ABOUT US 3: The Good And The Bad 4/13
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M, Clay/Annika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: If they belonged to me... no comment. :) JAG is property of DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating on homework...
Author's Note: This story takes place two months after the events of About Us 2. The rest of the information related to LLNL and the different laboratories mentioned, as well as the current research on Nitrogen bond-dissociation is real, although not nearly as advanced as I make it in the story. Believe me, the world would be a whole lot different. Even though chemistry is a passion of mine, Nitrogen compounds is not my area of expertise; but if anyone is interested in further information about anything mentioned on this story, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Many thanks to my betas, who always do such a great job keeping me motivated... you're the best, guys!...
FROM PART 3
"You folks ready for dinner?" Don asked as he approached them, obviously doing his best to hide his apprehension about the latest happenings concerning Dr. Jones' death. Minutes later they were seated at the dining room table, enjoying their dinner when Don began.
"I think it's time we talk about this, people," he spoke as he turned towards Harm and Mac. "I'm sorry to drag you guys into this, but we need you, especially since our main suspect is as Naval Officer" Don stopped to let that sink in and prepared for the lawyers' questions.
"A naval officer? Who?"
PART 4
"Lt. Jason Fleming" Don informed Harm. Mac turned to him and shook her head letting him know she hadn't heard anything about the Lt. either.
"He's requested JAG representation and you two were assigned. I had nothing to do with it, but when I found out you two would be assigned the case, I decided to fill you in and hope you could help, unofficially of course" Don said and waited for Harm and Mac. They nodded their approval and Don continued, taking the four folders he held in his hand and distributing them around to them. Quickly, the foursome scanned the contents.
"Well, Lt. Fleming was found a few blocks from Dr. Jones' home in Livermore. It's a secluded area, his fingerprints turned up on the NCIS report and we believe he had motive."
"Motive?" Harm and Mac asked simultaneously and Clay rolled his eyes. Even their brains are connected, he thought and smiled inwardly.
"Lt. Fleming is Dr. Fleming's nephew. Dr. Fleming was the Physics N Division leader at LLNL, until he was killed eight months ago. Dr. John March was appointed division leader after his death."
"N Division?"
"N-Division is the one that works with atomic, nuclear and particle physics."
"Livermore is one of the laboratories that works with the DoD, right?" Harm asked.
"Right. National Security." Annika's _expression was thoughtful as she gave away the information she had, and after a few seconds of silence she turned to Clay and spoke.
"I don't get it, Clay. Dr. Jones had nothing to do with N Division research. He was the principal investigator on the molecular and chemical toxicology group. He was an environmentalist at heart. As far as I know, Dr. Jones and Dr. Fleming never worked together, and were little more than acquaintances. What are we missing?"
"How about a personal motive? Maybe something happened between Dr. Jones and Dr. Fleming that only Lt. Fleming knows about. After all, him and his uncle were really close." Clay speculated as Annika nodded in understanding.
"That could be. But, you know people around the lab still talk often about Dr. Fleming's death. I heard a few weeks ago a conversation between two doctors and they were talking about Dr. March and how convenient Dr. Fleming's death had been for him" Annika was speaking almost to herself now, and Clay simply thought about her words.
Don interrupted with a long sigh. "It still doesn't tell us how Dr. Jones fits into all this, and I, by no means buy that Dr. Jones' death was an accident or a robbery. Lt. Fleming knew who Dr. Jones was. If he killed him, he had a reason. We just need to find out what it is, and that's what you" Don said motioning to Harm and Mac "are going to try and figure out while you investigate."
"Wait a minute. Who are Dr. Fleming and Dr. March? And why would it be convenient for March that Fleming died? Besides getting his job, of course" Mac asked not liking being so out of the loop. Annika sighed and handed Mac the folder she'd been given by Clay earlier.
"Well, since you'll find out anyway, I'll spare you the research" Annika answered and took a deep breath before starting on with the story.
