Chapter 10
Hi. The next chapter will answer ANY questions you have, and it will also tell a couple of things I forgot to explain, plus a bit of history on maria, so please feel free to ask anything. This will probably be the last chapter, aside from the one I just mentioned. Part two, here we come!
To disclaimers: Bonjour, je suis Angel. Je ne owner pas. Ain't mon Francais tres good? Hee hee...
-People aren't always what they want to be, so when they try to be that way, they always seem to screw everything they had up, when they were perfect enough as they could be before. Why people want to do that confuses me, it's just incomprehendable. Why make a good thing better, when it turns out worse? And why don't (or can't) they go back afterwards? Somethings I don't get, or will never understand. Nor will I ever want to do.-
Trinity ran to school the next day, full of fear. It was horrible, she wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't tell her mother, she didn't want to frighten her. But she was frightened to death herself. Still, after all the trouble, her mother mustn't know. After all, it was her mother who had suffered the most abuse, emotional and physical.
"Hey hey hey," Collin grinned as he saw her enter the school grounds. He opened his arms, but she just passed him by, dark and cold. Scared and afraid.
"Hi," she called back grimly.
"Oooo kay," he thought, trying to process this. Hm... abuse. She must still be recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering.
"Collin?" a sharp, clear voice rang out.
"Uh..., yeah?" he asked cluelessly, coming out of his trance in ' It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering.'s
"Yo, Collin,"
"Hey,"
"Sup?"
People began to come around. Old 'friends'. He wasn't sure anymore. Natasha? (Remeber, from the second chapter.) Zakarai? Chuck? Bradly? Malorie? They just didn't seem like friends anymore. Who were friends, people that hung out because you were popular, or people who... who... there wasn't a word to describe the kinda friend Trinity was. Brave. Calm. Quiet. Caring. Loyal. All together and a whole lot more, which would be: bravecalmquietcaringloyalalltogetherandawholelotmore. Not much of a moving, descriptive word. Huh. You couldn't even find it in Webster's. Stupid dictionary. How can you look up a word when you don't know what to begin with?
"Hi Collin," Natasha grinned as she saw Collin snap into himself.
"Hi," he grinned a phony grin.
(Author's note: You're gonna hate me for what happens next, but I swear, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!)
She pushed herself flirtatiously into his arms. He held her, debating the pros and cons of pushing away.
Pros: he would be happier. He didn't want to hold her.
Cons: Everyone would wonder why, and he might let slip that he liked Trinity.
Trinity. Dangit, everything led to Trinity. Trinity this, Trinity that. And yet.... he liked her. Even though she was in her corner, staring at the ground, off in space, not responding to her friends. Trinity, the calm and sincere, yet could break a thousand windows with a glance. Trinity.
'I don't care about her,' thought Collin, lying. 'I hate her. She hates me. She ignored me this morning. I hate her. Stupid, damn, Trinity. I don't need her. I could have Natasha. She's better. More popular. Socially acceptable. Better.'
The problem with lying to yourself is that you never believe it. You can lie to others and sometimes they might believe it, but since you are both people, the other side of your brain never believes it. But in this case, that is not a problem. That is good. Because if Collin had believed his lie, he might have spent the rest of his life with Natasha, getting married, having kids and.... URGH! That is not a pleasant thought.
He continued holding Natasha until the bell rung. Lie, lie lie. He destested it. Every friggin second he held her. Lie, lie lie. Eventually they got separated. Thank God.
He saw Trinity again in the rush.
"Hi," he grinned and made a stupid face.
Not even a smile.
"Hi," she whispered softly in return and then got lost again in the rush of students trying to find their locker and other oh-so-more-important- than-Trinity-and-Collin's-lovelife things.
She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering............
Math was very boring. Underline very. Now put it in itallics. And Bold it. And capslock it. And add a million exclamation points. And make it size one- million font. There, you get it? Hip hip hooray, adding fractions. Didn't they learn it at the begining of grade five? Wasn't grades five and six enough? Why make the torture last until grade seven? Why, why why?
