"Mystery Woman – part 6"
* * *
That afternoon, Lorelai lay on Rory's bed, telling the story of what happened that morning at Luke's.
". . . so then he said something about getting up on the wrong side of the bed," Lorelai said. "And for some stupid reason, I go into this idiotic rant about how I hate that expression. Which I don't – I use that expression myself – but I was just in such a bad mood that I couldn't stop myself. And now he's probably thinking that I'm some kind of nutcase. Not that he didn't think that already, but if he was having any doubts about it, I think I cleared it up for him." She sighed loudly. "I don't know what to do. Help me, please."
She rolled onto her side and stared at Colonel Clucker, who was sitting on the nightstand next to Rory's bed.
"You think I should go and apologize to him, don't you?" she asked with a sigh. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "You're probably right. I should do it soon, too, before – "
"Mom?" Rory's voice called from the front door. "You home?"
"Agh!" Lorelai jumped up off the bed. "Thanks for listening," she whispered to the stuffed chicken before running out of the bedroom. She walked toward the living room, where Rory was dropping her school stuff on the couch. "Yeah, I'm here."
"You're home early," Rory commented.
"Yeah, I had some errands to run for the inn, so I just came right home afterwards," Lorelai explained. "How was school?"
"Crazy," Rory replied as she collapsed on the couch. "I'm so overloaded with work, I don't even think I'm gonna have time for dinner or any of our usual three nighttime snacks."
Lorelai gasped and sat down next to her. "Enough with the insane psycho-babble. Gilmores never skip dinner or snacks."
"But it's true. The amount of work that teachers assign on a daily basis has greatly increased since I was a kid," Rory said.
Lorelai smiled. "Way back when?"
"Yup, back in those forgotten days of my youth," Rory said.
Lorelai playfully pinched Rory's cheek. "You're so cute when you act like you're fifty-five years old." She stood up. "Here's the deal – we'll order Chinese food, and I'll go pick it up myself and walk really slow so you can have the house to yourself for a little while and get started on that work."
"No, that's okay," Rory waved her off. "You don't have to do that. We can just get it delivered."
"No, I wanna go pick it up, really," Lorelai insisted. She walked toward the kitchen. "Come help me make a menu."
"Now?" Rory asked. "It's only four-thirty."
Lorelai turned around. "Oh, right. Guess it's a little early for dinner."
"Kind of," Rory agreed.
"Well, listen, I'll go take a long hot bath," Lorelai said. "That's a pretty quiet activity that'll keep me from annoying you while you try to work."
"Unless you decide to do your 'worst singers of the American Idol auditions' impressions," Rory said, rolling her eyes.
Lorelai smiled and raised her hand. "I swear that if I get the urge, I'll do it quietly."
"Okay."
"Then we'll order the food and I'll go pick it up and it'll be more like six-ish by the time I finally get it back here. Sound good?"
Rory nodded. "Sounds good."
* * *
It was almost six when Lorelai, toting a takeout bag from Al's Pancake World, walked past Luke's. She stopped out front and glanced through the window, deciding that stopping in and apologizing to Luke might be a good idea.
She walked into the diner. She saw Jess at the counter and Caesar delivering some plates to a table, but she didn't see Luke. Lorelai walked over to Caesar. "Caesar, is Luke here?"
He turned around to see who was asking, and a brief look of confusion passed over his face as he glanced toward the stairs. "Yeah, he just went upstairs with. . .well, I thought it was with you, but it must've been that other girl."
Lorelai's face fell, and she exhaled slowly. "Leslie."
"I guess so," he replied with a shrug. "I only saw the back of her." He walked back to the kitchen.
Lorelai stood in the center of the diner, staring at the doorway that led to the upstairs. Upstairs. . .they're upstairs. . . together. Okay, well, maybe they're playing cards or something. Or maybe they're eating dinner. It is dinner time, after all. Or maybe they're –
Lorelai broke off her random thoughts with a sigh.
