TITLE: Where Do We Go From Here? (1/3)
AUTHOR: Pedellea
E-MAIL: pedellea@hotmail.com
DATE: February 20, 2003
RATING: G
SUMMARY: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.
SPOILERS: none
DISCLAIMER: Everwood belongs to Greg Berlanti, Mickey Liddell, Everwood Utah, Inc. and Warner Bros. Television.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Here is my first Everwood fanfic. Since I love exploring the minds of my favourite TV characters, why not explore the minds of Everwood characters? Hope you'll enjoy, and don't forget to send me some feedback. Thanks!
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
By Pedellea
~Amy~
He's gone.
Colin's gone, and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
I shouldn't have been so optimistic. I knew he didn't remember much of our relationship together, but I forced our past on him anyway. I hoped, really hoped, that he would remember everything we used to do. He said he liked me, but it just wasn't the same as it used to be. Things seemed to be going smoother lately though, and I really thought that it would all work out.
But now, with one seizure, he's gone forever.
I watched him, held him, as he was dying. The stabbing pain of losing him all over again hit me hard, only this time, I'm never going to get him back. I can't help but think that all those months of waiting, months of reading him books, playing music for him, just being with him in Denver, amounted to nothing. Nothing but the realization that he didn't even remember me.
How could I have deluded myself into thinking that things would get better? How could I have held on to the hope that I could get him, the Colin that I knew, back? Maybe I could've gotten him back.
But now he's dead.
Everyone's just giving me pitiful looks now, and if they had the courage, they'd say one or two words of comfort. None of it helps though. My boyfriend is gone, and my heart has been ripped in two.
There's no one to turn to. Sure, my parents are hovering over me, and Bright's always taking the time to sit by my bed as I lay there, emotionless. But none of them would dare to bring up Colin's death for fear that I would just crumble to piece or something. Maybe I would. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to plug up that empty whole in my heart.
I thought that Ephram would come by and talk, but it seems that he's preoccupied with Laynie. I don't blame him. After all, I told him to ask her out, and I guess it's only fair that she's spending his time comforting a sister who's lost her brother all over again. But how I wish that he would come to me and comfort me instead. How I wish I never forced him to be with Laynie. If they weren't together, then maybe we could...
Oh god, how can I be so selfish? Laynie just lost her brother, and Ephram deserves better than to hang around the girl he used to love but who pushed him away because she had a boyfriend that is now dead. As much as I want him here beside me, Ephram's gone from me too.
Colin's dead, Ephram's gone, and I'm all alone.
What am I supposed to do now?
Next chapter: Ephram
Feedback is much appreciated! Write a review, or e-mail me at pedellea@hotmail.com.