A/N-I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters.As if I could
come up with anything as sexy as Oliver and Draco
The following songs are used in the chapter-
*Barbie Girl By Aqua (Snape is singing it)
*Dancing Queen by ABBA (Hermione singing)
*C'est La Vie by B*witched (Sorting hat and Draco singing)
*Everywhere by Michelle branch (Seamus singing) *All that she wants by Ace of Base (Dean singing)
Two very evil and very identical snickers came from within the darkened room.It was well past midnight.The pair looked over their work with proud satisfaction.Their creations were finished.
Fred and George Weasley both snickered again.
"They'll never know what hit em'" Whispered Fred
"Or at least it will be too late by the time they do.Is there enough for everyone?" whispered back
"Oh yes" Replied his brother. "Enough for every student and teacher,plus a few extra"
"Excellent"
Fred wrapped their bag of goodies up in an oversized brown paper bag and attached it to him and his brothers owl Elf.
"Thats a good boy elf" Smirked George as he stroked the bird lovingly.
"Take the entire bag to Hogwarts and distribut each individual goodie to whichever person it's meant for.Any left overs can just be put in the common rooms or in the great hall or something"
Elf hooted at the twins and flew out in window and into the night.
The pair grinned at each other.The next day at Hogwarts was going to be a very amusing one.
~The Next Day
Ron and Harry had both slept in late.Again.
They were both up the better half of the night discussing plans of attack on Slytherin in case they decided to get a little revenge on the Gryffindors for what they had done to Snape and Malfoy.
Luckily it was Saturday and so it wouldn't matter if they were late up...or so you would think.
"AHHHH!!!!Harry wake up!!!We're going to miss breakfast!!!" Screamed Ron in a panic
"What the bloody hell Ron,stop screaming,it isn't the end of the world" muttered Harry,still half asleep
Ron glared at his best friend. "Never let me hear you undermine breakfast like that again"
With that,Ron pulled Harry out of his bed and the pair dressed quickly.Neither of them saw the little present at the ends of their beds like everyone else in the school had.
They ran down to the Gryffindor common room.They would have ran out of the portrait hole but around them something rather odd was going on.
"What the bloody hell...." gasped out Ron
The few people in the tower were all.....singing love songs....at each other!
"The Slytherins...." Declared harry in a rather dark voice
It was about then that Parvati ran past and dropped a wrapper as she crash tackled Dean Thomas.Ron picked it up.
"Oh lord no" Muttered Ron in utter disbelief
"What Ron?What is it" Asked Harry
Ron showed him the wrapper.It was red and in the shape of a love heart.On the inside it read Dean Thomas.
"So what?" said Harry. "Still doesn't mean it's not Slytherin"
"Look again Harry" Ron replied
Harry leaned in further and in tiny gold writing he could make out some writing that looked rather like "G.F.W".
Harry groaned "Fred"
"And George" replied Ron,looking somewhat amused.That was until Neville appeared.
He took one look at Ron and fell down upon his knees.
"All that I want,is Rons baby..even if we are two boys...all that I want is rons baby..yeah" he sang with particular emotion.
Ron froze in pure horror.Harry burst into hysterics.
"RUN" yelled Ron,having to push a laughing Harry over to make him come back to his senses.They turned on their heals and fled to the girls dormitries.Hopefully it would be safe there.
"Come back soon Ronny darling!" cried Neville
Ron cried out in horror again and slammed the door shut and fell on the floor to catch their breath.
"Dear lord" gasped Harry
"I can't believe this" muttered a very put out Ron
"They are bloody prankster Geniuses them too,though i'd never tell em so.The person eats the chocolate or whatever was in the wrapper and they fall in love with whoever was wirtten on their."
"Ruddy Brillian" agreed Harry "Although quite scary"
"So THATS what happened" said the voice of someone quite invisible to both Ron and Harry
Ginny slid out from under her bed and walked over to the pair
"Ive been hiding out under there all morning.Ever since Filch asked me if I'd like a tour of his broom closet and chased me up the stairs"
Ron was nearly sick all over the floor.
