A/N-Hello boys and girls :D
I know that a few of you actually read my original ending to this fic and
for it was rather !@#$ and I feel that I am inclined to agree.So,by popular
demand,I have now written a proper ending to "Do It With Malfoy" and I
assure you it most certainly will be the ending,I don't want to drag the
story on too far.I am pretty sure that I will write other song fics though
so don't worry(or do worry) you're not getting rid of me that easily *grins
evily*
"Oh god oh god oh god" jittered a very paranoid Hermione Granger
"I'm going to fail this class.Then i won't be able to graduate.Then I'll end up up here for another whole year.Or worse,i'll be kicked out and i'll end up as a prostitute on some muggle street corner"
The trio were in Herbology,awaiting Professor Sprouts arrival.Or perhaps a better way to put it would be,dreading Professor Sprouts arrival.
"Come on Hermione,calm down.Everybody knows that almost everyone was under the influence of Fred and Georges chocolate on the weekend.Sprout can hardly blame you for what happened,It wasn't your fault." Offered Ron
"Ron's right Hermione.I mean no ones blaming him for turning up on Hagrids doorstep with a bouquet of posies,looking all smitten...although Hagrid did seem rather flattered behind the whole look of terror on his face" Remarked Harry with a grin
Ron clenched his teeth "You're not helping Harry"
Hermione sighed.She just knew that Sprout wouldn't be over Hermiones little outburst yet.
As if on cue,Professor Sprout stalked through the door in a rather Snape like fashion.As soon as she had stepped over the thresh hold she turned her head towards Hermione and gave her the most evil grin that a Hufflepuff could muster.
Hermione shrank back into her chair.
Sprout was just about to open her mouth to take points of Gryffindor (just as a beginning for her revenge on Hermione) when Professor McGonagall glided into the room.
"Attention please everyone,the headmaster wishes to see the entire school in the great hall immediately" The head of Gryffindor blurted out quickly,looking a tad worried
"I'm afraid that it seems to be rather important so do not dally about"
With that,she swept out of the room as quickly as she had swept out.
Professor Sprout glared,very put out that she didn't have a chance to get her revenge on that "nuisance of a Gryffindor" for stealing her Snapey poo.
Hermione thanked all the gods she could think of and jumped up to race out of the greenhouse.As she did,she found herself obligated to pass Professor Sprout.As she did,the very pissed off Herbology teacher hissed at her,
"Don't worry my little lovely,you'll get yours"
Hermione couldn't escape the room fast enough.
~In the great hall~
The Great Hall was alive with anxious chatter.Why did Dumbledore want to see everyone?Was there some sort of emergency?Had Voldermort returned yet again?
After the last of the students filtered in through the massive double doors,the headmaster rose and signaled for everyone to be silent.Suddenly the hall was as quiet as a tomb.Everyone waited for the headmaster to speak.
"I think it has come to not only mine,but every ones attention,that over the last few weeks the students of this school,and perhaps some who no longer attend,have been playing various....pranks upon one another.Pranks of which I am sure you will all agree are of the vocal variety"
"Oh so thats it" muttered Ron
"He got us all in here to tell us off"
This was also the general thoughts of most people in the hall
"Although these pranks have been amusing to most of us...."
Hermione happened to look up at the teachers table at this point,just in time to see Snape scowl
"It does however have to stop.It is beginning to cut into class time,which all of you,especially those in their 7th year cannot afford"
The students groaned.Even though the majority of them had at some point been horribly embarrassed by the singing,everyone was having a great deal of fun.
"Yes,yes I thought you would all react like that.That also indicates that the pranking probably will not stop just because I have asked you to.You are all simply having too much fun with it to stop."
The students perked up a bit.Maybe Dumbledore was giving them his blessing.They had quickly forgotten that just seconds earlier he had said that it had to stop.
"I'm afraid there is only one way to stop this.." Dumbledore continued,his all knowing eyes sparkling with amusement,which always meant trouble
Students and teachers alike were scratching their heads in confusement.What was Dumbledore playing at.