"Dr. Fleming was the principal investigator on one of the most promising projects that DoD was funding. It had to do with nitrogen bond breaking and of course, this would be crucial to the developing of nuclear weapons, propellants, and explosives. The details of the investigation are still somewhat classified and very complex, but mainly Dr. Fleming's team was very close to finding a way to synthesize what is called a nitrogen fullerene. It would basically be a molecule composed of sixty nitrogen atoms formed from six units of nitrogen rings. Nitrogen exists in nature as a diatomic molecule, and the triple bond that holds it together it's the second strongest in nature. You might remember from your general chemistry that explosions are in theory exothermic reactions that occur when high-energy bonds in molecules are broken, therefore releasing their energy in the form of mostly heat and sound. If it were possible to create a big enough molecule of nitrogen units, that were stable, then the world of explosives would be changed forever. Apparently, Dr. Fleming's lab team was close enough to successfully synthesizing the nitrogen fullerene, and was preparing to present the findings at the upcoming DARPA convention."
"Okay, so Dr. Fleming was murdered, and CIA thinks it had to do with his research" Harm stated as a clarification and Webb nodded before he spoke.
"That's right. We also believe whoever killed him worked at LLNL. Whether they worked for Dr. Fleming or for another lab team, we don't know. There are some facilities within the building that are shared by different research teams."
"Which brings us to the reason I sent Annika undercover to LLNL" Don interrupted Clay and Harm and Mac fixed their eyes on him.
"So that's where Annika's been" Mac whispered as she tried to digest all the information at once.
"Yes" Annika spoke. "I've been working as a first year graduate student in Dr. Jones' lab."
"You have?" Harm and Mac looked at each other.
"Besides being one of the best, if not the best field agent the Agency has, Annika has a Ph.D in Physical Chemistry from Cal Tech" Clay finished, the note of pride unmistakable in his tone.
Annika shrugged under the admiring stares of her friends. "I know my way around a research lab. Dr. Jones' team focuses mostly on biochemistry, but I did an internship in a similar field my junior year in college. After that, I decided physical chemistry was more my thing, but I could still remember enough of it to fit in as a trainee."
"Physical chemistry?" Mac asked frowning, and raised her eyebrows appreciatively at Annika's nod. "Wow. Sounds...boring. No offense."
Annika smiled knowingly. "None taken. It's a common reaction."
"So, your cover is a first year graduate student from..." Harm trailed off awaiting her explanation.
"Nicole Avery. First year graduate student at University of California, Davis. I'm supposed to be at Livermore only for the summer. It's common for PhD students to take off for a summer to different laboratories. That's my cover. It's been working out great so far. Or at least it was until I found out Dr. Jones is dead" Annika finished shaking her head in disbelief.
"Okay, so they found Lt. Fleming near the scene of the crime, and his fingerprints have been confirmed by NCIS. What do we know about Lt. Fleming?"
"His current duty station is NAS North Island. He requested three days leave and rented a car to go up to Livermore, which is about a seven hour drive from San Diego. He's refused to talk to anyone except his lawyer, which is why you are being sent to Livermore first thing in the morning. All the evidence and other possible suspects have already been gathered by NCIS, so you'll need to take your cue from them. AJ will brief you tomorrow morning and you'll be on your way by noon. Don't worry now. AJ knows what's going on and he's given his consent."
"Let me get this straight. We're being sent to California to investigate even though the state of California has already charged Lt. Fleming with murder. Whatever happened to all those jurisdiction talks?" Harm asked with a smirk before taking another bite of his food.
"Oh, PD was more than happy to hand this one over to the Navy. Annika's going back to Livermore on Monday, so you'll probably cross paths with her during your investigation. With all this new excitement around this case, I figured it'd be good for Nik to have a familiar face or two around," Don finished and Annika rolled her eyes indulgently. When would they all stop trying to protect her?
"Aren't you going to be around too, Clay?" Harm asked curiously. After all, Don had brought Clay back from Afghanistan for this. Clay simply looked to Don for approval, and at his nod he spoke.
"We have reason to believe there is someone at LLNL who's just about to make the sell of his or her life," Clay said and waited for the information to sink in the lawyer's heads.
"You mean there's a spy at LLNL?"
"I don't know about a spy. But that could be a possibility as well. At the moment, we're thinking it's someone who's planning to sell the latest technology secrets to FFChem, a chemical company we've been keeping an eye on for a few years now. There have also been threats identified by the DoD concerning the DARPA convention. But that's expected, so we won't worry about that much and hope our security is good enough to prevent the threats from being materialized. However, if the threats are coming from an insider, then we'll have a field day unless we figure out who it is, and fast."
"I thought you were back in Afghanistan tying up loose ends after the Kabir debacle?" Harm said with a frown.
