Day 1 of the News Broadcast
Hermione climbed sleepily out of bed and down the stairs of the girl's tower into the Gryffindor common room, where she found that most of the others were awake.. Harry, Ginny and Lavendar were in the corner on a sofa exchanging secrets about who was going out with who and painting their nails. Ron was sitting in the corner with Padma -- who had, apparently, sneaked over from the Ravenclaw common room with the excuse that she "needed some sugar" -- talking softly, although ever now and then, Ron would shout "BLOODY HELL!" so loudly that Draco would be able to hear it in the Slytherin tower. Seamus, Parvati, and Dean were sitting in the corner, making an attempt to "connect to the spiritual realm", although every time Ron shouted, they "broke their delicate trance". Some firsties were spazzing out, having cast 'wingardium leviosa' upon their friend, and being unable to get him down.. Hermione snickered at this.. Stupid firsties. She'd told them it was 'wingardium leviOsa', not 'wingardium levioSAW'. Dumbasses... She looked around again and found that Harry had left his little gossip group, and was now talking in a low, low tone to Ginny and the Creevy brothers. She shuddered.. It was one thing to hit on Ron, who'd known him from the start and could resist. It was another to seduce little children who worshipped the ground you walked on... Harry was a pervert. Voldemort should've killed him when he'd had the chance... Oh well. Hermione yawned a bit and left the common room. Library, here she came...
Hermione entered the library at seven o'clock sharp, and my-oh-my, she was surprised to see what she saw: Draco Malfoy, sitting at a table in the corner, seven empty mugs and three pots (two empty, one half-full) of coffee beside him, speaking rather loudly. Hermione heard him say her name, and she quickly dodged behind a bookshelf, wanting to hear the words of her beloved Malfoy.
Draco hadn't the foggiest idea that Hermione was there, and there he was, confessing every little dark desire for her to his beloved coffee. "Oh, mocha frappuccino! How long must I endure this torture?! It's bad enough that I cannot confess my feelings to her, but SORROW! She certainly shan't have any feelings for me! I have insulted her time and again, and never have I let her see how much I want her. She's so intelligent. She won't screw up raising our children. And how beautiful! Those lovely brown curls. Oh how enticing! I love her so! I'm afraid I shall die if I cannot have her right here, right now, this very second!" He was standing by now, shouting his thoughts to the coffee. He sighed, and sat again, "But alas. Oh, mocha frappuccino. Oh, decaffeinated regular with milk and sugar. Oh, black, black coffee! You, when milk is added, are the precise shade of her hair! Her long, beautiful hair that frames her dainty little face! By golly, I'd give my little nine-year-old boy and the nail polish machine up in a second if only I could tell her all of it. But, alas. She is not here. And I doubt very much that she and I will find a time when Lavender, Harry, and Ginny, the Three Gossipateers, aren't present." He sighed once more, sinking back in sadness in his chair, his left hand palm-up on his forehead in a dramatic pose. Then he stood again, speaking passionately, "To tell her or not to tell her?! If I told her, it would sacrifice my precious reputation. But what would it matter, if she could be mine?! My, my, my mudblood. But my father. Her would skewer me for sacrificing my family's honor. Alas, I shall never be able to tell her." He sank into his chair, putting his head in his hands. Then he downed a pot of coffee in one draught, and went back to the position with his head in his hands.
Hermione stared in disbelief. He felt the same! It was meant to be, wasn't it?! It was meant to be.!... And then Hermione made her mistake her mistake. She turned around, completely forgetting about the bookcase behind her, walked into the bookcase, knocking it over, with her on the other side. Draco looked startled, turning and seeing her. His eyes widened and, when he spoke, his voice cracked. "H-hermione. Did you hear all that?.."
Hermione nodded very slowly, blushing lightly. "Every word. Malfy- walfy."
Draco's eyes sparkled, and the background got all starry as he took her hands in his, helping her to her feet. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Draco broke the trance, and leaned close. And it was then, then of all times that Harry, Lavendar, and Ginny walked in. They stared at each other in disbelief. The three Gryffindors shocked nearly to death by the scene before them, and Hermione and Draco simply dumbfounded by Harry's hair. He had dyed it a lovely shade of pink, and clipped a small pink ribbon in it. Harry just kind of stared for another moment, before saying, "LIKE. OH, MY, GAWD. I like, cannot believe that you two are, like, kissing! I mean, like, OH MY GAWD, you know?! That's just, like, totally WR- ONG. Like, do I have to like, spell it out for you?! Double you - are - oh - en - GEE-EE, WRONG. I mean, like, omigod you guys. You could have at least found a better place than, like, the LIBRARY.."
