TITLE: Where Do We Go From Here? (2/3)
AUTHOR: Pedellea
E-MAIL: pedellea@hotmail.com
DATE: February 20, 2003
RATING: G
SUMMARY: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.
SPOILERS: none
DISCLAIMER: Everwood belongs to Greg Berlanti, Mickey Liddell, Everwood Utah, Inc. and Warner Bros. Television.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Here is my first Everwood fanfic. Since I love exploring the minds of my favourite TV characters, why not explore the minds of Everwood characters? Hope you'll enjoy, and don't forget to send me some feedback. Thanks!

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
By Pedellea

~Ephram~

I should have never moved to Everwood.

If I had stayed in New York, I would have never met Amy. If I hadn't met Amy, then I wouldn't have raised her hopes about curing Colin. Then I wouldn't have pressed my dad about doing the surgery, and the surgery wouldn't have been done, and Colin wouldn't have woken up, and Laynie wouldn't have come back from boarding school...

Who am I kidding? All these things happened, and now Colin's dead. It hurt to see him die, but unlike the others, I didn't know him until he woke up from his coma. So this whole losing Colin business is new to me, although I've seen the hurt and the pain in Laynie.

And Amy.

Why didn't I visit her? She was my first friend since moving to Everwood, and now her boyfriend was dead. Sure, she pushed me away and now I'm with her dead boyfriend's sister, but she knows as well as I that I still like her. So why is that I've been avoiding her since his death?

It's because I'm with Laynie. Laynie's taking it hard, and I sympathize. I don't know what it's like to lose a sibling, exactly. But I know how it is like to lose a mother. It hurts, and the dread then realization that she's gone hits me anew each morning. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to lose Delia. Nothing like death to force yourself to re-examine what you treasure the most.

I guess I'm sticking around Laynie because I just feel so sorry for her. The thing is that her parents are just going about arranging the funeral, and ignoring her in the process. She's all alone while going through the death of her brother, so it only seems suiting that I should be with her. She hasn't talked too much, and she hasn't cried very much either. She also hasn't asked me to leave, and through this tragedy, I guess this is the best that I can do for her. Colin would probably have wanted that. I have a feeling she would break into a million piece if I left, and I would never want to see that happen.

But what about Amy? Truth is, I can't stop thinking about her, even as I'm sitting here, staring at the TV with Laynie. I've seen her break down because of Colin, and it's heartbreaking to know that she's going through that all over again, but only ten times worse. But, for some reason, I can't bring myself to visit her either. I can't seem to even call her. I don't know if it's guilt for having raised her hopes about Colin, or guilt of leaving Laynie all alone. But if I was her true friend, wouldn't I do the best to comfort her as well, no matter what my attachments are?

God, this is so complex. Who knew life could get even more complicated in a small town where nothing seemed to happen?

I wish I never moved to Everwood.

Next chapter: Laynie
Feedback, feedback, feedback... please? Write a review, or e-mail me at pedellea@hotmail.com.