Chapter 22 Torn Apart
Darkness had settled over Cate's household by the time Ethan went back to
school. Cate sat by herself as much as possible, wrapped in blankets, a
box of tissues nearby. Sirius and Lizzie took turns spending time with
Cate, Paige, and Jack to make sure nothing else plagued them.
"Come on Catie, dear." Lizzie said, shaking Cate lightly. "You have to
wake up, no matter how much you don't want to."
Cate sighed, and opened her eyes to look up at her mother from the couch
she had fallen asleep on the previous night. Slowly, she said, "I don't
know if I'd rather be asleep at all, though."
Lizzie sighed, her blue eyes filled with worry. She sat down beside her
oldest daughter, and stroked her hair. Cate squirmed uncomfortably and
moved away. She rejected all human touch at this point, though speech was
more common than it had been in the early stages of Bellum's death.
"Sweetheart... you've got to get up." Lizzie tried to coax. Cate sat
where she was and buried her face in her blankets, in tears again. Lizzie
had no luck with Cate. It was no use trying for her; Sirius was better at
it. "You always were more your father's child." She whispered, and pulled
the blankets off Cate to kiss her forehead.
Sirius stood watching at the foot of the stairs with Paige standing close
to him, and he cradled Jack in his arms. Lizzie left Cate and looked to
Sirius. Paige bit her lip, and stepped out to hug her grandmother.
"Is my mum going to be all right?" She asked softly. She felt Lizzie hug
her tighter, and could tell that she didn't know.
"Eventually, Paigie." Sirius answered for Lizzie. "It takes time."
"Sirius, go talk to her." Lizzie said sternly. "She needs you. She talks
to you."
Sirius looked at the mass of blankets on the living room couch that was his
daughter. He shifted Jack to his other side, and then looked at Paige.
Paige's eyes seemed to be pleading with him. She looked more like her
father than she did her mother, with her lighter colored brown hair and
deep brown eyes. There was no hint of golden flecks at the moment, and she
was completely serious, yet Sirius could sense the mischief that had once
lived in her. She reminded him of what he had been like when he was a
child when she was cheerful. These were just a few of the reasons she was
his favorite grandchild.
"Hold Jack." He said to Lizzie, handing over the baby. "Paige, if you'd
like to see her, I think Bridgett is in the basement."
Paige nodded, and walked slowly in the direction of the door that led to
the Quidditch Field of a basement. Lizzie sighed, and kissed him softly
before heading up the stairs with Jack.
Before him lie difficult tasks in its own right. He had to in some way
touch Cate's heart. He knew that only one person had ever seemed to get in
her heart before... but that one person was gone. He also knew that her
heart had been shattered, and if not careful of himself, he could end up
doing this too...
"Cate?" He asked softly. Cate peered out at him, lifting the blankets
from her face. "Nice to see you in the ranks of the living."
Cate didn't reply. She stared hard at him, her eyes were dark, as if
shutters behind them had been shut, letting no light in... Just as
Sirius's had been during his days in Azkaban and a few years after his
escape.
Miserable and sulking, Cate reminded Sirius of himself as well as Paige
did. She was like he was while in Azkaban. She had no will to live, but
there was something keeping her alive. Her unborn child. In Azkaban, no
one had a will to live. But Sirius had been different. He had been
innocent... and he had a mad fury within him to get out. To get out and
make better the lives of his friends... and their children.
"You remind me of myself." He finally said, voicing his opinion aloud to
Cate. Cate sighed, and her hard stare fell to a mournful gaze. Feeling it
was now safe to sit next to her, he took the seat next to her on the
couch. She didn't move away.
"How?" She asked softly. "How am I like you?"
Sirius could tell she was mocking him slightly, and he put a hand on her
shoulder. "I had lost all hope for life once too. I was alone, and in a
cold place. No one to comfort me, or even any soul at all to talk to. The
people I loved and cared for most were gone. But I had a small ray of
hope. I knew you were out there. Thoughts of you and your mother kept me
alive.
"I knew Harry would be all right... but Lily and James were gone. All I
could hope for was that you and Lizzie escaped that excuse for a man...
"There was nothing I could do. Day after day, I sat there, like you
are..."
Cate stared at him for a moment in wonder. She bit her lip, and replied
coldly, "I can't break free from my prison. My prison is my own body.
It's not that easy... when you've loved someone nearly 17 years, and
suddenly that person is gone. We all know that I'd have killed myself too,
if Bellum had not chosen his last words so carefully, and if I were not
pregnant. My own mind is eating away at itself, torturing me with painful
memories every hour. I've got no escape, not even sleep!"
"But could you do that, Cate?" Sirius said softly. "If you weren't
pregnant, would you leave Jack, Paige, Felicity, and Ethan to grow up
without any parents at all? Jack would have no memories of you, and if so,
they'd be very vague. Could you do that, Cate?"
Cate did not reply. She looked again at Sirius, as if she hated him with
all her might. His eyes stared into hers, and she turned away, unable to
face her own reflection in them. "It all would have been better if I had
never been born! Everything would have been different! You- you'd be with
mum happily... and Bellum would still be alive! Meagan would go happily
about her life, nothing to constantly block her path to her own greatness.
No one would have to suffer... If I had never even been born!"
"Oh, Catie!" Sirius cried, moving closer to her, and wrapping his arms
around her. He kissed her forehead, and let her sob freely on his
shoulder.
"That's not true... No matter what, everyone suffers. Your presence
doesn't change that. I know that things wouldn't be as you thing they
would be. You being born was the best thing that could have happened! And
Bellum, he'd probably have been killed on his sort of secret mission. Your
children! You have beautiful kids; beyond all reason... look at them
once, Cate. Each little fiber of them all is part of you and Bellum... I
want me to look me in the eyes now, and tell me that everything would be
better off if you had never been born."
