And on vit ze story..
Proofreader: Hey wait how about introducing me as your new proof reader? No? Well then I'll just have to introduced myself. Hi there I'm Nuckpang's proofreader, it's my job to fix his spelling errors and horrible grammar. Yes it is a hard job but I'm willing to it because he's paying me a lot of money and unlike other proof reader's like my own for example I don't have severe delusions of grandeur so on with the story.
Nuckpang: I already zaid zhat! And it's about zime u showed up!
Proofreader: Oh shut up.
In a doorway in Mos Esily.
C3PO: How did I ever get stuck with you?
R2D2: Beep (cabbage)
C3PO: What?
R2D2: Beep (Sorry, it just seemed a fun thing to say.)
C3PO: Well talk some sense.
R2D2: Beep (Fine then.)
C3PO: ....Well?
R2D2: Beep (Well what?)
C3PO: I want an answer to my rhetorical question!
R2D2: Beep (It's a shame we don't always get what we want isn't it? For example I really want that new Macintosh that's just been released...*bursts into hysterical laughter*)
C3PO: HAHAHA, good one!
R2D2: Beep (I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, I really would like to apologise to all the good people at Macintosh computers for that..which shouldn't take long, cause there are NO good people at Macintosh computers.)
C3PO: Quick, they're coming!
R2D2: Beep (Bugger! *Closes the door*)
A group of men are running down the road, on their coats there is a symbol of an apple with a bite taken out of it.
Apple guy1: Come on, we'll find them, and teach them to make fun of us! Apple guy2: Yeah!
Apple guy3: *knocks on the door C3PO and R2D2 are hiding behind* there's no answer, whoever is hiding behind this door doesn't feel like opening it.move on to the next one.
They walk off down the street.
R2D2: *Opens the door* Beep (phew, that was close.)
C3PO: Yeah, lucky for us they can hunt people down just as well as they can make computers. Hahaha!
R2D2: Beep (Hahaha, good one.)
Old woman: *walks up behind them* em, I'm sorry, but what are you doing in my house?
C3PO: Er, I don't know actually. Sorry, we'll go.
Old woman: Oh no, do stay and have a cup tea, and a couple of biscuits.
C3PO: No, I'm afraid that if we don't leave right now, we'll probably miss our flight and end up spending the rest of lives on this barren rock of a planet...wait, what kind of biscuits?
R2D2: Beep (Actually, we won't have any tea.*a slot opens and a gun extends* but we will have your money, silverware, electronic equipment and anything else of value in the house, just pop it all in a nice non-discreet bag for us please, thank you so much.)
As we join our heroes Luke is forced to make a heart-rending decision and Obi-wan is in the grip of great terror!
Luke: Alright, I'll take it. wait, does it come in pink?
Obi-wan: Oh comes on, it'll be enough.
A/N: Well, not really GREAT terror, but he's a bit miffed.
Luke: But I really think it would look so very good in pink, it would go well with my new tellytubbys T-shirt.
Shopkeeper: Actually we do have it in pink.
Luke: Yippee, what a gonzo colour!
Obi-wan: *Shudders* he gets it from his father.
Luke: Oh fine then, let's go. Obi-wan: About bloody time! We've been here for the last hour, just trying to decide between a brown poncho and a slightly less brown poncho!.and you picked the PINK!?!?! I'm this close to shoving my light sabre where the sun don't shine *squeezes his fingers together*
Luke: *Choking* urgh.your.fingers.
Obi-wan: *Looks down to see he's doing the Vader choke.thing* opps *releases him(.slightly reluctantly)* Come on, we're late! He'll probably have left already!
Luke: Oh don't worry, they haven't even done the scene between Jabba and Han yet! Look! *points*
Jabba: Solo! Get out here solo!
Han: Right here Jabba, you didn't think I'd run, did you?
Jabba: Actually I did, we even had a betting pool going, and right now I'd owe all of them a lot of money, if the bet hadn't been called off at the last minute.
Bounty hunter: Who called it off?
Jabba: I did
Bounty hunter: When?
Jabba: The second he walked in. Now, Han my boy! How are you?
Han: I'm fine actually, I had a bit of a cold the last few days, but I'm over it now and-
Jabba: Oh shut up! It wasn't meant to be taken seriously! I don't give a damn about how you feel.
Han: Then why did you ask?
Jabba: I was just being nice and polite.
Han: I thought you came here to kill me?
