Nightmares of Power
By Adalanta
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, I swear.
Author's Note: Wow! Thank you so much for all the reviews! It's always a little frightening when you begin to write about a new show, so I never dreamed I would get such an enthusiastic response. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. I'll probably wrap the whole story up in a chapter or two. Please, take the time to leave a review and let me know how I'm doing, or you can email me at adalanta14@yahoo.com. Thanks!
Chapter Two
Adam Kane typed a few more words into the computer, hit enter, and then closed out the screen with a heavy sigh. He scrubbed his face with both hands, a very un-Adam-like gesture that spoke volumes of his frustration and the lingering effects of stress. He closed his eyes for a few more seconds to regain control of his emotions and then turned around to look into the center of the medical bay, his eyes focusing automatically on the figure lying motionless on the bed and the person sitting next to it.
He watched as Emma deLauro gently stroked a few blond hairs from Jesse Kilmartin's face and pulled up the blankets to tuck them in closer around his unconscious form. Adam didn't need to be a telempath to tell how worried Emma was for her friend. Her usually lively green eyes were dark with concern, like spring grass when the clouds cover the sun, throwing darkness over all. Her reddish-brown hair fell over her thin shoulders, uncombed. Every once in a while, she would absently push it back out of her way, too worried about her teammate to think of something so unimportant as brushing her hair.
Adam shifted his gaze to Jesse and visibly winced at the sight of the young man lying so still, covered up to his neck in thick blankets, an oxygen mask covering most of his face. He hated using the mask, but it had been necessary. When he had first reached Jesse, the molecular had been so deep in shock that he had nearly stopped breathing. He shuddered involuntarily at the thought of what might have happened if Emma hadn't heard Jesse's mental screams and rushed to his side. Thank god for Emma. I don't know what I would have done without her. He clenched his fist, frustrated by the fact that he wouldn't have been able to help one of his team – one of his children – even if by some miracle he had found him. He never could have gotten through to him…and Jesse would have died.
He'd never forget the sight that had met him when he had reached Jesse's bedroom. The molecular had been phasing erratically, parts of his body becoming intangible, even as he writhed on the bed, gasping desperately for air. At first, he'd thought something was physically wrong with him, an attack of some sort, but then he'd seen that his eyes were closed and, no matter what Adam had said, Jesse gave no indication that he heard him. Then he'd turned to Emma…he'd called her name several times before he'd realized that she was busy inside Jesse's mind, trying to help him.
His fears had increased drastically when Jesse had completely phased his entire body, just like he had earlier that morning in the very same room they were in now. Time had seemed to stand still. He'd watched helplessly as Jesse fought harder and harder to solidify, his ghostly body thrashing about on the bed. And then…the frantic motion just…stopped …completely, as if someone had thrown off the power switch. No! I can't have lost him, he'd screamed in his mind. Please, no! Not Jesse!
Then, he'd watched with disbelieving eyes as Jesse, seemingly without reason, abruptly phased back into existence, sitting up straight in the bed, his body rigid. Glancing into his confused, pain-filled eyes, Adam knew instinctively that the young mutant's body couldn't take any more. He'd begun to move towards him when Jesse's unfocused blue eyes had rolled back into his head, and he had passed out, falling limply back onto the mattress.
Reaching out to touch his face, Adam had cursed. Not only was the skin ice cold and damp, shivers continuing to wrack his frame, but he was also laboring to breathe. Adam knew instantly that Jesse was in shock. If he didn't get him warmed up soon, he would stop breathing altogether. He'd reacted without thinking, quickly grabbing a couple of thick blankets from the chair by the bed and bundling the trembling body up tightly. Next, he'd gathered the blanket-wrapped form, cradling him close to his chest for warmth and set out as fast as possible for the medical bay.
It had taken him almost an hour to get the young man stabilized and out of danger. Once he'd finished with Jesse, he'd suddenly become aware of Emma, how she'd been pacing back and forth ten feet away, just far enough to stay out of the way but close enough to help if he asked for it.
She had taken three steps before she'd noticed his scrutiny and had quickly rounded on him. "I don't understand!" she'd said angrily. "He seemed perfectly fine before he went to bed last night. Why is this happening?!"
He'd sighed. "It's a delayed reaction. Jesse's mind couldn't deal with everything that's happened so it pushed it aside until there was time to work it out." He had paused and swallowed, his eyes flickering briefly over to the prone form on the bed before returning to Emma. "Unfortunately, the trauma is worse that I suspected. There must be more to this than I thought. Something else is bothering him. But what that is…I'm not sure." He'd glanced away, unable to meet her darkened eyes, the unrelenting feeling of blame making him feel physically ill. "This is all my fault. I should have realized how this would affect him. If I'd kept him here for observation – "
A soft hand had touched his arm, cutting off his words. "No, Adam. No one could have known that this would happen. It's never happened before – how can you expect the unexpected?"