"ugh and I thought Seamus was bad" Harry said,revolted.
The three of them sat in silence for awhile until suddenly Harry snapped to attention.
"Oh god...Ginny where's Hermione?"
"She went down to the dungeons.She said she had to pay Professor Snape a little visit about an extra credit assignment right after she......oh dear"
"AFTER WHAT?" screamed the two boys
Ginny shrank back from them a bit.
"......after she ate the chocolate"
"FUCK" yelled Harry
"SHIT" cried Ron
The three of them all got up and raced over to Hermiones bed.Sure enough there was an empty red wrapped on her pillow which read "Severus Snape".
Within 3 seconds they were all off down the stairs into the common room again.They ran towards the portrait hole,when suddenly harry crashed straight into Seamus.
"Sorry Seamus" said Harry quickly,eager to find Hermione
"Oh that's quite alright Harry" purred Seamus as he took a firm hold of Harry's shoulder
Harry squirmed uncomfortably.
"Erh,Seamus..are you alright?"
"Oh yes Harry i'm fine......" The Irish boy purred back before(as if on cue) burst into song
*Cause you're everywhere to me,"
*when I do divination its you I see"
*your everything I know that makes me believe*
*i'm a homo oooooo,i'm a homo*
He sang seductively at the petrified boy opposite him
"Oh hell no" yelled Harry as he broke free,swung the portrait open and dived out.Ron and Ginny followed,both quite amused by Seamus' little show
"Who's laughing now Harry" Ron grinned
"Shut up you" Harry repliedas they all headed down the stairs
On the way the encountered many love sick people beating out ballads.Including the sorting hat bouncing after an unfortunate and rather scared first year.
*Gotta put me on....hey hey hey*
*Listen to my song.....heeeeey*
*I can do all sorts of stuff.....hey hey hey*
*I'm hip,i'm buff.*
*I can put you in hufflepuff!*
Harry,Ron and Ginny couldn't help but snicker a little bit despite the possible crisis at hand.God knows what was going on in the potions room right now
~Meanwhile~
Professor Snape was alone in his dungeon spending this particularly beautiful Saturday morning doing what he did every weekend,having a good time cleaning out his cauldron and test tubes ready for Monday's lesson.
The potions master listened to see if anyone was coming.As far as he could tell,no one was.He decided to brave it and started singing to himself and whatever foul rodents were scurrying past the dark and dreary corners of the dungeon.If anyone had heard him,Severus would simply die,especially since he was singing his own version of a very well known muggle song that would embarrass him to death if anyone were to hear.And thank's to the Gryffindors he had,had quite enough embarrassment for one lifetime.
*I'm a potions man,part of the Slytherin clan*
*Life potions master,love life a total disaster
*I don't brush my hair,black is all I wear*
*Total lack of hygiene,my cauldron the only thing I clean*
He sang gruffly to himself
Suddenly there was a rather seductive voice from the doorway
"Come on Snapey,come and play with me" Sang the voice to the exact same tune as the professor was only seconds before.
Snape looked up,startled both because he had been caught in the act of doing something very un-snapish and because he could have sworn Hermione Granger was at the door of his room purring seductive words in his direction and making eyes at him.
"Miss Granger!What are you doing in here!" the mortified professor barked
"Oh nothing" Hermione said quite innocently
"Just you..." She finished with a wicked little grin
Snape started to walk backwards,away from the girl,but she only follwed until he was pinned up againts the dungeon wall.
"Miss...Miss Gran..ger...if this is your idea of some sick joke...I..I suggest that you stop it right now" Snape said,trying to sound full of authority,as per usual...but somehow it wasn't working.