Ginny and Lavendar both sighed, smiling some. "AWWWW. It's like, so totally adorable, isn't it, Ginny?!"
"Like, omigod Lavendar, it's, like, the epitome of cuteness! We'll, like, have to tell the, like, WHOLE. ENTIRE. SCHOOL!"
Malicious grins spread over all three of their faces, as they came closer to Hermione and Draco, leering in their faces. "Like, omigod. I, like, have a BETTER idea. We should, like, make them embarrass themselves on, like, the news show! Okay, like, you two. If you two take the lead rolls as reporters, we'll, like, not tell the whole school about your little scandal. Like."
Ginny and Lavendar clapped, smiling and jumping up and down. "Like, OMIGOD HARRY! You're, like, BRILLIANT!"
"Like, so. How 'bout it? Think you can, like, do it?" Harry glared ferociously at both of them.
".Potter, you dumbass. Of course we can. See you at noon, when it starts!" Draco growled ferociously, putting a protective arm around Hermione, having fun with his new ability to display his affection without risk of ridicule.
Hermione hissed at Harry, drawing closer to Draco, also having fun with her ability to display affection without ridicule.
Harry nodded sharply, walking out the door, hips swaying as he walked, his two little friends following him. Once out the door, he broke down and sobbed for a good half an hour without explaining it to either of them. But the truth was that he'd really, really loved Draco. And Draco. DRACO HAD BROKEN RULE NUMBAH ONE! . Draco'd drank all of the decaffeinated coffee.
Soon it was time for Potions. But everything was different this class. Not just the curriculum, but several other things as well, such as (1) Harry was sitting with Lavendar and Ginny instead of Ron and Hermione, (2) Ron had brought Padma to class, his excuse being that he needed a lap- dance every ten minutes in order to keep healthy, (3) Draco and Hermione kept on making eyes at each other, and (4) when they walked in, they could hear old-woman-style noises that sounded a bit like an orgasm from Snape's walk-in closet. The last was, of course, the most frightening.
When McGonagall and Snape walked out of the walk-in closet, everyone pretended that they'd never heard a thing. It was scary to think of Snape banging McGonagall, and frankly, nobody wanted to say a word. Snape coughed slightly, slicking back his hair with one hand. It would seem that he'd returned to his former ways since Minerva'd taken notice of him. "Well, class. We'll begin our news project today. Who are our volounteers for the two main reporters?"
Reluctantly, Draco and Hermione both raised their hands, holding their breath, hoping that it looked like they were just volounteering on a whim, not like it really was, with them volounteering to save their very lives. To be sure, Draco's father would bloodily murder him and send him off to (Ron's) Bloody Hell if he found out that his son was in love with a mudblood. And Hermione'd die too, once she found out her beloved Malfy- Walfy was dead. So they couldn't let the Gossipateers tell anyone.
Severus, noticing their hands, clapped his hands once more in glee. Well, maybe he hadn't returned to his former ways after all. "Excellent! Malfoy and Granger! Hogwart's top students! Who would be more fitting to take this position?! We start in an hour! Everyone organize into groups! If you'd like, I'll allow all of you to return to your rooms and get or do anything you might need. Your wonderful Transfiguration teacher and I will return momentarily, okayzee-wayzee? We have some .. er .. unfinished business to attend to. Bye-bye!" With that, Snape took Minerva's hand sickeningly gently, with a sparkle in his eyes that made all close enough to see want to barf their brains out, and led her to the doorway, where he paused for a moment, looking at Hermione and Draco. "Oh.. And you two'd better talk a little. You'll be eating, breathing, living, and sleeping together for the next week." And then he left.
Draco and Hermione looked at each other and blushed. Maybe applying for this position wouldn't be so bad after all. But that's just what the Gossipateers wanted them to think, wasn't it? What had Harry - or Harriet, as he now insisted on being called, said? 'We'll let them embarrass themselves on the screen'. They looked at each other with a bit of understanding, before Hermione's expression changed, and she began to talk very loudly. "WELL, I absoloutely HATE you Draco, you pure-bred scum. I can't believe you applied for that position. I don't trust you near my delicate virgin's body!"
