Chapter Twelve: Formal Return
*Hiiro rang doorbell for the second time as he stood impatiently outside the large, white, stucco mansion. He looked around, feeling suddenly very small compared to everything around him. Then he shook his head.
He shouldn't feel this way. Though he had never been brought up in this type of splendor, he had spent a great deal of time in it with Relena and, of course, Quatre. He knew how to act and had been trained in the social traditions of the upper crust. Still, all of the fancy things considered, he felt uncomfortable. He liked things simple.
Finally he heard footsteps from the inside of the house and watched the brass doorknob begin to turn. As the door swung open, the light from inside the mansion was blocked by a large figure.
"Winner residence, may I help you?" The man asked politely, but with an edge of protectiveness in his manner.
"I'm here to see Quatre."
"And is Master Quatre expecting you?" The man asked skeptically.
"No."
"Then good day." And the man slammed the door in Hiiro's face. Hiiro stood, looking at the door for a moment longer, and then he felt a small gust of wind blow tiny drops if icy water into the back of his neck. The clouds above had finally given in and rain was starting to fall. Hiiro pounded on the door.
"Yes?" The same man answered.
"Rashid." Hiiro greeted him, barging his way in. The large man looked down, growling at the figure of the smaller boy before his face relaxed.
"Master Yui?"
"Yeah. Quatre around?" Hiiro asked him, keeping his face stoic as ever.
"Of course! You've changed Hiiro." Rashid smiled sadly at Hiiro. "You've grown up, gotten taller and filled out."
"Hnn." Rashid's booming laughter filled the foyer.
"And you're still as silent as ever!"
"Not exactly. I just didn't feel like commenting." Rashid stopped and briefly stared before closing his mouth and smiling.
"You really have changed."
"Rashid? Who's here?" A soft-spoken voice echoed through the halls. Hiiro knew that voice- though it had gotten deeper over the last few years. Soon a blonde man entered the room. Hiiro grinned. Quatre Winner looked the same, except he had gotten taller, his shoulders had gotten wider, and his face had lost some of the childlike attributes he had once worn so ironically.
"Hello Quatre. It looks like I'm not the only one who's changed." Hiiro smirked.
"Hiiro?" Quatre's jaw dropped in disbelief and his eyes widened and glazed over in hope. "Is, is that really you Hiiro?"
"I hope so. I would hate to think someone was running around with my face on their body." Hiiro joked.
"Hiiro!" Quatre shook his head and laughed. "How've you been? Come in! Come in!" And wrapping his arm around the stoic boy, Quatre lead him into a large room with a warm fire and leather couches. He pushed Hiiro to sit and then sat down across from him, eager to see and talk to his old friend.
"It's been a while, huh?" Hiiro supposed blandly.
"A while? Hiiro, it's been three years! I had heard from Une you were back, but honestly… I didn't think you would be showing up! I mean, well…"
"I know what you meant Quatre. You thought I would stay in the shadows guarding Relena."
"Well, that is something you tend to do." Quatre smiled sheepishly.
"Don't be a sheep Quatre." Hiiro mocked with a slight side smile. "And never assume anything." Quatre's eyes dropped, very surprised at his friend's odd behavior. Then he smiled brightly.
"You've found it Hiiro. You've found your heart."
"A portion of it anyway. I'm back to reclaim the rest of it."
"And you've already got quite a sense of humor I see."
"Sarcasm goes a long way, yes." Hiiro's eyes traveled around the room and to a window. Standing up, he walked to the window and looked out, over the vast gardens of the Winner mansion. He looked over the clear reflecting pool, and over the tall vine-covered red brick fence, until his eyes settled upon the house that backed up to Quatre's.
"Hiiro?" Quatre asked. Hiiro turned around to look at him.
"Yes?"
"Why did you come back? I mean, why did you come back here? Why not just wait for Relena to introduce you to everyone again?"
"Relena?" Hiiro asked, unsure of how much Quatre knew.
"Your girlfriend…"
"No."
"No?" Quatre shouted more than he questioned.
"No. Relena and I are a thing built and existing only in the past. Whatever relationship we may have had back then has ended, officially."
"Oh Hiiro… I'm sorry. I know you had deep feelings for her. But why did she end it? I thought Relena truly loved you. She was. After all, willing to wait for so long for you…"
"She didn't end it Quatre, I did." Hiiro sighed inwardly and ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. It was a nervous habit of his, he knew it and had tried numerous times to break it, but it was like cigarettes… it was addicting. But he needed to tell Quatre the truth- his old friend deserved to hear it.
"I broke it off with her because when I came back from being away, I realized that though I had once loved Relena, I don't anymore. The man that loved her was a boy who depended on the safety and security of someone emotionally stronger. I loved Relena, yes. But when I went away, I realized she is not what I need. She and I will be good friends, but I have no romantic interest in her any longer."
"You've truly thought this through." Quatre nodded grimly.
"I had to- I needed to confront her with this the first day I saw her."
"Was it hard?"
"One of the hardest things I ever had to do." Hiiro sighed out loud. "But I needed to do it. I think she understood."
"How has working with her been?" Quatre asked concerned.
"Alright. It's a little tense. To be expected of course. It isn't Relena that's my problem Quatre." Quatre looked up, his eyes full of wonder.
Was this truly Hiiro Yui? He had softened so much over the last three years. Never before had Quatre expected Hiiro to speak this much to him about anything remotely related to relationships, but, Quatre reasoned, Hiiro was no longer defining his life by near death experiences- he was doing it through his relationships. It was a nice change. Then again… what could possibly be causing Hiiro more problems than Relena?
"What is the problem then Hiiro?"
"Do you know whose house that is?" Hiiro pointed to the house backing up to Quatre's.