Jabba: Yes. but I was going to do it in a very polite way.
Han: Oh, I see. Thank you very much.
Jabba: Now, Han my boy, why haven't you paid me?
Han: Now Jabba, I have a perfectly good reason.I spent it all on booze and woman....and the odd man, but they were dressed up VERY convincingly, I never knew.honest. But I've got a nice easy charter now, I'll pay you back, plus a little extra, I just need a little more time.
Jabba: Han my boy.
Han: Why do you keep calling me that?
Jabba: I have very strong parental feelings towards you, I don't have any kids of my own..well, none that I didn't eat while they were small slugs. but even so I like to think of you as a sort of son. *Sniff*
Han: Oh, Jabba, I've always loved you like a father..right up to the time when you tried to have me killed.
Jabba: Yeah, I thought you might be a bit pissed about that.
Han: Oh I ain't pissed, if your looking for someone who IS pissed then look no further then Chewie over there.
Chewie: *Slumped against a wall with a bottle of vodka in his.paw. * AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (*singing.badly* oh I'm a lumberjack, n I'm okay.I wish I was a girlie like my dear Papa.so I could wear a skirt, suspenders and a bra)
Jabba: Er.okay, I'll give you a little longer, but after that. your ass is mine.
Han: Jabba, you're a wonderful human being.
Jabba: *Shocked* No, I'm not! Now clear off!
Han: Okey dokey. *Walks off into the millennium albatross*
Boba Fett: *walks past the camera dramatically* I can't belive this is my only appearance in this film, just this tiny bloody cameo! *Walks off*
Luke and Obi-wan are walking towards the hanger bay, they enter it to see Han and Chewie fixing the ship.
Han: *Singing* hi ho, hi ho, repairing the ship with Moe, while singing in time to a crappy rhyme, hi ho, hi ho..hmm, still needs a bit of work before I release it to launch my singing career.
Chewie: *Removing earplugs* ARRRRRRR [looky looky, the old guy and the poof is here]
Han: Ah crap. Oh well, come on, get in and we'll take off...oh look at that, some storm troopers have come to say goodbye to you, ain't that nice. Look at them pointing at you.with their guns.
Obi-wan: Oh bugger. *dives into the ship*
Stormtrooper: Don't let them get away! Especially the one with that fine, sweet, hot ars-.coat of hair. *opens fire*
They (not the stormtroopers, the other lads) all run into the ship and fire up the engines, which just happen to be pointing at the stormtroopers, frying them all as they do, and then off they fly into space.
Inside the millennium albatross Luke and Chewie are playing holo-strip poker.Luke is winning, (hundreds of jawas: NOOOOO).
Luke: Hey, I thought the droids were meant to be doing this.
Obi-wan: The droids.. oh crap.
Behind a door in Mos Esily a pair of slightly.tinny voices can be heard.
R2D2: Beep (I told you it was a bad idea)
C3PO: Well at least they can't get in.
R2D2: Beep (well, that's true at least, but the downside to you flushing the key down the toilet, is that, now, WE CAN'T GET OUT!!!!!)
C3PO: .....well, you could look at it like that..I suppose.
One quick trip to the locksmiths later.
Luke: Well, we have the droids and we're heading out into space, everything is EXACTLY as it should be and there is absolutely nothing that can go wrong! *Nods happily*
Obi-wan: *Stares in disbelief* YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!!!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL???????
Han: *Runs in* you'd better strap yourselves in, there's a pair of star destroyers coming up on us. *Runs out again*
Obi-wan: Now look what you've done!
Luke: How is this my fault?
Obi-wan: YOU TEMPTED FATE!!!!
Luke: Oh...that..yeah, I suppose...oh well, I'm off to the cockpit to see if I can be any help by pointing out all the funny little things that they're doing wrong. *Walks out*
Obi-wan: I'm going to kill him, to hell with him being our New Hope, I can't take much more of this! *Runs out after him*
In the cockpit (hehehe, pit)
Han: Angle a deflector shield and try to hold them off!
Chewie: ARF ARF ARF [at what angle?]
Han: Huh?
Chewie: ARRRRRRR [what angle do you want the deflector shield at?]
Han: What are you talking about?
Chewie: ARRRR [you told me to angle a deflector shield, and I want to know what angle you want the deflector shield at!]
Han: Just get a shield up, ok!
Luke: *skips in* hi every body!