"It is time for all of you to get a taste of your own medicine"
And with that,Professor Dumbledore climbed up onto the teachers table,with suprising ease I might add,and whisked his wand from his robes.
"Sonorous"
"Oh Christ no" exclaimed Ron
"Something tells me that we're all going to be very scarred after this" muttered Harry
Unfortunately for him and the rest of the occupants of the great hall(not to mention everyone reading this) they had no idea just how scarred they were going to be.
"Something tells me that that's the point of him doing it,to scare it out of us" replied Hermione
Dumbledore began
*Baby, take off your cape, real slow.*
And oh yes,Dumbledore removed his cape
"Noooooo" wailed Harry
"For that love of god,not bloody Tom Jones"
*Baby, take off your shoes. I'll help you take off your shoes.*
He kicked his shoes off
*Baby, take off your dress robes. Yes, yes, yes.*
He took off one layer of robes.Everyone student screamed in terror
*You can leave your hat on.*
"AND EVERYTHING ELSE" screamed a very horrified Ron
Even though a lot of scarring stuff had happened in front of the eyes of the students and staff alike at the school,Dumbledores little show still enabled them all to be shocked and sickened.His plan was working
*You can leave your hat on.*
*You can leave your hat on.*
*Go over there, turn on that light. No, all the lights.*
"Please don't!" wailed Seamus
*Come back here, stand on the chair. Ooh, baby, that's right!*
Dumbledore accompanied this part of the song with some particular,shall we say....suggestive gestures
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" squealed a poor Hufflepuff girl as she fell on the floor in a dead faint at the pure scarring imagery Dumbledore was forcing into the students fragile young minds
*Raise your wand in the air, now shake it.*
Dumbledore continued his little strip tease by bending down and removing one of his socks and threw it at a poor unsuspecting 1st year Ravenclaw,who proceeded to squeal and run as far away from it as humanely possible
*You give me reason to live.*
"You're giving me a reason not to!" moaned Draco as he tried desperately to shield his eyes
Dumbledore merely gave him a taste of his own medicine by raising his eyebrows and winking at the Slytherin before he continued.
*You give me reason to live.*
*You give me reason to live.*
The other sock went flying.The crowd parted faster than lightenin from where it landed
*You can leave your hat on!*
*Suspicious minds are talking. That's right, they'll tear us apart.*
The ironic thing was that no one in the hall was talking.Wailing and screaming would probably be a better description.Except of course for professor McGonagall who actually seemed to be rather enjoying herself as she clapped along to the music.
*They don't believe in this love of ours.*
*They don't know what love is.*
The headmaster proceeded to perform a Michael Jackson moonwalk across the table.All muggle borns within the room groaned in agony.
*They don't know what love is.*
*I know what love is.*
*You can leave your hat on.*
*You can*
Dumbledore decided to tease them further and pretended to get ready to remove his last remaining outer robe.The whole school screamed only one thing in unison,well actually not the whole school....the ones that were crying hysterically couldn't shout.
"NOOOOOO" they all screamed
The headmaster chuckled
"Yes,I didn't think any of you would like that.Minerva do pick your jaw up of the ground."
The transfiguration teacher blushed and did as she were told.
"Now everyone" Dumbledore continued
"I am assuming that if you don't want a repeat display you will al behave yourselves from now on and stop with these vocal pranks?" His eyes twinkled with mischief
The whole hall was buzzing with agreement and apologies and people still exclaiming that they were blind.Most never wanted to hear another song again...ever.
The headmaster grinned.
"Well...just to make sure...."
Dumbledore grasped both sides of the robe.Before anyone could yell out in strangled protest he flung open the robes to reveal......
another layer of clothing.
The entire population of the hall sighed with relief.
"Next time you may not be so lucky" chuckled the old wizard
The famous trio looked each other
"NEXT TIME?????"
