~Spoilers up to Entropy, mainly because I couldn't let Tara die or Willow
go evil. This story picks up right before Tara and Willow get back
together and Spike in the bathroom never happened.
This story is the answer to questions I'd had, what if Faith had come back at the end of Season Six? What would Faith think of Spike and Buffy?
I also gave her a watcher, and a way to save the world. This a SPUFFY story with Faith in it only to provide good angst. Please enjoy!~
Sunlight
PART THREE
But you can say baby, Baby can I hold you tonight? Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine...Tracy Chapman
Derrick tapped his foot on the floor waiting for Faith to finish her breakfast. Her need to consume huge amounts of food had normally amused him but now it was an obstacle to informing her about the quest. Her mouth was stuffed with sausage and eggs and her silence made him wonder where her thoughts were.
"Derrick, what's this talk over tea all about?" She emptied her mouth and cleared her teeth.
"The quest, I don't know how to say this, I know I told you that you'd have time to train but you don't. I've been informed by the Council that you will have to leave soon to complete the quest."
She frowned and nodded. "So live today for tomorrow we die, is that it?"
Her morbid words ringed true in his head but they didn't suit her. She'd come home from her poker game with an annoying kitten and a quiet look on her face. Something or someone had stirred her and her concentration had been reverted. It was important to him that she regains that focus, if only to keep her alive. He didn't trust that no matter how he had trained her that in the end she might end up failing.
"Let's get on with the training, I'm ready for a serious work out and then I'd like to see a friend."
"A friend? Is it someone you knew before?" He looked at her with concern.
"No, I don't think I knew him, even then. He's different then well, other people. He's alone like me, he's been hurt and we make each other laugh."
"Faith, your not a child, so be careful. This friend may seem just like someone to spend a nice evening with, but-"
"I don't just want to spend a nice evening with him playing poker or talking about our lives, I like him. He's damaged but not with goodness or guilt. He doesn't pull away from me or make me feel like a freak. I haven't felt anything in so long and I guess I am now."
"I want you feel, of course, but is he good enough?"
She laughed. "If he was good enough I wouldn't want him, he's not good. We're just alike and I need that."
"He sounds like a man who's healing, and those who are can be dangerous."
"No lectures, Derrick, let's just get down to business."
They walked down to the specially constructed gym and began their work out. Her fists flew at him with a power he was unaware she possessed. He deflected every hit by inches and the realization that she didn't want to hurt him. Her strength he'd been told was only equaled by Buffy who Giles had admired for both their powers. Only after several hours did a line of sweat cover her brow but she didn't stop for even a moment. He could barely keep up with her amazing stamina.
"Listen, Derrick, I can keep doing this for a few more hours or we can stop and you can catch your breath. I'd like to catch my friend while the sun is still up."
He nodded and moved away from her, "Good, I have to continue my research and call the Council, and get a definite time of departure."
"You do that, I'm gonna do the girly thing and take a shower."
He watched her walk away and tried to shove down the doubts that shook him.
He slept deeply; the dreams seemed to have their own life, with each one revealing nothing lasting. Figures seem to strike out at him without form or shape, each tore at his flesh and he wanted to scream. His body felt heavy and he wanted to run but he couldn't. A hand reached out to him pulling him away from the figures and taking him into a bright light. When the light hit him he felt his body come alive a sensation he'd only felt when he was human. Inside that body he knew only more pain and the scream came out ripping into his head.
He woke, the empty liquor bottle at his side fell to the ground and he knew he wasn't alone. In a chair across from him, she was watching him. She didn't move or say anything for a minute and then a small smile lit up her whole face. Her blonde hair down at her shoulders and she'd never looked more beautiful.
"What are you doing here? You said you weren't ever coming near me again." He stated his voice cold and flat.
"I don't think I ever said that."
"When the shag fest was over you didn't look back." He commented swinging his legs over to the side of the bed.
"I'm not here about us, I'm here because of Dawn. She's having a birthday on Friday and she's going to invite you." She watched him pull on his pants, he was careful to cover himself so that nothing showed.
"So this is my warning to say-sorry little bit, I'm very busy and I won't be able to make it. I guess you don't want to be in the same room with me.
It's a little awkward to be with me, unless your knickers are down at your feet. I can understand that." His bitterness made her frown and she looked away.
"I want you to be there, Dawn likes you and I have to respect that. You've been really good to her, looking after her and being there for her. I don't want her to feel like she can't have you around just because of us." She looked down.
"I like that word, us, it's not past tense, is it? Even though we are, right?" He smiled, hoping to see something anything like hope in her face.
She frowned."What we were doing it wasn't right and it wasn't going anywhere and we both knew it."
