(Disclaimer:) I had no part in the creating of Inu-Yasha at all. But I do own some pretty nifty merchandise! ::big smile:: So that's almost as good, right? ::I wish....:: Oh, and not to forget--- I don't own Iron Chef, either! That crazy monkey man owns it... I don't recall his name!
A.N. : : Hello everyone! Gosh, I haven't written in a looooong time.... At least for FanFiction.net. lol. But I was recently inspired yet again by an Iron Chef marathon (12 hours) to continue this interesting saga... More disgusting food, strange twists and irony to come! Irony.. heh... Iron Chef, Irony! Hahaha! Isn't that IRONic!? So please read and rewiew so I can be inspired more on a sequal to this story!
Iron Chef: Inu-Yasha style!
Battle 3
By: Emiru the Metal Mononoke
(::Text appears:: Tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you what you are...)
::Host, dressed in a baboon pelt over his famous cow-like shirt appears::
Host: If memory serves me right, there is a man in this world that has the strength to challenge one of my men of steel, the Iron Chefs. He was raised near a woman's bath house in Feudal Japan, and has thus grown to be one of the most lecherous men in the world. Specializing in many cuisine styles, shall he be one to defeat my Iron Chefs?!
::Overly dramatic opera music plays, and the Iron Chef logo appears on the screen, followed by the host biting one of those yellow bell peppers, followed by a gag.::
Host: Now, Miroku, stand before my men of iron and show them your skill! Rise, Iron Chefs! And show this man the power of IRON!
:: Kouga, Kirara, and Shippo rise up on platforms::
Miroku: Shippo! You and I shall battle for Kagome's love!
Shippo: But I don't even LIKE Kagome!
Miroku: Silence, fool! Of course you do! Everyone does!
Shippo: O....k.....
Host: Shippo! Miroku! Are you prepaired for the difficult battle ahead of you?
::Miroku and Shippo both blink twice::
Together:: Yes...
Host:: Well then! I shall unvail the main ingrediant!
::Host pulls a cloth over a fishtank sized container revealing...::
Host:: Mint flavored wax!
Miroku: Mint flavored.... wax....?
Host:: Yes, you use it for braces, you know?
Miroku: Braces...?
Shippo: Do many people eat this?
Host: I do. (Opens up mouth to reveal chewed pieces of wax) Now, begin the battle! You have one hour to make as many dishes as possible!
Kaasan: Joining us on the panel today is:
Famous murderer: Himowaru Osamu
High school student: Higurashi Kagome
Sexy bishounen: Sesshomaru-Sama
Kagome: It's an honor to be here.
Osamu: Wax? We never had anything as good as this in prison!
Sesshomaru: I can't blame you for inviting someone as beautiful as me...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota?
Ota: The ingrediants that challenger just put into that pot were wax and sake!
Kaasan: Thank you, Ota!
Kagome: Perhaps he's planning to make some sort of sauce?
Osamu: Ah, I can't wait!
::Shippo melts some wax in a pot on the stove, and dips some acorns in the melted wax::
Ota: Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes, Ota!
Ota: Iron Chef Shippo has just melted wax and is now dipping acorns into it!
Kagome: Ah my! How splendid!
Osamu: Acorns? I don't recall ever eating one of those...
Sesshomaru: Oh no! The wax could possibly get into my perfect hair!
::Miroku pulls out a sledge hammer and starts pounding a slab of wax::
Ota: Kaasan! Challenger Miroku is now tenderizing the wax!
Osamu: Oh, perhaps he plans make a suflee? Or make flambay?
Kagome: Or make some sort of parfait? Or puree?
Sesshomaru: Or run in the rain while eating hay and acting gay?
Kaasan: I doubt it, considering he is Japanese, not French.
Kagome: True...
::Miroku puts the wax in the oven in a cake pan::
Osamu: Aa! A cake!
Sesshomaru: I love cake!
::Shippo puts some wax into a blender::
Kagome:: Hey... won't the wax stick to the blades in the blender...?
Ota: That's not likely, due to the fact that braces wax is designed not to get caught up in metal!
Kagome: Aa...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota!
Ota: The iron chef says that he is planning to make something called a 'milkshake' with the wax in the blender!
Kaasan: Oh, my! It sounds as if milk is going to be added to the blender?
Kagome: Uuh... That's usually how you make a milkshake. - -;
::Shippo adds milk and a little bit of vanilla ice creme to the blender::
::Miroku coats a slab of wax with salt and leaves::
Ota: Aah Kaasan Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes, Ota!
Ota: It looks like the challenger is seasoning the wax with salt!
Sesshomaru: Oh, wow! I can't wait to sink my teeth into THAT wax!
Osamu: Yes, it's sure to be elegant!
::Miroku puts some wax into an ice cream maker::
Kagome: Oh, wow! Wax ice cream! Yummm...
::Miroku blows a kiss at Kagome, sending Inu-Yasha down from the sidelines to strangle him::
Kagome: ::stares::
Inu-Yasha: Damn you, Miroku! Tryin' to hit on my girl!
Miroku: Oh, sure she's your girl, Inu-Yasha! You know Kagome loves me, you're just jealous!