~The End~
Epilogue
Because of Hermiones little outburst at Sprout she failed herbology and took heavily to the butterbeer.After going through 45 grueling minutes of A.A meetings she cleaned herself up,beat the living sprout out of professor sprout and managed to not get expelled,by marrying Snape(we all know he was quite taken with her).They had 17 children and after the final one was born,Hermione went on to graduate.They lived greasily ever after
Draco revolted against his father by cutting off Lucius' precious golden hair.Lucius went on to die instantly due to the fact that his hair was his mortal life force.Without daddy to bug him anymore,Draco could fulfill his lifelong dream,to score with Harry Potter and star in many slashy fanfics created in the twisted minds of female Harry/Draco shippers.He did
Harry told Ginny to bugger off and moved in with Draco
Ginny cried and married Neville on the rebound.He never suspected a thing.Idiot.
Oliver Wood remained to be the sexiest Gryffindor ever to grace Hogwarts vast halls.Need I say anymore?
Ron keeled over and died.Nobody likes Ron.
All you fans of Ron are angry with me aren't you?Oh Alright!
Ron was found 3 weeks later half eaten by Alsations.It took Hermione several minutes to realise who the hell Harry was talking about when he owled her with the news.She never did like Ron.
Your all still angry aren't you?
FINE!
Ron lived happily ever after prancing throughout golden meadows with wood nymphs and singing gay and happy songs while he picked strawberries and wildflowers.
Seamus is still singing to Harry.When questioned by Dumbledore about how much of that chocolate he ate,he informed him that he is allergic to chocolate and doesn't have a clue what he is talking about.Oh and he also finished this sentence by singing "Hit me Harry one more time" quite loudly.
Harry and Draco have now gone into hiding
Pansy was so distraught over the loss of Draco that she ran off and married Lord Voldermort.Poor man.
Two years after Hermione and Snapes marriage they are now awaitng their 32nd child.They can afford it because Snape managed to make a fortune by selling all of his hair grease to a local fish and chip shop.
THATS ALL FOLKS
A/N-ok I know that was a really shite ending,and personally I liked the other chappies better,but hey thats life.This time Im serious about this being the last chapter.I will no longer add to this story.However I will write other stories and song fics in the future.Thanks heaps for reading and reviewing,you've been fantastic.Remember to keep reviewing and tell me what you thought of the ending :D
~Tegan
"Oh god oh god oh god" jittered a very paranoid Hermione Granger
"I'm going to fail this class.Then i won't be able to graduate.Then I'll end up up here for another whole year.Or worse,i'll be kicked out and i'll end up as a prostitute on some muggle street corner"
The trio were in Herbology,awaiting Professor Sprouts arrival.Or perhaps a better way to put it would be,dreading Professor Sprouts arrival.
"Come on Hermione,calm down.Everybody knows that almost everyone was under the influence of Fred and Georges chocolate on the weekend.Sprout can hardly blame you for what happened,It wasn't your fault." Offered Ron
"Ron's right Hermione.I mean no ones blaming him for turning up on Hagrids doorstep with a bouquet of posies,looking all smitten...although Hagrid did seem rather flattered behind the whole look of terror on his face" Remarked Harry with a grin
Ron clenched his teeth "You're not helping Harry"
Hermione sighed.She just knew that Sprout wouldn't be over Hermiones little outburst yet.
As if on cue,Professor Sprout stalked through the door in a rather Snape like fashion.As soon as she had stepped over the thresh hold she turned her head towards Hermione and gave her the most evil grin that a Hufflepuff could muster.
Hermione shrank back into her chair.
Sprout was just about to open her mouth to take points of Gryffindor (just as a beginning for her revenge on Hermione) when Professor McGonagall glided into the room.
"Attention please everyone,the headmaster wishes to see the entire school in the great hall immediately" The head of Gryffindor blurted out quickly,looking a tad worried
"I'm afraid that it seems to be rather important so do not dally about"
With that,she swept out of the room as quickly as she had swept out.
Professor Sprout glared,very put out that she didn't have a chance to get her revenge on that "nuisance of a Gryffindor" for stealing her Snapey poo.
