A/N and Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or anyone else. This. Is. Still. A. Par-o-dy. OK?

We also...borrowed...and messed up... a couple quotes from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet which we don't own either.

By Norbert For President and JestaAriadne

PS. Review!!!! Muahahaha!!!

The Only Way

by Norbert and Jesta

Two houses, both alike in dignity,

In fair Hogwarts, where we lay our scene,

From the ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean,

From forth the fatal dorms of these two foes,

A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life,

Whose misadventures, piteous overthrows,

Doth with their death bury their houses' strife.

Storms were raging once more, only this time there was a dread premonition in the skies. Two lovers clasped each other desperately on the edge of oblivion. The hungry sea raged below them, and as another flash of lightening rent the sky apart, they knew it was the only way.

'Oh Draco!' cried Ron, 'Draco! Wherefore art thou Draco! Deny thy house and refuse thy name! Or thou wilt not, only say the word and I'll no longer be a Gryffindor!'

Draco sobbed still harder, but shook his head, 'Nay, my love, 'tis the only way...'

'Will they - never accept us?' Ron's crimson hair was drenched not only by the storm, but by the tears of his one true love.

Draco gently kissed him. For one moment more, ecstasy reigned in Ron's troubled soul.

'Arms, take your last embrace, and lips, oh you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss, a dateless bargain to engrossing death,' wept Ron, as they moved closer to the cliff.

Harry, standing a short distance behind them, suddenly got the idea!!! 'HE'S GOING TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF!!!!!' he yelled in movie-anguish.

He was too late.

Their eyes never left each others' as they plunged into the writhing depths; stormy grey staring eternally faithful into brilliant sapphire that even the knowledge of death could not dull.

Ron leant forward to kiss Draco for one last time. 'Thus with a kiss, I die!' he murmured as the raging waves consumed them.

'My heart will go on!' yelled Draco, 'And on!'

'We're one step closer to heaven, baby!' cried Ron.

Their bodies entwined, they finally surrendered to storm tossed sea.

* * *

No one ever found the earthly remains of these two star-crossed lovers, but their souls lived on, together forever in eternal happiness.

And their houses, when they saw what they had done, came together in their grief and formed a new house, a greater house: GryffinSlyth.

For never was a story of more woe than this of Ronald and his Draco.

* * *

Epilogue: Harry

Harry stood on the cliff for a few moments more, a little puzzled by these events. Coming to the eventual conclusion that most other people knew better than him, he stepped forward.

Then, there was darkness.

Then, a voice.

Harry...Harry..

.

...yes?

Harry... why?

...why what?

Didn't they ever teach you about peer pressure?

...huh?

If you saw your friends jump off a cliff, would you do the same? Wait... don't bother to answer that one.

THE END

Moral: Beware of peer pressure!! Oh, and about the whole dying for love thing... um... think it through, OK?