Actually, maybe it was a good thing. Because the teacher was so busy telling other people of for not paying attention, that she didn't notice the five-billion notes Collin threw at Trinity's head. She didn't even look back. It became a game. He sat dead behind her. Five points if it landed in the hood. Ten if it hit her hair. Twenty if it hit the crown. A thousand if she turned around. A million if she read it. His score was 345. By the end of math class, it was 880. Collin had pretty good aim.
In English, they sat so far apart that they had no way of communicating. Normally they would've worked on the project. But today they had a 'special' assignment. So Collin stopped attempting notes and was forced to work on a story about Larry the Goldfish.
Larry the Goldfish
By Collin Jackson
One day Larry the goldfish got up in the morning. His life was so damn boring that he decided to put Collin out of his misery and commit suicide. But Larry didn't want an ordinary suicide, he wanted a suicidal bombing. So he bombed the school which was unusually deserted except for Trinity and the English teacher.
"No!" cried Collin. "Not Trinity!"
But goldfishes have stupid, small brains so Larry kept on bombing. Then heroic Collin rushed in to save people.
"Save me!" cried Trinity.
"Save me!" cried the English Teacher.
"F*** you!" Collin yelled to the English teacher, who died as he saved Trinity, who was so happy she kissed him and they got married and lived happily ever after.
THE END.
(Author's Note: What a touching story. For some reason, Collin didn't hand it in, though!)
Period after period of Trinity ignoring him, or just not noticing him, actually, it was finally lunch. Lunch happened to be one of Collin's favourite subjects. Weekends were his first favourite. Second was end of the day. Third was lunch. Fourth was gym. But for now it was lunch.
People gathered around in their normal groups. Trinity, who usually walked home, stayed. Odd. But Collin knew that somewhere up there, his angel was telling him this was his chance, so he walked up to Trinity, nervous but confident, a very weird mixture.
"Hi," he said. She looked down.
"Hi,"
"Well, 'sup?" he asked, confidence s-l-o-w-l-y going down the drain of life.
She just kept on looking to the ground.
"Omigosh! Will you friggin' say something? I'm sorry for whatever I friggin' did?! Will you just talk! I'm sorry! I don't know! Why are you not saying anything?!" he cried.
Trinity looked up at him, glaring, eyes red and bright, ferocious. Angry and mad, something he had never seen her be.
"You don't even know why I'm sad!" she snapped, looking at him straight in the eye. "You don't even know! Have you ever seen someone beating up someone you love?! Have you ever been stalked, and afraid of life?! Have you ever even cared?! Have you ever even thought?! Have you ever walked into your house, wondering if you'll find your mother on the floor next to a drunken idiot? Have you ever been considered 'tainted in childhood'?! Have you, Collin?! HAVE YOU?!!!"
Her voice was rising up in a fury, like a storm. Then it turned silkily, low, dangerously soft in a whisper.
"I have a right to be sad. I am a human, and I am really fed-up, scared, and sad!" she whispered in the same tone.
Collin sputtered at the sudden outburst of emotion. Trinity had never really had emotions before. Shy, grinning, lonely, yes, he had seen those, but.... this wasn't her. He struggled to reply.
"Well, if you'd stop feeling so sorry for yourself, than maybe you'd just look up and see that some people love you, it's not my fault your father doesn't!" was what came out.
Her mouth opened and closed several times, like a fish without water. She hadn't understood that he said he himself loved her. It hadn't come out that way.
"Why do you always pretend to be someone you're not, like you're all that?! Lift the veil please," she said in rage.
"Lift the veil? Lift the veil?! What the hell does that mean?!" he said angrily.
"It means I'm fed up of you hiding who you really are, and it's like there is a veil all over your body, like a burqa. Like you're too afaraid of everyone's else's opignion to really be the person you are. Can't you just let all that other stuff fall, please?" her voice wasn't angry anymore, but small and pleading.