"Yes, of course. That is the Kennginton's house. They are a very prominent couple in this neighborhood- in fact; Mr. Kennington is the CEO of the biggest newspaper in the tri-city area. What does that have to do with your problems Hiiro? Is he causing trouble?"
"Did you know that Ken has a daughter?"
"You know them then- the Kenningtons?"
"I've had the pleasure of meeting them once." Hiiro stressed the word 'pleasure', and Quatre smiled. Hiiro had gained a wonderful sense of humor, and certainly a very sarcastic sense.
"Well then, let me see, their daughter… oh, Serena, right? I only knew her for a few weeks after the war when I returned here to deal with business. Then I left for L4 to fix a problem with one of the resource satellites up there, and when I came back, she had left home."
"She moved out and got a job. Now do you know where she works?"
"No…not at the moment. Hiiro, where is this leading?"
"Serena Kennington is Relena Peacecraft's personal secretary." Quatre's eyes widened and Hiiro smirked. "Exactly."
"Hiiro, from what I remember about Serena was that she was very anti-war, ever since her brother died…"
"Her brother died?"
"Killed when OZ took over the Alliance- he had been stationed at one of the Alliance bases I assume. Anyway. She can't stand any aspect of war, especially the soldiers who did the killing!"
"There in lies my dilemma."
"You mean working with her is the problem because she knows about your past?"
"Partially. She and Relena are also very close friends, and she hates me not only for being a, as she puts it, murderer, but for breaking Relena's heart."
"I see."
"We bicker constantly." Hiiro's monotone dropped at this point as his frustration enveloped him wholly. "It takes half my energy to either ignore her of think of return insults! I don't know what to do! Everything I do is wrong somehow…"
"Why does she get to you Hiiro?"
"Because I'm a fool!" Hiiro snorted, disgusted with himself. "I really am Quatre. Look at me! I'm a pathetic sap who has a past as a mercenary, has broken a woman's heart, doesn't know how to date properly, and, worst of all, fell in love with another woman who hates me!"
"What?" Quatre squeaked. Hiiro ran his hand through his hair.
"You heard me. I went and fell in love with her. And it's only been a week. How is that possible?"
"Hiiro… love? But you… Hiiro; let me put this simply for you. It took you nearly two years to admit to even yourself that you and Relena were dating, and another year to say you loved her. Then you leave, for three more years, only to come back, tell Relena it's over, and fall in love with another woman one week later."
"That is what happened. Explain to me how that is possible. Is it possible?"
"Well, yes, nothing is impossible, only improbable. But love with a woman who hates you after one week? How do you know?"
"Her parents were in a car wreck yesterday."
"What?" Quatre shot up.
"Yeah. They're in the hospital."
"How do you know?"
"I work along side of her all day, until the late hours of the night. I know because I'm the one who gave her the ride to the hospital when the call came in. And when I got there and she jumped off the bike… the look in her eyes… and I knew."
"Hiiro. One look? I'm sorry; I have a hard time believing that you are the same Hiiro Yui who once believed emotions were weaknesses. Here you are, professing your love for a woman you hardly know, and who, on top of that, hates you. And you're telling me you just knew?"
"Quatre. I can't go to Relena. I can't go to Sally, and I can't call Duo or Trowa. I need to know what the hell is wrong with me." Hiiro rubbed his face. This was not going well. Quatre was more skeptical than he remembered. Would he ever get the advice he needed?
"Hiiro, I understand. All right. Explain to me why you love her."
"You remember the rush you got when the ZERO system kicked in?"
"I will never forget that as long as I live." Quatre shuddered.
"It's like that. The feeling is intense, like a bullet wound or getting the wind knocked out of you; only it lasts as long as I'm around her. She challenges me, makes me feel important. And when she's not yelling? When she's fallen asleep at her desk at the end of a long day? I can see the hatred melt off of her face and… I can't explain it. I'm a soldier, not a poet. But I love her." Hiiro finished with his eyes downcast and voice in a hoarse whisper. Quatre nodded slowly.
"So you love her. And she hates you. I don't know what to tell you Hiiro. I could suggest being nice to her, but Serena is dedicated in her beliefs. It would take a heck of a lot more than polite manners to warm her heart. But Hiiro, how does she act around you?"
"Different."
"How?"
"Most women laugh and wink a lot. Why do they do that anyway? Do they think that it's attractive?"
"Most of them, yes."
"Someone should clue them in." Hiiro rolled his eyes and Quatre smiled. He liked this Hiiro, it was fun to be around him- he never knew what to expect next. "But Serena just fights. And when she loses, she gets red in the face and stomps away. And she tells me she hates me."
"Hates?"
"Hates. But then I know she stares at me… her eyes burn holes through me when she does. And she shivers a lot too. And once she cried and I held her, and she just…"
"Was this in the hospital?"
"Yes. She was emotionally unstable, as all women tend to be in sever situations such as this."
"Most normal people tend to be that way in situations like this Hiiro."
"Why?"
"Human emotion. It's compassion, sympathy, pain, and worry combined."
"Emotions seem to only get humans into trouble. Maybe we are better off as lemmings after all." Hiiro mussed.
"Maybe. But I wouldn't like to have all of those feathers, would you?" Quatre joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Hnn."
"Well, I don't quite know what to tell you, except… be yourself."
"I don't know who I am."
"You are who you are. Do what you feel is right, and that is who you are."
"Damn deep advice." Hiiro shuddered. Quatre laughed. The doorbell rang and Hiiro and Quatre's heads went up.
"I know I didn't have any appointments today…" Quatre mussed. As Rashid walked into the room, he brought with him a familiar form.
"Master Quatre, Miss Kennington from next door." Rashid introduced Serena. Quatre's eyes studied the woman, trying to find why Hiiro had fallen for her from her appearance. Well