Race was the first to thank of something, "I guess we should have told you."
"Yeah, that might have been a better idea," Hotshot mumbled, "I mean of all people why Hummingbird!?"
"'Cause you left." Race said simply, "You told him you couldn't be wit' him and he needed someone to fill youse space. Hummingbird was just waiting right there to replace you."
"But she told me I was crazy for picking specs over Spot the first time I met her."
Race shrugged, "Well, other than the fact that Spot has a goil now it might have to do with the fact that he was your guy, and she wanted revenge."
Kid blink spoke for the first time all night, "He wanted revenge too."
"Huh?" Race asked.
"Think about it. Brooke you dropped him just like that and I know you didn't want to but I think he needed someone to take your place and make you jealous if you came back for anything. And, well, Hummingbird is sort of your biggest enemy so she was the perfect choice."
"You know, out of everyone here I'd expect him to understand why I had to go back more than anyone else." Hotshot threw a small stone at a teenager passing on the streets below, but missed. "I lost my best friend."
"You still got us," Race said grinning, "We'll stick by you, I swear."
"Thanks guys, that means a lot after what happened."
"You know you changed a lot since you came here," Blink pointed out. "When you first got here all you ever talked about was Brooklyn and how you couldn't wait to go back. And now look at you, movin' in here permanently."
Hotshot shrugged, "Yeah, it's kinda weird. I really thought I couldn't feel like I belonged anywhere other than Brooklyn but then I came here and everything just went so well. It got so hard to decide because I have friends in both places. I've known the guys in Brooklyn years longer and I still feel more like I belong here. I don't know why."
"It's because a Specs." Race said.
"All a you and him maybe." She responded.
"You should have told him you loved him." Kid Blink whispered.
Hotshot spun to face him, "Why does everyone keep saying that. Read my lips Blink. I. Don't. Love. Him." She made each word it's own sentence to try and emphasis the fact. "Why can't you all just process that thought in your minds. I don't love Specs."
"Then what were you so upset about today?" The expression n Kid Blink's face was unreadable as he spoke. He turned and silently started back to the fire escape, "We'll give you some time to think." The two of them had disappeared from her sight a moment later.
Hotshot pushed a pile of rocks or the ledge in frustration. Four stories below she heard someone shout. She saw Swifty as she looked over the edge. It seemed he'd jumped to avoid most of the falling debris. "Sorry Swifty!" she called down. Then she thought about it, "but it serves you right for bring late for curfew!"
Swifty's reply only made her laugh, and she made her way back into the bunkroom. Race was orchestrating a rather large game of poker while many of the other boys were stashing their day's earnings in various places. Hotshot found it amazing that a few beds were actually free. It had been months since the lodging house hadn't been full to the brink with Manhattan and Brooklyn newsies, but now the last of them were gone. Hotshot walked over to her bunk to look through her things. The first thing she did was take Specs' book out of her bag and drop it at the foot of his bed.
He came into the room just as Kloppman was making his way upstairs to tell them all to go to bed. Specs stopped when he saw Hotshot. "I'm going to spend the night in Harlem." He said as he turned to leave.
"No Specs," Hotshot said, "You stay here. I'll move somewhere else." She threw her bag over her shoulder and walked past him out of the room. Kloppman raised an eyebrow as she walked into one of the sick rooms and dropped her bag on the solitary bed in the corner. Hothsot stuck her head out into the hall and locked eyes with Specs, "There." Was all she said before closing the door. She heard several voices even after the lights were all out.
Hotshot rolled over thinking back on the day's events. She'd only been back one day but it felt like she'd been there for years. She'd come back to have everyone, except her best friend forgive her for leaving. Found her that same best friend who was supposed to care about her making out with her worst enemy, and gotten into a fight with the Delancy's. Spot was gone and most of her friends were giving her space. Sure, she acted like that was what she wanted but it really wasn't. She wanted to be around people, and now Specs was so pissed at her that he didn't even want her in the same room as him.
She rolled out of bed to get a drink from the washroom. Several boys merely glanced at her as she passed their bunks. On the way back she spotted Specs reading the book she'd left using a single candle for light. He looked up as her shadow passed over him. When their eyes met his were unreadable, but he closed the book and blew out the candle in his hand.
Hotshot returned to her room to think some more. Things had not gone at all as she had hoped they would. She wished things could go back to the way they had been before the trial. Then the world would be perfect, but she knew that was not going to happen. She felt so much more experienced than she'd thought of herself as being. Her remainder of time with the newsies was going to be short, but she had to make the best of it. This thing with Specs would blow over, it had to. And if not, well, it was his loss, not hers.
(A/N): I am so sorry it's taken me so long to get another chapter up, it's just that I've had a ton of homework lately and other than that I'm starting drivers ed, got a babysitting job, and am looking for a real one. One of my friends is mad 'cause I don't spend enough time with her too. This is one of the last chapters to this story. I don't know if there will be one or two more; we'll have to see how it goes when I'm writing it. I may or may not leave an author note chapter at the end, and I may do a sequel as well.
You guys have all been great. I only need nine more reviews to reach the one hundred mark. Thank you so much! I really need to start on my homework so there will be no shout outs I this chapter but I will thank you all in my next author note. Well, I can't think of anything else to say so I hope you all like this chapter, don't forget to review.
~Hotshot~~~