*Kagome sinks down in her chair*
Inu-Yasha: I'll let you go this time, Miroku, but next time you won't be so lucky!
Miroku: *mumbles* stupid dog...
Inu-Yasha: That's it! ::steals Miroku's chef hat and puts it on running around in circles:: I've got yer hat! I've got yer HATTT! ::flies up to the stands next to Kagome::
Miroku: o.O;; Ooookay....
Ota: Yeer.... Back to the show!
Speaker: 30 minutes... remaining...
Kaasan: Half way through this battle, who will win?! Well, we'll just have to wait to find out, I suppose! We'll be right back with Iron Chef!
~~~Commericials~~~
Girl: Are you hungry? How about REALLY hungry? Yes, you say? Well, then! Grab a cup of instant ramen! Guarenteed to get you the man of your dreams, the smell of fresh ramen will send your lover running to your side! Try some ramen today! I mean, isn't love worth the 13 cents it costs to buy a package or ramen? Try it today!
~~~End of commercials~~~
Kaasan: Welcome back! As we left off, the challenger and a man from the stands just got into a fight! But now we're back to the cooking excitment of Iron Chef!
::Shippo pours the wax milkshake into tall glasses, and Miroku takes his wax cake out of the oven::
Miroku: This cake shall be as sweet as Kagome!
Kagome: *sweat* give me a break...
Inu-Yasha: I've got his hat! Kagome I got his hat! ::cuddles up in Kagome's lap:: Haaaaat....
Osamu: So you two are lovers?
Kagome: Eeer... no, no we're not!
::Inu-Yasha purrs and rubs his head on Kagome, like a cat::
Sessho-Maru: Inu-Yasha, you animal!
Kagome: *stare*
Kaasan: What a show this has been! Action, romance, and best of all, food! Buddah must be blessing us!
::Miroku frosts his cake with processed tofu::
Osamu: Elegant...! Tofu!
Ota: Aa! Kaasan! It appears the challenger has frosted the wax cake with a mixture of processed tofu, soy sauce, and sugar!
Kaasan: Oh wow, sugar! Sugar is so hard to come by now a days...
Kagome: It is?
Kaasan: Well, no... But what if it was hard to come by?
Inu-Yasha: *rubbing his head on Kagome's leg* haaaat... Kagome I have a hatttt!
Kagome: *pets Inu-Yasha's head* Yes, isn't that exciting Inu-Yasha!
Osamu: Lovers...
Sessho-Maru: So, have you two... eer... you know?
Kagome: Shaken hands? Of course!
Inu-Yasha: Meoooow...
~Starting next week, NEKO-YASHA! An epic tale of a dog demon who got a species change!~
Kagome: *blink blink* Where'd that come from?
Me: *standing on a cloud above the kitchen stadium* Sorry, Kagome! But today I am your god! Bwahaha! Now... eer.. Back to the show! Sorry about that! ::waves:: ^ ^;;
Kaasan: o.O;; Do strange things happen to you often, Higurashi San?
Kagome: Too often, I'm afraid.
::Miroku puts an odd ingrediant on a cutting board::
Osamu: My God! Is-- Is that what I think it is?!
Ota: Yes. Alligator tumors.
Kaasan: He's making the alligator tumors into some type of paste! How exciting!
Sessho-Maru: By GOD I love alligator tumors! I can't wait to sink my fangs into those decaying tumors!
Inu-Yasha: Haaaat... Nyaaa...
::Shippo covers steak in wax, then throws it in the oven::
Speaker: Fifteen minutes of battle... Remaining...
Ota: Kaasan! It appears as if the Iron Chef is making wax steak!
Osamu: Wax steak? Wow, how elegant!
Kaasan: Less than fifteen minutes of this exciting battle remaining! I can hardly sustain myself! This is so exciting!
Ota: Calm yourself, Kaasan! We're jipped off and don't even get to eat the food that the Iron Chefs make!
Kaasan: Damn, you're right!
::Miroku pulls his salt covered tenderised wax out of the oven::
Osamu: Oh, this smell is heavenly!
::Shippo mixes wax and sunflower seeds together::
Ota: Kaasan! The Iron Chef has just made some sort of concoction out of rice, sunflower seeds (shelled) and of course, mint flavored wax.
Kaasan: Thank you for the update, Ota!
Kagome: Rice balls, maybe?
::Miroku makes sushi, but instead of using meat, adds mint flavored wax in the middle::
Ota: The challenger is making wax sushi! How creative!
Sessho Maru: Is that guy really that desperate for ideas that hes making wax sushi? How pathedic! I, of course, would make something much more elegant and classy, like a wax fondue! I love French food!
Miroku: I heard that, you pansy!
Sessho Maru: What was that? I, the great Sessho Maru Sama, a pansy? Don't be rediculous! No pansy would have such perfect hair, nails, and complection as I!
Kagome: - -; *sigh* I think that's his point...
Speaker: 10 minutes of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: When we return, this indepth battle will continue for the last 10 minutes! Now, to our sponcers!