"I can't!" Cate sobbed, her face still buried in his arms. "You win. Not
only now am I lonely, but I'm stupid too! Now I'm kept on the planet with
the knowledge that it was a good thing I was born. So it was a good thing
I was a killer... I'm sure the world could do without me."
"No." Sirius whispered. "It couldn't. I couldn't! Your mother
couldn't! Or your kids, or my kids! People do love you! I'm living
proof."
"But everything is taken from me. Anyone I love is taken from me. It's
probably best that you stay as far away as you possibly can. You'll
probably be next to go..."
"No Cate... I swear on my parents' graves, that nothing else will happen
to you or your loved ones."
"Don't make a promise you can't keep." Cate sniffled.
"I didn't... just trust me."
Cate slowly drifted off to an uneasy sleep, while Sirius ran his hands
through her hair. He suddenly felt sleep coming on, and painful thoughts
were arising in the back of his mind... Slowly conquering all... He lay
his head on top of Cate's and drifted off as well....
"Noo! Please! It wasn't me! You can't--" shouted a young man with dark
brown hair, dressed in crisp gray robes. His sentence was cut off short
due to him being slammed into the wall. He turned around, to face the
people that had put him in this place.
"Speak not, Sirius Black, servant of the Dark Lord. Get comfortable, and
enjoy your permanent residence. All that belonged to you has been taken
care of. You took care of the rest, selling your friends..."
Sirius shouted, and looked at the face of Barty Crouch. Crouch grinned a
wiry grin, and closed the jail cell, and spoke to the Dementors on either
side of him. "Watch him closely. Treat him no better than the rest of
these beings in the wretched dump. No more than the necessary meals. Make
sure he suffers. No visitors, not that anyone would care to ever visit
him."
At that, Crouch turned to leave. Sirius had hold of the bars, and was
shaking with anger; he managed to say, "Then take care of my remaining
friends and their children!"
Crouch stopped suddenly, and wheeled around to face Sirius. Sirius was
breathing heavily, trying to ignore the presence of the Dementors. "You
have no friends." Crouch said shortly. Then he left.
Turning around, so the Dementors were out of his view, Sirius slumped down
against the wall. The fortress of Azkaban was an awful place. He was sure
that his cell was the worst in the entire prison. The walls were stained
with blood, and the floor was covered in layers of dust, crawling with
bugs, the pavement uneven. If the appearance was awful, then the sounds
were unbearable. People were moaning, crying, and sending piercing screams
into the cold air. There was rattling of chains, and the sounds of people
in pain.
Then there was the smell. Death's scent was all around. He could smell
it, as he never had before. It wreaked, and made his stomach churn.
People were dying, whether or not they deserved to. He already longed for
a breath of fresh air!
But he longed for his friends even more. His last memory of the Potters
was painful. They knew that something was going to happen; Lily always had
a sense for that sort of thing. He knew it too. He had hugged them all
before he left... left them for good.
He hadn't seen Lizzie and Cate in more than a year. He had gotten no
letter, or done anything at all. Lizzie had told him not to, and he had
heeded her. What was the matter with him? The plight of his friends was
entirely his fault. He had caused this... And every single day, without
fail, these were the memories that haunted him for the next 13 years....
"I can't endure this!" Sirius thought. He wasn't sure if he was talking
aloud or not. Whatever the case, he was sure the Dementors could hear his
thoughts anyhow. "There's no cause to my life... Locked in Azkaban
forever. The Marauders are broken... Forever. Lizze and her baby are
gone... Harry's off to live with Muggles. They all hate me for sure now!
That bastard, Peter! What did he ever have against us! Lily and James are
dead... Lord knows where Meagan is, hating me off by herself. Remus has
no one to understand him; hatred has probably got to him too. Lizzie...
dragged off to America, little Cate along with her. There's nothing I,
Sirius Black can do. I'm in a mess that not even the Marauders united
could get out of... What's become of your life, Sirius?"
He pounded the floor with a fist, and made the mistake of looking at a
Dementor. Tall, dark and hooded, something about it pierced his soul.
Painful memories filled his head, and he fell into a trance of a sort.
For an hour exactly, he stared at it. It would have been longer, but food
was brought to his cell. Pushed through a tiny flap, it looked as
appetizing as mud did. Was it fit for human consumption at all? The water
was brown, and had small particles floating about in it.
Stricken by hunger, he ate it anyway, nearly retching. He could starve
himself to death... that would end all the pain. It might make everyone
happy, to know that he would be gone forever. It was his entire fault.
His fault he trusted Peter, and that he listened to Lizzie about keeping
silent. He had lost his friends forever.
A sudden urge overcame him, and he threw the plate at the wall. To his
displeasure, it didn't shatter; it was metal. It also looked as if it had
never been washed. He was alone in his dark cell, no window, no light,
except past the Dementors. All he could do now was sleep. Sleep away his
pain...
"Don't worry young lad!" Shouted a heavy voice from somewhere else in the
prison. "The first day is always the worst!"
He highly doubted that things would ever improve. But he mad a silent vow
to himself that he was going to live. He was going to hope for a miracle:
to get out. Then he would right all the wrongs that all led back to him,
though he did not do them directly. He, Sirius Black would try as hard as
he could to live.
Sirius woke, to find himself exactly where he had been when he dozed off.
Cate was still asleep, and breathing softly. She looked peaceful, not
troubled. He dared not move and wake her. So he lay his head back on hers
and pondered how he'd get her out of this mess...
~*~
Bellum ran his fingers through his hair, which felt rather disgusting. He
didn't feel like it was all real, but once he touched himself, he was as
solid as he had ever been. He could recall dying, and Cate's actions and
expressions.... but he remembered very little after that. He didn't know
how he got to where he was.
