Day 7--
"Well, today's the last day, folks. I hope you've enjoyed our exceedingly odd, exceedingly tiresome program." Draco gave a yawn at the conclusion of his sentence, and looked over at Hermione, who was just watching the monitors blankly.
"Oh.. Yes, er, hope you've enjoyed it. We sure as hell haven't."
A nod from Draco, both ignoring the ' I can't believe you just said that! ' glare that Harry was giving them.
Hermione cast a look of poison in Harry's direction, rolling her eyes. "Oh, come off it! It's not as though you particularly enjoyed this week, either!"
He sighed, and shook his head, standing up. "I don't have to take this shit from you, Hermione. I'm going to go fight Voldemort now." With that, he stomped on out of the studio, down to the dungeons.
--
By the end of the tape, Vincent had stood, realizing what he had to do.
"Tom.. I have to go to the woman I love! I have to tell her the truth! I have to tell her that I'm really Super Man!" He ripped off his clothing, revealing a tight, spandex super hero outfit with an " S " on it before speeding off towards the garden..
Voldemort shook his head, and at that very moment, his arch-nemesis, the famed Harry Potter himself walked in. "Voldemort! I'm really pissed off at Hermione, so I'm going to rip you to shreds!"
Riddel's eyes narrowed, and he let his snakish toungue slip out of his mouth in a hiss. "Just you try, Potter.. LUMOS!"
Harry blinked as a small light filled the dungeon. But then he began to stare with wide eyes in horror as his enemy began to do a strip tease. Harry was paralyzed with a tingling sensation as the Parsletoungue's snake was revealed -- and he fainted.
Tom cackled, dressed, and left -- even if that was the only victory he could ever claim over that Potter child, it had been well worth it.
--
SpitFire06 lay on the floor, bleeding profusely from her feather-duster stab wound. Oliver was weeping over her. "SpitFire06.. darling.. will you make it?"
"I'm.. not sure I can, Oliver."
"Yes you can! Get up!"
"Oliver.. Do you remember the way to the Great Valley?"
"No.. But why do I have to know? You're gonna be there with me!"
"..I'll be with you. Even if you can't see me."
"What do you mean ' if I can't see you '?! I can ALWAYS see you!"
SpitFire06 paused, and sat up, wiping away the blood from the feather-duster paper cut wound. "Oliver? Why are we quoting a scene from The Land Before Time?"
He paused as well, and blinked once or twice. "You know darling, I honestly don't know."
"Well, then." SpitFire06 stood, yawned, and put on her clothing. "Shall we go home now?"
"Of course, darling.." Oliver dressed as well, and the two left Hogwarts.
--
Ron grinned at Padma as he slammed a pink piece down on the game board. "THAT'S IT! I WIN! I'M THE PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!"
Padma laughed, removing the Black Ring which had caused her to lose the game.. Suddenly she paused, looking over at him. "Ron? Why are we playing Pretty Pretty Princess?"
Ron stopped, and blinked.. After a few moments, he shook his head slowly in wonder. "You know, Padma.. I honestly don't know."
"Oh.. Well, then.."
"Yes.."
Suddenly, Ron looked up, his gaze full of meaning. "Padma?"
A blink or two. "Yes, Ron?"
"Will you marry me?"
Padma's eyes sparkled, and she smiled, nodding vigorously. "Oh, darling! Of course I will!"
Ron grinned, taking the purple ring and slipping it on her finger.
She was his Pretty Pretty Princess.
--
Suddenly, Severus sat up in bed, his eyes wide with fear and hatred.
"You bitch! Look what you did! I'm GRANGER!"
Minerva cackled evilly, followed by an evil glare. "Oh, and you didn't do as much!? Look at me! I'm you!"
"You whore.. you're paying for this!" Snape stood, grabbing his wand from his pocket and pointing it at Minerva.
"Watch your mouth, ass wipe." Minerva's own wand was pointed at him.
Suddenly, Barney came in.
"Now kids, let's be nice and make friends!"
"But she/he turned me into Hermione Granger/him!", they whined in unison.
"Well, that's okay! You should all give eachother a big hug and make up!"
"...I don't wanna give her/him a big hug."
Suddenly, they both turned to eachother. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Yoko?"
"Yes, John, I do believe I am."
An evil grin spread across both of their faces.. And suddenly, "Yoko" aka "Snape" aka Minerva McGonagall began singing in that monkey-esque high pitch that frightened everyone so very much. Barney tried to cover his ears, but then he realized that he didn't have ears, and thus could not cover them. A look of pure horror spread over his face, and he began to scream. Slowly but surely, Barney began to melt, until he was just a puddle of purple and green goo on the floor -- with eight yellow toenails, and two white pieces of plastic that had served as the teeth of his upper and lower jaws.
The world automatically became a better place, and all the troubles with the stock market were resolved, and Saddam became an environmentalist.
--
Pansy closed her eyes, and prepared to mutter the final word, when suddenly, she saw something fat fly by: "Is it a pellican?! Is it a helicopter?! No -- it's VINCENT CRABBE!"