"Oh this is now joke professor.This is very...very...serious" she smiled at him and she said each and every word slowly and teasingly
"Oh my god...." The professor said,horrorfied,looking for an escape root
~Snapes Inner Monologue~
She is only a student,she is only a student,she is only a student.fight severus you dirty old man.fight!
~Back in the real world~
"I have only one last thing to say to you professor..." Hermione once again purred and the professor who was quite clearly fighting his inner conscience
And yes,you guessed it.She burst into song (A/N MUHAHAHAHA IVE DESTROYED ABBA!)
*Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
*seduced by this girl, time to make a scene, dig it,the new potions queen*
*Friday morning the lights are low*
*The dreary dungeons,the place to go*
*Where you brews the right potions, getting in the swing*
*You stalk by,cape flying*
*Nobody likes this guy*
*Not even when they're.....hiiiiigh*
*But this little mudblood,thinks he's quite fine*
*She's in the mood for a brew*
(it was at this point that she made several suggestive eyebrow genstures and Snape that could even rival Draco Malfoy)
~Snapes Inner Monolgue~
i'm horny..horny horny horny baby...
~Back to the classroom~
*Now can you get a clue....*
I'm the new potions queen, likes them old,greasy and very shifty*
Potions Queen, feel the beat and the cauldrons heat,oh yeah*
Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
See this girl, time to make a scene, dig it the new potions queen*
*You're being a teaser,though you're turned on*
Snape buried his face momentarily in his hands as he went a rather unnatural shade of crimson
*Looking for help,but everyones gone*
*No I don't want another,only you will do*
*I'm in the mood for a brew*
*So get a clue*
"SEVERUS!" screeched a voice from the doorway
Professor Sprout,looking quite flushed and very angry indeed stepped into the classroom.Obviously not too pleased by the image of the potions master being pinned againts the wall by a young and attractive 7th year
"I thought you said you loved me and only me!" she yelled at the poor embarrassed man
"ummm...well...I" Snape spluttered
"Listen bitch" Said a very attitude filled Hermione
"Obviously you don't satisfy him anymore.If you did he wouldn't be with me right now would he?"
Sprout was speechless and looking like she was believing the head girls.Her face displayed a mixture of emotions.Despression and pure raging hate.
Hermione continued
"Maybe you should like lose some weight and quit smoking all that crack that everyone knows you have in your persona; 'herb garden' and learn to satisfy a man"
"Well I never!" Exclaimed Sprout
"Look can't you take a hint,fuck off"
With that Sprout glared at Hermione and slammed the door behind her,but made sure Hermione heard her mutter... "Just you wait until your next herbology class Miss Granger"
Snape had a pure look of disbelief and hoor on his face,but before he could say anything Hermione picked up where she had left off
*I'm the new potions queen, likes them old,greasy and very shifty*
*Potions Queen, feel the beat and the cauldrons heat,oh yeah*
*Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
*See this girl, time to make a scene, dig it the new potions queen*
"HERMIONE!!!!!!!"
Ron,Harry and Ginny had all burst through the door at once.Their fear,it seemed,had not been in vain.
Harry and Ron both stalked over to the pair in the corner and literally renched Hermione off Snape.Hermione immediately began to shreak insults and blasphmeys at them that i'm sure are too offensive to even utter upon these pages.Harry and Ron tried not to be offended and just laughed it off.Hermione however continued
"Now Hermione you know that that would be impossible,my mothers dead" Harry replied to one rather vial comment.
The boys began to drag the head girl out of the room,followed by Ginny.Professor Snape looked rather relieved despite his..erm..little problem.
Snape cleared his throat uncomfortable
"Uhh...20 points to Gryffindor for your help boys...oh and you too Miss Weasley"
The three Gryffindors who weren't shrieking and moaning were rather impressed.
The 4 of them headed up towards Gryffindor common rooms.The three sane ones were wondering how in the hell they were going to restrain Hermione.
"Don't worry" said Ron rather cheerfully
"You know Fred and George,their little pranks don't usually last too long.For now we should just not worry about it and just watch and laugh at all the people who are hounded by lustfilled admirers."