"Everyone did, Harm" Clay answered easily, not risking at glance in Annika's direction. Harm knew better than to be offended by being kept out of the loop. It was for his own protection and he was grateful for that after all. However, he'd seen Annika's fists clench and unclench on the table. He wouldn't have expected a different reaction from Mac. Although Mac would probably be a little more outspoken about it all, he thought. His partner's voice interrupted his musings.
"Okay, that's fair enough. But if we're going to work together on this, we need to know it all, deal? No secrets," Mac stated as she watched Don and Clay hold a private conversation as they held each other's gaze fiercely. Finally, Clay sighed and looked away.
"Deal" was Clay's quiet response and Mac smiled in return. For all of his heartless spook routines, Clay was as warm and considerate a human being as anyone she'd ever known. Circumstances sure challenged that thought in many occasions, but she'd learned to see behind the mask.
"So, you think we have a good chance of catching whoever it is before the convention?"
"I sure hope so" was Annika's only response as she took her plate and headed towards the kitchen. Don and Harm followed her. Mac was the last one to stand up, and noticing Clay was still intent on piercing a hole on the wall, smiled curiously at him.
"Are you okay, Clay?"
"Uh, yeah. Of course. I'm just..."
"Clay, we'll keep an eye on her. She'll be fine."
Clay smiled slightly and ran a hand through his hair as he met Mac's gaze. "Thanks" was all he said and Mac simply nodded and strode out of the dinning room.
CLAYTON WEBB'S APARTMENT
LATER THAT EVENING
"I have to go back in the morning" Clay spoke quietly as Annika switched off the TV after the movie had ended.
"I know" was her casual response and Clay sighed. Her walls were up, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"I need to talk to you, Nik" his words were barely above a whisper, but she heard them all the same.
"Then talk, Webb" she attempted a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Annika, I know you're still mad at me for not telling you what I was doing in Afghanistan, but..."
Annika shook her head in resignation. She'd been holding it in for days now and it just had to come out. It would sooner or later, so she figured she'd get it out of the way.
"Clay, you always know where I am and what I'm doing. If I don't tell you, Don sure as hell does. I don't appreciate being lied to, even if it is because of your misguided ideas that I need to be protected. I want to know what's going on, Clay. Why didn't you tell me? You know damn well it wouldn't have affected my performance undercover. If anything, it would've given me a clue as to what I was looking for. I've been out there for 4 weeks now, simply standing around, trying to feel my way in when I could've had most of this resolved by now if I'd known what the real threat was. Is there something about this investigation you don't trust me with?" her voice was quite but the underlying hurt was more than visible to him, and it tore at his heart.
"No! You know I trust you completely. We've been partners and best friends for seven years, Annika. How can you even ask me that?" His eyes were wide with surprise as much as fear. The woman could turn a drop of rain into a raging storm if he didn't choose his words carefully. And that, he thought, was the reason emotional talks like this one were avoided. For her part, Annika had almost enjoyed the look on his face after her burst of honesty. Almost.
"Power down there, spook. I'm sorry. I know you trust me, as I do you. It's just..." Annika hesitated, knowing it was now or never. She'd been trying to simply follow his lead the past couple of months. But he was confusing the hell out of her, and she'd had enough.
"It's just what?"
"I just don't know how to figure you out anymore, Clay. You've been so unpredictable lately. I don't know what to expect, and I...it just feels like we're back to square one."
"I know. I'm sorry, Nik. I know it's been hard for you. Listen, I know why you took that assignment down in the Caribbean last month, and I'm sorry I didn't stop you. God, you could've been killed and..."
Annika gasped and shot up from the couch. "Clay, stop it. We never talk about this and you know it. Danger is just part of what we do, and we agreed years ago to just roll with it and deal with things as they come." Her hands were a bit shaky, and she cursed under her breath when her attempts at steadying them failed.
"I just... I just don't want to lose you, Annika"
Well, that certainly made her hands stop shaking. She froze. It would've been less surprising if Don called her and told her he'd resigned. Annika was under no illusions that she didn't care for Clay. On a good honest day, she could even admit to herself she loved him. The fact they cared for each other was always understood between them, but it was never spoken of. They didn't dwell on it. At least she didn't. She couldn't afford to.
Clay had been silent ever since his astounding utter, and Annika could almost see the thoughts running around wildly in his head. Taking a deep breath, she neared the couch once again and lowered herself next to him.