"I don't remember you ever asking me what I thought, I was just something for you be with and then you could walk away. I didn't matter or even count. I wanted something or anything from you that told me that you cared about me. But you couldn't do that." He crossed the room toward her.
"I'm sorry."
"I thought you were done with that word. I don't need to hear it." He leaned over her and grabbed the arms of the chair she was in.
She stood up, "Your right, I don't have to say I'm sorry. I wasn't the only one using someone. You did whatever you had to, to hurt me and it worked."
He pushed her back down into the chair. "I hurt you? I vaguely remember you mentioning that before. I don't see how, though, you don't love me and you don't care about me. I was just, I think the phase is-moving on. Right?"
"Right! Moving on, really just means moving on top of one of my best friends, huh? It didn't matter I suppose that you were hurting me. I can't stand the fact that I've been with you, there's nothing good about you-" He moved away from her.
"Last time you said that you had the good sense to be hitting me."
"I can't do this, there's no point to talking to you. You're never going to change-" She rose again ready to leave this time.
"I'm never going to be good enough, right? No matter what I do?"
Her anger swelled, she stared at him and all she wanted to lose her self inside him. He did hurt her; just looking at him was pain. He was right, she didn't have the right to keep doing this to them. She turned her back on him and started for the door.
"That's great, just go, that's what you do best." He spit out bitterly.
"You are right, you'll never be good enough for me to love. I can't trust you and every time I see you it gets confirmed. It doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't change the reality between us." She said it to stop him and stop herself from thinking he was anything she could ever really want.
"I've lived longer than you have, so you might want to listen to the voice of experience. Reality, is a thing of the present, it can change. I've changed, so have you, you're just waiting for everyone else to."
"No, Spike it's you, you'll never change. You'll always be evil and you never regret the things you've done."
She walked out, without looking back.
She tapped lightly on the door, she heard a voice inside beckon her in and she entered. The crypt was darker than usual and she could barely see anything. He stood there in the middle of the room staring at a blank wall laughing at himself. His face was sad and bitter, and she could tell that she had walked in after the storm.
"What happened?" She asked.
"Reality, dear, I just hit the wall and it hit back. You know, I really thought that if I could just be what she wanted that it would all work out. I curbed every impulse I had to just make her see that I changed. But she doesn't care; I'm just the dumb evil jerk she jumped for a while. I guess I'll have to leave town now, like the others. So, now I'm just another ex of her's and I'm nothing to her."
"So what, your just gonna sit here and take it? She throws you away and you don't do anything to stop it?"
"Deary, I love her, she can basically do anything to me, I'll take it and ask for more. I had her for a while and I always thought it would just be enough to have that. But I was wrong. I've been in love before and I know that it's more than she was willing to give."
"Then forget her, she doesn't deserve you, if she can't see what you really are-"
"Oh, please, I'm nothing. I'm selfish, I can't see anything from anyone's perspective except my own and I wasn't exactly faithful. I did things just to help her but they were the wrong things. I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself."
She approached him slowly and embraced him, it surprised them both. He closed his eyes and smelled her hair. She rested her check on his bare shoulder and sighed.
"This quest your going on for the orb thing.. Would you like some back up?" He offered.
"I'll take you in my corner any time, Spike. If Buffy doesn't know you like I do, then she doesn't deserve your love." She stared up into his face and smiled.
He didn't open his eyes, he couldn't. Her kindness was out of place in his life and it only served to make him sadder. He was going to face death with Faith and maybe it would prove to him that he was alive and worthy.
"I never said her name and I'm sure she never mentioned mine." He opened his eyes and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Yeah, that was kind of the dead give away, and she always liked it hot and heavy with the undead."
"I guess I'll need to pack a bag, where are we going?"
"To a land far, far, away." She teased.
He smiled. "When do we leave?"
"Friday night, I don't know how long we'll be gone."
"I'll leave my affairs in order, which isn't much. I have to go see Dawn at her party before we can leave."
"It's her birthday, ain't it?"
"Yeah, she's turning sixteen, it's an important age."
"Yes, it is, are you going to tell her about the quest?"
He nodded. "She's got enough people in her life trying to keep the truth from her."
He pulled away from her and picked up a small wrapped package nearby. He wanted Dawn to enjoy her day and maybe when he came home they'd both have something to celebrate.
She strolled around the cemetery ready to kill anything that crossed her path. The blind pain that crossed her mind, had a face and name. They fought every time they were near each other, if only to stop from giving into the incredible attraction between them. Maybe killing a few vamps or demons would just help to stop the feeling. It didn't matter what she did in the end she ended up in front of Spikes crypt looking for an excuse. That fact alone made her wonder who was stalking whom.
Behind her she heard someone running toward her and she turned in time to see a vamp run into a nearby crypt. In hot pursuit behind him were Faith and Spike who chased the vamp into that crypt as Buffy hid within site of them. She followed them, looking in at them.