"I'm sorry," he said, and truly felt bad.
She looked up at him.
He hugged her.
"Let go!" she cried. She HATED to be touched. It reminded her so much of everything! Every time she was touched by someone, other than her mother, it reminded her that other people's father's hugged them all the time. All the time. And she always felt like someone would hurt her. Every touch hurt. Her father used to love her mother, and he'd hug her all the time, but now he wanted to... kill them.
"Let go of me!" she cried again.
Then, suddenly, quick and hard, she broke free and punched him. He lost balance and fell in the soft snow. No damage had been done, but Trinity felt her heart rise and sink at the same time. She had used violence, yet it felt good.
She remembered what her mother had told her.
"Trinity, if anyone ever touches you and it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you kick, you scream, you punch! No one has the right to touch you if you don't like it! No one!" the words wavered across her mind.
"Yes, Mama," she, only eight, had promised.
These words came rushing back at her, and she felt content. Suddenly, crowds of people came around to see Collin, getting up from the ground. Natasha was the first to scream. "Get away from him, you fag. What the hell?"
"Shut up!"
"Bitch!"
"Jackass!"
Trinity ran to the furthest corner of the school. Just because Collin was popular. If it had been a different fight, they wouldn't be saying that, but just because it was Collin. She found her place by the forrest, and sat, sobbing. One familiar name rolled off her tongue.
"Why is the world against me, Harry?"
But Harry was not there.
OK! END OF PART ONE!!! Do you think next chapter should be what I described above, or just a normal chapter. PLEASE DO TELL AND ASK QUESTIONS!!! I'd love to reply to them. The next two chapters will be... different. That's all I can say.
QUESTION: Does anyone read author's notes at the top and bottom of the page?
See that button... the one called 'review'. It's magical. Press it and people all over the world will be ve-ry happy!
Hi. The next chapter will answer ANY questions you have, and it will also tell a couple of things I forgot to explain, plus a bit of history on maria, so please feel free to ask anything. This will probably be the last chapter, aside from the one I just mentioned. Part two, here we come!
To disclaimers: Bonjour, je suis Angel. Je ne owner pas. Ain't mon Francais tres good? Hee hee...
-People aren't always what they want to be, so when they try to be that way, they always seem to screw everything they had up, when they were perfect enough as they could be before. Why people want to do that confuses me, it's just incomprehendable. Why make a good thing better, when it turns out worse? And why don't (or can't) they go back afterwards? Somethings I don't get, or will never understand. Nor will I ever want to do.-
Trinity ran to school the next day, full of fear. It was horrible, she wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't tell her mother, she didn't want to frighten her. But she was frightened to death herself. Still, after all the trouble, her mother mustn't know. After all, it was her mother who had suffered the most abuse, emotional and physical.
"Hey hey hey," Collin grinned as he saw her enter the school grounds. He opened his arms, but she just passed him by, dark and cold. Scared and afraid.
"Hi," she called back grimly.
"Oooo kay," he thought, trying to process this. Hm... abuse. She must still be recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering.
"Collin?" a sharp, clear voice rang out.
"Uh..., yeah?" he asked cluelessly, coming out of his trance in ' It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering.'s
"Yo, Collin,"
"Hey,"
"Sup?"
People began to come around. Old 'friends'. He wasn't sure anymore. Natasha? (Remeber, from the second chapter.) Zakarai? Chuck? Bradly? Malorie? They just didn't seem like friends anymore. Who were friends, people that hung out because you were popular, or people who... who... there wasn't a word to describe the kinda friend Trinity was. Brave. Calm. Quiet. Caring. Loyal. All together and a whole lot more, which would be: bravecalmquietcaringloyalalltogetherandawholelotmore. Not much of a moving, descriptive word. Huh. You couldn't even find it in Webster's. Stupid dictionary. How can you look up a word when you don't know what to begin with?