Unfortunately for Ron,he had a tendancy to regret things after he says them.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth,who came around the corner?Yes that's right...Malfoy.
"Ronnie!!!!" he squealed in delight
"Oh christ no...." Ron whispered as he went dead pale
Malfoy hugged ron and broke out into a little dance routin,worthy of the friggin backstreet boys.
*I can strut,I can sing.*
*I'm the next dark lord,you be my king*
*Hey boy,sit on my knee*
*On your Gryffindor tower make room for me*
*I gotta mansion with windows and doors*
*I'll show you mine if you show me yours*
It was a rather funny site really.The so called most evil youth in the wizarding world dancing all camp like and singing to Ron Weasley of all people about wanting him to sit on his knee,while at the same time Ginny and Harry were on the ground laughing their heads off while still trying to restraining Hermione who was trying to claw her way back down the the dungeons.Oh and Ron was of course standing like a stunned mullet and started gagging when Draco suggested that he should make room on his "Gryffindor tower" for him.
As Draco broke out into another dance routine,Ron made his escape and bolted towards Gryffindor Tower(A/N-the real one) and was follwed close behind by 2 laughing individuals and one screaming one who was yelling death threatas at everyone who passed.
"Why me!" Ron yelled and panted as he ran
"Why did I get bloody two after me!"
"Oh I dunno Ron,I guess your just irrisistable.A regular Mr. Charasmatic" Laughed Harry
"But they were both bloody boys!" Ron wailed as they finally reached the portrait hole
"Woodstock" Said Harry between fits of laughter
Ron entered,rather grumpy and Hermione was thrown in by Ginny
~Two Hours Later~
"Oh my god,oh my god,oh my god,oh my god" wailed Hermione as she rockeded back and forth
The effects of the chocolate had finally worn off and Hermione was dying from embarressment and self pity.
"I'm sure you have nothing to worryabout Herm." Harry said,trying to comfort her
"The whole school knows what Fred and George did and that your,and everyones actions were in no way your fault or anyone elses but those bloody two"
"I know Harry...it's just..." Hermione went red
"What is it" Ron inquired...getting a funny feeling the answer wasn't going to be good
"I kind of...well....you see...professor sprout walked in on us,and you know how theres something between the two of them and I kinda got jealous and...."
"Oh shit" whispered Ron
"What did you do!" exclaimed Harry
"I kind of called her a bitch,told her she was overweight and couldn't keep a man satisfied.Oh and i also told her to fuck off"
Ron and Harry looked at each other and burst into laughter,something that had happened a lot lately.
"You guys this isn't funny!What am I going to do?Sprout is going to kill me on Monday" Hermione wailed at the two
"Sorry Herm" laughed Harry
"You gotta admit though,the image of that is very funny"
Hermione put her head in her lap,wanting to crawl somewhere and die
"Come on" said Ron as he lifted her up reassuringly. "We'll figure this out.I'll tell you what.Lets just have a bit of chocolate and try and figure a way out of this together ok?"
Hermione smiled,despite the tears that were welling uo in her eyes.God forbid that she may fail a subject.
Ron smiled back
"That's my girl.Now come on,come have some choccie with me" he grinned as he unwrapped a chocolate and popped it into his mouth
"RON NO!!!" screamed Harry
But it was too late.Ron's eyes windened in horror as he realised what he had just done. His two friends crowded around him to see what the wrapper said.Ron,full of dread,slowly unrolled the wrapped..revealing the words....
