Ieyre: Here's chapter 3...this is where it gets interesting...
Yami Ieyre: It gets interesting? Who would have thought?
Ieyre: Ignoring you.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Period.
*********
"...So you're telling us that you think WE can somehow miraculously stop Mokuba and Lisa from killing each other?"
Twenty minutes after he walked in, everyone was informed of the developments at Seto's mansion. With great detail and articulation, the young CEO spelled things out for the 5 teens.
"...Yes. Though coming to YOU was not my first choice..." He answered. "It...it wasn't even my idea." He added, half to himself.
"Oh REALLY?" Joey grinned. "Whose was it, then?"
"Er..."
//Oh, crap...saying my computer forced me to sounds so pathetic...//
"...an associate...of mine's." He finished lamely.
Joey lost interest immediately, as Yugi, Anzu, Bakura, and Honda all sat, pondering Kaiba's request.
"Oh, whatever..." Joey jumped back onto the couch.
"...So, are you going to help me?" Seto asked briskly after a moment of silence. "If you don't want to you don't have to, you know. I only thought that since you like Mokuba you'd want to help him sort out his odd dislike for Lisa." Seto narrowed his eyes.
Yugi looked up, momentarily stunned.
"Wha? Oh...Kaiba, of COURSE I'll help you!" He smiled warmly. "I'm glad you came to us...I was just asking my Yami what he thought we should do. He says...you should...eh..." Yugi sweatdropped. "...Hold a great party and invite all of us..."
"How the hell is that supposed to help me???"
"I have no idea...he claims that you should do it in return for our help because you can afford it and everyone else in this room is flat broke..."
Anzu, Joey, and Honda sweatdropped at the comment. Sometimes Yugi could be SO naïve.
"WHA?"
Ryou sat up suddenly and muttered loud enough for everyone to hear,
"Yami, I don't think that's going to help Kaiba-YAMI!"
"What's up, Ryou?" asked Honda with concern.
"Kaiba, my Yami wants me to convey this message to you," Ryou sighed. " 'Put both brats in a pit and have them fight to the death over one steak. Whoever survives gets let out. Only one brat left, problem solved.'" Ryou sighed again. "I don't know where he gets these ideas, honestly...Yami, that's barbaric!"
Seto stared very seriously at Ryou for a moment.
"Ryou...your Yami is very disturbed. Get help."
Yugi, Joey, Honda, and Ryou sweatdropped at the deadpan CEO.
"I can't believe you...you boys! The problem is so SIMPLE!"
Anzu had remained silent for quite a while, and everyone (with the exception of Seto) was wondering what she was thinking about.
"Don't you guys get it?" She demanded.
"Uh...get what? Oh, I'm confused!" Joey banged his head against a chair as if to boost his concentration level.
"When are you not, Joey? You know, they say Chihuahuas become disoriented easily. That would explain a lot." Seto smirked tauntingly.
"Hey!"
Seto ignored him. "So, tell me the incredibly obvious solution, oh wise Anzu Mazaki."
She rolled her eyes at him.
"It's staring you guys right in the face: MOKUBA HAS A CRUSH ON LISA!"
*************
Silence.
"Excuse me... 'crush'?" Seto raised an eyebrow. "Why would one surmise THAT from the evidence given?"
"Haven't YOU ever had a crush on a girl?" Anzu asked.
"No. Members of the opposite sex are worthless." Seto morosely replied.
"HEY!!" Anzu stood up threateningly.
"Don't be so damn righteous...members of MY sex are worthless as well."
"...do you like anything?"
"Myself, Mokuba, Duel Monsters and dueling, my company, computers..." He trailed off. "...That's about it. Now, back to the subject at hand-Mokuba...who OBVIOUSLY does NOT like Lisa."
"Oh, please. You don't know anything about human nature, do you? Haven't you ever heard of reverse psychology?"
Seto nodded, still dubious of where she was going with this.
"When a person-particularly pre-adolescents-has feelings for another, often they don't know how else but to get their feelings across but by showering the object of their affections with negative attention."
