This Is Not The Way To Get Healthy

"I can't believe we have to do this," Rogue groaned. Both Misfits and X-Men were assembled in the hallway.

"Who's stupid idea was this anyway?" Scott grumbled.

"It was Shipwreck's idea," Pietro replied matter of factly. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Group therapy," Scott groaned. "I can't believe it's come to this! Professor why are we all doing this? Isn't it obvious we can't get along? Why are you putting us through this?"

"Because we have to learn to get along with each other," Xavier said as he started to swallow some aspirin. "Part of the dream of getting along with humans is to learn to get along with other mutants as well. Not to mention certain humans who are absolute lunatics but this must work. It's got to work!"

"Is it me or is he starting to develop the same kind of twitches Principal Kelly used to get?" Kitty asked.

"I think you might be right," Rogue said.

"Where shall we start?" Psyche-Out walked out and looked at his list. "Who's in the first group?"

"I think we should start with some family counseling," Xavier said. "Rogue, Kurt, Wanda and Pietro should go first."

"You're putting those four together?" Logan blinked. "You really like to tempt fate don't ya Chuck?"

"Good thing the rest of us are staying out here," Shipwreck sighed.

"Someone has to in order to make sure another fight doesn't break out," Ororo pointed to the students. Several of which were already giving each other dirty looks.

"All right let's have the first group in now shall we?" Xavier was trying to put a positive outlook on things. Soon the four teens were in Xavier's private study with Psyche-Out and Xavier.

"Welcome to family counseling," Psyche-Out said.

"Some family," Rogue grumbled. "The only thing we got in common is a bunch of genes from a couple of psychotic megalomaniacs!"

"Yeah and on top of that we're also related to Mystique and Magneto," Kurt quipped.

"Very funny Blue Boy!" Pietro growled.

"Okay one ground rule I want to establish right now," Xavier said. "No name calling!"

"So I can't call him Furball?" Pietro asked.

"No," Xavier said.

"And I can't call him Worm Boy?" Pietro asked.

"No."

"And I can't call him Stupid Head," Pietro asked.

"No."

"Not even Demon Boy, Point Ears, or Stink Fur?"

"No, no, and especially no!"

"Yeah like I can't call you Jerkface!" Kurt snapped. "Or Speed Freak or Quickstupid. I'd like to call you those names but I can't."

"You can't call him a backstabbing lunatic either," Rogue said. "Or a flaming egomaniac, or a prissy little twerp."

"Right," Wanda said. "Just like we can't call you Skunk Hair."

"Or call you a mental case, even though that's what you are!" Rogue snapped.

"Uh I think we're getting off the track here…" Psyche-Out gulped.

None of the kids were listening to him. "Micro Brain!" Kurt shouted at Pietro.

"Bamph Breath!" Pietro snapped back.

"Vampire!" Wanda snapped.

"Witch!" Rogue snapped.

"Long Tailed Loony!" Pietro snapped.

"Bad Fashion Victim!" Kurt shouted.

"You take that back!" Pietro jumped on him. The two started tussling.

"Oh you are going down!" Rogue growled at Wanda.

"Bring it on sister!" Wanda snapped.

"ENOUGH!" Xavier shouted so loud that all of them stopped fighting and looked at him. "This is not the way to work out your problems! Sit back down and behave yourselves right now!"

"They started it," Kurt grumbled as he sat back down on the couch.

"I don't care!" Xavier rubbed his temples. "The point of this is to bring this family closer together. That's what you all are, like it or not."

"Xavier is right," Psyche-Out said. "Let's face it, you're all the blood relatives you have in this world. If you don't count your biological parents."

"The ones we know about anyway like in Fuzzy's case," Pietro said.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt looked at him.

"You never did find out who your real daddy was did you?" Pietro smirked.

"No…" Kurt looked at him. "What are you getting at?"

"Pietro shut up," Wanda glared at him. "They didn't finish the tests yet, remember? So we don't know for sure!"

"What tests?" Kurt looked around. "What is he talking about Professor?"

"Don't look at me," Xavier looked interested. "This is the first I've heard of it. Psyche-Out are you saying that the Joes know who Kurt's biological father really is?"

"We have a possible lead," Psyche-Out said. "We're waiting for a few more tests before we can be sure."

"What kind of tests? Who do you think it is? How long will it take?" Kurt asked.

"A while," Psyche-Out said carefully. "I didn't want to say anything until we were absolutely sure so we wouldn't get your hopes up."

"I don't know why you're so anxious to find out anyway," Wanda grumbled.

"Look just because your natural father is a psychopath doesn't mean that mine is horrible!" Kurt snapped.