He blinked, coming out of the disturbing memory with a jolt. Whenever one of his children was injured, he, himself, felt hurt. It was like he lost a piece of his soul whenever that happened. Instead of becoming used to it, as one might expect, each time it grew more and more difficult to face.
"He's looking a little better, don't you think?" Emma's soft voice broke the heavy silence, temporarily blocking out the incessant beeping from the various monitors and machines.
With anyone else, Adam might have been startled, but he was used to it with Emma. She could tell whenever someone was near, especially if that someone was emoting as much as Adam was right now. He tried to dampen his feelings a bit for her sake, but the helplessness still remained…maybe not quite as intense as before, but it was still there.
"Yes, he does. He is getting better, Emma." He stepped closer to the bed, to her side and put a reassuring arm around her thin shoulders.
"Then why doesn't he wake up? It's been almost four hours. Surely, he should have woken up by now." She turned her head to look him in the eye, and he could feel her mental presence as she tried to gauge his feelings.
"He's exhausted, Emma. His body is so weak and tired from everything that has happened that he needs plenty of rest to recover." At her doubtful look, he continued on softly. "Look, his temperature has stabilized. So has his heart rate. He's no longer in shock. He'll be fine. We just need to give him time to rest."
Emma shook her head. "I just…" Her voice broke off, and he felt a shiver run through her. "If you'd seen – felt – what I did in his mind, what he was going through…it's not normal, Adam. He was trapped in that nightmare – and he truly believed that what was happening was real, that he was still inside that plant fighting for control." She closed her eyes with a shudder, prompting Adam to hug her tighter. "He was in so much pain…"
For a while, Adam could do nothing but hold her close, offering support and security to her. Neither said a word, just stood there, looking down at their sleeping friend.
Finally, Emma spoke. "Does it always hurt him that badly to use his powers?" She shifted to look over at him, her green eyes filled with distress and sympathy, unnerved by the idea.
He hesitated briefly, unsure of how to answer her question. It's really a question for Jesse, he thought. After all, all I know is what he's told me…and that's not much. He finally decided on a different approach. "Does it hurt you when you use your powers?" he asked quietly.
She frowned slightly in thought. "Sometimes it does, if I'm doing something really difficult. Otherwise, it's just a strain, like a pulled muscle." The frown disappeared, and an impish grin flickered in its place. "You of all people should know that it gives me a terrible headache. If I had a dollar for every time I've come to you for something to ease the pain …"
"Yeah. You use more medicine than the other three combined. With all the headaches you have, I'm surprised that you aren't cross-eyed by now," he laughed, relieved when she laughed right along with him. Then, he turned serious. "Back to Jesse, I'd say it's about the same thing. The only difference is that, as you know, he can't breathe when he's fully phased or massed. That's the main problem, and it makes him unique, because none of the rest of you have any problems when you use your powers."
Jesse shifted restlessly in his sleep, as if knowing that someone was talking about him. Emma sighed, reaching down to tenderly stroke his face again, pushing back the uncooperative strands of hair that seemed determined to cover his forehead. Her eyes widened in alarm. "Adam, he's shivering. I – I think it's happening again," she said, her voice quivering with fear.
Letting go of Emma, Adam hurried over to the nearby monitor, his brown eyes swiftly scanning the screen for Jesse's vital signs. He froze when he saw that Jesse's temperature had started to drop. He was stable just a couple of minutes ago! His mind protested angrily, hardly believing what he was seeing. This shouldn't be happening! "Emma, his temperature's falling. Can you tell if he's having another nightmare or if this is something else?" He didn't receive an answer, so he turned around, only to find that the telempath had already placed her hand on Jesse's forehead and was attempting to read him. Seeing that she appeared deep in concentration, he assumed that Jesse was indeed having another nightmare.
Unable to stand still while waiting, he moved over to the nearby storage closet and pulled out another blanket, which he quickly covered him with. By now, Jesse was becoming agitated, wrestling weakly with the covers, twisting from side to side, his already white face paling even more. What really tore at his heart, though, were the moans and cries that spilled from his lips, sending shivers up and down his spine. Never had Jesse appeared so helpless, vulnerable – so young. He ached to hold the young man in his arms and try to soothe him, as a father would a sick son, but he knew that it wasn't safe. Jesse could begin to phase or mass unexpectedly at any moment without warning, which could be harmful, even deadly, to those nearby. Emma was taking a big chance maintaining physical contact with the molecular.