But those were not the thoughts that tore at him the most. He was still in
thought about his ghost situation. Staring out at the endless stars as if
looking for help, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It had
always been a nervous habit of his, and it reminded him of how Cate always
smiled at him, and found a way to calm his nerves. But how would Cate
react if he were a ghost? Bloodstained robes, his throat torn open...
would she want him around her and the children?
"You can't stay here forever." A soft female voice echoed, and Bellum
jumped. He then turned to face Rowena Ravenclaw, who seemed so young and
yet so wise. "I know you wish for advice on the affair, and your heart
deeply yearns for your life back. But you can't remain here forever,
Bellum Pugnare. I hate to push you in haste towards a decision, but it is
necessary."
"I understand." Bellum sighed. "No matter what I do, it'll break Cate's
heart. If she sees me like a ghost, and like--- this... I don't know if I
can do it. I'll forever be a ghost. Or if I don't, she'll never see me
again..."
Ravenclaw's hazel eyes were filled with sympathy for him. She took his
hand, and squeezed it lightly. "Her heart is already broken." She
whispered. "I feel deeply for Cate more than any other heir... and I
believe that Gryffindor secretly does too."
She smiled at him. "He spent so much of his time making sure this didn't
happen to Meagan... that he let it happen to Cate. We only have so many
eyes, and even less hearts here. But it couldn't be helped. Cate is much
more like Gryffindor than she is like me... But I believe that she mirrors
each of the Founders, even if she may be naught but Gryffindor's and mine
heir."
Bellum looked at her. She was much more wise than he was, though she
seemed determined to make him understand. She squeezed his hand again.
"But I also had another heir to watch, and sadly, my eyes were mot upon
Cate. By the time we'd really started to notice her change, it was too
late. But we had help with her. Do you know who helped? Who tamed her
heart, and brought good virtues again to her mind?"
This Bellum understood. It had all fallen into place, and he replied,
"Me. I did."
"Without you, no one would know what could have happened. My gathering
though, is that it would have been evil. She fell madly in love with you.
You touched her heart as no one else had. It's our fault. We kept no
watch on her... she suffered all through her childhood. She felt
forgotten, and indeed she was. We failed as Founders to forget her."
Ravenclaw bit her lip again. "But times were hard, when she was born.
James and Lily Potter had been killed, Sirius was behind bars, Peter had
gone badly, and Meagan was angry. She didn't know what to do with herself
once all her friends except Marykate and Lupin had disappeared. Her life
was like Cate's, but not as extreme... nonetheless, we watched her. Like
hawks. Trying to prevent her path to the dark side, which she very well
could have gone down... we let our fear happen to Cate. Nothing could
change her childhood. We made an error of immense greatness."
Bellum nodded. Ravenclaw had more to say though, and she continued on.
"Cate's life was a wreck, and it was just beginning to mend itself, and we
all sighed a sigh of relief. Then she suddenly snapped. I should have
taken note what happened when the Four Founders were united. We didn't get
along well, except Gryffindor and I. Hufflepuff kept to herself, working
brilliance in her own ways, while Slytherin fought many wars of words with
Gryffindor. We had originally tried to keep ALL our heirs away from each
other... no matter to which person. Cate and Meagan didn't click. So she
snapped... Once again, it was a blunder on our part."
"Cate looked for people to blame, right away. Her first thoughts were of
Sirius, for not being there. Then she blamed her mother, for dying, Jacob
James whom was not an innocent man though, and for the majority... Meagan.
She blamed everyone... Everyone but us. We really are the only ones to
blame. We had the power to stop it before it started, and we did not...
"There are other things you do not know of Cate... She was sneaky, and had
been acting on raw emotion. In her days as the Dark Angel of Light, she
also took the blood of the Slytherin Heir, and the Hufflepuff heir, and
added them in her own bloodstream. That alone though does not make her an
heir to Slytherin and Hufflepuff... She only has the blood, as do you
children, without their knowing. She also has the powers. The balance in
her life is gone, and we're going to try our best to help her... But if we
fail... she'll be unstoppable, once she realizes she has these powers.
Then no one. I cannot stress the fact that no one at all can hinder her
grip on the world... and on the Heavens. She'll rule over us. Even in
death, those she hates will not escape her wrath."
Ravenclaw looked desperately at Bellum. Again, he understood, but
Ravenclaw felt further need to stress the fact that Cate needed him more.
She waved a graceful hand and a crystal orb appeared. Bellum managed to
bring himself to look inside. For the first time since his death, he
beheld an image of Cate. She was sobbing in her bed again, and she was
holding the knife.
"I understand more than I ever wanted to." Bellum said. "So I've got to go
back."
"I thought you'd decide that." Ravenclaw sighed. "My speech was not
wasted... You are the fifth person to ever know this. Just Gryffindor,
Hufflepuff, Slytherin and myself are the other four that know. No one else
knows, as far as we can tell... let it be a notion to you that you must do
your part, which I believe could never be easier for Cate. All you have to
do is love her... and be there for her. Gryffindor didn't want me to tell
you this... he has pride, which is bruised greatly by our blunders. So
please, tell no one of it. I beg this of thee, Bellum Pugnare."
"You have no worries... I'll keep it secret." Bellum said. "But I suppose
I have to see Gryffindor now, so he can properly show me how to be a
ghost..."
"I bid thee farewell, Bellum Pugnare, though something tells me I'll see
you again. Good tidings I hope you bring to the world."
Bellum tried to smile, but the muscles in his face wouldn't allow it. He
looked down, and a thought came to him. "Excuse me, but I think that the
mistake wasn't bad." He paused, and Rowena Ravenclaw looked him in the
eyes, her own hazel eyes puzzled. "If nothing had ever happened, I never
would have met Cate. And no matter what, you can't prevent everything.
Sooner or later, you'd have a powerful heir. It's fate. You can't change
it."
