I'm getting behind with my writing, so updates may be a bit slower than they have been. The problem is, I'm trying to put together a web site - somewhere that I can put all my fiction together that isn't subject to the vagaries of ff.net. I can't believe how time-consuming it's been so far, and I've barely worked out a 'how to' which (more or less) works.

Chapter 23 - Recovery

When she had delivered Spike back to bed, she went to his pack. Despite the fact that he'd promised he wouldn't try to capture her again, she decided to get herself some insurance. She emptied the contents on another bed, finding the drug he had been using on her, and the syringe he had used to administer it. She picked them up in triumph, and turned to leave the barn.

"Told you I wouldn't hurt you," Spike reminded her.

"I know, and, it's not that I don't believe you, but …"

"It's ok. You haven't got any reason to believe me."

Despite his words, he looked hurt.

"I just don't want this stuff anywhere near me. You're not the only vampire who can wield a syringe."

He nodded, but looked unconvinced.

Buffy took her prize, and headed off to destroy it. She actually had meant what she said. Logic told her she shouldn't trust Spike, but instinct told her she could. Despite the fact that she knew she hadn't met him before, there was something familiar and comforting about his presence.

And then, there was the whole guilt thing. Not that she wanted him to kill her, of course she didn't. But, the thought of him giving up everything, becoming a fugitive from his own kind because he was willing to let her go …. Well, it seemed to be a big deal.

She considered what he could do, and an idea slipped into her mind that simply wouldn't go away again. The safest place for Spike would be with her. Helping to repel the invaders.

Wow! That was an idea guaranteed to impress anyone she mentioned it to. Taking a vampire among humans. Endangering their lives. Allowing him to find out what they were planning, and worst of all, on a personal level, giving him the opportunity to change his mind about not killing her.

And then there was Spike's side of it. Just because he'd decided not to kill her, why would he necessarily be willing to betray his own kind? There was no logic in the idea at all, yet the suggestion that it was his best option simply wouldn't go away.

Spike's mind was similarly occupied. He knew that to return to vampire-held territory would pretty well seal his fate. There was only the smallest chance that he could get back to the portal without being picked up and handed over to those who would demand an explanation for is failure. Not that he couldn't come up with a pretty convincing story, but he was certain there was no story that would be convincing enough to save him a very prolonged and painful end.

So, if he didn't go back the way he came, the only choice was to keep going forwards. That meant following the Slayer, and that would guarantee getting staked if she spotted him. Scrub that - when she spotted him. The alternative, that he could actually travel with her seemed completely ridiculous. The last thing she'd want would be to take a vampire with her. He could promise all he wanted, but she wouldn't believe it if he promised he'd not feed from humans. He wasn't even sure he could actually keep that promise indefinitely, but he was willing to try. And that was another surprise. He really was willing to change his life as radically as that.

Buffy returned about twenty minutes later to report that the day was warming up. Although it was still winter, the sun was warm, and there was almost no wind.

"Fancy coming outside?" she asked. "It's a beautiful day, and Margot offered that we can use the garden bench."

Spike smiled at the suggestion. Having lived most of his life in a world where sunshine was instant death, spending time outside sounded especially good.

"I'd like that," he replied, his mind momentarily taken from his thoughts about his future. He knew he had to make a decision soon, because at the rate his leg was healing, he'd be able to travel by next day.

Spike made it outside with only a little help from Buffy. Even she was surprised at how much better he was. It almost seemed like the bath had cleaned the remaining poison from the wound, allowing his accelerated healing to kick in fully.

Both were silent for a while, thinking through the ideas they had for the future. Buffy eventually broke the silence, asking, "So, where will you go?"

Spike looked up so abruptly that she was startled. Spike, on the other hand was amazed that she seemed to have been reading his mind.

"Well," he started slowly, drawing out the word. "Promise you'll listen, and not stake me right away?"

"I promise," she said, sounding less than convincing.

"See, if I go back, don't think I'll last very long. Thing is, spending time with you, well, it's made me think. If humans are just for food, I shouldn't be chatting to you. You shouldn't have saved my life. It's given me a chance to get to know you, and, I've got to say, don't much like the idea of you ending up as a happy-meal on legs for some no good vamp. Then, I think, is it right we use you the way we planned? Still a bit shaky on that one, but I'm thinking it's not as simple as I thought before. Maybe some humans would be willing to donate their blood from time to time, but they shouldn't be forced. I'm willing to stick to an animal diet, and you can keep an eye on me anyway. I've already promised I won't kill you, and I'll go one better. I'll help. I'll do my best to keep you safe, if you'll let me go with you, fight off the invaders."

He knew it sounded like he was rabbiting, but the truth was, he knew this was important. He didn't honestly think she was going to fall for it at all, but he had to try.

Buffy listened to his words in something like shock. The idea was so much what she had been thinking, that she started to seriously consider the prospect that he could actually read her mind. She looked at him, and knew he couldn't. His expression was so vulnerable, he couldn't possibly know she had had the same idea. He looked like he'd run if she made a wrong move, although, of course, he couldn't actually run right now.

"Oh," she managed. Her Slayer training came to the fore. No matter how she felt personally about this vampire, she had to consider the safety of other humans.

"It's ok, Buffy, I understand. You don't think you can trust me, and I don't blame you. I'll just head back and try to get to the portal. Maybe if I get to another world, I can hide out among my own kind."

"This portal, it must be pretty heavily guarded, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, of course it is. We can't have just anyone coming in here and taking over."

"So, what sort of chance do you think you have?"