Forget it, you know they're doing it. God, there was that intense stomach pain again. Is this how it's gonna be for the rest of my life? I'm gonna feel sick to my stomach every time I even think about Luke? This is crazy. She turned and walked out of the diner. Instead of heading home, however, she walked toward the market to buy some ice cream.
* * *
Upstairs in the apartment, Luke handed Leslie a can of soda. "Here ya go."
"Thanks," she replied. "So, what did you wanna talk about? You sounded weird on the phone."
Luke took a deep breath as he sat down next to her on the couch. "God, uh, well. . .Leslie. . ."
"Yeah?" Leslie prompted him. She took a sip of her soda, then stared at him expectantly.
Luke began wringing his hands, then stood up and began pacing nervously in front of her.
"Luke, what is it?" she asked.
Luke stopped pacing and shoved his hands into his pockets. He glanced down at the floor as he said, "Look, I kind of lied to you a little bit yesterday. . ."
"Lied to me?" Leslie asked. "Lied to me about what?"
"About what you asked me at lunch. . .about Lorelai."
Leslie narrowed her eyes, trying to remember their conversation. "You mean, when I asked you if you noticed that we kind of look alike?"
Luke nodded.
"So. . .what? You're saying that you have noticed it?"
"Yeah."
"So why didn't you just say that?" she asked.
Luke gave a half shrug and shook his head. "I don't know." He walked over to the kitchen counter and stared out the window over the sink. Oh my God, I haven't had to do anything like this in so long. I'd forgotten how much I hate it.
Leslie stared at him for a moment, confused as to where this conversation was headed. She finally stood up and walked toward him. She set her drink on the kitchen table and folded her arms across her chest. "Luke?"
You have to do it, Luke. Just suck it up and tell her. Luke sighed loudly and turned to face her. "Look, this whole situation. . .it's just. . .this isn't how it's supposed to be. . ."
Leslie took a few steps toward him, staring up at him with wide eyes that were troubled with confusion. "Luke, what are you saying?"
"Uh, well. . . I think we. . .maybe we should. . ." Luke stammered. Say it Luke. Just tell her it's over.
* * *
The next morning, Lorelai skipped her morning visit to the diner – for no other reason than she was mad at Luke. Mad at him for being upstairs with Leslie in the middle of the dinner rush.
She knew she was absolutely insane; she knew she didn't have a right to be mad at him, especially for that reason. He could do whatever he wanted with his girlfriend. But the more she thought about exactly what they were doing, the more she wanted to slap him. Wanted to scream at him. Wanted to cry.
She'd decided that avoidance was the best way to deal with the anger. Just avoid the diner for a day or two, try to let the feelings settle, then go back. When, undoubtedly, something else would happen that would get her upset, and she'd again have to avoid the diner for a day or two to let the feelings settle. It was probably going to be a vicious circle for the rest of her life. Or at least until she got over him. Which she hoped was soon.
That night after work, Lorelai stopped by the market to pick up a few things. As she walked out and headed for her car, she saw Luke walking down the sidewalk right toward her. God, we really need to move to a bigger town. This "avoiding people" thing doesn't really work well in Stars Hollow. She stared down at the sidewalk, hoping that by some miracle he wouldn't say anything to her.
"Hey," he said when they reached each other.
Rats. She stopped walking and looked at him. "Hi." She shifted the plastic bag to her other arm. "Just had to pick up a few things from the market." Ooh, very interesting conversation topic. It's always helpful to point out the obvious.
Luke nodded. "Right."
Lorelai cleared her throat. "Listen. . .uh, I'm sorry about yesterday morning. . ."
"Oh, forget about it."
"No, I was in a cranky mood and I was acting like you'd just dropped a house on my sister or something," she said. Luke stared at her until she clarified, "You know, because I was acting like the wicked witch, all . . .mean and witch-y."
"Ah," Luke nodded understandingly. "Got it."