"Listen to me, Clay" she stated firmly, taking his hand between both her smaller ones. "I'm gonna say this only once. You and I both love our jobs. We know why we do this, and we also know all the risks that come with it. We are not giving this up because of fear. There are enough people out there who are incapable of handling what we do, but we're not them. We can do this, and we will. Our country needs us to stay objective and to perform our duties to the best of our abilities, and I for one, won't let fear keep me from doing what I know I'm good at. And you won't either. I won't let you."
"Nik..." she stopped him with a finger to his lips. Wrapping her arms around him she held him close. She'd known that at some point all the insecurities and fear awakened by the sudden appearance of his twin brother would take their toll on his sanity. But, damn it, now was as bad a time as any for him to start doubting, not only his own abilities, but hers as well. It would pass, she concluded. He just needed to talk about it; get it all out once and for all and then he'd be all back to normal.
"We've been through too much to give it up now" she whispered near his ear, and Clay simply nodded against her shoulder. If only she knew what he really meant. It wasn't her dying on the job that scared him. Not really. That was just a part of it. It was losing her without ever really having her that haunted his dreams at night. Losing her without ever really having her, just like he'd lost his brother.
"Now, come on spy boy. What do you say we watch that other movie I got?" she cheerfully stated as he shot her a frustrated look.
"Niiiiiik. Not that "Bad Company" movie. Please!"
"Oh, don't be such a baby. It's funny, and you know it. You just don't like it 'cause it reminds you of your days as a new recruit, Webbie boy" Clay groaned at her use of the nickname and Annika simply laughed.
"All right, but you owe me one, Ms. Vranch" he answered already resigned to his fate and watched in silent admiration as Annika stood up and inserted the tape, turning to him and offering a broad grin.
"Clay?"
"Hmm?"
"You need a haircut"
He looked sideways with weary eyes. "Do I, now?"
"Yes"
"I'll make sure and get one before I leave tomorrow." His dead-pan face made her laugh.
"Good" She managed between chuckles.
"Anything else?" His eyebrows rose as he turned fully towards her.
Her smile turned wicked. "Well, you also need a pedicure, but I'll let your mother take care of that."
"Nik!"
Her laughter reached his ears and he couldn't help but join her. It was good to have their friendship back; so good, and yet so frustrating that friendship was all it was. Bittersweet.
TBC
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M, Clay/Annika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: If they belonged to me... no comment. :) JAG is property of DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating on homework...
Author's Note: This story takes place two months after the events of About Us 2. The rest of the information related to LLNL and the different laboratories mentioned, as well as the current research on Nitrogen bond-dissociation is real, although not nearly as advanced as I make it in the story. Believe me, the world would be a whole lot different. Even though chemistry is a passion of mine, Nitrogen compounds is not my area of expertise; but if anyone is interested in further information about anything mentioned on this story, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Many thanks to my betas, who always do such a great job keeping me motivated... you're the best, guys!...
FROM PART 3
"You folks ready for dinner?" Don asked as he approached them, obviously doing his best to hide his apprehension about the latest happenings concerning Dr. Jones' death. Minutes later they were seated at the dining room table, enjoying their dinner when Don began.
"I think it's time we talk about this, people," he spoke as he turned towards Harm and Mac. "I'm sorry to drag you guys into this, but we need you, especially since our main suspect is as Naval Officer" Don stopped to let that sink in and prepared for the lawyers' questions.
"A naval officer? Who?"
PART 4
"Lt. Jason Fleming" Don informed Harm. Mac turned to him and shook her head letting him know she hadn't heard anything about the Lt. either.
"He's requested JAG representation and you two were assigned. I had nothing to do with it, but when I found out you two would be assigned the case, I decided to fill you in and hope you could help, unofficially of course" Don said and waited for Harm and Mac. They nodded their approval and Don continued, taking the four folders he held in his hand and distributing them around to them. Quickly, the foursome scanned the contents.
"Well, Lt. Fleming was found a few blocks from Dr. Jones' home in Livermore. It's a secluded area, his fingerprints turned up on the NCIS report and we believe he had motive."
"Motive?" Harm and Mac asked simultaneously and Clay rolled his eyes. Even their brains are connected, he thought and smiled inwardly.
"Lt. Fleming is Dr. Fleming's nephew. Dr. Fleming was the Physics N Division leader at LLNL, until he was killed eight months ago. Dr. John March was appointed division leader after his death."
"N Division?"
"N-Division is the one that works with atomic, nuclear and particle physics."