Spike grabbed the vamp roughly showing him his game vamp face. He threw the vamp across the room, his body hitting the wall with a loud thud. Faith followed picking up the vamp, he punched her hard across the mouth sending her down onto the floor. Spike enraged went after the vamp chasing him into a corner picking him up again by the shoulders, Faith stood up and ran toward them. The vamp tried to struggle free but Faith tackled them sending them both to the floor. The stake in her hand turned the vamp to dust and she fell on top of Spike. They're faces were close enough to kiss; she straddled him suddenly and pinned his arms down. He didn't resist for a moment and then they laughed.
They're intimate movements and treatment of each other shook Buffy to the core. She could tell that Faith wanted him and that something was holding him back. She backed away from the door and ran away into the night. She didn't stop to even see her way; her feet barely touched the ground and her head pounded.
"Who was that?" She asked turning toward the empty door.
"That was Buffy who was checking up on you." He commented still pinned down.
"Really? Your wrong, Blondie, that was B checking up on you and running away from us."
He motioned for her to let him go and she did slowly, making sure she did so slowly to see if the fight had excited him in any way. It hadn't.
It was a beautiful Friday morning, with birds singing and the smell of coffee in the air. She looked out the window realizing that sleep had completely eluded her. Dawn came in and cleared her throat loudly.
"Happy Birthday, Dawn." She said sitting up in bed.
"Okay, seeing that it is my birthday I expect you to be happy and be constant with the showering of presents."
"How do you feel about, several Doublemeat meals on me?"
"Funny, but no, I'd like the works, party, band, cake, all my friends and lots of presents."
"How about a few blown up balloons, a home baked cake and a couple of people?"
Dawn shook her head, "No, Buffy, get up and make my birthday dreams come true."
"I will be good sister-Buffy and get this house in party mode." She said getting up slowly.
"You got home late last night, wanna talk about it?"
"No, I'd rather not, no big bad or anything. I went for a walk when I should have stayed home and watched TV with my favorite sister." She pulled on her robe and walked Dawn out of her room.
"Buffy, unless the monks or Dad get real creative, I'm your only sister."
Derrick watched Faith pack her bags with a curious look on his face. The army style duffle bag was stuffed with several skimpy shirts and leather pants.
"So, that is all you need to retrieve an ancient orb? You don't think that you might want to be a little bit more practical in your choices?" He asked with a small smile.
"Look who's in full Watcher mode." She said with a bright smiling face.
"That's my name don't wear it out. But really Faith, don't you think that you might want to include a few necessary items?"
"I still have to pack my weapons, make-up and a pair of boots I spotted at the mall."
"Oh, well, that is all you'll need." He said smartly. "Can I ask what the smile and good mood is all about?"
"I've decided that I need a strong stable man to back me up on my quest."
"I'm flattered, Faith, but I cannot accompany you. I do understand-"
"Oh, please, Derrick, I wasn't talking about you. My back up is Spike, he asked me if he could come along and I said yes."
"Spike? He asked to accompany you on a dangerous quest that could end both of your lives?"
"Okay, can we stay on the side of the optimistic?"
"I've read a great deal of research on Spike and he doesn't seem like the type to risk his life for someone he barely knows without they're being a reward for him."
"He did ask to go and he didn't ask for anything. He just wants to help me, I think. It doesn't matter really because I want him to come and he's going."
He frowned. "I've spoken with Giles recently and he had some interesting thoughts on the question of Spike. I believe that he had some great hopes that Spike would become some sort of hero, but what he has proved time and time again that he is not."
"I know, isn't that great? He's not some white knight demon like Angel and he isn't about doing the right thing every time. I think he's human and he shows it with the way he treats people."
"I don't think you should trust him without reservations."
"I know, I don't know him as well as I could, but in this short time, I've learned to like what I've seen of him."
"Don't allow your feelings to cloud your judgment."
"I don't, it's all instinct."
"You know perhaps I should speak with Buffy about him."
She laughed. "That will be a very strange conversation. For a really smart guy, you've got a lot to learn about men and woman."
"What do you mean?" He asked completely confused.
"I would be curious to ask Buffy about Spike, and to see how she dodges it. Derrick, haven't you ever noticed that she doesn't talk about the one demon who's been with her the last couple of years?"
"I assumed that there was some sort of falling out."
"Yes, or some sort of falling into the sack. Nobody says anything but I bet all of her friends know that she has been making time with him."
He laughed. "Yes, Giles did mention that Spike had developed a sort of crush on Buffy, but he assured me it was all one sided."
"Yeah, well, whatever. Buffy and Spike use to press the sheets pretty regular and then she told him he wasn't good enough and that was that."