"Hi Collin," Natasha grinned as she saw Collin snap into himself.
"Hi," he grinned a phony grin.
(Author's note: You're gonna hate me for what happens next, but I swear, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!)
She pushed herself flirtatiously into his arms. He held her, debating the pros and cons of pushing away.
Pros: he would be happier. He didn't want to hold her.
Cons: Everyone would wonder why, and he might let slip that he liked Trinity.
Trinity. Dangit, everything led to Trinity. Trinity this, Trinity that. And yet.... he liked her. Even though she was in her corner, staring at the ground, off in space, not responding to her friends. Trinity, the calm and sincere, yet could break a thousand windows with a glance. Trinity.
'I don't care about her,' thought Collin, lying. 'I hate her. She hates me. She ignored me this morning. I hate her. Stupid, damn, Trinity. I don't need her. I could have Natasha. She's better. More popular. Socially acceptable. Better.'
The problem with lying to yourself is that you never believe it. You can lie to others and sometimes they might believe it, but since you are both people, the other side of your brain never believes it. But in this case, that is not a problem. That is good. Because if Collin had believed his lie, he might have spent the rest of his life with Natasha, getting married, having kids and.... URGH! That is not a pleasant thought.
He continued holding Natasha until the bell rung. Lie, lie lie. He destested it. Every friggin second he held her. Lie, lie lie. Eventually they got separated. Thank God.
He saw Trinity again in the rush.
"Hi," he grinned and made a stupid face.
Not even a smile.
"Hi," she whispered softly in return and then got lost again in the rush of students trying to find their locker and other oh-so-more-important- than-Trinity-and-Collin's-lovelife things.
She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering. It wasn't that she hated him. She was just still recovering............
Math was very boring. Underline very. Now put it in itallics. And Bold it. And capslock it. And add a million exclamation points. And make it size one- million font. There, you get it? Hip hip hooray, adding fractions. Didn't they learn it at the begining of grade five? Wasn't grades five and six enough? Why make the torture last until grade seven? Why, why why?
Actually, maybe it was a good thing. Because the teacher was so busy telling other people of for not paying attention, that she didn't notice the five-billion notes Collin threw at Trinity's head. She didn't even look back. It became a game. He sat dead behind her. Five points if it landed in the hood. Ten if it hit her hair. Twenty if it hit the crown. A thousand if she turned around. A million if she read it. His score was 345. By the end of math class, it was 880. Collin had pretty good aim.
In English, they sat so far apart that they had no way of communicating. Normally they would've worked on the project. But today they had a 'special' assignment. So Collin stopped attempting notes and was forced to work on a story about Larry the Goldfish.
Larry the Goldfish
By Collin Jackson
One day Larry the goldfish got up in the morning. His life was so damn boring that he decided to put Collin out of his misery and commit suicide. But Larry didn't want an ordinary suicide, he wanted a suicidal bombing. So he bombed the school which was unusually deserted except for Trinity and the English teacher.
"No!" cried Collin. "Not Trinity!"
But goldfishes have stupid, small brains so Larry kept on bombing. Then heroic Collin rushed in to save people.
"Save me!" cried Trinity.
"Save me!" cried the English Teacher.
"F*** you!" Collin yelled to the English teacher, who died as he saved Trinity, who was so happy she kissed him and they got married and lived happily ever after.
THE END.
(Author's Note: What a touching story. For some reason, Collin didn't hand it in, though!)
Period after period of Trinity ignoring him, or just not noticing him, actually, it was finally lunch. Lunch happened to be one of Collin's favourite subjects. Weekends were his first favourite. Second was end of the day. Third was lunch. Fourth was gym. But for now it was lunch.
People gathered around in their normal groups. Trinity, who usually walked home, stayed. Odd. But Collin knew that somewhere up there, his angel was telling him this was his chance, so he walked up to Trinity, nervous but confident, a very weird mixture.