Draco smirked, catching on, and began to talk just as loudly. "It's your own fault, mudblood slug! Why did YOU apply for that position?! And as for your body, maybe you SHOULDN'T trust me near it! You know you want me, and I never refuse when a girl comes crawling at my feet!"
Hermione and Draco taunted each other and growled for half an hour, before storming out opposite doors, meeting in the dungeons, and snogging for twenty minutes, leaving themselves ten to storm upstairs through opposite doors once again.
The cameras were already all set up as they nestled into two of three leather armchairs, and they were going on the air in ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"ACTION!" Declared the cameraman. Draco and Hermione looked down at the papers in front of them. Ron and Padma had prepared them, so it was highly unlikely that they'd been sabotaged. Thank God they still had the scriptwriters on their side.
"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger."
"And I'm Draco Malfoy. It's time for..." and then the whole staff shouted loudly 'GOOD MORNING HOGWARTS!'.
Draco and Hermione looked at each other with a raised brow. How. uninventive that had been! Ah, well. Hermione looked again at her notes. "Today on Good Morning Hogwarts, we are lucky enough to be interviewing the real Berty of the well-known candy company, BERTY BOTT'S EVERY-FLAVOUR BEANS! Come on down, Mr. Bott!"
There was applause as Mr. Berty Bott walked onto the set, plopping down into the third armchair, waving and smiling. He was a huge block of a man with a ponytail. Hell, he looked more like one of the Azkaban guards than a candy maker. Both Hermione and Draco stood and shook his hand before sitting again, Draco looking intently at his notes. "Good morning Mr. Bott, nice to have you on the show."
Berty laughed, and punched Draco's shoulder friendly-like. Draco muttered a bit, rubbing it. He'd have a bruise for a month. "Aw, little 'un like you doesn't have to call me Mr. Bott. Just Berty."
Draco nodded. "Very well then, Berty. What motivated you to make a children's candy?"
Berty appeared to think for a moment, then spoke. "Well, I suppose it was mah daughter. She loved candy, but she didn't like most of the normal kinds. She liked the muggle stuff, like mounds bars and all that. The chocolate frogs scared her out of her wits. So, I decided, why not make a candy that comes in all tastes, and isn't scary? And so I did. And it was a wonderful success."
Hermione had the next question. "That's quite considerate of you Berty. But tell me. Why put in EVERY flavour? I mean, my first bean was urine flavoured, and I haven't really liked them much since."
Berty laughed loudly, slapping his knee. "It was a dare. My drinkin' buddies dared me to make it literally EVERY flavour, and I did. The customers weren't too happy, but with the spell we use, you can't stop making one kind after you've made it once. And I'd like to offer my personal apology for the urine-flavoured one."
Draco blinked a bit. His first had been coffee flavoured. He absoloutely LOVED Berty's beans. "So, Berty. What's your personal favourite bean?"
"I like the corn on the cob flavoured ones! My daughter likes the chocolate- covered doughnut ones, my son likes the booger ones, and my wife likes the fancy French chocolate ones."
Hermione smiled, nodding. "How interesting. That's all the questions we have for today, so it was nice to -"
Berty, however, was not finished. He raised his hand to stop her from speaking. "Hey, what about my questions?"
Draco and Hermione just kind of looked at each other, Hermione stuttering a bit. "U-uh.. O-okay. f-fire away.."
Berty smirked. "Are you two," he batted his eyelashes, "in looooove?"
They both glared hard, searching for the person who'd briefed him on what was appropriate to say and do...Sure enough, the Gossipateers were briefing guests. Bah. There would be no more guests. Draco spoke before Hermione could. "No, I assure you that we are not, and I also assure you that that type of question is a complete breach of our personal privacy, and we did not have to answer it."
Hermione tried not to gaze too adoringly at her law-learned Malfy-Walfy.
Berty nodded slowly. "Very well. What are your favourite kinds of beans, then?"
Draco blinked. "Coffee. Every single KIND of coffee. My father likes cheese, and my mother's a diabetic."
Hermione shrugged. "Mine's. mint-chip ice cream. My mum and dad both like fluoride. They're dentists."
Berty smiled, nodding, and stood, shaking their hands. "Well, it was nice to be on the show. Bye!" And with that, he walked off.
Draco smiled his trademark smile at the camera. "We'll be right back with Good Morning Hogwarts."
Luckily, the rest of the day passed without sabotage.