~Commercials~
Next week on Fuji TV, starts the epic tale of a dog gone cat! By the insane Emiru the Metal Mononoke comes Neko-Yasha, the cat demon! Join Kagome, your average cat owner, as she meets girls best friend! Cat demons, of course! Neko Yasha is agile, enjoys rubbing his head on stuff, and of course, loves his mousey ( and his hat )! Outta the way Spring and Chaos! There's a new cat in town!
Inu... eer.. Neko Yasha: Nyaaaa! I still got his hat Kagomeeee! His haaaaaat!
~End of commercials~
Kaasan: Welcome back! As we last left off, the challenger and a panelest got into an arguement! And there's less than 10 minutes left of this exciting challenge!
Ota: Kaasan! Upon asking the challenger how he felt about this battle, he said 'I will win no matter what! My love for Kagome itself could melt this wax!'
Kaasan: Thanks, Ota. It sounds as if the challenger is sure he's going to win and is confident in his skills!
Kagome: *mumbles* What skill?
Inu-Yasha: Ka-go-meee! *rub rub*
Sessho Maru: Okay, Inu-Yasha, now you're just making me sick! Shut up already!
::Miroku is seen running around the kitchen stadium adding finishing touches to his dishes::
::Shippo puts his dishes together, and decorates his plates with little acorns::
Ota: It appears as if the challenger and the Iron Chef are adding the finishing touches to their dishes!
Kaasan: I must say, Ota, that this has truly been one of the most exciting and surprising battles thus far in kitchen stadium!
Ota: Tell me about it! We've seen demons, perverted monks, and kitsune! This is so exciting!
Speaker: Five minutes of battle... Remaining...
::Miroku pulls out a cooking torch and starts flaming his food::
Osamu: My, God! What a rare and exotic cooking technique! I must try this at home some time!
::wax begins spraying all over the place, like rain. The host comes out and starts dancing under it, getting his clothes covered in wax::
Kaasan: Oh my! The chairman is apparently enjoying this moment!
Speaker: Three minutes of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: Oh, wow! Only three minutes left of this battle!
Ota: As you can see, the contestants appear to be a bit frantic!
::Miroku decorates his dishes, and sits down to take a breether::
::Shippo pours wine into glasses, and sneaks a sip::
Kagome: Take that wine away from him! He's no where near the legal drinking age!
::Miroku runs up to Shippo (who is now chugging wine), grabs the bottle of wine from him, and starts drinking it for him::
Kagome: Well, that's a little better, I suppose...
Speaker: Two minues of battle... Remaining...
Sessho Maru: Hey, I want some!
Inu Yasha: Me, too!
Kagome: Wow... he spoke!
Osamu: I want some, too!
::The three men collectively gather around the bottle of wine and start drinking it down::
Miroku: Hey, this is my wine!
Shippo: Actually...
Speaker: One minute of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: Oh, my! Only one minute left of battle! And most of the men here seem to be enjoying kitchen stadium's large stock of wine...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota!
Ota: It appears as if the men are drinking some sort of Italian red wine!
Kagome: Do you guys have to comment on everything that goes on?
Kaasan: Actucally, yes Hugurashi San! We are commentators, after all!
Speaker: Ten seconds of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: The heat is on! Who's cuisine will reign supreme?! ( I love that line)
Speaker: Five, four, three, two, one...
::The men spit their wine out in shock::
Miroku: Aaaw...The battle's already over?
~~~Tasting and Judgement~~~
Kaasan: Our Challenger has prepaired for us today a total of five dishes! First is tenderised salted mint wax! He claims that this reminds him of the first time he tried to touch Kagome's butt 'sweet yet painful... very...'. His second dish is wax sushi, saying that he was inspired by Japan's complex yet simple ways of life. His third dish is flaming wax covered alligator tumors, saying that he was inspired by Inu Yasha's disgusting ways. Next is wax cake! With a lovely tofu frosting, it's sure to be great! And finally, wax ice cream! This ice cream has a minty and cool taste...
And our Iron Chef is presenting five dishes to us today! First is wax ice cream! He says he was inspired by his favorite food, ice cream! Next is wax rice balls! It seems as if bot of the contestants tried one traditional Japanese dish tonight! Third is 'falling acorns' which is wax covered acorns! How exotic and strange! Next is wax steak, which is just as it sounds, steaks dipped and cooked in wax! How will the panel react to this dish? And finally wax milk shakes! It seems as if our Iron Chef has quite the sweet tooth!
Ota: And now, tasting and judgement!
Kaasan: On the panel today we have:
Dog demon Inu-Yasha
High school student Higurashi Kagome
Bishounen Sessho Maru
and famous murderer Himowaru Osamu
First we'll taste the challenger's dishes.
::Miroku pulls in a cart with all his dishes::
Miroku: First I'll have you try my tenderized saltes mint wax... please enjoy.
Kagome: *chews it very slowly* This is... really... chewy... and disgusting...
Inu-Yasha: *munch munch* The salt is a bit much... and are these leaves in here? *holds up a leaf*.
Miroku: No, actucally I think Shippo was attempting to use magic on me, and missed. ^ ^ *points at Shippo acting innocent and whisteling*
Osamu: Wonderful! You definately don't get food like this in prison!
Sessho Maru: This wax.. is sticking to my nails... and my hair... Oh, my God!
