Guilty Conscience (EVA mix)
Author: FLCO EX
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: First I did Eminem Parodies on Nadesico, now trying it on EVA. Hope you'll like it. Plz R&R.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is Evangelion, Shady Records. I'm broke as well, so don't sue.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meet Kensuke, fourteen years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to surf pornographic website.
("Kensuke: I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But he's bout to enter, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Kensuke: almost there, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Yui]
Alright, stop! (Kensuke: Huh?)
Now before you enter the website of adult pornography
and try to see some naked girlies
You better think of the consequence (Kensuke: But who are you?)
I'm Shinji's mother and your conscience

[Misato]
That's nonsense!
Go in and watch nude sluts and see some hardcore action
And take off your pants and do some masturbation
Go rub your dick quickly
You'll feel you're so heavenly till you shoot cum off and landed on your keyboard

[Yui]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll be disgusted with you
Think about it before you enter the site first
Look at the disclaimer, it says 18 years old and older

[Misato]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Watch some bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that clean?
Why you give a fuck if you get caught cos your fourteen?
Do you really think they gives a fuck if you have ASS-TEA-DEE?

[Yui]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (Kensuke: You're right!)
Not over this shit

[Misato]
Stop!

[Yui]
Drop the biscuit (Kensuke: I will!)
Don't even listen to Misato yo, she's bad for you

[Misato]
You know what Yui? I don't like your attitude..

{sound of static}

("Shinji: Ayanami, would come over to my house for some tea")
("Rei: Why are you inviting me over")
("Shinji: I just wanna know you better..")
("Rei: Is that it?")
("Shinji: Y...yeah, so would you come with me, please")
("Rei: Understood")

Meet Shinji, fourteen years old. ("Shinji: Please wait while I make tea")
After growing some backbone and invite Rei Ayanami over,
while making tea he found some drowsy pill on the kitchen
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shinji: If I...no, it's not right...")

[Misato]
Now listen to me, I know what you trying to think
and tell you what, don't be shy and slip this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..

[Yui]
Yo! You two are only fourteen years old
You both are still underage, that's not right.

[Misato]
Yo, look at her bush.. it look so ripe. (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there

[Yui]
Son, did you know Rei's constructed by my DNA?

[Misato]
Yeah, but with little content it's barely incest, haha!

[Yui]
Shit, you wanna get skinned alived by Gendo?

[Misato]
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.(Rei: Ahhh ahh uhhhh ahhh...)

{sound of static}

Meet Maya, a twenty-four year old NERV Lieutenant.
After making lunch for her lesbian lover,
she walks in the door of the doctor's office
to find Ritsuko in bed with another man.
("Ritsuko: Ahh uhh ahhh...")
("Maya: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Ritsuko: Maya!!")

[Yui]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Misato]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you still gay she became straigth and tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

[Yui]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?

[Misato]
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!

[Yui]
Alright Misato, maybe she's right Maya
But think about the your past relationship with Ritsuko.

[Misato]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab them?
Grab them by the throat, get their insurance and claim them?
That's what I did with Kaji, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who got trapped in an EVA??!

[Yui]
What'chu say?

[Misato]
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?

[Yui]
I'ma kill you bitchy fucker!

[Misato]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mrs Ikari? Mrs Y-U-I.?
Mrs. YI gotten trap in EVA Unit 1 only Shinji could go all the way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this girl not to be violent?

[Yui]
Cause she still young and have a long future ahead of her
Besides Ritsuko's insurance is WHAT?.. aw fuck it...
I change my mind, shoot em both Maya, get her insurance!

(Sound of a cocked pistol and two firing sounds)