"Uh, English, please?" Joey scratched his head. [Ieyre: English, Japanese. Same difference.]
"Okay, baka, let me spell it out for you: When a kid likes a girl he bothers her and bugs her and tries to get a rise out of her, because he is too embarrassed to be nice to her." Anzu flashed the victory sign.
"Wow Anzu, you've really been paying attention to that new psychology class, haven't you? That's really neat..." Yugi smiled at her [Ieyre: That smile that makes fan girls go,"KAWAAAAAI!"], impressed.
"Well, I guess..." She blushed lightly and winked in return [Anzu/Yugi-ness...I make myself sick...]. This obvious display of affection disgusted other parties in the room, namely Joey, who proceeded to mock-vomit.
"So you think this "reverse psychology" concept refers to my brother, do you? Don't you think he's too smart for that? If he really did like Lisa then he would be able to tell her. Mokuba's no idiot." Seto seethed.
"Face it, Kaiba, your brother isn't really like you in that respect. He's a normal eleven-year-old...he does normal things. You don't see him talking about stock options, business associates and gross domestic product, do you?"
"Speaking of which, the stocks down. I need to pull some strings with McDonald's...you think screaming children would buy the garbage they serve there if it came with a Duel Monster's figurine?"
"See?" Anzu stuck out her hand, gesturing towards him. "Case in point-all he ever thinks about is his work!"
"Joey would go into a McDonald's and get a REBD toy TODAY if he could." Honda grinned.
"Hey! Why is everyone in here against me???"
Anzu rolled her eyes AGAIN. "My point is, Mokuba is more concentrated on 11-year-old things then you are on 16-year-old things. Which would explain why he has a crush on Lisa."
"So if he really does..." Ryou started, "How will that help us?"
"Simple." Anzu beamed. "We set them up."
******************
Silence. Once again.
"Anzu, I think you've be reading WAY too many romance novels..." Joey stated, matter-of-factly.
" 'Set up' an 11 and 12-year-old?!? That has to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" Seto turned red.
"But it's so ROMANTIC..." Anzu swooned, blushing and giggling. "Honestly, Kaiba you don't know anything about the joys of romance, do you?"
"I don't think I ever WANT to..." The CEO said, disgusted.
"But if they do end up...dating, or whatever it is kids do, then they won't be fighting." Yugi pointed out.
"Yeah, they'll be smooching, no fighting!" Joey agreed.
"It seems pretty logical..." Ryou admitted. "But how one would go about it is beyond me..."
"Who doesn't love a CHALLENGE?" said Honda heroically.
At that moment, Seto realized something.
//Lisa...she DFENATELY doesn't care for Mokuba, even if he REALLY DOES care for her...//
"It won't work." He said immediately.
"Huh?" Honda scratched his head.
"I said, it won't work."
"Why not?" Anzu asked, curiously.
"Because Lisa doesn't like Mokuba."
"How do YOU know?" Joey answered slyly.
"Because she likes-" He stopped short. "...someone else."
"Really...And who, pray tell, is this?" asked Joey, grinning. He already suspected who it was Lisa had feelings for, but wanted to drag out his fun
"...No one you know..."
"Is that so? Then, what, may I ask is...THIS?"
Deftly and smoothly Joey snatched the corner of a piece of paper sticking out of Seto's jacket. Smoothing out the letter with a look of triumph, he began to read aloud.
"'Dear Kebby-kun,'...woah, Kaiba, she already has a pet-name for you? You like to go fast, don't you?" He pulled the letter just out of the blushing Kaiba's reach. "'Words cannot describe how much I love you in my little beating Irish heart and soul and mind. I know you were just playing hard to get before and that you really feel the same way for me when you asked me how I felt about-'"
Seto jumped on top of Joey and wrestled the letter out of his grips, still blushing like mad. Everyone else in the room was laughing hysterically, most of all Joey.
Tears streaming down his face, Joey, still laughing, found words.
"She...seems a bit...young for you, Kaiba...I know they say that...rich guys can have whoever they want, but..."