To Be Continued.
Hermione climbed sleepily out of bed and down the stairs of the girl's tower into the Gryffindor common room, where she found that most of the others were awake.. Harry, Ginny and Lavendar were in the corner on a sofa exchanging secrets about who was going out with who and painting their nails. Ron was sitting in the corner with Padma -- who had, apparently, sneaked over from the Ravenclaw common room with the excuse that she "needed some sugar" -- talking softly, although ever now and then, Ron would shout "BLOODY HELL!" so loudly that Draco would be able to hear it in the Slytherin tower. Seamus, Parvati, and Dean were sitting in the corner, making an attempt to "connect to the spiritual realm", although every time Ron shouted, they "broke their delicate trance". Some firsties were spazzing out, having cast 'wingardium leviosa' upon their friend, and being unable to get him down.. Hermione snickered at this.. Stupid firsties. She'd told them it was 'wingardium leviOsa', not 'wingardium levioSAW'. Dumbasses... She looked around again and found that Harry had left his little gossip group, and was now talking in a low, low tone to Ginny and the Creevy brothers. She shuddered.. It was one thing to hit on Ron, who'd known him from the start and could resist. It was another to seduce little children who worshipped the ground you walked on... Harry was a pervert. Voldemort should've killed him when he'd had the chance... Oh well. Hermione yawned a bit and left the common room. Library, here she came...
Hermione entered the library at seven o'clock sharp, and my-oh-my, she was surprised to see what she saw: Draco Malfoy, sitting at a table in the corner, seven empty mugs and three pots (two empty, one half-full) of coffee beside him, speaking rather loudly. Hermione heard him say her name, and she quickly dodged behind a bookshelf, wanting to hear the words of her beloved Malfoy.
Draco hadn't the foggiest idea that Hermione was there, and there he was, confessing every little dark desire for her to his beloved coffee. "Oh, mocha frappuccino! How long must I endure this torture?! It's bad enough that I cannot confess my feelings to her, but SORROW! She certainly shan't have any feelings for me! I have insulted her time and again, and never have I let her see how much I want her. She's so intelligent. She won't screw up raising our children. And how beautiful! Those lovely brown curls. Oh how enticing! I love her so! I'm afraid I shall die if I cannot have her right here, right now, this very second!" He was standing by now, shouting his thoughts to the coffee. He sighed, and sat again, "But alas. Oh, mocha frappuccino. Oh, decaffeinated regular with milk and sugar. Oh, black, black coffee! You, when milk is added, are the precise shade of her hair! Her long, beautiful hair that frames her dainty little face! By golly, I'd give my little nine-year-old boy and the nail polish machine up in a second if only I could tell her all of it. But, alas. She is not here. And I doubt very much that she and I will find a time when Lavender, Harry, and Ginny, the Three Gossipateers, aren't present." He sighed once more, sinking back in sadness in his chair, his left hand palm-up on his forehead in a dramatic pose. Then he stood again, speaking passionately, "To tell her or not to tell her?! If I told her, it would sacrifice my precious reputation. But what would it matter, if she could be mine?! My, my, my mudblood. But my father. Her would skewer me for sacrificing my family's honor. Alas, I shall never be able to tell her." He sank into his chair, putting his head in his hands. Then he downed a pot of coffee in one draught, and went back to the position with his head in his hands.
Hermione stared in disbelief. He felt the same! It was meant to be, wasn't it?! It was meant to be.!... And then Hermione made her mistake her mistake. She turned around, completely forgetting about the bookcase behind her, walked into the bookcase, knocking it over, with her on the other side. Draco looked startled, turning and seeing her. His eyes widened and, when he spoke, his voice cracked. "H-hermione. Did you hear all that?.."
Hermione nodded very slowly, blushing lightly. "Every word. Malfy- walfy."
Draco's eyes sparkled, and the background got all starry as he took her hands in his, helping her to her feet. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Draco broke the trance, and leaned close. And it was then, then of all times that Harry, Lavendar, and Ginny walked in. They stared at each other in disbelief. The three Gryffindors shocked nearly to death by the scene before them, and Hermione and Draco simply dumbfounded by Harry's hair. He had dyed it a lovely shade of pink, and clipped a small pink ribbon in it. Harry just kind of stared for another moment, before saying, "LIKE. OH, MY, GAWD. I like, cannot believe that you two are, like, kissing! I mean, like, OH MY GAWD, you know?! That's just, like, totally WR- ONG. Like, do I have to like, spell it out for you?! Double you - are - oh - en - GEE-EE, WRONG. I mean, like, omigod you guys. You could have at least found a better place than, like, the LIBRARY.."