Ravenclaw sighed. She pulled Bellum in and hugged him. "Well, Cate is
lucky. She had you. Not everyone is blessed with one so great." She
released him from her hug. "Gryffindor is waiting. He'll be here soon.
I must go. Again, I bid thee farewell, my doubts are gone."
Bellum looked at her, before she disappeared into the endless starry sky.
She was tall and slim, with long light brown hair. Her hazel eyes looked
upon him, and she nodded. Then she was gone.
~*~
Felicity looked to her left. Malicia had taken her to a dark passage deep
in the underground of Hogwarts. She wondered even if the Black twins knew
it existed. Blick was behind her, holding on tightly to her sleeve. He
didn't trust the place.
Malicia's wand was lit, but Felicity was looking about the barren walls of
the passage. When Malicia stopped, she nearly bumped into the door in
front of her. Blick stepped on her heels, and gasped.
The door was of an intricate stone design, with Snakes concentrated around
an image of Salazar Slytherin. Felicity thought of the Chamber of
Secrets. But this couldn't have been it. From what she had heard, it was
in a bathroom somewhere...
"Ridalo Canthem." Malicia said softly, and the door opened, dust and dirt
falling. It had been ages since it had opened, probably even centuries.
"Come on Felicity, Blick. Follow me."
Felicity and Blick followed her, down a passage so dark, not even Malicia's
wand brought light to it. They were walking in the dark. But not for
long, as Malicia came to a halt. She whispered something inaudible to
Felicity and Blick, and a green mist engulfed them.
Felicity swayed, as the mist circle her. But was it the mist that was
circling, or she? She couldn't tell, but the dark passage was fading away,
and a new scene was painting itself before her eyes.
She was sitting in a green velvet chair, Blick and Malicia in identical
ones next to her. Malicia spoke calmly to her. "My father will be here
soon."
Blick's eyebrows were raised, and he looked eagerly around the room. There
were little statues, and books on shelves that looked interesting to him.
He couldn't wait to look around this place, wherever it was.
Felicity sat silently, something nagging at her thoughts, though she
couldn't put a finger on what it was. Her thoughts were of her father, and
how she missed him. She hated Ariana and her family, for what her mother
had done.
But the door swinging open, and Lord Voldemort entering interrupted her
thoughts. His red snakelike eyes were upon her, and he walked slowly
towards her.
"Felicity Rose Pugnare." He hissed, his voice high and shrill. Felicity
looked calmly at him, and nodded.
"Yes, that's who I am." She said.
"Adam Theodore Blick." Voldemort hissed, turning to Blick.
"And that's me." Blick replied, just about as calm as Felicity.
"Welcome, children... to my home. I believe Malicia has brought you for a
reason." He looked at Felicity. "I know for what reason, young one."
Felicity nodded, biting her lip. "I knew your mother well." Voldemort
said suddenly to her.
"I know." She replied. "Though I will be more loyal than she was. I'm not
entirely like her."
"I can tell, dear girl." Voldemort said, his lips curling into a thin
smile. "Welcome Felicity Pugnare, and Adam Blick. It is a weekend. You
will stay the night here."
~*~
Meagan stood outside the door to the Pugnare house, wondering if it was
safe to go in. She had the small package Bellum gave to her, and she was
going to give it to Cate.
"Oh, please just let her be asleep or something." Meagan prayed, knocking
on the door. A few seconds later, Sirius answered it.
"Hello Meagan." he said, giving her an odd look. "What brings you here?"
"I need to see Cate. I've got something for her."
Sirius sighed. "She's quite silent today. Come on in."
Meagan noticed that Sirius looked quite like he had been taking some
emotional beating too. He looked older, despite the strange Black Curse.
She followed him to the living room, where Cate was sitting in a chair,
wrapped in blankets, staring at the wall. Sirius left the two alone.
"I can't think of anything awful to say." Cate said quietly. "And I can't
curse you, and I don't have any strength to throw anything."
Meagan stared. "Hello Cate." She said, ignoring her comments. "I'll keep
things short for you. I've got a package for you."
Cate looked at her, narrowing her eyebrows. Meagan handed her the little
package, and started to explain before Cate opened it. "It's from Bellum."
She said. Cate's eyes flickered, and she looked at Meagan again, her eyes
glinting gold. She looked ready to kill her.
"Did you see him?" She demanded, suddenly looking murderous.
"Yes. He told me to give you this." Meagan said, backing away slightly.
"Gryffindor talked to me. Bellum asked me to give this to you."
Cate still looked at her in an insane manner. "Did he say anything else?"
She asked, fingering the package.
"Just that he loves you. And he misses you. He wants you to take care of
the baby."
Cate was crying again. His last words to her echoed through her mind
again, haunting her. Cate wiped the tears from her eyes, and said to
Meagan, "Thank you."
"No, don't thank me." Meagan sighed. "There's nothing much I can do." She
bit her lip, and stepped forward, to pat Cate on the back. "But I wish
there was."
Cate didn't responded. She was staring at the package, debating on whether
or not to pen it. Would its contents just make her cry harder, and miss
Bellum more? She didn't see how it could comfort her any.
For a few moments, Meagan sat in a chair near Cate, watching her sadly.
Her heart was full of sympathy, and she wished dearly that she could do
more. Finally, she felt it was time to leave. Sirius led her out the
door, sighing when she hugged him, and told him she wished everything would
be okay...
"We can hope..." He thought to himself. "It's all we've got."
~*~
Bellum was alone in the endless starry sky for a few minutes. He didn't
know if he was left alone to gather his thoughts, or if Gryffindor was
still just coming. He wondered if Cate had opened her package.
"Greetings, young man." said a deep voice from behind him, and he jumped
slightly, and then turned to face Godric Gryffindor.
"Well, I'm really not that young." He said, feeling like a fossil at the
moment.
"Well you haven't been around for over a thousand years, have you?"
Gryffindor smiled.