"Shhhh, it's all right, Jesse. It's just a dream. It's okay. Shhhh." He tried to soothe the restless young man, but nothing was helping; Jesse was beyond hearing. The helplessness surged inside of him once again, frustration coming fast on its heals. Clenching his hands in tight, white-knuckled fists, he paced nervously back and forth by the bed at Emma's side, eyes glued on Jesse, poised to pull her away the moment he began to phase, all the while mentally urging her to hurry. I don't know how much more of this he can take! Come on, Emma, you can do it! But you have to hurry. I don't know how much more time we have!
Jesse's restless movements abruptly stilled, and, with a muffled sigh of relief beneath the oxygen mask, the molecular relaxed back into the bed, his rapid breathing slowly returning to normal. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam saw Emma sway and grabbed her around the waist, helping her over to a chair. It took a few moments for her to steady herself, and while he waited for her to report what had happened inside Jesse's mind, he moved over to Kilmartin to check his vitals. And to reassure himself that he was all right. Well, he's sleeping again. His temperature's returning to normal. Whatever that was, it didn't seem as bad as the previous episode, thank God. He carefully straightened the blankets over the prone form and tucked them securely about him, taking the time to sponge his face with a cold, wet cloth to remove the dampness caused by his exertions. This done, he glanced to his side at the pale young woman, meeting her wearied gaze. "Are you all right, Emma?"
She nodded and then looked away from him, her green eyes settling on Jesse. "It was the same dream, Adam. He was reliving what happened to him at Twin Creeks…but he hadn't progressed as far into the memory as before. He was inside the control room talking to some woman in a white lab coat about passwords. Was that Sophia, the woman that used him?"
This time he nodded. "I'm sure it was."
"Well, that explains the emotions I was getting from him. Confusion, anger, and – and guilt…so much guilt. He was being consumed by it, burning him inside. It was…" She shook her head, unable to find an accurate word to describe the feeling. Suddenly, she froze, then snapped her head towards him. "Did he phase at all when I was inside his mind?"
"No, thank God. I don't think his system could take the strain right now, not so soon after the last time. He was beginning to go into shock, but you got him to settle down in time. But why do you ask?" He stared at her, an idea beginning to form inside his mind.
"I think he's physically reenacting what happens to him in his dream. What happened in his memory, anyways – it's the same thing. He didn't phase during that time in the power plant, so he didn't phase here, right now. Does that make sense?" She cocked her head slightly to one side, looking at him questioningly.
Adam thought about it for a minute, running what he knew through his mind, checking for the possibilities. Finally, he nodded. "You might be right." He paused, frowning. "But that's never happened to him before, no matter how bad the mission." He walked a few paces away, warring with himself, unsure whether the decision he was about to make was for the best. But if I don't force him to face what happened, he'll continue to have these attacks, and there is no way that his body could stand that prolonged amount of stress, even if his mind could. We can't keep him under constant observation forever.
Turning around to move back, he stopped, staring at the two people before him. One, mentally wounded and emotionally damaged; the other, one who could feel and read another's emotions. And they both truly cared for each other – the best of friends, if not the beginning of something more. He smiled inside, somehow pleased by that thought. And he couldn't help but wonder if Emma would be quite this upset if Brennan was in Jesse's place.
Moving to Jesse's side, he spoke softly. "Emma, I'm going to need your help. I'm going to give Jesse something to help him sleep – without any dreams – so he can get some of his strength back. He needs to sleep for a good twelve to fourteen hours straight."
Emma shook her head, a puzzled look crossing her face. "I don't understand how I can help with that."
He smiled briefly. "You can't, not with that. What I need you to do is to talk to him when he wakes up. You know what is going on inside his mind. You can sense what he's feeling. I want you to talk to him, make him confront and accept what happened, to work through his feelings. He's trying to bury them, and it's only making the situation worse."
"But why aren't you – ?" she began.
He cut her off, staring straight into her bewildered eyes. "I'm going to be in the next room, monitoring his vitals. Besides, Jesse doesn't feel comfortable talking to me like you do. He thinks it's a sign of weakness – something that his dad taught him, no doubt," he said, his voice darkened with disgust, and he was forced to mentally push the animosity aside. "I can't do this myself, Emma – it won't work. I know it won't be easy for you to force this out of Jesse, but…he needs you. And so do I. Will you help me?"
Looking into her expressive, determined face, he knew the answer even before he finished speaking. Mutant X was a family – and they would do anything to help each other, no matter how difficult.