A fanfare played as Vincent landed, gathering Pansy up into his arms. "Pansy, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting for me! Will you marry me?!"
Pansy smiled brightly, and shook her head. "Oh, Vincent, of course not. Why would I ever do such a thing? I am, after all, just a stupid sod who wanted to seduce you and then dump you in order to make you suffer!"
Vincent gasped, and dropped her, stumbling backwards before turning and sobbing, running all the way into the forest.
A cackle, and Pansy began to strut like a pigeon in a circle, laughing like Woody the Woodpecker.
--
Loretta suddenly lit up. "Oh, Ah no vat ah vill doo! Ah vill beecomb ah pohrn stah! Yes, ah vill!"
Loretta ran from Hogwarts, all the way to PlayBoy, and became a porn star.
Yes, that is exactly what she did.
She later married a rich old man, and sued his family for over $80,000,000,000, and got her own television show on which she was depicted snorting coke and being obeise.
Oh, yes. She also changed her name to Anna Nicole.
--
Hermione and Draco smiled at eachother as the day finally came to a close. "Well.. that really was aweful, wasn't it."
"Yes, frankly, I don't think that Hogwarts will ever be the same again."
"Nor do I."
Hermione nodded, and passed Draco a pot of espresso, which he promptly downed.
It was the end of a long, long week.
--
A/N -- Don't think it's the end, folks! One more chapter to sum it all up! So don't stop checking back, okay?!
Yemily -- Hey, why is my name part of your name?! .. Uhm. Anyhow. I'm sorry, I completely forgot to check the reviews before writing! ... But we still have one chappie left! Maybe, hm?!
Lady Leilani, my most favouritest reviewer -- Why ever would Harry get Hermione?! This is me we're talking about, right?
SpitFire06 -- Well, there's yer answer!
Kikyos Spirit -- Kikyo, eh? Sounds like Kokyou .. Mm .. Kokyou .. ::Drool:: .. Um, er. Yes, sankyuu for the compliments.
S-Star -- There's some more for ya!
Harry Draco Lover -- OOoooOOOoo.. My story is lipsmackingly good?! .. Hehehe ..
Tigerchu -- Sorry that I didn't write it all that quickly, dude!
Philip -- Thanks for reviewing. ¬ ¬.. ::Mutters angrilly:: .. I should log you off ..
NEXT: WHO KNOWS?! But I can tell you one thing: This is the end.. My only friend, the end..
"Well, today's the last day, folks. I hope you've enjoyed our exceedingly odd, exceedingly tiresome program." Draco gave a yawn at the conclusion of his sentence, and looked over at Hermione, who was just watching the monitors blankly.
"Oh.. Yes, er, hope you've enjoyed it. We sure as hell haven't."
A nod from Draco, both ignoring the ' I can't believe you just said that! ' glare that Harry was giving them.
Hermione cast a look of poison in Harry's direction, rolling her eyes. "Oh, come off it! It's not as though you particularly enjoyed this week, either!"
He sighed, and shook his head, standing up. "I don't have to take this shit from you, Hermione. I'm going to go fight Voldemort now." With that, he stomped on out of the studio, down to the dungeons.
--
By the end of the tape, Vincent had stood, realizing what he had to do.
"Tom.. I have to go to the woman I love! I have to tell her the truth! I have to tell her that I'm really Super Man!" He ripped off his clothing, revealing a tight, spandex super hero outfit with an " S " on it before speeding off towards the garden..
Voldemort shook his head, and at that very moment, his arch-nemesis, the famed Harry Potter himself walked in. "Voldemort! I'm really pissed off at Hermione, so I'm going to rip you to shreds!"
Riddel's eyes narrowed, and he let his snakish toungue slip out of his mouth in a hiss. "Just you try, Potter.. LUMOS!"
Harry blinked as a small light filled the dungeon. But then he began to stare with wide eyes in horror as his enemy began to do a strip tease. Harry was paralyzed with a tingling sensation as the Parsletoungue's snake was revealed -- and he fainted.
Tom cackled, dressed, and left -- even if that was the only victory he could ever claim over that Potter child, it had been well worth it.
--
SpitFire06 lay on the floor, bleeding profusely from her feather-duster stab wound. Oliver was weeping over her. "SpitFire06.. darling.. will you make it?"
"I'm.. not sure I can, Oliver."
"Yes you can! Get up!"
"Oliver.. Do you remember the way to the Great Valley?"
"No.. But why do I have to know? You're gonna be there with me!"
"..I'll be with you. Even if you can't see me."
"What do you mean ' if I can't see you '?! I can ALWAYS see you!"
SpitFire06 paused, and sat up, wiping away the blood from the feather-duster paper cut wound. "Oliver? Why are we quoting a scene from The Land Before Time?"
He paused as well, and blinked once or twice. "You know darling, I honestly don't know."
"Well, then." SpitFire06 stood, yawned, and put on her clothing. "Shall we go home now?"