"I'll be ok, honest. I can be a pretty slippery character when I have to."

"What sort of chance?" she repeated, already knowing the answer.

"Well, ok, maybe not great, but it might work," he admitted.

"Are you sure you can live on animal blood?"

He looked up in amazement. She was actually considering his idea. "I know I can, for a while, and if it becomes a problem, you'll just have to stake me. It'll be kinder than my own kind would do for me, anyway."

"Ok," she started slowly. "But, there are some rules. First, you stay with me. All the time. I'm not joking here. You get out of my sight once, and someone dies at all suspiciously, and there's a stake waiting for you. Ok?"

He nodded. This seemed too good to be true.

"Second, you make one attempt on my life, and the same goes. I'll stake you if I think for one second that you're even considering a change of plan."

"Agreed."

In truth, this was easier than the first promise. He was so besotted with this girl, that the prospect of hurting her was almost physically painful.

"What else?"

Buffy considered this for a moment. "Can't think of anything at the moment, but if I do, I'll let you know."

She looked up to see Margot approaching across the lawn. She was carrying a tray on which there were glasses and a jug of some sort of fruit juice.

"Beautiful day," she commented as she approached, setting the tray on the grass in front of them.

"It is," Buffy agreed.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better, Spike, isn't it? I'm quite amazed at your recovery."

"Thanks to you," Spike told her. "If you hadn't had the ingredients for the potion, I wouldn't have survived until morning."

Margot nodded.

"Is there something we can do to express our gratitude? Money? Let us pay for what we've used, at least. " Buffy elbowed Spike in the ribs as she spoke. He had mentioned having money, hadn't he?

"Yes, I'll be glad to reimburse you," Spike agreed.

"Oh, no need. Although, there is something you could do for me. You see, normally, in these parts, black pudding is a local delicacy. Folks from miles around come here to buy the blood to make it. My son stores it here, but, because there're so many people gone to the war, no one wants it. It's going to go off if I can't get rid of it. If you're going to the war, maybe you could buy it and see if you can sell it among the people there.

Buffy and Spike looked at one another. The old woman looked so honest, but it seemed unlikely that she would offer them exactly what would be most useful, and yet hardest to get. Spike had had visions of having to hunt rabbits and the like, and he hadn't been looking forward to that, at all.

"Yes, that'd be fine," he started, looking at the old woman. "How much would you want for it? We can't carry too much, but we'll take what we can."

"Buffy, why don't you come with me and see what we can sort out?"

"Spike, give me whatever money you have, and I'll arrange things with Margot."

"Bossy chit," Spike thought as he handed his money bag to her. "Only just joined the team, and she's giving orders."

He smiled, though, at the two receding figures. Right now, things were perfect. A little too perfect, and something was bound to go wrong, but he'd just enjoy things as they were. In the short term, he could spend time with Buffy, and he'd have enough blood to keep him going for a while - well, at least until it went off. He was feeling great, although he knew that was, at least in part, a result of the Slayer blood he had ingested.

He got up off the bench, and stretched out on the grass. It felt good. Everything felt good. Soon, he was asleep, and in his dreams, Buffy willingly offered him further nourishment from her veins, and he thought he was in heaven.

Buffy returned a while later to find him sleeping peacefully. Like that, it was hard to imagine how dangerous he could be. But, she couldn't allow herself to forget. She had agreed to take a quantity of blood from Margot, as much as she thought would keep anyway, and paid what Margot had asked. It didn't seem a lot, really, especially when it had to be specially packed, and Margot was more than willing to do that too. She shrugged off the feeling that everything was going too well, and forced herself to relax. She sat beside Spike's recumbent form, with her back against the bench. For a few more hours, she could forget she was the Slayer, forget there was a war to be fought. And, getting to spend them with Spike was a distinct bonus.

It was much later. The sky was dark and clear, and the temperature had fallen swiftly. After a simple meal with Margot, Buffy and Spike had returned to the barn, and both were preparing what they needed for the next day.

Spike was impressed when he saw the blood and how it was packed. It was well insulated, and between that and the cool weather, it would keep for quite a long time. Margot had been busy with other things, too. She'd found some other clothes which she said Buffy could keep, which were a lot more practical than what she'd been wearing since her bath. She claimed that they belonged to her daughter, who had since had three children, and could no longer wear that size. Although they appeared worn, they were in good condition, and a suspiciously good fit. Buffy had hugged Margot when she brought them, thanking her for all she had done. They intended to start early next morning, and probably wouldn't see her again. When Margot turned to hug Spike too, he had looked distinctly uncomfortable, but had come forward and hugged her back. Buffy couldn't help smiling at the expression on his face as he did it though. It said clearly, 'I'm a big bad vampire and we don't hug old ladies!'

Now, they were sitting close to the fire, watching the flames dance. Inevitably, they were sitting close together, and when Buffy looked round for a peek at Spike, she found he was studying her. She turned away quickly in embarrassment. His hand flew to her cheek, guiding her face back towards him. He held her face there, gently stroking her cheek, and looking closely at her. Instinctively, Buffy moved closer to him, her lips just brushing his before she realised what she was doing.

The kiss was over before it started, but Spike was completely dumbfounded. She had kissed him. Buffy had kissed him. He wanted to talk about it, ask her why, ask for another, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the way she would no longer meet his eyes.

At last, both prepared for bed. Neither slept well, the memory of one fleeting kiss burnt onto their memories. It had been sweet, but it hadn't been enough for either. The problem was, neither of them realised they both felt the same way.