"Livermore is one of the laboratories that works with the DoD, right?" Harm asked.
"Right. National Security." Annika's _expression was thoughtful as she gave away the information she had, and after a few seconds of silence she turned to Clay and spoke.
"I don't get it, Clay. Dr. Jones had nothing to do with N Division research. He was the principal investigator on the molecular and chemical toxicology group. He was an environmentalist at heart. As far as I know, Dr. Jones and Dr. Fleming never worked together, and were little more than acquaintances. What are we missing?"
"How about a personal motive? Maybe something happened between Dr. Jones and Dr. Fleming that only Lt. Fleming knows about. After all, him and his uncle were really close." Clay speculated as Annika nodded in understanding.
"That could be. But, you know people around the lab still talk often about Dr. Fleming's death. I heard a few weeks ago a conversation between two doctors and they were talking about Dr. March and how convenient Dr. Fleming's death had been for him" Annika was speaking almost to herself now, and Clay simply thought about her words.
Don interrupted with a long sigh. "It still doesn't tell us how Dr. Jones fits into all this, and I, by no means buy that Dr. Jones' death was an accident or a robbery. Lt. Fleming knew who Dr. Jones was. If he killed him, he had a reason. We just need to find out what it is, and that's what you" Don said motioning to Harm and Mac "are going to try and figure out while you investigate."
"Wait a minute. Who are Dr. Fleming and Dr. March? And why would it be convenient for March that Fleming died? Besides getting his job, of course" Mac asked not liking being so out of the loop. Annika sighed and handed Mac the folder she'd been given by Clay earlier.
"Well, since you'll find out anyway, I'll spare you the research" Annika answered and took a deep breath before starting on with the story.
"Dr. Fleming was the principal investigator on one of the most promising projects that DoD was funding. It had to do with nitrogen bond breaking and of course, this would be crucial to the developing of nuclear weapons, propellants, and explosives. The details of the investigation are still somewhat classified and very complex, but mainly Dr. Fleming's team was very close to finding a way to synthesize what is called a nitrogen fullerene. It would basically be a molecule composed of sixty nitrogen atoms formed from six units of nitrogen rings. Nitrogen exists in nature as a diatomic molecule, and the triple bond that holds it together it's the second strongest in nature. You might remember from your general chemistry that explosions are in theory exothermic reactions that occur when high-energy bonds in molecules are broken, therefore releasing their energy in the form of mostly heat and sound. If it were possible to create a big enough molecule of nitrogen units, that were stable, then the world of explosives would be changed forever. Apparently, Dr. Fleming's lab team was close enough to successfully synthesizing the nitrogen fullerene, and was preparing to present the findings at the upcoming DARPA convention."
"Okay, so Dr. Fleming was murdered, and CIA thinks it had to do with his research" Harm stated as a clarification and Webb nodded before he spoke.
"That's right. We also believe whoever killed him worked at LLNL. Whether they worked for Dr. Fleming or for another lab team, we don't know. There are some facilities within the building that are shared by different research teams."
"Which brings us to the reason I sent Annika undercover to LLNL" Don interrupted Clay and Harm and Mac fixed their eyes on him.
"So that's where Annika's been" Mac whispered as she tried to digest all the information at once.
"Yes" Annika spoke. "I've been working as a first year graduate student in Dr. Jones' lab."
"You have?" Harm and Mac looked at each other.
"Besides being one of the best, if not the best field agent the Agency has, Annika has a Ph.D in Physical Chemistry from Cal Tech" Clay finished, the note of pride unmistakable in his tone.
Annika shrugged under the admiring stares of her friends. "I know my way around a research lab. Dr. Jones' team focuses mostly on biochemistry, but I did an internship in a similar field my junior year in college. After that, I decided physical chemistry was more my thing, but I could still remember enough of it to fit in as a trainee."
"Physical chemistry?" Mac asked frowning, and raised her eyebrows appreciatively at Annika's nod. "Wow. Sounds...boring. No offense."
Annika smiled knowingly. "None taken. It's a common reaction."
"So, your cover is a first year graduate student from..." Harm trailed off awaiting her explanation.
"Nicole Avery. First year graduate student at University of California, Davis. I'm supposed to be at Livermore only for the summer. It's common for PhD students to take off for a summer to different laboratories. That's my cover. It's been working out great so far. Or at least it was until I found out Dr. Jones is dead" Annika finished shaking her head in disbelief.