"So. . .I'm sorry," Lorelai muttered.
Luke waved her off. "Don't worry about it. We all have our days."
She stared down at the sidewalk as she said, "I actually stopped by last night to apologize. . .but you were busy."
"Busy?"
"Yeah, Caesar told me you were upstairs with Leslie," Lorelai said, looking up at him with a small smirk. As she saw the uncomfortable look appear on his face, she held up her hand and said, "Don't worry. I won't make any jokes about you taking her upstairs to give her a free dessert or anything."
Luke shifted his feet. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." They stared at each other for a moment until she said, "Uh, I better go."
"Oh, okay." Tell her. . .tell her that you broke up with Leslie. See how she reacts to it.
"See ya," Lorelai said.
"Bye." As she started walking down the sidewalk, Luke sighed and scolded himself. Why didn't you say anything, you moron? He turned around and watched her walk toward her Jeep. You should've told her.
He was almost tempted to follow her down the street and tell her. . .but something stopped him. Something made him wonder if maybe it would be better if Lorelai still thought he was with Leslie. It'd give him a chance to see if she really was jealous. . . to see if she really was interested.
* * *
Two days later, Lorelai and Rory walked into the diner and sat down at a table. "So who's the one who scheduled a wedding and a convention a day apart?" Rory asked.
"Michel," Lorelai replied, rolling his eyes. "And I told him there's no way he's getting out of working both parties. It's gonna be so crazy that weekend. As soon as the wedding's over on Saturday night, we're gonna have to stay up all night cleaning and rearranging furniture and getting things ready for the convention people who'll arrive the next morning. It's gonna suck."
"It's gonna be tough," Rory agreed. "When is it? This weekend?"
Lorelai shook her head. "Nope, the next one. I'm already dreading it."
"Aw, poor girl. I can help out if you need me," Rory said. "It won't be a school night."
"Really? Because I might take you up on that," Lorelai warned her.
"Take me up."
"Take me down, take me anywhere you want to baby, now," Lorelai sang.
Rory let out a surprised laugh. "Oh my God."
"Sorry, the song just popped into my head," Lorelai said, frowning.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you just randomly spurted out Mariah Carey lyrics," Rory promised.
"Thank you."
"Except Lane, because that's fun mocking material," Rory added.
"No fair! That was from the decade when her songs were kinda catchy," Lorelai defended herself. "And they overplayed it so much, I had no choice but to hear it and to subconsciously store the lyrics in my head."
"I understand," Rory nodded. "But it's still worth mocking."
Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "Evil child. I'm gonna go order. When I come back, try to have a list of reasons ready to remind me why I love you."
"Will do."
Lorelai walked to the counter just as Luke walked out from the kitchen. Lorelai nodded toward him. "Hey."
"Oh, hey," Luke replied. He glanced past her and saw Rory at the table. "Just get here?"
"Yup. Uh, coffee and burgers," Lorelai said.
"Okay," Luke replied. "Hang on, I'll get the coffee right now." He pulled two mugs out from under the counter, then turned to get the coffeepot. As he began pouring the coffee, he smiled to himself.
Lorelai noticed. "What's that for?"
"Huh?" He looked up at her, then realized she was talking about the smile. "Oh, it's just. . .I was thinking about something Leslie said the other day."
Lorelai clenched her teeth together and glanced down. "Oh." God, Luke, making me feel sick right before I'm gonna eat isn't a good idea.
Luke noticed her sudden discomfort. "It was just a funny little comment she made," he continued.
Lorelai ran her fingers over the countertop as she muttered, "Yeah, she seems like a funny, funny girl."
"She is," Luke confirmed, eyeing Lorelai's expression.
"That's great. . .that's really, really nice," Lorelai said quickly. She sighed and asked, "How's that coffee coming along?"
"Oh, sorry." Luke finished pouring the second cup. "There you go."