"But." To say that Derrick was dumbfounded was an understatement; he'd never even considered the idea that Buffy and Spike had been a couple.
He couldn't help but feel sorry for her and think that she must have been desperately hurt and confused to do such a thing. To have become intimate with a creature that in it's nature was completely without redemption was a blatant cry for help.
"She's not the perfect little slayer you thought, huh? She's got a pretty neat dark side and I bet that Spike is just the beginning."
"Decorations check. Band, is too expensive, so boom box is cheap and that's a check, too. I picked the cake up from the bakery and it's very cute, so check. Friends, demons and others have been contacted to show and check. Let's see what's left, presents, great and I have twenty bucks to my name to pay lots of overdue bills. And I need to get Dawny a present." She grumbled looking at the lonely bill in her hand.
The house did look good, with lots of homemade decorations, which she hoped would impress her little sis. But money was always the issue and that there never seemed to be enough of it.
There came a knock on the door and she sighed. A knock usually meant at this hour, that the mailman had arrived with even more threatening bills. She opened the door with an obvious pout.
"Hello, I have a registered letter here for Buffy Summers." The mailman asked.
She frowned. "That's me, tell me it's not another bill."
He looked at the letter, "It's from a bank in England, I think."
She took it after signing for it and opened it wondering if it was more bad news.
The letter was indeed from a bank in England informing her that all future checks would be deposited in her account in the Sunnydale Bank. But enclosed was a check for $5000 and a nice thank you. If she could have fainted over the shock she would have.
The phone rang, she answered it happily, "Hello?"
"Buffy, it's Derrick, I was wondering if the Council had sent you a check?"
"This is from the Council?"
"Yes, when I explained that you were having some monetary concerns, they decided to treat you like any other employee and provide you with an income. That check is the first and you can expect one each month for the same amount or more depending on inflation."
"Does that mean that the Council thinks they own me? I mean, I do need the money but I---"
"The check does not mean they claim ownership of you or anything. It's a small token of their esteem and respect for you and the job your doing. I was just calling to inform you of that. Have you spoken to Giles recently?"
"No, not since the last visit, I guess, why?"
"I had been talking to Faith about Giles and he simply forgot to mention certain piece of information to me."
"Giles isn't usually the king of vague, he's usually explains stuff so well that you want to stop him at any cost."
"Yes, I suppose, he does do that. Dawn's party is tonight, isn't it?"
"Yeah, don't feel like you have to spend the night at some boring birthday party. We'll understand if you've got other stuff."
"No, no stuff, I will be there hopefully on time to wish the lovely Dawn a Happy Birthday, is she excited?"
"She will be now, I'm gonna take this check and make a few dreams come true and pay some bills."
"Good, there is no reason for you to ever have to worry about money again. I also want to say that if you ever need anything or just an ear, I'd be honored."
"Maybe."
"I'll see you tonight, I have to go."
"Bye, Derrick, and thank you."
She hung up and grabbed her purse to head out to the bank. This was going to be the best birthday party ever, Dawn deserved a bit of happiness and to be the center of attention for once. She willed herself to let no one and nothing to come in the way of that.
Dawn strolled home, hoping that when she arrived the party would begin immediately and that her homework could be put off until the end of time. As she arrived on her street she could feel someone walking behind her and she felt really strange. A voice called out her name sweetly.
She turned around. "Hello, Faith, I promised Buffy that if I saw you that I would run the other way."
Faith nodded. "I understand that big sis just wants to protect you, I get that. But Dawny we were cool with each other for a long time before-"
"Before you tried to kill people and took my sister's identity?"
"I went to prison and I learned a few things."
"I bet."
"I don't mean, look, it's your birthday kid and I saw this at the mall and I want you to have it."
Behind her back Faith had a wrapped present that she put down on the ground.
"Dawn, I don't want you to break your word, so I'll just leave this here and you can open it after the bomb squad says it's cool." Faith said backing up slowly.
Dawn knew that it was a gesture to just be nice and not to suck up to her. "Faith, look, I'm having a party tonight, if you want you can come and bring the present."
Faith frowned. "I'm not sure that's a good idea kid, I don't have a lot of friends in this town."
"Come tonight, maybe you can change a few minds. I always liked you and I think everybody deserves a second chance."
"I'll be there, I won't stay long. I'm going out of town tonight." Faith picked up a present.
"The party is at six, Derrick's coming so he can give you a ride."
"Yeah, or I could come with somebody else."
"Sure, I'll see you. It's nice to see you so changed, calm and nice."
"Thanks, you'd better go or big sis will send out a search party."
Dawn smiled and nodded. "Yep, she's still convinced I'm ten years old and I can't be left alone."
Faith waved goodbye and Dawn felt that whatever she'd gone thru had made her a better person. And tonight there was going to be enough tension and stress, with Spike being in the room with everybody. She didn't know why they all just couldn't get along for the evening.