Miroku: Next, I present my wax sushi...
Inu-Yasha: *shoves it all in his mouth at once* Not bad... The wax is nasty but the rest is good...
Chairman: You're saying you don't like mint flavored wax?! :gives Inu-Yasha an insane look:
Inu-Yasha: *shoves more wax in his mouth* Gulp... Did I say I didn't like it?! I love it! Love it!
Kagome: This would be a bit better with meat in it, Miroku Sama...
Miroku: *tear* Anataaaa! (darlingggg!) How can you be so mean to me?
Inu-Yasha: Watch it, monk! *growls at Miroku*
Kagome: *sigh* Here we go again... Please boys! We're on national TV!
Miroku: TV? What's that?
Kagome: Later I'll explain. ^ ^ Sorry all you viewers at home!
Miroku: My next dish is flaming wax covered alligator tumors.
Osamu: *chews* By God I love alligator tumors! Excellent!
Sessho Maru: I feed my slaves crap better than this!
Miroku: Thanks for the support...
Kagome: It's good, maybe a bit too much.
Chairman: Bravo! Good! Hahahaha!
Miroku: Next is wax cake with a tofu frosting.
Inu-Yasha: Not bad... A little on the chewy side...
Miroku: Well, it is wax...
Kagome: I think it's good... I like the frosting ^ ^-.
Miroku: I like you too, Kagome!
Kagome: Eh heh heh heh... yeah...
Miroku: Finally, I present to you my delightful wax ice cream.
Sessho Maru: I'm gonna gain a ton from eating all these sweets!
Inu-Yasha: Poor Sessho Maru... NOT! Since when did my brother become a pansy!?
Sessho Maru: I resent that!
Inu-Yasha: I'm sure you do!
Sessho Maru: Well, you wanna bring it on?!
Inu-Yasha: You're on! *flicks a crumb into Sessho Maru's hair*
Sessho Maru: NOOOOOO! MY HAIRRRR! DAMN YOU INU-YASHA!! *screams*
::Kagome slaps Inu Yasha's hand, making him stay quiet::
Kagome: Bad boy! Be good here!
::Inu Yasha's ears go down, and he cries::
Kagome: *hugs Inu Yasha* Gomen ne, Inu Channn!
Miroku: *clears throat* Excuse me...? Uuh... Shippo's turn, anyway... *sulks off the set*
::Shippo is pushed in on a cart with his dishes on it::
Shippo: First, I have wax ice cream, of which Miroku stole my idea! Only people like me can make good ice cream!
Sessho Maru: You mean KIDS like you! hahaha!
::Shippo uses his magic to pin Sessho Maru on the ground::
Shippo: Need I say more?
Kagome: This ice cream is definately better than Miroku's! Good going!
Osamu: I missed ice cream when I was in prison, we never got any...
Sessho Maru: You little brat! I'll get you when I manage to get up!
Shippo: My next dish is wax rice balls!
Inu Yasha: *having trouble chewing* The wax is getting stuck to my fangs! Help!
Kagome: A little too... Waxy...
Host: *insane look* Too much wax, you say?! Too much wax!!!??? NEVER!
Kagome: Eh heh heh... I mean... The chewiness is great!
Shippo: Next is my favorite, wax covered acorns!
Inu Yasha: How the heck are we s'posed to eat these, you rat? ::throws them at Sessho Maru, and they stick to his face::
Sessho Maru: Youuuuu! I'll kill you Inu Yasha! Watch your back, hanyou!
Inu Yasha: Oooooh, I'm sooo scared! And you let a baby kitsune put a spell on you! You have no power! HAHAHAHAHA!
Osamu: These are really, bad! How do you even eat these! These aren't made for humans to eat!
Shippo: Ano... Next is wax steak. I thought the demons here would like this.
Inu Yasha: *peels off the wax* Steak.... *digs teeth into it and swallows*
Kagome: Good steak, a little too rare for my taste...
::Miroku jumps off a balcony to Kagome's side::
Miroku: Kagome! Is Shippo attempting to poisen you with undercooked meats?! How dare he?!
Kagome: Uuuh.. I'm fine... It's edible, y'know, just a little rare. Not raw...
Shippo: And finally, wax milkshakes!
::Inu Yasha pours his shake onto Sessho Maru's head::
Sessho Maru: *lets out a girlish scream* COLDDDDD!
Inu Yasha: BWAHAHAHAHA!
Osamu: Good milkshake, really thick.
Kagome: Lets wrap this thing up before the boys end up hurting eachother...
Kaasan: With all the dishes eaten, only one thing remains! Who's cuisene will reign supreme?!
~~~Tasting and Judgement~~~
Kaasan: And the time has come, who's dishes were favored? Who will win! Now, the verdict!
Host: And the winner is--- the Challenger, Miroku!
Miroku: BWAHAHAHA! I WIN KAGOME'S HEART!
*Grabs Kagome and escapes the stadium, sending everyone chasing after him.*
Except...
Sessho Maru: HELP ME! PLEASE, SOMEBODY! SHIPPO! CREEPY HOST! Anybody...?
