Let's Rethink this Relationship Now Shall We?

"Okay now Lance and Kitty welcome to couple's counseling," Psyche-Out said. He had regained consciousness half an hour ago.

"If this is a couple's counseling session why are all of them here?" Kitty asked as she pointed to the room filled with all the X-Men and Misfits.

"Because your stupid relationship affects all of us that's why!" Althea said.

"Yeah they wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for the two of you!" Kurt pointed to the Misfits.

"You got that right Blue Boy!" Todd stuck his tongue out at him.

"Will you all please calm down?" Psyche-Out told them. "Now I think that this is the perfect time to go over and express your feelings."

"Fine," Lance sighed. "I…"

"We know how you feel Lance!" Scott snapped.

"Will you let him finish?" Althea said.

"Why? We all know what he's gonna say!" Bobby asked.

"It doesn't matter! It's group therapy and he should be allowed to express himself!" Todd said.

"Yeah and if you don't let him express himself I'm gonna pound you!" Fred made a fist.

"Oh yeah we can see therapy really helps you!" Kurt groaned.

"You want your tail tied up in a knot?" Pietro snapped. This broke out into a huge argument between the two groups.

"ENOUGH! SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" Kitty screamed, stopping the argument. "LANCE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"What do you mean my fault?" Lance shouted.

"Every time you come over here fights break out, things get wrecked…" Kitty stomped her foot. "It's been like this since the beginning! Whenever we get together something happens! Like when we first met and you were trying to use me to get cheat answers and ended up wrecking the entire school!"

"I thought you forgave me for that!" Lance shouted. "Once you forgive somebody you're not supposed to throw it back in their face!"

"He's got a point Kitty," Jean said. "The rest of us however haven't forgiven him for that so we can use that all we want!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Lance groaned. "I made a mistake! Didn't any of you even think of asking me why I needed to sell those test answers? Huh?"

"Yeah you had an agenda against the school if I recall," Kitty snapped.

"Besides that," Lance sighed. "I was trying to save enough money so I could leave town for good and get away from my crappy life in that foster home!"

"Well you ended up leaving anyway after you destroyed the school!" Kitty snapped.

"How many times do I have to say it was an accident?" Lance cried. "When you left…I just freaked!"

"You see Lance has abandonment issues," Fred pointed out.

"Fred stay out of this please!" Lance groaned.

"Yeah the last thing we need is for all of us to be analyzed by an illiterate mountain of muscle," Rogue grumbled.

"I am not illiterate!" Fred said angrily. "My parents were married in a church and everything. Okay my dad took off later, but he was married to my mom when he did it, so there! Lance is the one who's illiterate!"

"That's illegitimate salami brain!" Pietro snapped. "Lance is illegitimate!"

"Oh thanks a lot guys," Lance groaned.

"Well it's not your fault you don't know who your real dad is," Todd spoke up. "I mean when your mom and her current boyfriend kicked the bucket there weren't exactly a lack of candidates either."

"Shut up Toad," Lance groaned.

"And your other relatives didn't even want you," Pietro said. "I can relate to that."

"Yeah they found Lance wandering around in a toy store when he was four with only his blanket and a note pinned to his clothes," Todd said. "Free to a good home: One kid with a runny nose."

"Hence the abandonment issues," Fred said.

"Why don't you just tell my whole freakin' life story why don't you?" Lance shouted. "Who are you guys? My biographers?"

"Lance I'm sorry you had such a hard life and all," Kitty said. "But that doesn't excuse you from your actions!"

"But you gotta admit it explains some of it," Rogue said.

"Whose side are you on?" Ray asked. "I thought the plan was to break the two of them up?"

"That's your plan so you can get Tabby off your back," Rogue said.

"I thought she was off his back and on Peter's," Pietro snickered.

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!" Peter stood up. "I am going to say this out loud once and for all! I have never, ever expressed any interest in Tabitha whatsoever! The only girl I have ever wanted was Kitty! It's Tabitha who was wrecking things just because she was jealous!"

"Well it serves her right for stealing everybody's boyfriends!" Tabitha said angrily. "She's acting like Jean!"

"Hey!" Jean snapped.