"Thanks." Lorelai picked them up and walked back to the table. Luke stood at the counter watching her, a satisfied smirk on his face.
* * *
The next morning, Luke once again tried to evoke feelings of jealousy in Lorelai. As he delivered two plates of pancakes to her and Rory, he said, "There you go." Then he yawned loudly and stretched his arms up over his head.
"Rough night?" Rory asked.
Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, you know. . .I didn't get back from Leslie's until pretty late, so. . ." He gestured aimlessly with his hands. Oh God, I can't believe I just said that in front of Rory.
Rory suddenly felt embarrassed, and she glanced away. "Oh."
Jesus, do you have to talk about her every single time I'm around? Lorelai wanted to scream at him. Do you not understand how much it kills me every time I hear her name?
Her face tightened up and she stabbed her stack of pancakes with her fork, the metal clinging loudly against the plate. "Yes, well, let's hope that the late night didn't affect the quality of the food, huh? That might prevent us from returning." She shoved a piece of pancake into her mouth and stared out the window as she chewed it.
Luke dropped the check on the table. "Well, let me know if it does so I'll know for next time." He turned and walked back to the counter.
Rory glanced over at Luke, then back to Lorelai. "That was weird."
"What was weird?"
"Luke. . .talking about Leslie like that," Rory said. "I mean, . . .like that. He was being kind of. . .I don't know, open. . .blunt. . .don't you think?"
"I guess so," Lorelai mumbled.
Rory shrugged. "I don't know. It was just weird to hear him say something like that. I mean, implying that - "
"Yeah, I know what he was implying," Lorelai interrupted. "Let's drop it. I'm trying to eat here."
"Okay, sorry," Rory muttered.
* * *
A few minutes later, Rory pulled on her coat and picked up her backpack. "I gotta go." She leaned across the table and kissed Lorelai on the cheek. "See you tonight."
"Bye hon. Have a good day."
As Rory left, Lorelai pulled some money from her purse. She picked up the check and walked up to Luke at the counter. He stopped filling the salt shakers, wiped his hands on his apron, then took the money from her. "So. . .did the quality of the food suffer?" he asked.
"Not significantly, but I believe I detected a slight decrease in fluffiness," Lorelai said.
"Well, I'll have to talk with Leslie and see if we can work out a better solution for next time then," he said as he put the money into the register. "You know, she said the funniest thing the other – "
Lorelai groaned. "God, why do you have to talk about her all the time?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air with frustration. A few customers glanced toward her, then went back to eating their food.
Luke was taken aback by the outburst, though he realized that this was the reaction he'd been waiting for. "God, what's your problem?"
Lorelai's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – "
"Jealous?" he interrupted, folding his arms across his chest.
Lorelai scoffed loudly. "No, I'm not jealous. I just don't need to hear about her every minute of the day. It's annoying." She walked to her table and grabbed her things, then walked out of the diner.
Luke followed her out the door and caught up to her. "I think you're jealous of her," he said quietly.
Lorelai turned around. "Well, I'm not! I think it's great that you found someone you like who can keep you up all night and cause you to make less-than-perfect pancakes. I couldn't be happier for you!" she said angrily.
"Yeah, you sound it," he commented.
"I have to go to work," she declared. She turned around and started walking down the sidewalk.
He glanced around, making sure no one was in earshot, as he said, "We broke up."
Lorelai stopped walking.
"A few days ago," he added as he walked toward her.
She turned around to face him. "What?"
"You heard me," he said.
She adjusted her purse on her shoulder as she said, "But that doesn't make sense. You said that - "
"I know what I said," Luke interrupted. "I lied."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes with confusion. "Why?"
Luke glanced around, worried that someone might hear them. "Come upstairs with me so we can talk. Jess already left."
"I have to get to work," Lorelai said, glancing down at her watch.
"It'll only be a few minutes," Luke insisted. "Please?"