"Rubius Hagrid"
Ron shreaked and passed out in a dead faint
A/N-Well that's another chappie guys :D Sorry I took so long to update..yes yes I know...i'm a lazy shite.Now I need to know guys,should I continue the story or leave it there?Please tell me by reviewing *hint hint nudge nudge say no more* and if you want the story to continue please give me some ideas i can use.I promise you will get full credit if I use any of them
The following songs are used in the chapter-
*Barbie Girl By Aqua (Snape is singing it)
*Dancing Queen by ABBA (Hermione singing)
*C'est La Vie by B*witched (Sorting hat and Draco singing)
*Everywhere by Michelle branch (Seamus singing) *All that she wants by Ace of Base (Dean singing)
Two very evil and very identical snickers came from within the darkened room.It was well past midnight.The pair looked over their work with proud satisfaction.Their creations were finished.
Fred and George Weasley both snickered again.
"They'll never know what hit em'" Whispered Fred
"Or at least it will be too late by the time they do.Is there enough for everyone?" whispered back
"Oh yes" Replied his brother. "Enough for every student and teacher,plus a few extra"
"Excellent"
Fred wrapped their bag of goodies up in an oversized brown paper bag and attached it to him and his brothers owl Elf.
"Thats a good boy elf" Smirked George as he stroked the bird lovingly.
"Take the entire bag to Hogwarts and distribut each individual goodie to whichever person it's meant for.Any left overs can just be put in the common rooms or in the great hall or something"
Elf hooted at the twins and flew out in window and into the night.
The pair grinned at each other.The next day at Hogwarts was going to be a very amusing one.
~The Next Day
Ron and Harry had both slept in late.Again.
They were both up the better half of the night discussing plans of attack on Slytherin in case they decided to get a little revenge on the Gryffindors for what they had done to Snape and Malfoy.
Luckily it was Saturday and so it wouldn't matter if they were late up...or so you would think.
"AHHHH!!!!Harry wake up!!!We're going to miss breakfast!!!" Screamed Ron in a panic
"What the bloody hell Ron,stop screaming,it isn't the end of the world" muttered Harry,still half asleep
Ron glared at his best friend. "Never let me hear you undermine breakfast like that again"
With that,Ron pulled Harry out of his bed and the pair dressed quickly.Neither of them saw the little present at the ends of their beds like everyone else in the school had.
They ran down to the Gryffindor common room.They would have ran out of the portrait hole but around them something rather odd was going on.
"What the bloody hell...." gasped out Ron
The few people in the tower were all.....singing love songs....at each other!
"The Slytherins...." Declared harry in a rather dark voice
It was about then that Parvati ran past and dropped a wrapper as she crash tackled Dean Thomas.Ron picked it up.
"Oh lord no" Muttered Ron in utter disbelief
"What Ron?What is it" Asked Harry
Ron showed him the wrapper.It was red and in the shape of a love heart.On the inside it read Dean Thomas.
"So what?" said Harry. "Still doesn't mean it's not Slytherin"
"Look again Harry" Ron replied
Harry leaned in further and in tiny gold writing he could make out some writing that looked rather like "G.F.W".
Harry groaned "Fred"
"And George" replied Ron,looking somewhat amused.That was until Neville appeared.
He took one look at Ron and fell down upon his knees.
"All that I want,is Rons baby..even if we are two boys...all that I want is rons baby..yeah" he sang with particular emotion.
Ron froze in pure horror.Harry burst into hysterics.
"RUN" yelled Ron,having to push a laughing Harry over to make him come back to his senses.They turned on their heals and fled to the girls dormitries.Hopefully it would be safe there.
"Come back soon Ronny darling!" cried Neville
Ron cried out in horror again and slammed the door shut and fell on the floor to catch their breath.
"Dear lord" gasped Harry
"I can't believe this" muttered a very put out Ron
"They are bloody prankster Geniuses them too,though i'd never tell em so.The person eats the chocolate or whatever was in the wrapper and they fall in love with whoever was wirtten on their."
"Ruddy Brillian" agreed Harry "Although quite scary"
"So THATS what happened" said the voice of someone quite invisible to both Ron and Harry
Ginny slid out from under her bed and walked over to the pair
"Ive been hiding out under there all morning.Ever since Filch asked me if I'd like a tour of his broom closet and chased me up the stairs"
Ron was nearly sick all over the floor.