"I guess you've got a point there." Bellum shrugged. "You wanted to see
me?"
"Yes..." Gryffindor said, taking a seat in the middle of the air. Bellum
did the same. "Before you become a ghost, there is more you should know."
"More than what Ravenclaw told me?"
"Indeed yes!" Gryffindor laughed, looking at his surprised expression.
"But you've got that down very well, for one who isn't an heir at all...
So you're going to be a ghost."
"That's the plan." Bellum shrugged. Gryffindor reminded him slightly of
Dumbledore.
"Understand now that you will forever be a ghost. Until the end of time,
unless something interferes, and changes this. You cannot eat or drink.
You are also not going to be able to touch living beings. You will not be
solid, and you will merely slide through a being. However, though I never
understood this part much, you can pick up objects..."
"Yes. I understand." Bellum nodded. If he didn't understand all the
ghost business, he figured he'd pick it up later, as he was going to be a
ghost forever.
There was a moment of silence, and Bellum watched Gryffindor, who appeared
to be deep in thought. Bellum wondered what he could be thinking about.
There were too many possibilities... He could very well have been thinking
about paper clips for all he knew.
"Bellum, why did you never use your powers?" Gryffindor asked suddenly.
Slightly taken aback, Bellum's eyes widened, and he replied, "I- I really
don't know." He paused for a second to think, and then he remembered
everything. Why he barely used his powers. "They controlled me. When I
used them, there was an incredible feeling that made me want to use them
more. I didn't want to become like- like... well, I didn't want to be the
next Evil Overlord."
"That was wise." Gryffindor nodded. "Very few people can surpass those
small feelings. You never even spoke of them...."
"Not even to Cate." Bellum finished. "I showed her a few. She like the
rain." He remembered. "I made it rain for her. Then I felt the need to
control the weather for a week before I finally stopped."
"And?"
"I destroyed that Orb." He sighed. "The power to destroy the
indestructible. It just crumbled there in my hand. I didn't do anything
after that... Cate knows I have that power."
Bellum sighed. As long as he was telling Gryffindor things he already
knew, he might as well continue on. "And I've used other ones on Cate."
"For your daughter Paige." Gryffindor smiled.
"Yeah..."
"You can make people think what you want them to think. That's what you
did to Cate for that situation. Made her believe it was a dream..."
"Precisely. I felt bad for Paige. That little Potter girl is her best
friend. I didn't want her to lose Nita. Not just because Cate's rival is
Meagan."
"And your other powers?"
"No one knows." Bellum said, hanging his head. "Except me."
"I do." Gryffindor smiled. "You would have made a very fine heir
yourself. You have no desire for power. But keep in mind that your
children have your powers too. They were passed on."
"I know." Bellum said, looking up at Gryffindor. "Paige doesn't know it,
but when she was little, about two, she changed into a dog and back.
Scared the living hell out of me. I didn't know what to do about it. So I
didn't tell Cate. Cate doesn't know either."
"All your children have changed at one point or another. Even Jack. Soon
Paige and Ethan will discover what they can do for themselves..."
"Ethan's almost seventeen." Bellum sighed. "In a year. Then he'll have
the powers I have, and the ones Cate has. It will be his choice to use
them or not."
"The power to shape-shift..." Gryffindor mused to himself. "It can be used
for good, but even more for evil." He looked at Bellum. "Watch your
children. They'll have power they don't know what to do with. But watch
Jack and Paige. They'll both become great. We're already watching
Felicity. She's troubled. She's got Cate's temper, and it's in action.
But Jack and Paige will do great things. Remember that."
"I will." Bellum said, wondering what Gryffindor meant by great.
"But it's time for you to leave... Farewell!"
Bellum found that he was changing. He felt lighter. His bones
disappeared, and his skin was tingling. Soon he white. Ghostly white.
And he was spinning in rapid circles, as if being sucked down a drain...
~*~
Cate tugged softly at the strings around the package. It was a small box,
wrapped shabbily in brown paper, the strings being twine. It didn't weight
much at all, and Cate wondered what was inside, though she wasn't quite
brave enough to open it.
She stared at it, while Sirius came in to take a look. "Catie?" He asked.
"What've you got?"
"Package." Cate replied slowly. Sirius said no more of it, but he watched
her, his dark eyes wandering from Cate's tear-streaked face to the small
brown paper wrapped package.
Cate stood up suddenly, shaking off the blankets, revealing her black
robes. Black was all she wore these days. Not that anyone could blame
her, she was still mourning.
"I'm going to open this with Bellum," said Cate sadly to Sirius.
Sirius nodded. He knew where she was going... the cemetery. She visited
often, crying over Bellum's grave. He hated to watch it, as it brang him
to tears. He'd never had much of a chance to visit his friends' graves.
Before Cate could disappear, He hugged her tightly and kissed her
forehead. Cate wiped her teary eyes and vanished.
~*~
"Paige?" Nita's voice echoed in the back of Paige's head. "Paige?"
"Yeah, I'm still alive. Thanks for making sure." Paige responded, shaking
her head. She was sitting alone in her room, looking at an old photo
album. She would have laughed as she watched a picture of her father
chasing her around with his shoe in hand, trying to get the other from
her... but she didn't have enough energy to laugh, or even feel like it.
"Paige, do you want to talk?" Nita's voice asked.
"Well, I'm talking now, aren't I?"
"I mean face-to-face."
"I suppose. Now that my mum's such a mess she won't care..."
"No, Paige!" came Nita's frustrated reply. "You're my best friend, and
it's what best friends do. They help each other through hard times."
Paige sighed. She appeared beside Nita in her room of the Potter house.
"Now what?" She said, looking Nita in the eyes. "What is there to talk
about?"