Ginny and Lavendar both sighed, smiling some. "AWWWW. It's like, so totally adorable, isn't it, Ginny?!"
"Like, omigod Lavendar, it's, like, the epitome of cuteness! We'll, like, have to tell the, like, WHOLE. ENTIRE. SCHOOL!"
Malicious grins spread over all three of their faces, as they came closer to Hermione and Draco, leering in their faces. "Like, omigod. I, like, have a BETTER idea. We should, like, make them embarrass themselves on, like, the news show! Okay, like, you two. If you two take the lead rolls as reporters, we'll, like, not tell the whole school about your little scandal. Like."
Ginny and Lavendar clapped, smiling and jumping up and down. "Like, OMIGOD HARRY! You're, like, BRILLIANT!"
"Like, so. How 'bout it? Think you can, like, do it?" Harry glared ferociously at both of them.
".Potter, you dumbass. Of course we can. See you at noon, when it starts!" Draco growled ferociously, putting a protective arm around Hermione, having fun with his new ability to display his affection without risk of ridicule.
Hermione hissed at Harry, drawing closer to Draco, also having fun with her ability to display affection without ridicule.
Harry nodded sharply, walking out the door, hips swaying as he walked, his two little friends following him. Once out the door, he broke down and sobbed for a good half an hour without explaining it to either of them. But the truth was that he'd really, really loved Draco. And Draco. DRACO HAD BROKEN RULE NUMBAH ONE! . Draco'd drank all of the decaffeinated coffee.
Soon it was time for Potions. But everything was different this class. Not just the curriculum, but several other things as well, such as (1) Harry was sitting with Lavendar and Ginny instead of Ron and Hermione, (2) Ron had brought Padma to class, his excuse being that he needed a lap- dance every ten minutes in order to keep healthy, (3) Draco and Hermione kept on making eyes at each other, and (4) when they walked in, they could hear old-woman-style noises that sounded a bit like an orgasm from Snape's walk-in closet. The last was, of course, the most frightening.
When McGonagall and Snape walked out of the walk-in closet, everyone pretended that they'd never heard a thing. It was scary to think of Snape banging McGonagall, and frankly, nobody wanted to say a word. Snape coughed slightly, slicking back his hair with one hand. It would seem that he'd returned to his former ways since Minerva'd taken notice of him. "Well, class. We'll begin our news project today. Who are our volounteers for the two main reporters?"
Reluctantly, Draco and Hermione both raised their hands, holding their breath, hoping that it looked like they were just volounteering on a whim, not like it really was, with them volounteering to save their very lives. To be sure, Draco's father would bloodily murder him and send him off to (Ron's) Bloody Hell if he found out that his son was in love with a mudblood. And Hermione'd die too, once she found out her beloved Malfy- Walfy was dead. So they couldn't let the Gossipateers tell anyone.
Severus, noticing their hands, clapped his hands once more in glee. Well, maybe he hadn't returned to his former ways after all. "Excellent! Malfoy and Granger! Hogwart's top students! Who would be more fitting to take this position?! We start in an hour! Everyone organize into groups! If you'd like, I'll allow all of you to return to your rooms and get or do anything you might need. Your wonderful Transfiguration teacher and I will return momentarily, okayzee-wayzee? We have some .. er .. unfinished business to attend to. Bye-bye!" With that, Snape took Minerva's hand sickeningly gently, with a sparkle in his eyes that made all close enough to see want to barf their brains out, and led her to the doorway, where he paused for a moment, looking at Hermione and Draco. "Oh.. And you two'd better talk a little. You'll be eating, breathing, living, and sleeping together for the next week." And then he left.
Draco and Hermione looked at each other and blushed. Maybe applying for this position wouldn't be so bad after all. But that's just what the Gossipateers wanted them to think, wasn't it? What had Harry - or Harriet, as he now insisted on being called, said? 'We'll let them embarrass themselves on the screen'. They looked at each other with a bit of understanding, before Hermione's expression changed, and she began to talk very loudly. "WELL, I absoloutely HATE you Draco, you pure-bred scum. I can't believe you applied for that position. I don't trust you near my delicate virgin's body!"