"ugh and I thought Seamus was bad" Harry said,revolted.
The three of them sat in silence for awhile until suddenly Harry snapped to attention.
"Oh god...Ginny where's Hermione?"
"She went down to the dungeons.She said she had to pay Professor Snape a little visit about an extra credit assignment right after she......oh dear"
"AFTER WHAT?" screamed the two boys
Ginny shrank back from them a bit.
"......after she ate the chocolate"
"FUCK" yelled Harry
"SHIT" cried Ron
The three of them all got up and raced over to Hermiones bed.Sure enough there was an empty red wrapped on her pillow which read "Severus Snape".
Within 3 seconds they were all off down the stairs into the common room again.They ran towards the portrait hole,when suddenly harry crashed straight into Seamus.
"Sorry Seamus" said Harry quickly,eager to find Hermione
"Oh that's quite alright Harry" purred Seamus as he took a firm hold of Harry's shoulder
Harry squirmed uncomfortably.
"Erh,Seamus..are you alright?"
"Oh yes Harry i'm fine......" The Irish boy purred back before(as if on cue) burst into song
*Cause you're everywhere to me,"
*when I do divination its you I see"
*your everything I know that makes me believe*
*i'm a homo oooooo,i'm a homo*
He sang seductively at the petrified boy opposite him
"Oh hell no" yelled Harry as he broke free,swung the portrait open and dived out.Ron and Ginny followed,both quite amused by Seamus' little show
"Who's laughing now Harry" Ron grinned
"Shut up you" Harry repliedas they all headed down the stairs
On the way the encountered many love sick people beating out ballads.Including the sorting hat bouncing after an unfortunate and rather scared first year.
*Gotta put me on....hey hey hey*
*Listen to my song.....heeeeey*
*I can do all sorts of stuff.....hey hey hey*
*I'm hip,i'm buff.*
*I can put you in hufflepuff!*
Harry,Ron and Ginny couldn't help but snicker a little bit despite the possible crisis at hand.God knows what was going on in the potions room right now
~Meanwhile~
Professor Snape was alone in his dungeon spending this particularly beautiful Saturday morning doing what he did every weekend,having a good time cleaning out his cauldron and test tubes ready for Monday's lesson.
The potions master listened to see if anyone was coming.As far as he could tell,no one was.He decided to brave it and started singing to himself and whatever foul rodents were scurrying past the dark and dreary corners of the dungeon.If anyone had heard him,Severus would simply die,especially since he was singing his own version of a very well known muggle song that would embarrass him to death if anyone were to hear.And thank's to the Gryffindors he had,had quite enough embarrassment for one lifetime.
*I'm a potions man,part of the Slytherin clan*
*Life potions master,love life a total disaster
*I don't brush my hair,black is all I wear*
*Total lack of hygiene,my cauldron the only thing I clean*
He sang gruffly to himself
Suddenly there was a rather seductive voice from the doorway
"Come on Snapey,come and play with me" Sang the voice to the exact same tune as the professor was only seconds before.
Snape looked up,startled both because he had been caught in the act of doing something very un-snapish and because he could have sworn Hermione Granger was at the door of his room purring seductive words in his direction and making eyes at him.
"Miss Granger!What are you doing in here!" the mortified professor barked
"Oh nothing" Hermione said quite innocently
"Just you..." She finished with a wicked little grin
Snape started to walk backwards,away from the girl,but she only follwed until he was pinned up againts the dungeon wall.
"Miss...Miss Gran..ger...if this is your idea of some sick joke...I..I suggest that you stop it right now" Snape said,trying to sound full of authority,as per usual...but somehow it wasn't working.
"Oh this is now joke professor.This is very...very...serious" she smiled at him and she said each and every word slowly and teasingly
"Oh my god...." The professor said,horrorfied,looking for an escape root
~Snapes Inner Monologue~
She is only a student,she is only a student,she is only a student.fight severus you dirty old man.fight!
