Chapter Three- Dr. Friskies

Laurie entered the lounge that the 'travel agent' meeting was to be held in.  The room smelled just like her lembas perfume, and there were already many other agents hanging about with their daiquiris and pina coladas in the oriental-themed lounge.  Raising her arm, a waiter came to her with a tray of frozen drinks.  She picked one and found an empty seat on a couch near the front of the room.  Just as she sat, the lights dimmed a bit and a hush went over the room.  From the red carpet between the rows of sofas,  a balding man was rolled up in a wheelchair to the barely-raised stage at the front of the room by a younger man.  A Chihuahua sat on his lap and he gently stroked it as the younger man adjusted the microphone.

"Hello travel agents of Middle Earth!" He spoke clearly into the microphone. "I am Dr. Friskies.  I'm sure many of you are wondering why you were asked to come on the ship this week.  All shall be revealed!"  Dr. Friskies was Middle-Earth's head travel agent.  He monitored all travel related activities and was the president of the Greatest Travel Agents of Middle Earth Club.  A chart was rolled onstage and set next to Dr. Friskies who was then handed a yardstick.  Everyone in the room jumped when he slapped the chart with his stick.  "Everyday of the year, we spend hours on the phone with our customers, with the cruise-lines, with the air-lines, and for what?  A measly 20 dollar commission?"

There were grunts of affirmation from all around. 

"We work hard to provide relaxing vacations for our elvish customers, while we get the hassle!"

The sounds were louder this time.

"For years our kind have kept the elves of Middle Earth happy with exotic and extravagant getaways!  I say we get some REAL commission!" He flipped the blank page of the chart over and there was a picture of a less-than-half-dressed she-elf in a naughty position. "OH!  Sorry, wrong picture!" he flipped that page to reveal a glossy photo of none other than, "THE PRINCE OF MIRKWOOD!!!"  Dr. Friskies dog and every agent in the room jumped again when he yelled.

Laurie stood up and walked to the front of the stage. "Miss Redmaple," Dr. Friskies motioned to her. "Has lured Legolas Greenleaf to the ship.  On the fifth day of our excursion, when we're in Jamaica, he will be taken to a nearby beach.  When he returns, instead of taking him to customs, we will take him to a cell in the bottom of the ship.  We will keep him there until Thranduil Greenleaf, king of Mirkwood, pays us…" Dr. Friskies put his left pinkie up to his mouth. "One million lembas!"  He broke into evil villain laughter with all of the other agents in the room. 

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

But one agent spoke up, after the 'Mwahahas' were over. "I thought lembas were a Lothlorien thing!"

The doctor growled. "Details, details!" He continued petting his little dog before picking his speech back up. "I called only you agents, because you are the best of the best!  You go above and beyond when it comes to pleasing your clients!  You deserve more than you've gotten!  You shall taste elvish whey-bread!" He yelled, sending his audience into a fit of cheers as they whipped out bottles of lembas perfume and cologne and sprayed it about the room.

(A/N:  Sorry about the whole Friskies thing.  I was going to give him a better name, but I couldn't think of one, and my cat's Ocean Whitefish kitty treats were sitting next to me [no, NOT because I was eating them!] so I just typed in Friskies after the Dr.!)