This story is the answer to questions I'd had, what if Faith had come back at the end of Season Six? What would Faith think of Spike and Buffy?
I also gave her a watcher, and a way to save the world. This a SPUFFY story with Faith in it only to provide good angst. Please enjoy!~
Sunlight
PART THREE
But you can say baby, Baby can I hold you tonight? Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine...Tracy Chapman
Derrick tapped his foot on the floor waiting for Faith to finish her breakfast. Her need to consume huge amounts of food had normally amused him but now it was an obstacle to informing her about the quest. Her mouth was stuffed with sausage and eggs and her silence made him wonder where her thoughts were.
"Derrick, what's this talk over tea all about?" She emptied her mouth and cleared her teeth.
"The quest, I don't know how to say this, I know I told you that you'd have time to train but you don't. I've been informed by the Council that you will have to leave soon to complete the quest."
She frowned and nodded. "So live today for tomorrow we die, is that it?"
Her morbid words ringed true in his head but they didn't suit her. She'd come home from her poker game with an annoying kitten and a quiet look on her face. Something or someone had stirred her and her concentration had been reverted. It was important to him that she regains that focus, if only to keep her alive. He didn't trust that no matter how he had trained her that in the end she might end up failing.
"Let's get on with the training, I'm ready for a serious work out and then I'd like to see a friend."
"A friend? Is it someone you knew before?" He looked at her with concern.
"No, I don't think I knew him, even then. He's different then well, other people. He's alone like me, he's been hurt and we make each other laugh."
"Faith, your not a child, so be careful. This friend may seem just like someone to spend a nice evening with, but-"
"I don't just want to spend a nice evening with him playing poker or talking about our lives, I like him. He's damaged but not with goodness or guilt. He doesn't pull away from me or make me feel like a freak. I haven't felt anything in so long and I guess I am now."
"I want you feel, of course, but is he good enough?"
She laughed. "If he was good enough I wouldn't want him, he's not good. We're just alike and I need that."
"He sounds like a man who's healing, and those who are can be dangerous."
"No lectures, Derrick, let's just get down to business."
They walked down to the specially constructed gym and began their work out. Her fists flew at him with a power he was unaware she possessed. He deflected every hit by inches and the realization that she didn't want to hurt him. Her strength he'd been told was only equaled by Buffy who Giles had admired for both their powers. Only after several hours did a line of sweat cover her brow but she didn't stop for even a moment. He could barely keep up with her amazing stamina.
"Listen, Derrick, I can keep doing this for a few more hours or we can stop and you can catch your breath. I'd like to catch my friend while the sun is still up."
He nodded and moved away from her, "Good, I have to continue my research and call the Council, and get a definite time of departure."
"You do that, I'm gonna do the girly thing and take a shower."
He watched her walk away and tried to shove down the doubts that shook him.
He slept deeply; the dreams seemed to have their own life, with each one revealing nothing lasting. Figures seem to strike out at him without form or shape, each tore at his flesh and he wanted to scream. His body felt heavy and he wanted to run but he couldn't. A hand reached out to him pulling him away from the figures and taking him into a bright light. When the light hit him he felt his body come alive a sensation he'd only felt when he was human. Inside that body he knew only more pain and the scream came out ripping into his head.
He woke, the empty liquor bottle at his side fell to the ground and he knew he wasn't alone. In a chair across from him, she was watching him. She didn't move or say anything for a minute and then a small smile lit up her whole face. Her blonde hair down at her shoulders and she'd never looked more beautiful.
"What are you doing here? You said you weren't ever coming near me again." He stated his voice cold and flat.
"I don't think I ever said that."
"When the shag fest was over you didn't look back." He commented swinging his legs over to the side of the bed.
"I'm not here about us, I'm here because of Dawn. She's having a birthday on Friday and she's going to invite you." She watched him pull on his pants, he was careful to cover himself so that nothing showed.
"So this is my warning to say-sorry little bit, I'm very busy and I won't be able to make it. I guess you don't want to be in the same room with me.
It's a little awkward to be with me, unless your knickers are down at your feet. I can understand that." His bitterness made her frown and she looked away.
"I want you to be there, Dawn likes you and I have to respect that. You've been really good to her, looking after her and being there for her. I don't want her to feel like she can't have you around just because of us." She looked down.
"I like that word, us, it's not past tense, is it? Even though we are, right?" He smiled, hoping to see something anything like hope in her face.
She frowned."What we were doing it wasn't right and it wasn't going anywhere and we both knew it."
"I don't remember you ever asking me what I thought, I was just something for you be with and then you could walk away. I didn't matter or even count. I wanted something or anything from you that told me that you cared about me. But you couldn't do that." He crossed the room toward her.