"Okay, so they found Lt. Fleming near the scene of the crime, and his fingerprints have been confirmed by NCIS. What do we know about Lt. Fleming?"
"His current duty station is NAS North Island. He requested three days leave and rented a car to go up to Livermore, which is about a seven hour drive from San Diego. He's refused to talk to anyone except his lawyer, which is why you are being sent to Livermore first thing in the morning. All the evidence and other possible suspects have already been gathered by NCIS, so you'll need to take your cue from them. AJ will brief you tomorrow morning and you'll be on your way by noon. Don't worry now. AJ knows what's going on and he's given his consent."
"Let me get this straight. We're being sent to California to investigate even though the state of California has already charged Lt. Fleming with murder. Whatever happened to all those jurisdiction talks?" Harm asked with a smirk before taking another bite of his food.
"Oh, PD was more than happy to hand this one over to the Navy. Annika's going back to Livermore on Monday, so you'll probably cross paths with her during your investigation. With all this new excitement around this case, I figured it'd be good for Nik to have a familiar face or two around," Don finished and Annika rolled her eyes indulgently. When would they all stop trying to protect her?
"Aren't you going to be around too, Clay?" Harm asked curiously. After all, Don had brought Clay back from Afghanistan for this. Clay simply looked to Don for approval, and at his nod he spoke.
"We have reason to believe there is someone at LLNL who's just about to make the sell of his or her life," Clay said and waited for the information to sink in the lawyer's heads.
"You mean there's a spy at LLNL?"
"I don't know about a spy. But that could be a possibility as well. At the moment, we're thinking it's someone who's planning to sell the latest technology secrets to FFChem, a chemical company we've been keeping an eye on for a few years now. There have also been threats identified by the DoD concerning the DARPA convention. But that's expected, so we won't worry about that much and hope our security is good enough to prevent the threats from being materialized. However, if the threats are coming from an insider, then we'll have a field day unless we figure out who it is, and fast."
"I thought you were back in Afghanistan tying up loose ends after the Kabir debacle?" Harm said with a frown.
"Everyone did, Harm" Clay answered easily, not risking at glance in Annika's direction. Harm knew better than to be offended by being kept out of the loop. It was for his own protection and he was grateful for that after all. However, he'd seen Annika's fists clench and unclench on the table. He wouldn't have expected a different reaction from Mac. Although Mac would probably be a little more outspoken about it all, he thought. His partner's voice interrupted his musings.
"Okay, that's fair enough. But if we're going to work together on this, we need to know it all, deal? No secrets," Mac stated as she watched Don and Clay hold a private conversation as they held each other's gaze fiercely. Finally, Clay sighed and looked away.
"Deal" was Clay's quiet response and Mac smiled in return. For all of his heartless spook routines, Clay was as warm and considerate a human being as anyone she'd ever known. Circumstances sure challenged that thought in many occasions, but she'd learned to see behind the mask.
"So, you think we have a good chance of catching whoever it is before the convention?"
"I sure hope so" was Annika's only response as she took her plate and headed towards the kitchen. Don and Harm followed her. Mac was the last one to stand up, and noticing Clay was still intent on piercing a hole on the wall, smiled curiously at him.
"Are you okay, Clay?"
"Uh, yeah. Of course. I'm just..."
"Clay, we'll keep an eye on her. She'll be fine."
Clay smiled slightly and ran a hand through his hair as he met Mac's gaze. "Thanks" was all he said and Mac simply nodded and strode out of the dinning room.
CLAYTON WEBB'S APARTMENT
LATER THAT EVENING
"I have to go back in the morning" Clay spoke quietly as Annika switched off the TV after the movie had ended.
"I know" was her casual response and Clay sighed. Her walls were up, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"I need to talk to you, Nik" his words were barely above a whisper, but she heard them all the same.
"Then talk, Webb" she attempted a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Annika, I know you're still mad at me for not telling you what I was doing in Afghanistan, but..."
Annika shook her head in resignation. She'd been holding it in for days now and it just had to come out. It would sooner or later, so she figured she'd get it out of the way.
"Clay, you always know where I am and what I'm doing. If I don't tell you, Don sure as hell does. I don't appreciate being lied to, even if it is because of your misguided ideas that I need to be protected. I want to know what's going on, Clay. Why didn't you tell me? You know damn well it wouldn't have affected my performance undercover. If anything, it would've given me a clue as to what I was looking for. I've been out there for 4 weeks now, simply standing around, trying to feel my way in when I could've had most of this resolved by now if I'd known what the real threat was. Is there something about this investigation you don't trust me with?" her voice was quite but the underlying hurt was more than visible to him, and it tore at his heart.