Nita shook her head, and hugged Paige. "I wish everything were the same." She said, feeling her eyes well with tears in sympathy for her friend. Paige dropped her photo album, which she hadn't noticed had been with her the whole time. "What cha got there?" Nita asked as brightly as possible. "Oh, just a photo album." Paige shrugged. "Of my family. It starts with pictures of my mom and dad as kids in the beginning... and then towards the end there are pictures of me... and my other siblings." Nita forced a smile, and flipped the book to the beginning. On the cover was a family picture from last Christmas. It seemed that Cate had gotten everyone to get along for one nice portrait. Even Paige forced a smile as Jack gave Felicity's long dark brown hair a good tug. Felicity toppled over backwards, knocking over Ethan, who was smoothing out his hair. Paige in the picture merely laughed, and Jack looked delighted. "Those were the days..." Paige muttered. "I wish they still were." Nita added, flipping the page. The next few pages were a trip to Cate's past. Cate was just a cute little girl quite like Paige, shyly waving at a camera. It was taken in a school, probably in her first or second year. The only other childhood pictures of Cate were of her as a small baby... Bellum had a more plentiful supply of photos. Nita and Paige looked through them silently, not saying much. At last, when they were through with the whole album, Nita said to Paige, "I think you look like your dad. But you look like your mum did when she was little, if that makes any sense a all..." "Yeah... it sorta does." Paige shrugged. "Felicity looks more like my mum than I do though." "I think your mum is pretty. I'd be proud if I looked like her." Paige rolled her eyes. "Everyone says something like that." She smiled. "But I hate Felicity. She's trying to be my mum totally, if you get what I mean... But I don't see why she'd want that. There's nothing more that my mother regrets than her evil days..." "She doesn't seem so bad." Nita shrugged. "Sure, she's a little depressed, but she's had a hard life. My mother makes it sound like Cate is something from the Underworld... But they're just rivals." "Mine thinks like that too." Paige looked even sadder at this moment. "I wish they got along. I wish they were best friends! Then we'd get to see each other ALL the time... it would make my life easier... and if mum had a best friend, it'd make her life easier too..." "I know." Nita replied, flopping backwards on her bed. "But the world just doesn't work our way." The rest of their lives, Paige and Nita would remember that comment. The world never did seem to spin in their favor... It was as if it were trying to dump them off, as harshly as possible. "Well, I suppose I'd better go home." Paige said after a bit. She stood up. "Nita... thanks for being here for me. I feel a little better now that I've talked to you." "Hey, that's what best friends are for..." "See you later." With that, Paige disappeared. ~*~ Cate was on her knees on the ground in front of Bellum's grave. She traced over his name with her fingers. The letters glowed gold, then faded as her finger passed over them. The small package was on Cate's lap, and a bouquet of flowers lie off to the side. "Well... Here I am again." Cate sighed. "I miss you. So much! I can't do this, Bellum! I can't live without you. But I have to. I'd do anything to have you back." She picked up the package. "I wanted to open this with you. I was going to save it until tomorrow... your birthday. Hey, it was going to be your 35th birthday. And in a few months, our 17th Anniversary." Cate held back the tears. She wasn't going to cry here; not now! Bellum wouldn't have wanted her to waste her life away crying for him, like she was doing now. "So here goes. I'm opening your gift to me now." She tugged at the strings, and found that they came off rather easily. She carefully pulled the paper off, and opened the small box. Closing her eyes, she emptied the contents on her lap. "Come on, Cate!" She said to herself. "You can open them!" She took a deep breath, and opened her eyes quickly. On her lap lie a beautiful necklace fashioned of gold, and there was a heart around a pearl gem. When she touched it, it glimmered, and the pearl turned to a diamond. Also on her lap was a tiny rose, shrunken. It appeared to be bewitched, so it would never die. Cate loved roses, and they were a frequent gift from Bellum. Each anniversary, he got her one more than he had the year before. This year she would have gotten a bouquet of 17. Next her eyes fell on a tattered piece of red silk fabric. She didn't know the meaning of it, but when she touched it her heart ached. It was soft, and she brought it to her face. It smelled like Bellum. He had probably kept it with him for quite some time, and it had acquired his scent. There was a small silver box. When she opened it, soft music started, and there was a small moving picture dancing around the top of the box. It was their wedding picture. She still remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Her heart ached even more thinking of it, and the urge to cry became greater. A little pink rattle sat on her lap also. She gave it a shake, and pink sparkles, and a white mist swirled around where it had been shaken. It suddenly changed to a light blue, and when she shook it again, the sparkles were blue instead of pink. She watched it for a bit, and it changed a wide range of soft pastel colors. Last, there was a letter. In an envelope, her name was written in Bellum's slightly sloppy looped handwriting. This was perhaps, the dearest item to her right now. She opened this slowly, and pulled the parchment out of the envelope. It was even scented, like roses. She found out, that when she opened the letter itself, that this was because there were rose petals inside. "Dearest Cate," she read aloud, her voice choked and quiet. Dearest Cate, First of all, I love you. I love you and I miss you. I can't put into words just how much this is true. But you know that. It's been a few weeks since I last touched you, or even spoken to you. These have been the worst few weeks I've ever experienced. Though even though you are not here, I think of you every minute I can. I know you think of me often, and I'm sorry that it makes you suffer. But just remember that I love you, and that it's better I'm gone than you are. Nothing's really become of my death yet, except for the Four Founders talking amongst themselves within earshot of me... about what they should do with me. I can truly say this letter comes from the soul. That's all I am right now, my soul. Though I feel solid and all, there's something missing. You were a part of my soul, and now I'm not complete. I can't go on, my soul not being complete. So here I dwell in nowhere. Again, I find it hard to write how much I love you. I don't believe that there has been a word that can describe it yet. I miss your voice, your face, your body, mind, kiss, and everything about you. But I can't make this letter to long, going into detail... I'm supposed to be telling you