"I'm sorry."
"I thought you were done with that word. I don't need to hear it." He leaned over her and grabbed the arms of the chair she was in.
She stood up, "Your right, I don't have to say I'm sorry. I wasn't the only one using someone. You did whatever you had to, to hurt me and it worked."
He pushed her back down into the chair. "I hurt you? I vaguely remember you mentioning that before. I don't see how, though, you don't love me and you don't care about me. I was just, I think the phase is-moving on. Right?"
"Right! Moving on, really just means moving on top of one of my best friends, huh? It didn't matter I suppose that you were hurting me. I can't stand the fact that I've been with you, there's nothing good about you-" He moved away from her.
"Last time you said that you had the good sense to be hitting me."
"I can't do this, there's no point to talking to you. You're never going to change-" She rose again ready to leave this time.
"I'm never going to be good enough, right? No matter what I do?"
Her anger swelled, she stared at him and all she wanted to lose her self inside him. He did hurt her; just looking at him was pain. He was right, she didn't have the right to keep doing this to them. She turned her back on him and started for the door.
"That's great, just go, that's what you do best." He spit out bitterly.
"You are right, you'll never be good enough for me to love. I can't trust you and every time I see you it gets confirmed. It doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't change the reality between us." She said it to stop him and stop herself from thinking he was anything she could ever really want.
"I've lived longer than you have, so you might want to listen to the voice of experience. Reality, is a thing of the present, it can change. I've changed, so have you, you're just waiting for everyone else to."
"No, Spike it's you, you'll never change. You'll always be evil and you never regret the things you've done."
She walked out, without looking back.
She tapped lightly on the door, she heard a voice inside beckon her in and she entered. The crypt was darker than usual and she could barely see anything. He stood there in the middle of the room staring at a blank wall laughing at himself. His face was sad and bitter, and she could tell that she had walked in after the storm.
"What happened?" She asked.
"Reality, dear, I just hit the wall and it hit back. You know, I really thought that if I could just be what she wanted that it would all work out. I curbed every impulse I had to just make her see that I changed. But she doesn't care; I'm just the dumb evil jerk she jumped for a while. I guess I'll have to leave town now, like the others. So, now I'm just another ex of her's and I'm nothing to her."
"So what, your just gonna sit here and take it? She throws you away and you don't do anything to stop it?"
"Deary, I love her, she can basically do anything to me, I'll take it and ask for more. I had her for a while and I always thought it would just be enough to have that. But I was wrong. I've been in love before and I know that it's more than she was willing to give."
"Then forget her, she doesn't deserve you, if she can't see what you really are-"
"Oh, please, I'm nothing. I'm selfish, I can't see anything from anyone's perspective except my own and I wasn't exactly faithful. I did things just to help her but they were the wrong things. I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself."
She approached him slowly and embraced him, it surprised them both. He closed his eyes and smelled her hair. She rested her check on his bare shoulder and sighed.
"This quest your going on for the orb thing.. Would you like some back up?" He offered.
"I'll take you in my corner any time, Spike. If Buffy doesn't know you like I do, then she doesn't deserve your love." She stared up into his face and smiled.
He didn't open his eyes, he couldn't. Her kindness was out of place in his life and it only served to make him sadder. He was going to face death with Faith and maybe it would prove to him that he was alive and worthy.
"I never said her name and I'm sure she never mentioned mine." He opened his eyes and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Yeah, that was kind of the dead give away, and she always liked it hot and heavy with the undead."
"I guess I'll need to pack a bag, where are we going?"
"To a land far, far, away." She teased.
He smiled. "When do we leave?"
"Friday night, I don't know how long we'll be gone."
"I'll leave my affairs in order, which isn't much. I have to go see Dawn at her party before we can leave."
"It's her birthday, ain't it?"
"Yeah, she's turning sixteen, it's an important age."
"Yes, it is, are you going to tell her about the quest?"
He nodded. "She's got enough people in her life trying to keep the truth from her."
He pulled away from her and picked up a small wrapped package nearby. He wanted Dawn to enjoy her day and maybe when he came home they'd both have something to celebrate.
She strolled around the cemetery ready to kill anything that crossed her path. The blind pain that crossed her mind, had a face and name. They fought every time they were near each other, if only to stop from giving into the incredible attraction between them. Maybe killing a few vamps or demons would just help to stop the feeling. It didn't matter what she did in the end she ended up in front of Spikes crypt looking for an excuse. That fact alone made her wonder who was stalking whom.
Behind her she heard someone running toward her and she turned in time to see a vamp run into a nearby crypt. In hot pursuit behind him were Faith and Spike who chased the vamp into that crypt as Buffy hid within site of them. She followed them, looking in at them.