"Hi," he said. She looked down.
"Hi,"
"Well, 'sup?" he asked, confidence s-l-o-w-l-y going down the drain of life.
She just kept on looking to the ground.
"Omigosh! Will you friggin' say something? I'm sorry for whatever I friggin' did?! Will you just talk! I'm sorry! I don't know! Why are you not saying anything?!" he cried.
Trinity looked up at him, glaring, eyes red and bright, ferocious. Angry and mad, something he had never seen her be.
"You don't even know why I'm sad!" she snapped, looking at him straight in the eye. "You don't even know! Have you ever seen someone beating up someone you love?! Have you ever been stalked, and afraid of life?! Have you ever even cared?! Have you ever even thought?! Have you ever walked into your house, wondering if you'll find your mother on the floor next to a drunken idiot? Have you ever been considered 'tainted in childhood'?! Have you, Collin?! HAVE YOU?!!!"
Her voice was rising up in a fury, like a storm. Then it turned silkily, low, dangerously soft in a whisper.
"I have a right to be sad. I am a human, and I am really fed-up, scared, and sad!" she whispered in the same tone.
Collin sputtered at the sudden outburst of emotion. Trinity had never really had emotions before. Shy, grinning, lonely, yes, he had seen those, but.... this wasn't her. He struggled to reply.
"Well, if you'd stop feeling so sorry for yourself, than maybe you'd just look up and see that some people love you, it's not my fault your father doesn't!" was what came out.
Her mouth opened and closed several times, like a fish without water. She hadn't understood that he said he himself loved her. It hadn't come out that way.
"Why do you always pretend to be someone you're not, like you're all that?! Lift the veil please," she said in rage.
"Lift the veil? Lift the veil?! What the hell does that mean?!" he said angrily.
"It means I'm fed up of you hiding who you really are, and it's like there is a veil all over your body, like a burqa. Like you're too afaraid of everyone's else's opignion to really be the person you are. Can't you just let all that other stuff fall, please?" her voice wasn't angry anymore, but small and pleading.
"I'm sorry," he said, and truly felt bad.
She looked up at him.
He hugged her.
"Let go!" she cried. She HATED to be touched. It reminded her so much of everything! Every time she was touched by someone, other than her mother, it reminded her that other people's father's hugged them all the time. All the time. And she always felt like someone would hurt her. Every touch hurt. Her father used to love her mother, and he'd hug her all the time, but now he wanted to... kill them.
"Let go of me!" she cried again.
Then, suddenly, quick and hard, she broke free and punched him. He lost balance and fell in the soft snow. No damage had been done, but Trinity felt her heart rise and sink at the same time. She had used violence, yet it felt good.
She remembered what her mother had told her.
"Trinity, if anyone ever touches you and it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you kick, you scream, you punch! No one has the right to touch you if you don't like it! No one!" the words wavered across her mind.
"Yes, Mama," she, only eight, had promised.
These words came rushing back at her, and she felt content. Suddenly, crowds of people came around to see Collin, getting up from the ground. Natasha was the first to scream. "Get away from him, you fag. What the hell?"
"Shut up!"
"Bitch!"
"Jackass!"
Trinity ran to the furthest corner of the school. Just because Collin was popular. If it had been a different fight, they wouldn't be saying that, but just because it was Collin. She found her place by the forrest, and sat, sobbing. One familiar name rolled off her tongue.
"Why is the world against me, Harry?"
But Harry was not there.
OK! END OF PART ONE!!! Do you think next chapter should be what I described above, or just a normal chapter. PLEASE DO TELL AND ASK QUESTIONS!!! I'd love to reply to them. The next two chapters will be... different. That's all I can say.
QUESTION: Does anyone read author's notes at the top and bottom of the page?
See that button... the one called 'review'. It's magical. Press it and people all over the world will be ve-ry happy!