~~~End of Chapter~~~
(A.N.:) Wow... that was a long chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Please review, and give suggestions for the next chapter, like ingrediants and characters...
Thanks again!
A.N. : : Hello everyone! Gosh, I haven't written in a looooong time.... At least for FanFiction.net. lol. But I was recently inspired yet again by an Iron Chef marathon (12 hours) to continue this interesting saga... More disgusting food, strange twists and irony to come! Irony.. heh... Iron Chef, Irony! Hahaha! Isn't that IRONic!? So please read and rewiew so I can be inspired more on a sequal to this story!
Iron Chef: Inu-Yasha style!
Battle 3
By: Emiru the Metal Mononoke
(::Text appears:: Tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you what you are...)
::Host, dressed in a baboon pelt over his famous cow-like shirt appears::
Host: If memory serves me right, there is a man in this world that has the strength to challenge one of my men of steel, the Iron Chefs. He was raised near a woman's bath house in Feudal Japan, and has thus grown to be one of the most lecherous men in the world. Specializing in many cuisine styles, shall he be one to defeat my Iron Chefs?!
::Overly dramatic opera music plays, and the Iron Chef logo appears on the screen, followed by the host biting one of those yellow bell peppers, followed by a gag.::
Host: Now, Miroku, stand before my men of iron and show them your skill! Rise, Iron Chefs! And show this man the power of IRON!
:: Kouga, Kirara, and Shippo rise up on platforms::
Miroku: Shippo! You and I shall battle for Kagome's love!
Shippo: But I don't even LIKE Kagome!
Miroku: Silence, fool! Of course you do! Everyone does!
Shippo: O....k.....
Host: Shippo! Miroku! Are you prepaired for the difficult battle ahead of you?
::Miroku and Shippo both blink twice::
Together:: Yes...
Host:: Well then! I shall unvail the main ingrediant!
::Host pulls a cloth over a fishtank sized container revealing...::
Host:: Mint flavored wax!
Miroku: Mint flavored.... wax....?
Host:: Yes, you use it for braces, you know?
Miroku: Braces...?
Shippo: Do many people eat this?
Host: I do. (Opens up mouth to reveal chewed pieces of wax) Now, begin the battle! You have one hour to make as many dishes as possible!
Kaasan: Joining us on the panel today is:
Famous murderer: Himowaru Osamu
High school student: Higurashi Kagome
Sexy bishounen: Sesshomaru-Sama
Kagome: It's an honor to be here.
Osamu: Wax? We never had anything as good as this in prison!
Sesshomaru: I can't blame you for inviting someone as beautiful as me...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota?
Ota: The ingrediants that challenger just put into that pot were wax and sake!
Kaasan: Thank you, Ota!
Kagome: Perhaps he's planning to make some sort of sauce?
Osamu: Ah, I can't wait!
::Shippo melts some wax in a pot on the stove, and dips some acorns in the melted wax::
Ota: Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes, Ota!
Ota: Iron Chef Shippo has just melted wax and is now dipping acorns into it!
Kagome: Ah my! How splendid!
Osamu: Acorns? I don't recall ever eating one of those...
Sesshomaru: Oh no! The wax could possibly get into my perfect hair!
::Miroku pulls out a sledge hammer and starts pounding a slab of wax::
Ota: Kaasan! Challenger Miroku is now tenderizing the wax!
Osamu: Oh, perhaps he plans make a suflee? Or make flambay?
Kagome: Or make some sort of parfait? Or puree?
Sesshomaru: Or run in the rain while eating hay and acting gay?
Kaasan: I doubt it, considering he is Japanese, not French.
Kagome: True...
::Miroku puts the wax in the oven in a cake pan::
Osamu: Aa! A cake!
Sesshomaru: I love cake!
::Shippo puts some wax into a blender::
Kagome:: Hey... won't the wax stick to the blades in the blender...?
Ota: That's not likely, due to the fact that braces wax is designed not to get caught up in metal!
Kagome: Aa...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota!
Ota: The iron chef says that he is planning to make something called a 'milkshake' with the wax in the blender!
Kaasan: Oh, my! It sounds as if milk is going to be added to the blender?
Kagome: Uuh... That's usually how you make a milkshake. - -;
::Shippo adds milk and a little bit of vanilla ice creme to the blender::
::Miroku coats a slab of wax with salt and leaves::
Ota: Aah Kaasan Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes, Ota!
Ota: It looks like the challenger is seasoning the wax with salt!
Sesshomaru: Oh, wow! I can't wait to sink my teeth into THAT wax!
Osamu: Yes, it's sure to be elegant!
::Miroku puts some wax into an ice cream maker::
Kagome: Oh, wow! Wax ice cream! Yummm...
::Miroku blows a kiss at Kagome, sending Inu-Yasha down from the sidelines to strangle him::
Kagome: ::stares::
Inu-Yasha: Damn you, Miroku! Tryin' to hit on my girl!
Miroku: Oh, sure she's your girl, Inu-Yasha! You know Kagome loves me, you're just jealous!
*Kagome sinks down in her chair*
Inu-Yasha: I'll let you go this time, Miroku, but next time you won't be so lucky!
Miroku: *mumbles* stupid dog...