~Back in the real world~
"I have only one last thing to say to you professor..." Hermione once again purred and the professor who was quite clearly fighting his inner conscience
And yes,you guessed it.She burst into song (A/N MUHAHAHAHA IVE DESTROYED ABBA!)
*Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
*seduced by this girl, time to make a scene, dig it,the new potions queen*
*Friday morning the lights are low*
*The dreary dungeons,the place to go*
*Where you brews the right potions, getting in the swing*
*You stalk by,cape flying*
*Nobody likes this guy*
*Not even when they're.....hiiiiigh*
*But this little mudblood,thinks he's quite fine*
*She's in the mood for a brew*
(it was at this point that she made several suggestive eyebrow genstures and Snape that could even rival Draco Malfoy)
~Snapes Inner Monolgue~
i'm horny..horny horny horny baby...
~Back to the classroom~
*Now can you get a clue....*
I'm the new potions queen, likes them old,greasy and very shifty*
Potions Queen, feel the beat and the cauldrons heat,oh yeah*
Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
See this girl, time to make a scene, dig it the new potions queen*
*You're being a teaser,though you're turned on*
Snape buried his face momentarily in his hands as he went a rather unnatural shade of crimson
*Looking for help,but everyones gone*
*No I don't want another,only you will do*
*I'm in the mood for a brew*
*So get a clue*
"SEVERUS!" screeched a voice from the doorway
Professor Sprout,looking quite flushed and very angry indeed stepped into the classroom.Obviously not too pleased by the image of the potions master being pinned againts the wall by a young and attractive 7th year
"I thought you said you loved me and only me!" she yelled at the poor embarrassed man
"ummm...well...I" Snape spluttered
"Listen bitch" Said a very attitude filled Hermione
"Obviously you don't satisfy him anymore.If you did he wouldn't be with me right now would he?"
Sprout was speechless and looking like she was believing the head girls.Her face displayed a mixture of emotions.Despression and pure raging hate.
Hermione continued
"Maybe you should like lose some weight and quit smoking all that crack that everyone knows you have in your persona; 'herb garden' and learn to satisfy a man"
"Well I never!" Exclaimed Sprout
"Look can't you take a hint,fuck off"
With that Sprout glared at Hermione and slammed the door behind her,but made sure Hermione heard her mutter... "Just you wait until your next herbology class Miss Granger"
Snape had a pure look of disbelief and hoor on his face,but before he could say anything Hermione picked up where she had left off
*I'm the new potions queen, likes them old,greasy and very shifty*
*Potions Queen, feel the beat and the cauldrons heat,oh yeah*
*Lonely old man,no friends no wife,i'll give you the time of your life*
*See this girl, time to make a scene, dig it the new potions queen*
"HERMIONE!!!!!!!"
Ron,Harry and Ginny had all burst through the door at once.Their fear,it seemed,had not been in vain.
Harry and Ron both stalked over to the pair in the corner and literally renched Hermione off Snape.Hermione immediately began to shreak insults and blasphmeys at them that i'm sure are too offensive to even utter upon these pages.Harry and Ron tried not to be offended and just laughed it off.Hermione however continued
"Now Hermione you know that that would be impossible,my mothers dead" Harry replied to one rather vial comment.
The boys began to drag the head girl out of the room,followed by Ginny.Professor Snape looked rather relieved despite his..erm..little problem.
Snape cleared his throat uncomfortable
"Uhh...20 points to Gryffindor for your help boys...oh and you too Miss Weasley"
The three Gryffindors who weren't shrieking and moaning were rather impressed.
The 4 of them headed up towards Gryffindor common rooms.The three sane ones were wondering how in the hell they were going to restrain Hermione.
"Don't worry" said Ron rather cheerfully
"You know Fred and George,their little pranks don't usually last too long.For now we should just not worry about it and just watch and laugh at all the people who are hounded by lustfilled admirers."