Spike grabbed the vamp roughly showing him his game vamp face. He threw the vamp across the room, his body hitting the wall with a loud thud. Faith followed picking up the vamp, he punched her hard across the mouth sending her down onto the floor. Spike enraged went after the vamp chasing him into a corner picking him up again by the shoulders, Faith stood up and ran toward them. The vamp tried to struggle free but Faith tackled them sending them both to the floor. The stake in her hand turned the vamp to dust and she fell on top of Spike. They're faces were close enough to kiss; she straddled him suddenly and pinned his arms down. He didn't resist for a moment and then they laughed.
They're intimate movements and treatment of each other shook Buffy to the core. She could tell that Faith wanted him and that something was holding him back. She backed away from the door and ran away into the night. She didn't stop to even see her way; her feet barely touched the ground and her head pounded.
"Who was that?" She asked turning toward the empty door.
"That was Buffy who was checking up on you." He commented still pinned down.
"Really? Your wrong, Blondie, that was B checking up on you and running away from us."
He motioned for her to let him go and she did slowly, making sure she did so slowly to see if the fight had excited him in any way. It hadn't.
It was a beautiful Friday morning, with birds singing and the smell of coffee in the air. She looked out the window realizing that sleep had completely eluded her. Dawn came in and cleared her throat loudly.
"Happy Birthday, Dawn." She said sitting up in bed.
"Okay, seeing that it is my birthday I expect you to be happy and be constant with the showering of presents."
"How do you feel about, several Doublemeat meals on me?"
"Funny, but no, I'd like the works, party, band, cake, all my friends and lots of presents."
"How about a few blown up balloons, a home baked cake and a couple of people?"
Dawn shook her head, "No, Buffy, get up and make my birthday dreams come true."
"I will be good sister-Buffy and get this house in party mode." She said getting up slowly.
"You got home late last night, wanna talk about it?"
"No, I'd rather not, no big bad or anything. I went for a walk when I should have stayed home and watched TV with my favorite sister." She pulled on her robe and walked Dawn out of her room.
"Buffy, unless the monks or Dad get real creative, I'm your only sister."
Derrick watched Faith pack her bags with a curious look on his face. The army style duffle bag was stuffed with several skimpy shirts and leather pants.
"So, that is all you need to retrieve an ancient orb? You don't think that you might want to be a little bit more practical in your choices?" He asked with a small smile.
"Look who's in full Watcher mode." She said with a bright smiling face.
"That's my name don't wear it out. But really Faith, don't you think that you might want to include a few necessary items?"
"I still have to pack my weapons, make-up and a pair of boots I spotted at the mall."
"Oh, well, that is all you'll need." He said smartly. "Can I ask what the smile and good mood is all about?"
"I've decided that I need a strong stable man to back me up on my quest."
"I'm flattered, Faith, but I cannot accompany you. I do understand-"
"Oh, please, Derrick, I wasn't talking about you. My back up is Spike, he asked me if he could come along and I said yes."
"Spike? He asked to accompany you on a dangerous quest that could end both of your lives?"
"Okay, can we stay on the side of the optimistic?"
"I've read a great deal of research on Spike and he doesn't seem like the type to risk his life for someone he barely knows without they're being a reward for him."
"He did ask to go and he didn't ask for anything. He just wants to help me, I think. It doesn't matter really because I want him to come and he's going."
He frowned. "I've spoken with Giles recently and he had some interesting thoughts on the question of Spike. I believe that he had some great hopes that Spike would become some sort of hero, but what he has proved time and time again that he is not."
"I know, isn't that great? He's not some white knight demon like Angel and he isn't about doing the right thing every time. I think he's human and he shows it with the way he treats people."
"I don't think you should trust him without reservations."
"I know, I don't know him as well as I could, but in this short time, I've learned to like what I've seen of him."
"Don't allow your feelings to cloud your judgment."
"I don't, it's all instinct."
"You know perhaps I should speak with Buffy about him."
She laughed. "That will be a very strange conversation. For a really smart guy, you've got a lot to learn about men and woman."
"What do you mean?" He asked completely confused.
"I would be curious to ask Buffy about Spike, and to see how she dodges it. Derrick, haven't you ever noticed that she doesn't talk about the one demon who's been with her the last couple of years?"
"I assumed that there was some sort of falling out."
"Yes, or some sort of falling into the sack. Nobody says anything but I bet all of her friends know that she has been making time with him."
He laughed. "Yes, Giles did mention that Spike had developed a sort of crush on Buffy, but he assured me it was all one sided."
"Yeah, well, whatever. Buffy and Spike use to press the sheets pretty regular and then she told him he wasn't good enough and that was that."
"But." To say that Derrick was dumbfounded was an understatement; he'd never even considered the idea that Buffy and Spike had been a couple.