Inu-Yasha: That's it! ::steals Miroku's chef hat and puts it on running around in circles:: I've got yer hat! I've got yer HATTT! ::flies up to the stands next to Kagome::
Miroku: o.O;; Ooookay....
Ota: Yeer.... Back to the show!
Speaker: 30 minutes... remaining...
Kaasan: Half way through this battle, who will win?! Well, we'll just have to wait to find out, I suppose! We'll be right back with Iron Chef!
~~~Commericials~~~
Girl: Are you hungry? How about REALLY hungry? Yes, you say? Well, then! Grab a cup of instant ramen! Guarenteed to get you the man of your dreams, the smell of fresh ramen will send your lover running to your side! Try some ramen today! I mean, isn't love worth the 13 cents it costs to buy a package or ramen? Try it today!
~~~End of commercials~~~
Kaasan: Welcome back! As we left off, the challenger and a man from the stands just got into a fight! But now we're back to the cooking excitment of Iron Chef!
::Shippo pours the wax milkshake into tall glasses, and Miroku takes his wax cake out of the oven::
Miroku: This cake shall be as sweet as Kagome!
Kagome: *sweat* give me a break...
Inu-Yasha: I've got his hat! Kagome I got his hat! ::cuddles up in Kagome's lap:: Haaaaat....
Osamu: So you two are lovers?
Kagome: Eeer... no, no we're not!
::Inu-Yasha purrs and rubs his head on Kagome, like a cat::
Sessho-Maru: Inu-Yasha, you animal!
Kagome: *stare*
Kaasan: What a show this has been! Action, romance, and best of all, food! Buddah must be blessing us!
::Miroku frosts his cake with processed tofu::
Osamu: Elegant...! Tofu!
Ota: Aa! Kaasan! It appears the challenger has frosted the wax cake with a mixture of processed tofu, soy sauce, and sugar!
Kaasan: Oh wow, sugar! Sugar is so hard to come by now a days...
Kagome: It is?
Kaasan: Well, no... But what if it was hard to come by?
Inu-Yasha: *rubbing his head on Kagome's leg* haaaat... Kagome I have a hatttt!
Kagome: *pets Inu-Yasha's head* Yes, isn't that exciting Inu-Yasha!
Osamu: Lovers...
Sessho-Maru: So, have you two... eer... you know?
Kagome: Shaken hands? Of course!
Inu-Yasha: Meoooow...
~Starting next week, NEKO-YASHA! An epic tale of a dog demon who got a species change!~
Kagome: *blink blink* Where'd that come from?
Me: *standing on a cloud above the kitchen stadium* Sorry, Kagome! But today I am your god! Bwahaha! Now... eer.. Back to the show! Sorry about that! ::waves:: ^ ^;;
Kaasan: o.O;; Do strange things happen to you often, Higurashi San?
Kagome: Too often, I'm afraid.
::Miroku puts an odd ingrediant on a cutting board::
Osamu: My God! Is-- Is that what I think it is?!
Ota: Yes. Alligator tumors.
Kaasan: He's making the alligator tumors into some type of paste! How exciting!
Sessho-Maru: By GOD I love alligator tumors! I can't wait to sink my fangs into those decaying tumors!
Inu-Yasha: Haaaat... Nyaaa...
::Shippo covers steak in wax, then throws it in the oven::
Speaker: Fifteen minutes of battle... Remaining...
Ota: Kaasan! It appears as if the Iron Chef is making wax steak!
Osamu: Wax steak? Wow, how elegant!
Kaasan: Less than fifteen minutes of this exciting battle remaining! I can hardly sustain myself! This is so exciting!
Ota: Calm yourself, Kaasan! We're jipped off and don't even get to eat the food that the Iron Chefs make!
Kaasan: Damn, you're right!
::Miroku pulls his salt covered tenderised wax out of the oven::
Osamu: Oh, this smell is heavenly!
::Shippo mixes wax and sunflower seeds together::
Ota: Kaasan! The Iron Chef has just made some sort of concoction out of rice, sunflower seeds (shelled) and of course, mint flavored wax.
Kaasan: Thank you for the update, Ota!
Kagome: Rice balls, maybe?
::Miroku makes sushi, but instead of using meat, adds mint flavored wax in the middle::
Ota: The challenger is making wax sushi! How creative!
Sessho Maru: Is that guy really that desperate for ideas that hes making wax sushi? How pathedic! I, of course, would make something much more elegant and classy, like a wax fondue! I love French food!
Miroku: I heard that, you pansy!
Sessho Maru: What was that? I, the great Sessho Maru Sama, a pansy? Don't be rediculous! No pansy would have such perfect hair, nails, and complection as I!
Kagome: - -; *sigh* I think that's his point...
Speaker: 10 minutes of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: When we return, this indepth battle will continue for the last 10 minutes! Now, to our sponcers!
~Commercials~
Next week on Fuji TV, starts the epic tale of a dog gone cat! By the insane Emiru the Metal Mononoke comes Neko-Yasha, the cat demon! Join Kagome, your average cat owner, as she meets girls best friend! Cat demons, of course! Neko Yasha is agile, enjoys rubbing his head on stuff, and of course, loves his mousey ( and his hat )! Outta the way Spring and Chaos! There's a new cat in town!