"He's my dad too, remember!" Rogue whacked him with a pillow from the couch.

"How could we forget?" Pietro whacked her with a pillow from his couch. "That jerk ruined all our lives! He experimented on all of us! And three of us are his own kids! We all hate him!"

"All right I think we all agree on that," Psyche-Out said. "We're making progress."

"This is progress?" Xavier asked.

"Yes," Psyche-Out said. "Now that the kids should have a focus point on their anger. I mean one of the main reasons they loathe each other is because of Magneto."

"Loathe is a very strong word to use," Xavier said.

"It's pretty accurate if you ask me," Rogue folded her arms.

"No one did!" Wanda snapped.

"Okay I prepared a little exercise for you," Psyche-Out took out a dummy dressed in red. "This is to help you vent out your frustrations. Pretend this dummy is Magneto. I want each of you to tell it how you feel. You can even hit it. Kurt I want you to go first."

"You want me to play with a doll?" Kurt stood up and looked at the dummy.

"It's a therapeutic tool, not a doll," Psyche-Out said. "And right now it's Magneto. Just tell it how you feel."

"I feel rather ridiculous doing this," Kurt said.

"Fine," Pietro shoved him out of the way and grabbed the dummy. "Then I'll start. I hate you Father! You are a self absorbed egocentric jerk!"

"So that's where he gets it from," Kurt muttered.

"I did everything to try and please you but was that good enough? Noooooo!" Pietro shook the dummy violently. "Would it have killed you to even come to one of my basketball games? Huh? Would it? Just once! Just freaking once just show up and say 'Way to go Pietro'! Is that so hard, huh? Is it?" He started to punch the dummy so hard, stuffing started to fall out.

"Hey at least you weren't locked up!" Wanda shoved him aside. "You locked me away in that mental hospital for years and didn't even visit me! Well I'm pretty sure you didn't visit me. Mastermind's brainwashing mixed up my memories so much I'm not fully sure what's real anymore! By the time I did remember what you did to me I was stuck with you! Stuck with those idiots in that house…AGGGGHHH!" She blasted the dummy with her hex bolts into the wall several times.

"Okay…just let it out Wanda," Psyche-Out said calmly.

"My turn!" Rogue grabbed the dummy. "I don't even know where to begin with you daddy dearest! I was nothing more than an experiment for you to play with you jerk!" Rogue punched the dummy with her super strength hard enough for it to go flying into the wall, making very large dents in it."

"Okay now that is not a healthy expression of anger," Psyche-Out gulped.

"Rogue! Control yourself," Xavier told her. "Other wise I won't have a study left!"

"Me again!" Pietro zoomed over and started to rip out the stuffing. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" He grabbed the dummy's head with his teeth and started to tear at it, growling.

"Pietro I think that's enough anger for one day," Psyche-Out gulped as the stuffing started to fly around the room.

"Okay I got one," Kurt grabbed the dummy. "How dare you do genetic experiments on me and make me related to these maniacs!"

"Who are you calling a maniac?" Wanda snapped.

"If the straightjacket fits…" Kurt snapped.

"That's it! Wanda hexed him into the wall.

"Quit it!" Rogue shouted as she tackled Wanda.

"You quit it!" Pietro attacked Rogue. Soon all four of them were fighting each other.

Outside in the hallway all anyone could hear were things breaking and screaming. "What is going on in there?" Logan asked.

"It sounds like a war zone in there," Ororo said.

"Yeah that's pretty much a typical session with Psyche-Out," Cover Girl sighed.

"AGGGGHHH!" Psyche-Out and Xavier were thrown through the doorway into the hall.

"Oops," Wanda gulped as she looked out the broken door. "Sorry."

"Now look what you've done!" Rogue snapped.

"Well if somebody hadn't bent my arm and deflected my hex-bolt…" Wanda growled.

"Will all of you knock it off!" Logan looked at the both of them lying on the floor. "Chuck are you okay?"

"Oh yes," Xavier said in a strange tone. "I'm fine coach. Just give me a minute and I'll be back on the field!"

"What happened?" Ororo asked.

"I think Wanda zapped him too hard," Shipwreck said.

"Ya think?" Ororo snapped.

"We will be continuing on to the next group," Psyche-Out gasped. "After we take a ten minute break." He then passed out on the floor.

"Oh great!" Scott groaned. "Yeah therapy is really gonna help solve our problems!"

"I think the only way to solve our problems is…" Logan started to say.

"With a bunch of tanks!" Hank snapped. "We know! We know!" He looked at the students who were fighting again. "And I think you may be on to something…"