Hermione thanked all the gods she could think of and jumped up to race out of the greenhouse.As she did,she found herself obligated to pass Professor Sprout.As she did,the very pissed off Herbology teacher hissed at her,
"Don't worry my little lovely,you'll get yours"
Hermione couldn't escape the room fast enough.
~In the great hall~
The Great Hall was alive with anxious chatter.Why did Dumbledore want to see everyone?Was there some sort of emergency?Had Voldermort returned yet again?
After the last of the students filtered in through the massive double doors,the headmaster rose and signaled for everyone to be silent.Suddenly the hall was as quiet as a tomb.Everyone waited for the headmaster to speak.
"I think it has come to not only mine,but every ones attention,that over the last few weeks the students of this school,and perhaps some who no longer attend,have been playing various....pranks upon one another.Pranks of which I am sure you will all agree are of the vocal variety"
"Oh so thats it" muttered Ron
"He got us all in here to tell us off"
This was also the general thoughts of most people in the hall
"Although these pranks have been amusing to most of us...."
Hermione happened to look up at the teachers table at this point,just in time to see Snape scowl
"It does however have to stop.It is beginning to cut into class time,which all of you,especially those in their 7th year cannot afford"
The students groaned.Even though the majority of them had at some point been horribly embarrassed by the singing,everyone was having a great deal of fun.
"Yes,yes I thought you would all react like that.That also indicates that the pranking probably will not stop just because I have asked you to.You are all simply having too much fun with it to stop."
The students perked up a bit.Maybe Dumbledore was giving them his blessing.They had quickly forgotten that just seconds earlier he had said that it had to stop.
"I'm afraid there is only one way to stop this.." Dumbledore continued,his all knowing eyes sparkling with amusement,which always meant trouble
Students and teachers alike were scratching their heads in confusement.What was Dumbledore playing at.
"It is time for all of you to get a taste of your own medicine"
And with that,Professor Dumbledore climbed up onto the teachers table,with suprising ease I might add,and whisked his wand from his robes.
"Sonorous"
"Oh Christ no" exclaimed Ron
"Something tells me that we're all going to be very scarred after this" muttered Harry
Unfortunately for him and the rest of the occupants of the great hall(not to mention everyone reading this) they had no idea just how scarred they were going to be.
"Something tells me that that's the point of him doing it,to scare it out of us" replied Hermione
Dumbledore began
*Baby, take off your cape, real slow.*
And oh yes,Dumbledore removed his cape
"Noooooo" wailed Harry
"For that love of god,not bloody Tom Jones"
*Baby, take off your shoes. I'll help you take off your shoes.*
He kicked his shoes off
*Baby, take off your dress robes. Yes, yes, yes.*
He took off one layer of robes.Everyone student screamed in terror
*You can leave your hat on.*
"AND EVERYTHING ELSE" screamed a very horrified Ron
Even though a lot of scarring stuff had happened in front of the eyes of the students and staff alike at the school,Dumbledores little show still enabled them all to be shocked and sickened.His plan was working
*You can leave your hat on.*
*You can leave your hat on.*
*Go over there, turn on that light. No, all the lights.*
"Please don't!" wailed Seamus
*Come back here, stand on the chair. Ooh, baby, that's right!*
Dumbledore accompanied this part of the song with some particular,shall we say....suggestive gestures
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" squealed a poor Hufflepuff girl as she fell on the floor in a dead faint at the pure scarring imagery Dumbledore was forcing into the students fragile young minds
*Raise your wand in the air, now shake it.*
Dumbledore continued his little strip tease by bending down and removing one of his socks and threw it at a poor unsuspecting 1st year Ravenclaw,who proceeded to squeal and run as far away from it as humanely possible
*You give me reason to live.*
"You're giving me a reason not to!" moaned Draco as he tried desperately to shield his eyes
Dumbledore merely gave him a taste of his own medicine by raising his eyebrows and winking at the Slytherin before he continued.