Inu... eer.. Neko Yasha: Nyaaaa! I still got his hat Kagomeeee! His haaaaaat!
~End of commercials~
Kaasan: Welcome back! As we last left off, the challenger and a panelest got into an arguement! And there's less than 10 minutes left of this exciting challenge!
Ota: Kaasan! Upon asking the challenger how he felt about this battle, he said 'I will win no matter what! My love for Kagome itself could melt this wax!'
Kaasan: Thanks, Ota. It sounds as if the challenger is sure he's going to win and is confident in his skills!
Kagome: *mumbles* What skill?
Inu-Yasha: Ka-go-meee! *rub rub*
Sessho Maru: Okay, Inu-Yasha, now you're just making me sick! Shut up already!
::Miroku is seen running around the kitchen stadium adding finishing touches to his dishes::
::Shippo puts his dishes together, and decorates his plates with little acorns::
Ota: It appears as if the challenger and the Iron Chef are adding the finishing touches to their dishes!
Kaasan: I must say, Ota, that this has truly been one of the most exciting and surprising battles thus far in kitchen stadium!
Ota: Tell me about it! We've seen demons, perverted monks, and kitsune! This is so exciting!
Speaker: Five minutes of battle... Remaining...
::Miroku pulls out a cooking torch and starts flaming his food::
Osamu: My, God! What a rare and exotic cooking technique! I must try this at home some time!
::wax begins spraying all over the place, like rain. The host comes out and starts dancing under it, getting his clothes covered in wax::
Kaasan: Oh my! The chairman is apparently enjoying this moment!
Speaker: Three minutes of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: Oh, wow! Only three minutes left of this battle!
Ota: As you can see, the contestants appear to be a bit frantic!
::Miroku decorates his dishes, and sits down to take a breether::
::Shippo pours wine into glasses, and sneaks a sip::
Kagome: Take that wine away from him! He's no where near the legal drinking age!
::Miroku runs up to Shippo (who is now chugging wine), grabs the bottle of wine from him, and starts drinking it for him::
Kagome: Well, that's a little better, I suppose...
Speaker: Two minues of battle... Remaining...
Sessho Maru: Hey, I want some!
Inu Yasha: Me, too!
Kagome: Wow... he spoke!
Osamu: I want some, too!
::The three men collectively gather around the bottle of wine and start drinking it down::
Miroku: Hey, this is my wine!
Shippo: Actually...
Speaker: One minute of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: Oh, my! Only one minute left of battle! And most of the men here seem to be enjoying kitchen stadium's large stock of wine...
Ota: Kaasan! Kaasan!
Kaasan: Yes Ota!
Ota: It appears as if the men are drinking some sort of Italian red wine!
Kagome: Do you guys have to comment on everything that goes on?
Kaasan: Actucally, yes Hugurashi San! We are commentators, after all!
Speaker: Ten seconds of battle... Remaining...
Kaasan: The heat is on! Who's cuisine will reign supreme?! ( I love that line)
Speaker: Five, four, three, two, one...
::The men spit their wine out in shock::
Miroku: Aaaw...The battle's already over?
~~~Tasting and Judgement~~~
Kaasan: Our Challenger has prepaired for us today a total of five dishes! First is tenderised salted mint wax! He claims that this reminds him of the first time he tried to touch Kagome's butt 'sweet yet painful... very...'. His second dish is wax sushi, saying that he was inspired by Japan's complex yet simple ways of life. His third dish is flaming wax covered alligator tumors, saying that he was inspired by Inu Yasha's disgusting ways. Next is wax cake! With a lovely tofu frosting, it's sure to be great! And finally, wax ice cream! This ice cream has a minty and cool taste...
And our Iron Chef is presenting five dishes to us today! First is wax ice cream! He says he was inspired by his favorite food, ice cream! Next is wax rice balls! It seems as if bot of the contestants tried one traditional Japanese dish tonight! Third is 'falling acorns' which is wax covered acorns! How exotic and strange! Next is wax steak, which is just as it sounds, steaks dipped and cooked in wax! How will the panel react to this dish? And finally wax milk shakes! It seems as if our Iron Chef has quite the sweet tooth!
Ota: And now, tasting and judgement!
Kaasan: On the panel today we have:
Dog demon Inu-Yasha
High school student Higurashi Kagome
Bishounen Sessho Maru
and famous murderer Himowaru Osamu
First we'll taste the challenger's dishes.
::Miroku pulls in a cart with all his dishes::
Miroku: First I'll have you try my tenderized saltes mint wax... please enjoy.
Kagome: *chews it very slowly* This is... really... chewy... and disgusting...
Inu-Yasha: *munch munch* The salt is a bit much... and are these leaves in here? *holds up a leaf*.
Miroku: No, actucally I think Shippo was attempting to use magic on me, and missed. ^ ^ *points at Shippo acting innocent and whisteling*
Osamu: Wonderful! You definately don't get food like this in prison!
Sessho Maru: This wax.. is sticking to my nails... and my hair... Oh, my God!
Miroku: Next, I present my wax sushi...