"No! You know I trust you completely. We've been partners and best friends for seven years, Annika. How can you even ask me that?" His eyes were wide with surprise as much as fear. The woman could turn a drop of rain into a raging storm if he didn't choose his words carefully. And that, he thought, was the reason emotional talks like this one were avoided. For her part, Annika had almost enjoyed the look on his face after her burst of honesty. Almost.
"Power down there, spook. I'm sorry. I know you trust me, as I do you. It's just..." Annika hesitated, knowing it was now or never. She'd been trying to simply follow his lead the past couple of months. But he was confusing the hell out of her, and she'd had enough.
"It's just what?"
"I just don't know how to figure you out anymore, Clay. You've been so unpredictable lately. I don't know what to expect, and I...it just feels like we're back to square one."
"I know. I'm sorry, Nik. I know it's been hard for you. Listen, I know why you took that assignment down in the Caribbean last month, and I'm sorry I didn't stop you. God, you could've been killed and..."
Annika gasped and shot up from the couch. "Clay, stop it. We never talk about this and you know it. Danger is just part of what we do, and we agreed years ago to just roll with it and deal with things as they come." Her hands were a bit shaky, and she cursed under her breath when her attempts at steadying them failed.
"I just... I just don't want to lose you, Annika"
Well, that certainly made her hands stop shaking. She froze. It would've been less surprising if Don called her and told her he'd resigned. Annika was under no illusions that she didn't care for Clay. On a good honest day, she could even admit to herself she loved him. The fact they cared for each other was always understood between them, but it was never spoken of. They didn't dwell on it. At least she didn't. She couldn't afford to.
Clay had been silent ever since his astounding utter, and Annika could almost see the thoughts running around wildly in his head. Taking a deep breath, she neared the couch once again and lowered herself next to him.
"Listen to me, Clay" she stated firmly, taking his hand between both her smaller ones. "I'm gonna say this only once. You and I both love our jobs. We know why we do this, and we also know all the risks that come with it. We are not giving this up because of fear. There are enough people out there who are incapable of handling what we do, but we're not them. We can do this, and we will. Our country needs us to stay objective and to perform our duties to the best of our abilities, and I for one, won't let fear keep me from doing what I know I'm good at. And you won't either. I won't let you."
"Nik..." she stopped him with a finger to his lips. Wrapping her arms around him she held him close. She'd known that at some point all the insecurities and fear awakened by the sudden appearance of his twin brother would take their toll on his sanity. But, damn it, now was as bad a time as any for him to start doubting, not only his own abilities, but hers as well. It would pass, she concluded. He just needed to talk about it; get it all out once and for all and then he'd be all back to normal.
"We've been through too much to give it up now" she whispered near his ear, and Clay simply nodded against her shoulder. If only she knew what he really meant. It wasn't her dying on the job that scared him. Not really. That was just a part of it. It was losing her without ever really having her that haunted his dreams at night. Losing her without ever really having her, just like he'd lost his brother.
"Now, come on spy boy. What do you say we watch that other movie I got?" she cheerfully stated as he shot her a frustrated look.
"Niiiiiik. Not that "Bad Company" movie. Please!"
"Oh, don't be such a baby. It's funny, and you know it. You just don't like it 'cause it reminds you of your days as a new recruit, Webbie boy" Clay groaned at her use of the nickname and Annika simply laughed.
"All right, but you owe me one, Ms. Vranch" he answered already resigned to his fate and watched in silent admiration as Annika stood up and inserted the tape, turning to him and offering a broad grin.
"Clay?"
"Hmm?"
"You need a haircut"
He looked sideways with weary eyes. "Do I, now?"
"Yes"
"I'll make sure and get one before I leave tomorrow." His dead-pan face made her laugh.
"Good" She managed between chuckles.
"Anything else?" His eyebrows rose as he turned fully towards her.
Her smile turned wicked. "Well, you also need a pedicure, but I'll let your mother take care of that."
"Nik!"
Her laughter reached his ears and he couldn't help but join her. It was good to have their friendship back; so good, and yet so frustrating that friendship was all it was. Bittersweet.
TBC