Lorelai sighed and slowly walked toward him. He led her back to the diner and up to his apartment. She dropped her things by the door, then folded her arms across her chest. "What's going on, Luke?"
"We broke up," Luke said.
"Yeah, I got that part," Lorelai said, waving for him to continue. "Why'd you lie?"
Luke walked over to the kitchen table, suddenly feeling more nervous than he ever had in his life. "Because. . ." He swallowed hard as he stared across the room at her.
"Because what?"
"Because I wanted you to think we were still together," he finally said.
"Oh, of course." Lorelai rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You know, if you're trying to make me more confused, you're doing a damn good job."
"Will you sit down? You're making me nervous just standing there." Luke pointed to the couch, and Lorelai stared at him as she walked over and sat down. He walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Uh. . .so. . .Patty said the other day that you've been in a bad mood for awhile, and she thought you . . .might've been jealous of Leslie."
Lorelai shook her head in disbelief. "She said that?"
"Yeah. And so. . .I was bringing up her name around you to see how you reacted," Luke explained. "To see if it was true." He paused a moment before he added, "And it seemed like it was."
Lorelai stared down at the floor. Neither of them spoke for almost a minute as Luke waited for her to say something, waited for her to confirm it. He felt more nervous with every passing second, terrified that he'd made a mistake by bringing this up.
Finally, she looked up at him. "Why'd you guys break up?"
Luke began wringing his hands. "Because I didn't want to be with her." He paused, and told himself, Luke, you've come this far, don't hold back anything. "I think I only asked her out because. . .she looked like you. I think I was trying to fool myself that . . .I was with you." Oh God, you sound like such a moron. This is why you never share your feelings, because you always sound so stupid.
"But you said it was only a coincidence," Lorelai reminded him.
"It wasn't."
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Another lie? God, Luke, when did you become such a pathological liar?"
"Look, it was a subconscious thing," Luke explained. "I didn't see it until someone pointed it out. Then I realized that. . .I was just kidding myself. And I didn't wanna tell you that because I didn't want to freak you out. But then. . .I saw that you were jealous. . . and I thought you. . ." He shrugged, not knowing how to finish his sentence.
Lorelai stood up from the couch and walked over to the window. She stared out at the town square as she asked, "So. . .what are you saying, Luke? What is the point of this whole discussion?"
He stood up and took a few steps toward her. Just say it, Luke. You might never get this far into it again. Don't worry about rejection – you can't go through life being scared of that anymore. "The point is. . .that I broke up with her because. . .I want to be with you." Oh God, I've been waiting so long to say that.
Lorelai's heart started pounding so fast she could've sworn that the entire town could hear the thumping sounds. He does wanna be with you.
"And I thought that. . . you might. . .well, that you. . .maybe. . ." His voice trailed off.
Lorelai closed her eyes. "That I want to be with you?" she supplied.
"Well. . .yeah."
Oh my God. Lorelai covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. What are you doing? This is what you've wanted to happen for weeks and you're just standing here with your back to him like you're ignoring him. Turn around!
Lorelai listened to her inner voice and turned around to look at him. Her chest rising noticeably with each breath, she tried to interpret the expression on his face – it was a mixture of nervousness, embarrassment, fear, excitement.
She walked over to him. She brought her hands up to his flannel shirt and fingered the buttons as she stared into his eyes. "I do," she whispered. "I do wanna be with you."
As relief washed over him, he smiled and brought his hands to her waist, running his thumbs over the fabric of her silk shirt.
Her gaze traveled down from his eyes to his nose to his lips. She stared at them, wondering if they felt as soft as they looked. She brought her hand up to his face, and after running her fingers over the harsh stubble on his cheeks, she outlined his lips with her pointer finger.
Oh my God. He could barely catch his breath, and all she had done was touch him. He could tell that her hands were trembling, and he waited anxiously for her to make a move.
Just do it, Lorelai, she told herself. You know you want to. She swallowed hard and started to lean closer to him. Oh my God, I'm about to kiss Luke. Luke!