what this package contained. You might have noticed the little rose. I couldn't get 17 of them in this box, Cate. It was part of your Anniversary gift. But this one little one will last forever. Much like the way I love you. I'm gone, but not my love for you. Another part of your Anniversary gift was the necklace. It belonged to my own mother, who I only knew for a while. This was the only thing of her I recovered when she was killed. I was just a small child. It's been special to me, and I wish for you to have it. The small silver box I had made for you on Earth. I wanted you to keep your wedding ring here when you weren't wearing it, but now that's buried. So put your old engagement ring in there. The piece of fabric probably has you confused. This was yours. I confess for stealing this from you the very night I met you. It was part of your dress, and I felt like keeping it. So I carefully tore it off while you were asleep. I made sure you never saw, but every single day, without fail, I tucked it into my pocket, and I touched it when I didn't have you. Of everything I gave to you, this gift means the most. It was like a part of me. The rattle. This gift isn't for you, unless you'd very much like a rattle. It's for our baby. I know she'll be a beautiful child. Have you thought more of her name? I've thought of it a little; I like the name Faye. Fiona is a good name too, in case you don't like Faye. When you have the baby, and I'm sure you'll take good care of yourself in the meantime to make sure she is born healthily, make sure she knows her father loves her. Tell her every day that I love her, and I love her mother too. Please, don't forget me. Tell Ethan, Felicity, Paige, and Jack that I love them. They're my children, and don't let them forget me either. I also send my thanks to your parents. Cate, listen to me. They love you too! Let them help you. The pain won't be as great if you accept that they love you. Always loving you, Bellum S. Pugnare, formerly the luckiest man alive Cate couldn't fight the tears any longer. They had won the battle over her along the first line in the first paragraph, and were rolling silently down her cheeks. She didn't wipe them off, but let them fall down her front. She kissed the headstone on Bellum's grave softly, and put the gifts back in the box. They were precious in every way to her. She'd keep them forever, and when she was gone, she'd leave them to her children. She looked up to the sky, to see that the sun was shining through the clouds. Her hair fanned back, but she didn't feel beautiful at all. All she felt was the pain, though it wasn't as great as it was. It was time for her to go home. With a small 'Pop!' she was gone... ~*~ She appeared in the kitchen, where Sirius and Lizzie were sitting with Brooke and Jack, for lunch. Paige and Bridgett were off in the dining room, eating silently. Cate took a piece of bread, and walked out of the kitchen, on the path to her bedroom. "You did it." She told herself. "You feel better now, Cate, though not much." She paused to pat her stomach, before taking a bite of the bread. "Well, Faye, your daddy loves you. And your mummy loves you too." She climbed the stairs without another word, or thought. It had been a while since she'd climbed them. It had been even longer since she went into her bedroom. She tried to go in at night, but usually couldn't bring herself to do it. Now that she had opened the package, she could open the door. With a click of a handle, she heard words... "I missed you." Her jaw dropped at what she saw.
Nita shook her head, and hugged Paige. "I wish everything were the same." She said, feeling her eyes well with tears in sympathy for her friend. Paige dropped her photo album, which she hadn't noticed had been with her the whole time. "What cha got there?" Nita asked as brightly as possible. "Oh, just a photo album." Paige shrugged. "Of my family. It starts with pictures of my mom and dad as kids in the beginning... and then towards the end there are pictures of me... and my other siblings." Nita forced a smile, and flipped the book to the beginning. On the cover was a family picture from last Christmas. It seemed that Cate had gotten everyone to get along for one nice portrait. Even Paige forced a smile as Jack gave Felicity's long dark brown hair a good tug. Felicity toppled over backwards, knocking over Ethan, who was smoothing out his hair. Paige in the picture merely laughed, and Jack looked delighted. "Those were the days..." Paige muttered. "I wish they still were." Nita added, flipping the page. The next few pages were a trip to Cate's past. Cate was just a cute little girl quite like Paige, shyly waving at a camera. It was taken in a school, probably in her first or second year. The only other childhood pictures of Cate were of her as a small baby... Bellum had a more plentiful supply of photos. Nita and Paige looked through them silently, not saying much. At last, when they were through with the whole album, Nita said to Paige, "I think you look like your dad. But you look like your mum did when she was little, if that makes any sense a all..." "Yeah... it sorta does." Paige shrugged. "Felicity looks more like my mum than I do though." "I think your mum is pretty. I'd be proud if I looked like her." Paige rolled her eyes. "Everyone says something like that." She smiled. "But I hate Felicity. She's trying to be my mum totally, if you get what I mean... But I don't see why she'd want that. There's nothing more that my mother regrets than her evil days..." "She doesn't seem so bad." Nita shrugged. "Sure, she's a little depressed, but she's had a hard life. My mother makes it sound like Cate is something from the Underworld... But they're just rivals." "Mine thinks like that too." Paige looked even sadder at this moment. "I wish they got along. I wish they were best friends! Then we'd get to see each other ALL the time... it would make my life easier... and if mum had a best friend, it'd make her life easier too..." "I know." Nita replied, flopping backwards on her bed. "But the world just doesn't work our way." The rest of their lives, Paige and Nita would remember that comment. The world never did seem to spin in their favor... It was as if it were trying to dump them off, as harshly as possible. "Well, I suppose I'd better go home." Paige said after a bit. She stood up. "Nita... thanks for being here for me. I feel a little better now that I've talked to you." "Hey, that's what best friends are for..." "See you later." With that, Paige disappeared. ~*~ Cate was on her knees on the ground in front of Bellum's grave. She traced over his name with her fingers. The letters glowed gold, then faded as her finger passed over them. The small package was on Cate's lap, and a bouquet of flowers lie off to the side. "Well... Here I am again." Cate sighed. "I miss you. So much! I can't do this, Bellum! I can't live without you. But I have to. I'd do anything to have you back." She picked up the package. "I wanted to open this with you. I was going to save it until tomorrow... your birthday. Hey, it was going to