"Well you gotta admit it is a bit accurate," Pietro said.

"Pietro will you shut up!" Amara snapped. "And you! The reason you lost Ray in the first place was that you never trusted him! Right Ray? Ray?"

Ray was looking at Althea who has her jacket off and was wearing a blue tank top. "Uh…yeah?"

Both Althea and Todd caught this. "What are you doing?" Todd asked. "You looking at my girl?"

"I think he is!" Althea looked at him. "Sorry pal, I'm taken!"

"You were looking at Althea?" Amara gasped.

"Well I was just trying to figure out what she sees in him," Ray scratched his head. "I mean she is pretty hot for crying out loud!"

"Why don't you cool off?" Althea growled as she redirected some water from a nearby vase onto his head.

"I don't believe this!" Amara shouted. "Here I am defending you and you're checking out other girls!"

"You are a total slimeball!" Tabitha shouted. "This is exactly how it happened with me!"

"See Kitty I'm innocent!" Peter told her. He got down on one knee before her.

"Oh give me a break!" Lance growled.

"Kitty ever since the first time we talked I have thought of no one else but you," Peter said. "You are my heart…my soul…my reason for being!"

"Out of the way pal," Lance shoved him. "She's mine now!"

"I won't let you take her!" Peter shoved him back. They started to tussle.

At the exact same time Tabitha and Amara were screaming at Ray. "I can't believe I was ever jealous of Kitty for trying to take you away from me!" Tabitha shouted.

"You can have him!" Amara snapped.

"But…but…" Ray gasped.

"So once again all of this trouble is really caused by the X-Geeks," Pietro snickered.

"No it isn't!" Jean shouted. Soon everyone was fighting in the room.

Except for Kitty. She stood there watching the arguments and fights until she couldn't take any more. "WILL ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP FIGHTING YOU JERKS!"

"Something tells me Kitty is a bit miffed," Pietro quipped.

"I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" Kitty screamed as she used her powers to run through the door. "I AM OUT OF HERE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LUNATICS AGAIN!"

"Kitty!" Both Lance and Peter cried. They chased after her.

"You creep!" Amara slapped Ray.

"I can't believe I ever dated you!" Tabitha snapped as she slapped him.

"Neither can I!" Amara snapped. "See Tabitha, it wasn't Kitty's fault at all! It was all his fault!"

"How could I have been so stupid!" Tabitha groaned. "I can't believe I was trying to get back at her when it was all his fault!" She slapped Ray again.

"You are the biggest pig!" Amara slapped Ray again. "You just let this happen and you didn't even say anything!"

"But…" Ray started to speak.

"Shut up, you liar!" Tabitha slapped him. "You could have just admitted you were lusting after Kitty but you preferred to sink our friendship instead!"

"You are such a…such a…Peasant!" Amara slapped him again. "No I take that back, most peasants have better manners and are a lot more honest! We are so through!"

"Don't even think of crawling back to me you worm!" Tabitha slapped Ray again.

"Louse!" Amara slapped him.

"Pig!" Tabitha slapped him.

"ENOUGH WITH THE SLAPPING ALREADY!" Ray screamed. "I GET THE MESSAGE!"

"I don't think you do," Amara slapped him again.

"Let's get him!" Tabitha started to power up.

"Good idea," So did Amara. "You want a hot girlfriend buster! Well now you got one!"

"Mr. Logan…" Ray started to back away.

"Don't look at me kid," Logan said. "You are on your own!"

"AAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHH!" Ray fled out into the hall with Amara and Tabitha at his heels.

"Come on Storm, we'd better get the fire extinguishers," Hank sighed as they ran after them.

"How much you wanna bet they're gonna blame this on us?" Althea said.

"Well if you nuts didn't come over here all the time…" Scott growled. Soon everyone was arguing again.

Psyche-Out sighed. "Anybody got any more aspirin?"

"Take mine," Xavier handed him some.

"This didn't go very well did it?" Shipwreck whistled.

"I am seriously beginning to rethink about this arrangement," Xavier grumbled.

Next: Kitty is missing! Well, not really…but Lance thinks so! Oh no…more trouble.