Their lips met with delicate tenderness, and the kiss was far more gentle than either had anticipated. Luke pulled her closer to his body, and her arms that had been draped over his shoulders soon tightened around his neck. The kiss became more passionate, more desire-filled, and neither wanted to be the first to give in to the need for oxygen.
When they finally broke apart, Lorelai rested her chin on his shoulders as he hugged her. After she had caught her breath, she whispered. "Is this right?"
"Felt right to me," Luke said.
"Me, too," she said. "But. . .I still don't know if it is. . ."
Luke pulled back to look at her. "How can it not be right if we both want it?"
"We both want it now, but what happens if it doesn't work out?" Lorelai asked. She pulled away from him and walked over to the couch to sit down. "What happens if we start . . .I don't know, dating or whatever, and then we discover that it's not working out and we break up. Things'll be weird between us."
Luke took a deep breath. "They might be. . .but. . ."
"But what?"
"But. . .it's a risk I'm willing to take," he said.
Lorelai glanced down at the floor. "I don't wanna hurt you."
"Why would you?"
"Because I suck at relationships, Luke," Lorelai reminded him. "If something goes wrong between us, it'll probably be because of me getting scared or freaking out or running away. I have a bad track record."
Luke sat down next to her. "Look, I know all that. . .but like I said, it's a risk I'm willing to take." Lorelai didn't look convinced, so Luke added, "Let's agree right now that if things don't work out. . .no matter what happens, we try as hard as we can to get things back to the way they were."
Lorelai shook her head. "Things will never be the same. They'll always be weird from now on."
"Things can only be weird if we let them be." He paused a moment, studying her expression. "What do you say?"
Lorelai exhaled slowly. "But. . .things won't be different just between you and me. I mean, Rory – what about her? I mean, I haven't even told her that I. . . have feelings for you."
"You haven't?" Luke sounded surprised.
Lorelai shook her head. "No. I mean, she could tell I was a little jealous, but I never mentioned anything specific about it."
"Why not?" Luke asked. "I thought you tell her everything?"
Lorelai shrugged. "I don't know. I just. . . I felt weird talking to her about this. I mean, she knows you so well, and we see you almost every day, and I didn't want things to be . . . "
"Weird," Luke finished.
"Right."
"You're really concerned about the weirdness factor, huh?"
Lorelai nodded. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be, but – "
"No, it's okay."
"And it's not just with Rory. The whole town will treat us differently. They'll always be hounding us and bothering us and asking us questions all the time. While we're together, and if we break up. . .you know how into relationships they get." Lorelai sighed and rested her chin in her palms. "That's why I haven't told anyone how I'm feeling. No one knows. I just don't know how it'll work out."
They were quiet for a few seconds before Luke said, "Don't tell 'em."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him. "What?"
"Let's not tell anyone that we're together," Luke said. "Not Rory, not Sookie, no one."
Lorelai doubtfully cocked her head to the side. "Luke, what are you talking about?"
"We'll try things out between us for a little while, test the waters," Luke said. "And if things aren't going well. . .well, then, we'll split up, and no one will have to know but us."
Lorelai stared at him with wide eyes. "You're serious about this?"
"I can handle it if you can," Luke said with a nod.
"You're gonna try to keep a secret in Stars Hollow?" she asked with a laugh. "Come on, Luke, you know that's impossible."
"It'll be tough," Luke agreed. "But if we really want to do it, I think we can."
Lorelai stared at him for a moment, considering it. "You know, I'm the one who's supposed to come up with the crazy schemes like that. I'm the wacky one."
Luke moved closer to her and took her hand into his. "So. . .what do you say?"
Lorelai glanced down at their entwined fingers, then smiled at him. "I say. . .let this mark the beginning of our secret dating escapades."
* * *
To be continued. . .
Thanks so much to everyone for reading, and for the nice feedback! :)