Unfortunately for Ron,he had a tendancy to regret things after he says them.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth,who came around the corner?Yes that's right...Malfoy.
"Ronnie!!!!" he squealed in delight
"Oh christ no...." Ron whispered as he went dead pale
Malfoy hugged ron and broke out into a little dance routin,worthy of the friggin backstreet boys.
*I can strut,I can sing.*
*I'm the next dark lord,you be my king*
*Hey boy,sit on my knee*
*On your Gryffindor tower make room for me*
*I gotta mansion with windows and doors*
*I'll show you mine if you show me yours*
It was a rather funny site really.The so called most evil youth in the wizarding world dancing all camp like and singing to Ron Weasley of all people about wanting him to sit on his knee,while at the same time Ginny and Harry were on the ground laughing their heads off while still trying to restraining Hermione who was trying to claw her way back down the the dungeons.Oh and Ron was of course standing like a stunned mullet and started gagging when Draco suggested that he should make room on his "Gryffindor tower" for him.
As Draco broke out into another dance routine,Ron made his escape and bolted towards Gryffindor Tower(A/N-the real one) and was follwed close behind by 2 laughing individuals and one screaming one who was yelling death threatas at everyone who passed.
"Why me!" Ron yelled and panted as he ran
"Why did I get bloody two after me!"
"Oh I dunno Ron,I guess your just irrisistable.A regular Mr. Charasmatic" Laughed Harry
"But they were both bloody boys!" Ron wailed as they finally reached the portrait hole
"Woodstock" Said Harry between fits of laughter
Ron entered,rather grumpy and Hermione was thrown in by Ginny
~Two Hours Later~
"Oh my god,oh my god,oh my god,oh my god" wailed Hermione as she rockeded back and forth
The effects of the chocolate had finally worn off and Hermione was dying from embarressment and self pity.
"I'm sure you have nothing to worryabout Herm." Harry said,trying to comfort her
"The whole school knows what Fred and George did and that your,and everyones actions were in no way your fault or anyone elses but those bloody two"
"I know Harry...it's just..." Hermione went red
"What is it" Ron inquired...getting a funny feeling the answer wasn't going to be good
"I kind of...well....you see...professor sprout walked in on us,and you know how theres something between the two of them and I kinda got jealous and...."
"Oh shit" whispered Ron
"What did you do!" exclaimed Harry
"I kind of called her a bitch,told her she was overweight and couldn't keep a man satisfied.Oh and i also told her to fuck off"
Ron and Harry looked at each other and burst into laughter,something that had happened a lot lately.
"You guys this isn't funny!What am I going to do?Sprout is going to kill me on Monday" Hermione wailed at the two
"Sorry Herm" laughed Harry
"You gotta admit though,the image of that is very funny"
Hermione put her head in her lap,wanting to crawl somewhere and die
"Come on" said Ron as he lifted her up reassuringly. "We'll figure this out.I'll tell you what.Lets just have a bit of chocolate and try and figure a way out of this together ok?"
Hermione smiled,despite the tears that were welling uo in her eyes.God forbid that she may fail a subject.
Ron smiled back
"That's my girl.Now come on,come have some choccie with me" he grinned as he unwrapped a chocolate and popped it into his mouth
"RON NO!!!" screamed Harry
But it was too late.Ron's eyes windened in horror as he realised what he had just done. His two friends crowded around him to see what the wrapper said.Ron,full of dread,slowly unrolled the wrapped..revealing the words....
"Rubius Hagrid"
Ron shreaked and passed out in a dead faint
A/N-Well that's another chappie guys :D Sorry I took so long to update..yes yes I know...i'm a lazy shite.Now I need to know guys,should I continue the story or leave it there?Please tell me by reviewing *hint hint nudge nudge say no more* and if you want the story to continue please give me some ideas i can use.I promise you will get full credit if I use any of them