"Of course, darling.." Oliver dressed as well, and the two left Hogwarts.
--
Ron grinned at Padma as he slammed a pink piece down on the game board. "THAT'S IT! I WIN! I'M THE PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!"
Padma laughed, removing the Black Ring which had caused her to lose the game.. Suddenly she paused, looking over at him. "Ron? Why are we playing Pretty Pretty Princess?"
Ron stopped, and blinked.. After a few moments, he shook his head slowly in wonder. "You know, Padma.. I honestly don't know."
"Oh.. Well, then.."
"Yes.."
Suddenly, Ron looked up, his gaze full of meaning. "Padma?"
A blink or two. "Yes, Ron?"
"Will you marry me?"
Padma's eyes sparkled, and she smiled, nodding vigorously. "Oh, darling! Of course I will!"
Ron grinned, taking the purple ring and slipping it on her finger.
She was his Pretty Pretty Princess.
--
Suddenly, Severus sat up in bed, his eyes wide with fear and hatred.
"You bitch! Look what you did! I'm GRANGER!"
Minerva cackled evilly, followed by an evil glare. "Oh, and you didn't do as much!? Look at me! I'm you!"
"You whore.. you're paying for this!" Snape stood, grabbing his wand from his pocket and pointing it at Minerva.
"Watch your mouth, ass wipe." Minerva's own wand was pointed at him.
Suddenly, Barney came in.
"Now kids, let's be nice and make friends!"
"But she/he turned me into Hermione Granger/him!", they whined in unison.
"Well, that's okay! You should all give eachother a big hug and make up!"
"...I don't wanna give her/him a big hug."
Suddenly, they both turned to eachother. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Yoko?"
"Yes, John, I do believe I am."
An evil grin spread across both of their faces.. And suddenly, "Yoko" aka "Snape" aka Minerva McGonagall began singing in that monkey-esque high pitch that frightened everyone so very much. Barney tried to cover his ears, but then he realized that he didn't have ears, and thus could not cover them. A look of pure horror spread over his face, and he began to scream. Slowly but surely, Barney began to melt, until he was just a puddle of purple and green goo on the floor -- with eight yellow toenails, and two white pieces of plastic that had served as the teeth of his upper and lower jaws.
The world automatically became a better place, and all the troubles with the stock market were resolved, and Saddam became an environmentalist.
--
Pansy closed her eyes, and prepared to mutter the final word, when suddenly, she saw something fat fly by: "Is it a pellican?! Is it a helicopter?! No -- it's VINCENT CRABBE!"
A fanfare played as Vincent landed, gathering Pansy up into his arms. "Pansy, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting for me! Will you marry me?!"
Pansy smiled brightly, and shook her head. "Oh, Vincent, of course not. Why would I ever do such a thing? I am, after all, just a stupid sod who wanted to seduce you and then dump you in order to make you suffer!"
Vincent gasped, and dropped her, stumbling backwards before turning and sobbing, running all the way into the forest.
A cackle, and Pansy began to strut like a pigeon in a circle, laughing like Woody the Woodpecker.
--
Loretta suddenly lit up. "Oh, Ah no vat ah vill doo! Ah vill beecomb ah pohrn stah! Yes, ah vill!"
Loretta ran from Hogwarts, all the way to PlayBoy, and became a porn star.
Yes, that is exactly what she did.
She later married a rich old man, and sued his family for over $80,000,000,000, and got her own television show on which she was depicted snorting coke and being obeise.
Oh, yes. She also changed her name to Anna Nicole.
--
Hermione and Draco smiled at eachother as the day finally came to a close. "Well.. that really was aweful, wasn't it."
"Yes, frankly, I don't think that Hogwarts will ever be the same again."
"Nor do I."
Hermione nodded, and passed Draco a pot of espresso, which he promptly downed.
It was the end of a long, long week.
--
A/N -- Don't think it's the end, folks! One more chapter to sum it all up! So don't stop checking back, okay?!
Yemily -- Hey, why is my name part of your name?! .. Uhm. Anyhow. I'm sorry, I completely forgot to check the reviews before writing! ... But we still have one chappie left! Maybe, hm?!
Lady Leilani, my most favouritest reviewer -- Why ever would Harry get Hermione?! This is me we're talking about, right?
SpitFire06 -- Well, there's yer answer!
Kikyos Spirit -- Kikyo, eh? Sounds like Kokyou .. Mm .. Kokyou .. ::Drool:: .. Um, er. Yes, sankyuu for the compliments.
S-Star -- There's some more for ya!
Harry Draco Lover -- OOoooOOOoo.. My story is lipsmackingly good?! .. Hehehe ..
Tigerchu -- Sorry that I didn't write it all that quickly, dude!
Philip -- Thanks for reviewing. ¬ ¬.. ::Mutters angrilly:: .. I should log you off ..
NEXT: WHO KNOWS?! But I can tell you one thing: This is the end.. My only friend, the end..