"THAT IS NOT FUNNY!" Seto yelled, but everyone else seemed
Seto quickly regained his cold composure and coolly tore the pink letter in half. After a moment or so, the rest of the room also returned to normal, the Kaiba glaring daggers at the lot of them.
"So, this is why you didn't want us to set Lisa and Mokuba up..." Joey winked roguishly. "I didn't think you had it in you, Kaiba my man..."
"For the last time, I DO NOT LOVE LISA! She only THINKS I do because of a misunderstanding and now she keeps sending me these annoying, pre-teen LOVE NOTES!"
"Consider yourself lucky: Joey couldn't get a love note from an infant, let alone someone who can actually WRITE." Honda said cheeringly.
"That helps, Hiroto. Really." Seto responded coldly.
"That's a LIE!" Joey glared at Honda.
"This is all the more reason that we should SET THEM UP." Anzu said. "Then Lisa will stop showering you with all this unwanted attention AS WELL as Mokuba and Lisa getting along. It's killing two birds with one stone."
Seto thought for a second.
"Ryou, what was your idea again?"
"KAIBA!"
"Alright, alright...I agree to your terms. But Anzu...are you sure you know what you're doing?" He asked uneasily.
"Oh, SURE! I've set up TONS of people before! Just ask Yugi...I'm a GREAT matchmaker...no one I've set up has ever broken up before!" Anzu beamed confidently. "You don't have a thing to worry about."
Seto sweatdropped.
//Why do I have the feeling I'm only digging myself deeper?// He thought.
******************
Ieyre: Because this is my semi-Seto-torture fic, that's why, Kaiba-boy!
Yami Ieyre: You're never gonna finish this in time, you do know that aibou...
Ieyre: I might, there are only two more chapters...besides, no one even said the story had to be finished.
Yami Ieyre: But you've already done 5000 words and I have yet to see a single bit of Lisa/Mokuba fluff *sweatdrop*
Ieyre: That only comes at chapter 5, Yami!
Yami Ieyre: Oh...well, whatever. Everyone else is ten times better than you, anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Ieyre: *glares* R&R everyone! ~Ciao~!
Yami Ieyre: Yeah, what she said.
Yami Ieyre: It gets interesting? Who would have thought?
Ieyre: Ignoring you.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Period.
*********
"...So you're telling us that you think WE can somehow miraculously stop Mokuba and Lisa from killing each other?"
Twenty minutes after he walked in, everyone was informed of the developments at Seto's mansion. With great detail and articulation, the young CEO spelled things out for the 5 teens.
"...Yes. Though coming to YOU was not my first choice..." He answered. "It...it wasn't even my idea." He added, half to himself.
"Oh REALLY?" Joey grinned. "Whose was it, then?"
"Er..."
//Oh, crap...saying my computer forced me to sounds so pathetic...//
"...an associate...of mine's." He finished lamely.
Joey lost interest immediately, as Yugi, Anzu, Bakura, and Honda all sat, pondering Kaiba's request.
"Oh, whatever..." Joey jumped back onto the couch.
"...So, are you going to help me?" Seto asked briskly after a moment of silence. "If you don't want to you don't have to, you know. I only thought that since you like Mokuba you'd want to help him sort out his odd dislike for Lisa." Seto narrowed his eyes.
Yugi looked up, momentarily stunned.
"Wha? Oh...Kaiba, of COURSE I'll help you!" He smiled warmly. "I'm glad you came to us...I was just asking my Yami what he thought we should do. He says...you should...eh..." Yugi sweatdropped. "...Hold a great party and invite all of us..."
"How the hell is that supposed to help me???"
"I have no idea...he claims that you should do it in return for our help because you can afford it and everyone else in this room is flat broke..."
Anzu, Joey, and Honda sweatdropped at the comment. Sometimes Yugi could be SO naïve.
"WHA?"
Ryou sat up suddenly and muttered loud enough for everyone to hear,
"Yami, I don't think that's going to help Kaiba-YAMI!"
"What's up, Ryou?" asked Honda with concern.