He couldn't help but feel sorry for her and think that she must have been desperately hurt and confused to do such a thing. To have become intimate with a creature that in it's nature was completely without redemption was a blatant cry for help.
"She's not the perfect little slayer you thought, huh? She's got a pretty neat dark side and I bet that Spike is just the beginning."
"Decorations check. Band, is too expensive, so boom box is cheap and that's a check, too. I picked the cake up from the bakery and it's very cute, so check. Friends, demons and others have been contacted to show and check. Let's see what's left, presents, great and I have twenty bucks to my name to pay lots of overdue bills. And I need to get Dawny a present." She grumbled looking at the lonely bill in her hand.
The house did look good, with lots of homemade decorations, which she hoped would impress her little sis. But money was always the issue and that there never seemed to be enough of it.
There came a knock on the door and she sighed. A knock usually meant at this hour, that the mailman had arrived with even more threatening bills. She opened the door with an obvious pout.
"Hello, I have a registered letter here for Buffy Summers." The mailman asked.
She frowned. "That's me, tell me it's not another bill."
He looked at the letter, "It's from a bank in England, I think."
She took it after signing for it and opened it wondering if it was more bad news.
The letter was indeed from a bank in England informing her that all future checks would be deposited in her account in the Sunnydale Bank. But enclosed was a check for $5000 and a nice thank you. If she could have fainted over the shock she would have.
The phone rang, she answered it happily, "Hello?"
"Buffy, it's Derrick, I was wondering if the Council had sent you a check?"
"This is from the Council?"
"Yes, when I explained that you were having some monetary concerns, they decided to treat you like any other employee and provide you with an income. That check is the first and you can expect one each month for the same amount or more depending on inflation."
"Does that mean that the Council thinks they own me? I mean, I do need the money but I---"
"The check does not mean they claim ownership of you or anything. It's a small token of their esteem and respect for you and the job your doing. I was just calling to inform you of that. Have you spoken to Giles recently?"
"No, not since the last visit, I guess, why?"
"I had been talking to Faith about Giles and he simply forgot to mention certain piece of information to me."
"Giles isn't usually the king of vague, he's usually explains stuff so well that you want to stop him at any cost."
"Yes, I suppose, he does do that. Dawn's party is tonight, isn't it?"
"Yeah, don't feel like you have to spend the night at some boring birthday party. We'll understand if you've got other stuff."
"No, no stuff, I will be there hopefully on time to wish the lovely Dawn a Happy Birthday, is she excited?"
"She will be now, I'm gonna take this check and make a few dreams come true and pay some bills."
"Good, there is no reason for you to ever have to worry about money again. I also want to say that if you ever need anything or just an ear, I'd be honored."
"Maybe."
"I'll see you tonight, I have to go."
"Bye, Derrick, and thank you."
She hung up and grabbed her purse to head out to the bank. This was going to be the best birthday party ever, Dawn deserved a bit of happiness and to be the center of attention for once. She willed herself to let no one and nothing to come in the way of that.
Dawn strolled home, hoping that when she arrived the party would begin immediately and that her homework could be put off until the end of time. As she arrived on her street she could feel someone walking behind her and she felt really strange. A voice called out her name sweetly.
She turned around. "Hello, Faith, I promised Buffy that if I saw you that I would run the other way."
Faith nodded. "I understand that big sis just wants to protect you, I get that. But Dawny we were cool with each other for a long time before-"
"Before you tried to kill people and took my sister's identity?"
"I went to prison and I learned a few things."
"I bet."
"I don't mean, look, it's your birthday kid and I saw this at the mall and I want you to have it."
Behind her back Faith had a wrapped present that she put down on the ground.
"Dawn, I don't want you to break your word, so I'll just leave this here and you can open it after the bomb squad says it's cool." Faith said backing up slowly.
Dawn knew that it was a gesture to just be nice and not to suck up to her. "Faith, look, I'm having a party tonight, if you want you can come and bring the present."
Faith frowned. "I'm not sure that's a good idea kid, I don't have a lot of friends in this town."
"Come tonight, maybe you can change a few minds. I always liked you and I think everybody deserves a second chance."
"I'll be there, I won't stay long. I'm going out of town tonight." Faith picked up a present.
"The party is at six, Derrick's coming so he can give you a ride."
"Yeah, or I could come with somebody else."
"Sure, I'll see you. It's nice to see you so changed, calm and nice."
"Thanks, you'd better go or big sis will send out a search party."
Dawn smiled and nodded. "Yep, she's still convinced I'm ten years old and I can't be left alone."
Faith waved goodbye and Dawn felt that whatever she'd gone thru had made her a better person. And tonight there was going to be enough tension and stress, with Spike being in the room with everybody. She didn't know why they all just couldn't get along for the evening.