Inu-Yasha: *shoves it all in his mouth at once* Not bad... The wax is nasty but the rest is good...
Chairman: You're saying you don't like mint flavored wax?! :gives Inu-Yasha an insane look:
Inu-Yasha: *shoves more wax in his mouth* Gulp... Did I say I didn't like it?! I love it! Love it!
Kagome: This would be a bit better with meat in it, Miroku Sama...
Miroku: *tear* Anataaaa! (darlingggg!) How can you be so mean to me?
Inu-Yasha: Watch it, monk! *growls at Miroku*
Kagome: *sigh* Here we go again... Please boys! We're on national TV!
Miroku: TV? What's that?
Kagome: Later I'll explain. ^ ^ Sorry all you viewers at home!
Miroku: My next dish is flaming wax covered alligator tumors.
Osamu: *chews* By God I love alligator tumors! Excellent!
Sessho Maru: I feed my slaves crap better than this!
Miroku: Thanks for the support...
Kagome: It's good, maybe a bit too much.
Chairman: Bravo! Good! Hahahaha!
Miroku: Next is wax cake with a tofu frosting.
Inu-Yasha: Not bad... A little on the chewy side...
Miroku: Well, it is wax...
Kagome: I think it's good... I like the frosting ^ ^-.
Miroku: I like you too, Kagome!
Kagome: Eh heh heh heh... yeah...
Miroku: Finally, I present to you my delightful wax ice cream.
Sessho Maru: I'm gonna gain a ton from eating all these sweets!
Inu-Yasha: Poor Sessho Maru... NOT! Since when did my brother become a pansy!?
Sessho Maru: I resent that!
Inu-Yasha: I'm sure you do!
Sessho Maru: Well, you wanna bring it on?!
Inu-Yasha: You're on! *flicks a crumb into Sessho Maru's hair*
Sessho Maru: NOOOOOO! MY HAIRRRR! DAMN YOU INU-YASHA!! *screams*
::Kagome slaps Inu Yasha's hand, making him stay quiet::
Kagome: Bad boy! Be good here!
::Inu Yasha's ears go down, and he cries::
Kagome: *hugs Inu Yasha* Gomen ne, Inu Channn!
Miroku: *clears throat* Excuse me...? Uuh... Shippo's turn, anyway... *sulks off the set*
::Shippo is pushed in on a cart with his dishes on it::
Shippo: First, I have wax ice cream, of which Miroku stole my idea! Only people like me can make good ice cream!
Sessho Maru: You mean KIDS like you! hahaha!
::Shippo uses his magic to pin Sessho Maru on the ground::
Shippo: Need I say more?
Kagome: This ice cream is definately better than Miroku's! Good going!
Osamu: I missed ice cream when I was in prison, we never got any...
Sessho Maru: You little brat! I'll get you when I manage to get up!
Shippo: My next dish is wax rice balls!
Inu Yasha: *having trouble chewing* The wax is getting stuck to my fangs! Help!
Kagome: A little too... Waxy...
Host: *insane look* Too much wax, you say?! Too much wax!!!??? NEVER!
Kagome: Eh heh heh... I mean... The chewiness is great!
Shippo: Next is my favorite, wax covered acorns!
Inu Yasha: How the heck are we s'posed to eat these, you rat? ::throws them at Sessho Maru, and they stick to his face::
Sessho Maru: Youuuuu! I'll kill you Inu Yasha! Watch your back, hanyou!
Inu Yasha: Oooooh, I'm sooo scared! And you let a baby kitsune put a spell on you! You have no power! HAHAHAHAHA!
Osamu: These are really, bad! How do you even eat these! These aren't made for humans to eat!
Shippo: Ano... Next is wax steak. I thought the demons here would like this.
Inu Yasha: *peels off the wax* Steak.... *digs teeth into it and swallows*
Kagome: Good steak, a little too rare for my taste...
::Miroku jumps off a balcony to Kagome's side::
Miroku: Kagome! Is Shippo attempting to poisen you with undercooked meats?! How dare he?!
Kagome: Uuuh.. I'm fine... It's edible, y'know, just a little rare. Not raw...
Shippo: And finally, wax milkshakes!
::Inu Yasha pours his shake onto Sessho Maru's head::
Sessho Maru: *lets out a girlish scream* COLDDDDD!
Inu Yasha: BWAHAHAHAHA!
Osamu: Good milkshake, really thick.
Kagome: Lets wrap this thing up before the boys end up hurting eachother...
Kaasan: With all the dishes eaten, only one thing remains! Who's cuisene will reign supreme?!
~~~Tasting and Judgement~~~
Kaasan: And the time has come, who's dishes were favored? Who will win! Now, the verdict!
Host: And the winner is--- the Challenger, Miroku!
Miroku: BWAHAHAHA! I WIN KAGOME'S HEART!
*Grabs Kagome and escapes the stadium, sending everyone chasing after him.*
Except...
Sessho Maru: HELP ME! PLEASE, SOMEBODY! SHIPPO! CREEPY HOST! Anybody...?
~~~End of Chapter~~~
(A.N.:) Wow... that was a long chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Please review, and give suggestions for the next chapter, like ingrediants and characters...
Thanks again!