be your 35th birthday. And in a few months, our 17th Anniversary." Cate held back the tears. She wasn't going to cry here; not now! Bellum wouldn't have wanted her to waste her life away crying for him, like she was doing now. "So here goes. I'm opening your gift to me now." She tugged at the strings, and found that they came off rather easily. She carefully pulled the paper off, and opened the small box. Closing her eyes, she emptied the contents on her lap. "Come on, Cate!" She said to herself. "You can open them!" She took a deep breath, and opened her eyes quickly. On her lap lie a beautiful necklace fashioned of gold, and there was a heart around a pearl gem. When she touched it, it glimmered, and the pearl turned to a diamond. Also on her lap was a tiny rose, shrunken. It appeared to be bewitched, so it would never die. Cate loved roses, and they were a frequent gift from Bellum. Each anniversary, he got her one more than he had the year before. This year she would have gotten a bouquet of 17. Next her eyes fell on a tattered piece of red silk fabric. She didn't know the meaning of it, but when she touched it her heart ached. It was soft, and she brought it to her face. It smelled like Bellum. He had probably kept it with him for quite some time, and it had acquired his scent. There was a small silver box. When she opened it, soft music started, and there was a small moving picture dancing around the top of the box. It was their wedding picture. She still remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Her heart ached even more thinking of it, and the urge to cry became greater. A little pink rattle sat on her lap also. She gave it a shake, and pink sparkles, and a white mist swirled around where it had been shaken. It suddenly changed to a light blue, and when she shook it again, the sparkles were blue instead of pink. She watched it for a bit, and it changed a wide range of soft pastel colors. Last, there was a letter. In an envelope, her name was written in Bellum's slightly sloppy looped handwriting. This was perhaps, the dearest item to her right now. She opened this slowly, and pulled the parchment out of the envelope. It was even scented, like roses. She found out, that when she opened the letter itself, that this was because there were rose petals inside. "Dearest Cate," she read aloud, her voice choked and quiet. Dearest Cate, First of all, I love you. I love you and I miss you. I can't put into words just how much this is true. But you know that. It's been a few weeks since I last touched you, or even spoken to you. These have been the worst few weeks I've ever experienced. Though even though you are not here, I think of you every minute I can. I know you think of me often, and I'm sorry that it makes you suffer. But just remember that I love you, and that it's better I'm gone than you are. Nothing's really become of my death yet, except for the Four Founders talking amongst themselves within earshot of me... about what they should do with me. I can truly say this letter comes from the soul. That's all I am right now, my soul. Though I feel solid and all, there's something missing. You were a part of my soul, and now I'm not complete. I can't go on, my soul not being complete. So here I dwell in nowhere. Again, I find it hard to write how much I love you. I don't believe that there has been a word that can describe it yet. I miss your voice, your face, your body, mind, kiss, and everything about you. But I can't make this letter to long, going into detail... I'm supposed to be telling you what this package contained. You might have noticed the little rose. I couldn't get 17 of them in this box, Cate. It was part of your Anniversary gift. But this one little one will last forever. Much like the way I love you. I'm gone, but not my love for you. Another part of your Anniversary gift was the necklace. It belonged to my own mother, who I only knew for a while. This was the only thing of her I recovered when she was killed. I was just a small child. It's been special to me, and I wish for you to have it. The small silver box I had made for you on Earth. I wanted you to keep your wedding ring here when you weren't wearing it, but now that's buried. So put your old engagement ring in there. The piece of fabric probably has you confused. This was yours. I confess for stealing this from you the very night I met you. It was part of your dress, and I felt like keeping it. So I carefully tore it off while you were asleep. I made sure you never saw, but every single day, without fail, I tucked it into my pocket, and I touched it when I didn't have you. Of everything I gave to you, this gift means the most. It was like a part of me. The rattle. This gift isn't for you, unless you'd very much like a rattle. It's for our baby. I know she'll be a beautiful child. Have you thought more of her name? I've thought of it a little; I like the name Faye. Fiona is a good name too, in case you don't like Faye. When you have the baby, and I'm sure you'll take good care of yourself in the meantime to make sure she is born healthily, make sure she knows her father loves her. Tell her every day that I love her, and I love her mother too. Please, don't forget me. Tell Ethan, Felicity, Paige, and Jack that I love them. They're my children, and don't let them forget me either. I also send my thanks to your parents. Cate, listen to me. They love you too! Let them help you. The pain won't be as great if you accept that they love you. Always loving you, Bellum S. Pugnare, formerly the luckiest man alive Cate couldn't fight the tears any longer. They had won the battle over her along the first line in the first paragraph, and were rolling silently down her cheeks. She didn't wipe them off, but let them fall down her front. She kissed the headstone on Bellum's grave softly, and put the gifts back in the box. They were precious in every way to her. She'd keep them forever, and when she was gone, she'd leave them to her children. She looked up to the sky, to see that the sun was shining through the clouds. Her hair fanned back, but she didn't feel beautiful at all. All she felt was the pain, though it wasn't as great as it was. It was time for her to go home. With a small 'Pop!' she was gone... ~*~ She appeared in the kitchen, where Sirius and Lizzie were sitting with Brooke and Jack, for lunch. Paige and Bridgett were off in the dining room, eating silently. Cate took a piece of bread, and walked out of the kitchen, on the path to her bedroom. "You did it." She told herself. "You feel better now, Cate, though not much." She paused to pat her stomach, before taking a bite of the bread. "Well, Faye, your daddy loves you. And your mummy loves you too." She climbed the stairs without another word, or thought. It had been a while since she'd climbed them. It had been even longer since she went into her bedroom. She tried to go in at night, but usually couldn't bring herself to do it. Now that she had opened the package, she could open the door. With a click of a handle, she heard words... "I missed you." Her jaw dropped at what she saw.