*You give me reason to live.*
*You give me reason to live.*
The other sock went flying.The crowd parted faster than lightenin from where it landed
*You can leave your hat on!*
*Suspicious minds are talking. That's right, they'll tear us apart.*
The ironic thing was that no one in the hall was talking.Wailing and screaming would probably be a better description.Except of course for professor McGonagall who actually seemed to be rather enjoying herself as she clapped along to the music.
*They don't believe in this love of ours.*
*They don't know what love is.*
The headmaster proceeded to perform a Michael Jackson moonwalk across the table.All muggle borns within the room groaned in agony.
*They don't know what love is.*
*I know what love is.*
*You can leave your hat on.*
*You can*
Dumbledore decided to tease them further and pretended to get ready to remove his last remaining outer robe.The whole school screamed only one thing in unison,well actually not the whole school....the ones that were crying hysterically couldn't shout.
"NOOOOOO" they all screamed
The headmaster chuckled
"Yes,I didn't think any of you would like that.Minerva do pick your jaw up of the ground."
The transfiguration teacher blushed and did as she were told.
"Now everyone" Dumbledore continued
"I am assuming that if you don't want a repeat display you will al behave yourselves from now on and stop with these vocal pranks?" His eyes twinkled with mischief
The whole hall was buzzing with agreement and apologies and people still exclaiming that they were blind.Most never wanted to hear another song again...ever.
The headmaster grinned.
"Well...just to make sure...."
Dumbledore grasped both sides of the robe.Before anyone could yell out in strangled protest he flung open the robes to reveal......
another layer of clothing.
The entire population of the hall sighed with relief.
"Next time you may not be so lucky" chuckled the old wizard
The famous trio looked each other
"NEXT TIME?????"
~The End~
Epilogue
Because of Hermiones little outburst at Sprout she failed herbology and took heavily to the butterbeer.After going through 45 grueling minutes of A.A meetings she cleaned herself up,beat the living sprout out of professor sprout and managed to not get expelled,by marrying Snape(we all know he was quite taken with her).They had 17 children and after the final one was born,Hermione went on to graduate.They lived greasily ever after
Draco revolted against his father by cutting off Lucius' precious golden hair.Lucius went on to die instantly due to the fact that his hair was his mortal life force.Without daddy to bug him anymore,Draco could fulfill his lifelong dream,to score with Harry Potter and star in many slashy fanfics created in the twisted minds of female Harry/Draco shippers.He did
Harry told Ginny to bugger off and moved in with Draco
Ginny cried and married Neville on the rebound.He never suspected a thing.Idiot.
Oliver Wood remained to be the sexiest Gryffindor ever to grace Hogwarts vast halls.Need I say anymore?
Ron keeled over and died.Nobody likes Ron.
All you fans of Ron are angry with me aren't you?Oh Alright!
Ron was found 3 weeks later half eaten by Alsations.It took Hermione several minutes to realise who the hell Harry was talking about when he owled her with the news.She never did like Ron.
Your all still angry aren't you?
FINE!
Ron lived happily ever after prancing throughout golden meadows with wood nymphs and singing gay and happy songs while he picked strawberries and wildflowers.
Seamus is still singing to Harry.When questioned by Dumbledore about how much of that chocolate he ate,he informed him that he is allergic to chocolate and doesn't have a clue what he is talking about.Oh and he also finished this sentence by singing "Hit me Harry one more time" quite loudly.
Harry and Draco have now gone into hiding
Pansy was so distraught over the loss of Draco that she ran off and married Lord Voldermort.Poor man.
Two years after Hermione and Snapes marriage they are now awaitng their 32nd child.They can afford it because Snape managed to make a fortune by selling all of his hair grease to a local fish and chip shop.
THATS ALL FOLKS
A/N-ok I know that was a really shite ending,and personally I liked the other chappies better,but hey thats life.This time Im serious about this being the last chapter.I will no longer add to this story.However I will write other stories and song fics in the future.Thanks heaps for reading and reviewing,you've been fantastic.Remember to keep reviewing and tell me what you thought of the ending :D
~Tegan