"Kaiba, my Yami wants me to convey this message to you," Ryou sighed. " 'Put both brats in a pit and have them fight to the death over one steak. Whoever survives gets let out. Only one brat left, problem solved.'" Ryou sighed again. "I don't know where he gets these ideas, honestly...Yami, that's barbaric!"
Seto stared very seriously at Ryou for a moment.
"Ryou...your Yami is very disturbed. Get help."
Yugi, Joey, Honda, and Ryou sweatdropped at the deadpan CEO.
"I can't believe you...you boys! The problem is so SIMPLE!"
Anzu had remained silent for quite a while, and everyone (with the exception of Seto) was wondering what she was thinking about.
"Don't you guys get it?" She demanded.
"Uh...get what? Oh, I'm confused!" Joey banged his head against a chair as if to boost his concentration level.
"When are you not, Joey? You know, they say Chihuahuas become disoriented easily. That would explain a lot." Seto smirked tauntingly.
"Hey!"
Seto ignored him. "So, tell me the incredibly obvious solution, oh wise Anzu Mazaki."
She rolled her eyes at him.
"It's staring you guys right in the face: MOKUBA HAS A CRUSH ON LISA!"
*************
Silence.
"Excuse me... 'crush'?" Seto raised an eyebrow. "Why would one surmise THAT from the evidence given?"
"Haven't YOU ever had a crush on a girl?" Anzu asked.
"No. Members of the opposite sex are worthless." Seto morosely replied.
"HEY!!" Anzu stood up threateningly.
"Don't be so damn righteous...members of MY sex are worthless as well."
"...do you like anything?"
"Myself, Mokuba, Duel Monsters and dueling, my company, computers..." He trailed off. "...That's about it. Now, back to the subject at hand-Mokuba...who OBVIOUSLY does NOT like Lisa."
"Oh, please. You don't know anything about human nature, do you? Haven't you ever heard of reverse psychology?"
Seto nodded, still dubious of where she was going with this.
"When a person-particularly pre-adolescents-has feelings for another, often they don't know how else but to get their feelings across but by showering the object of their affections with negative attention."
"Uh, English, please?" Joey scratched his head. [Ieyre: English, Japanese. Same difference.]
"Okay, baka, let me spell it out for you: When a kid likes a girl he bothers her and bugs her and tries to get a rise out of her, because he is too embarrassed to be nice to her." Anzu flashed the victory sign.
"Wow Anzu, you've really been paying attention to that new psychology class, haven't you? That's really neat..." Yugi smiled at her [Ieyre: That smile that makes fan girls go,"KAWAAAAAI!"], impressed.
"Well, I guess..." She blushed lightly and winked in return [Anzu/Yugi-ness...I make myself sick...]. This obvious display of affection disgusted other parties in the room, namely Joey, who proceeded to mock-vomit.
"So you think this "reverse psychology" concept refers to my brother, do you? Don't you think he's too smart for that? If he really did like Lisa then he would be able to tell her. Mokuba's no idiot." Seto seethed.
"Face it, Kaiba, your brother isn't really like you in that respect. He's a normal eleven-year-old...he does normal things. You don't see him talking about stock options, business associates and gross domestic product, do you?"
"Speaking of which, the stocks down. I need to pull some strings with McDonald's...you think screaming children would buy the garbage they serve there if it came with a Duel Monster's figurine?"
"See?" Anzu stuck out her hand, gesturing towards him. "Case in point-all he ever thinks about is his work!"
"Joey would go into a McDonald's and get a REBD toy TODAY if he could." Honda grinned.
"Hey! Why is everyone in here against me???"
Anzu rolled her eyes AGAIN. "My point is, Mokuba is more concentrated on 11-year-old things then you are on 16-year-old things. Which would explain why he has a crush on Lisa."
"So if he really does..." Ryou started, "How will that help us?"
"Simple." Anzu beamed. "We set them up."
******************
Silence. Once again.
"Anzu, I think you've be reading WAY too many romance novels..." Joey stated, matter-of-factly.
" 'Set up' an 11 and 12-year-old?!? That has to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" Seto turned red.
"But it's so ROMANTIC..." Anzu swooned, blushing and giggling. "Honestly, Kaiba you don't know anything about the joys of romance, do you?"