Draco smirked, catching on, and began to talk just as loudly. "It's your own fault, mudblood slug! Why did YOU apply for that position?! And as for your body, maybe you SHOULDN'T trust me near it! You know you want me, and I never refuse when a girl comes crawling at my feet!"
Hermione and Draco taunted each other and growled for half an hour, before storming out opposite doors, meeting in the dungeons, and snogging for twenty minutes, leaving themselves ten to storm upstairs through opposite doors once again.
The cameras were already all set up as they nestled into two of three leather armchairs, and they were going on the air in ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"ACTION!" Declared the cameraman. Draco and Hermione looked down at the papers in front of them. Ron and Padma had prepared them, so it was highly unlikely that they'd been sabotaged. Thank God they still had the scriptwriters on their side.
"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger."
"And I'm Draco Malfoy. It's time for..." and then the whole staff shouted loudly 'GOOD MORNING HOGWARTS!'.
Draco and Hermione looked at each other with a raised brow. How. uninventive that had been! Ah, well. Hermione looked again at her notes. "Today on Good Morning Hogwarts, we are lucky enough to be interviewing the real Berty of the well-known candy company, BERTY BOTT'S EVERY-FLAVOUR BEANS! Come on down, Mr. Bott!"
There was applause as Mr. Berty Bott walked onto the set, plopping down into the third armchair, waving and smiling. He was a huge block of a man with a ponytail. Hell, he looked more like one of the Azkaban guards than a candy maker. Both Hermione and Draco stood and shook his hand before sitting again, Draco looking intently at his notes. "Good morning Mr. Bott, nice to have you on the show."
Berty laughed, and punched Draco's shoulder friendly-like. Draco muttered a bit, rubbing it. He'd have a bruise for a month. "Aw, little 'un like you doesn't have to call me Mr. Bott. Just Berty."
Draco nodded. "Very well then, Berty. What motivated you to make a children's candy?"
Berty appeared to think for a moment, then spoke. "Well, I suppose it was mah daughter. She loved candy, but she didn't like most of the normal kinds. She liked the muggle stuff, like mounds bars and all that. The chocolate frogs scared her out of her wits. So, I decided, why not make a candy that comes in all tastes, and isn't scary? And so I did. And it was a wonderful success."
Hermione had the next question. "That's quite considerate of you Berty. But tell me. Why put in EVERY flavour? I mean, my first bean was urine flavoured, and I haven't really liked them much since."
Berty laughed loudly, slapping his knee. "It was a dare. My drinkin' buddies dared me to make it literally EVERY flavour, and I did. The customers weren't too happy, but with the spell we use, you can't stop making one kind after you've made it once. And I'd like to offer my personal apology for the urine-flavoured one."
Draco blinked a bit. His first had been coffee flavoured. He absoloutely LOVED Berty's beans. "So, Berty. What's your personal favourite bean?"
"I like the corn on the cob flavoured ones! My daughter likes the chocolate- covered doughnut ones, my son likes the booger ones, and my wife likes the fancy French chocolate ones."
Hermione smiled, nodding. "How interesting. That's all the questions we have for today, so it was nice to -"
Berty, however, was not finished. He raised his hand to stop her from speaking. "Hey, what about my questions?"
Draco and Hermione just kind of looked at each other, Hermione stuttering a bit. "U-uh.. O-okay. f-fire away.."
Berty smirked. "Are you two," he batted his eyelashes, "in looooove?"
They both glared hard, searching for the person who'd briefed him on what was appropriate to say and do...Sure enough, the Gossipateers were briefing guests. Bah. There would be no more guests. Draco spoke before Hermione could. "No, I assure you that we are not, and I also assure you that that type of question is a complete breach of our personal privacy, and we did not have to answer it."
Hermione tried not to gaze too adoringly at her law-learned Malfy-Walfy.
Berty nodded slowly. "Very well. What are your favourite kinds of beans, then?"
Draco blinked. "Coffee. Every single KIND of coffee. My father likes cheese, and my mother's a diabetic."
Hermione shrugged. "Mine's. mint-chip ice cream. My mum and dad both like fluoride. They're dentists."
Berty smiled, nodding, and stood, shaking their hands. "Well, it was nice to be on the show. Bye!" And with that, he walked off.
Draco smiled his trademark smile at the camera. "We'll be right back with Good Morning Hogwarts."
Luckily, the rest of the day passed without sabotage.
To Be Continued.