"I don't think I ever WANT to..." The CEO said, disgusted.
"But if they do end up...dating, or whatever it is kids do, then they won't be fighting." Yugi pointed out.
"Yeah, they'll be smooching, no fighting!" Joey agreed.
"It seems pretty logical..." Ryou admitted. "But how one would go about it is beyond me..."
"Who doesn't love a CHALLENGE?" said Honda heroically.
At that moment, Seto realized something.
//Lisa...she DFENATELY doesn't care for Mokuba, even if he REALLY DOES care for her...//
"It won't work." He said immediately.
"Huh?" Honda scratched his head.
"I said, it won't work."
"Why not?" Anzu asked, curiously.
"Because Lisa doesn't like Mokuba."
"How do YOU know?" Joey answered slyly.
"Because she likes-" He stopped short. "...someone else."
"Really...And who, pray tell, is this?" asked Joey, grinning. He already suspected who it was Lisa had feelings for, but wanted to drag out his fun
"...No one you know..."
"Is that so? Then, what, may I ask is...THIS?"
Deftly and smoothly Joey snatched the corner of a piece of paper sticking out of Seto's jacket. Smoothing out the letter with a look of triumph, he began to read aloud.
"'Dear Kebby-kun,'...woah, Kaiba, she already has a pet-name for you? You like to go fast, don't you?" He pulled the letter just out of the blushing Kaiba's reach. "'Words cannot describe how much I love you in my little beating Irish heart and soul and mind. I know you were just playing hard to get before and that you really feel the same way for me when you asked me how I felt about-'"
Seto jumped on top of Joey and wrestled the letter out of his grips, still blushing like mad. Everyone else in the room was laughing hysterically, most of all Joey.
Tears streaming down his face, Joey, still laughing, found words.
"She...seems a bit...young for you, Kaiba...I know they say that...rich guys can have whoever they want, but..."
"THAT IS NOT FUNNY!" Seto yelled, but everyone else seemed
Seto quickly regained his cold composure and coolly tore the pink letter in half. After a moment or so, the rest of the room also returned to normal, the Kaiba glaring daggers at the lot of them.
"So, this is why you didn't want us to set Lisa and Mokuba up..." Joey winked roguishly. "I didn't think you had it in you, Kaiba my man..."
"For the last time, I DO NOT LOVE LISA! She only THINKS I do because of a misunderstanding and now she keeps sending me these annoying, pre-teen LOVE NOTES!"
"Consider yourself lucky: Joey couldn't get a love note from an infant, let alone someone who can actually WRITE." Honda said cheeringly.
"That helps, Hiroto. Really." Seto responded coldly.
"That's a LIE!" Joey glared at Honda.
"This is all the more reason that we should SET THEM UP." Anzu said. "Then Lisa will stop showering you with all this unwanted attention AS WELL as Mokuba and Lisa getting along. It's killing two birds with one stone."
Seto thought for a second.
"Ryou, what was your idea again?"
"KAIBA!"
"Alright, alright...I agree to your terms. But Anzu...are you sure you know what you're doing?" He asked uneasily.
"Oh, SURE! I've set up TONS of people before! Just ask Yugi...I'm a GREAT matchmaker...no one I've set up has ever broken up before!" Anzu beamed confidently. "You don't have a thing to worry about."
Seto sweatdropped.
//Why do I have the feeling I'm only digging myself deeper?// He thought.
******************
Ieyre: Because this is my semi-Seto-torture fic, that's why, Kaiba-boy!
Yami Ieyre: You're never gonna finish this in time, you do know that aibou...
Ieyre: I might, there are only two more chapters...besides, no one even said the story had to be finished.
Yami Ieyre: But you've already done 5000 words and I have yet to see a single bit of Lisa/Mokuba fluff *sweatdrop*
Ieyre: That only comes at chapter 5, Yami!
Yami Ieyre: Oh...well, whatever. Everyone else is ten times better than you, anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Ieyre: *glares* R&R everyone! ~Ciao~!
Yami Ieyre: Yeah, what she said.