Everybody: Hi Mr. Luke!...er..what did I just say? And why?
Han: Probably because of quantum.
Luke: They're gaining on us!
Han: Oh shut up, we'll lose them once we make the jump into hyper space.
Luke: No, I mean, your being outrun by a star destroyer!
Han: .yeah, and?
Luke: Haven't you ever played x-wing, or tie fighter, or any of the other games with star destroyers in them?
Han: Er.maybe.
Luke: And star destroyers go, how fast?
Jar jar binks: *pops his head around the door* ah, yousa point, well seen *runs off*
Han: *looks back at the controls* oh, right *sheepishly* baaaa, I mean oh, I forgot to turn on the engine. *sticks the key in, and revs up the engine*
They fly off, leaving the star destroyer far behind. But are these star destroyers the only peril our heroes will face? Or is it just the begi- yadda yadda yadda, you know how it goes.
Proof reader: Well there it is my first proofread chapter and think I got most of the major mistakes. Go me! Oh and by the way I was just skimming through the Lord of the Rings section and came across the work of an author by the name of Kid Phoenix who's work is just FANTASTIC so read and review his stories the minute you get finished reading and reviewing this story! Adieu ! Until the next chapter.
Proofreader: Hey wait how about introducing me as your new proof reader? No? Well then I'll just have to introduced myself. Hi there I'm Nuckpang's proofreader, it's my job to fix his spelling errors and horrible grammar. Yes it is a hard job but I'm willing to it because he's paying me a lot of money and unlike other proof reader's like my own for example I don't have severe delusions of grandeur so on with the story.
Nuckpang: I already zaid zhat! And it's about zime u showed up!
Proofreader: Oh shut up.
In a doorway in Mos Esily.
C3PO: How did I ever get stuck with you?
R2D2: Beep (cabbage)
C3PO: What?
R2D2: Beep (Sorry, it just seemed a fun thing to say.)
C3PO: Well talk some sense.
R2D2: Beep (Fine then.)
C3PO: ....Well?
R2D2: Beep (Well what?)
C3PO: I want an answer to my rhetorical question!
R2D2: Beep (It's a shame we don't always get what we want isn't it? For example I really want that new Macintosh that's just been released...*bursts into hysterical laughter*)
C3PO: HAHAHA, good one!
R2D2: Beep (I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, I really would like to apologise to all the good people at Macintosh computers for that..which shouldn't take long, cause there are NO good people at Macintosh computers.)
C3PO: Quick, they're coming!
R2D2: Beep (Bugger! *Closes the door*)
A group of men are running down the road, on their coats there is a symbol of an apple with a bite taken out of it.
Apple guy1: Come on, we'll find them, and teach them to make fun of us! Apple guy2: Yeah!
Apple guy3: *knocks on the door C3PO and R2D2 are hiding behind* there's no answer, whoever is hiding behind this door doesn't feel like opening it.move on to the next one.
They walk off down the street.
R2D2: *Opens the door* Beep (phew, that was close.)
C3PO: Yeah, lucky for us they can hunt people down just as well as they can make computers. Hahaha!
R2D2: Beep (Hahaha, good one.)
Old woman: *walks up behind them* em, I'm sorry, but what are you doing in my house?
C3PO: Er, I don't know actually. Sorry, we'll go.
Old woman: Oh no, do stay and have a cup tea, and a couple of biscuits.
C3PO: No, I'm afraid that if we don't leave right now, we'll probably miss our flight and end up spending the rest of lives on this barren rock of a planet...wait, what kind of biscuits?
R2D2: Beep (Actually, we won't have any tea.*a slot opens and a gun extends* but we will have your money, silverware, electronic equipment and anything else of value in the house, just pop it all in a nice non-discreet bag for us please, thank you so much.)
As we join our heroes Luke is forced to make a heart-rending decision and Obi-wan is in the grip of great terror!
Luke: Alright, I'll take it. wait, does it come in pink?
Obi-wan: Oh comes on, it'll be enough.
A/N: Well, not really GREAT terror, but he's a bit miffed.
Luke: But I really think it would look so very good in pink, it would go well with my new tellytubbys T-shirt.
Shopkeeper: Actually we do have it in pink.
Luke: Yippee, what a gonzo colour!
Obi-wan: *Shudders* he gets it from his father.
Luke: Oh fine then, let's go. Obi-wan: About bloody time! We've been here for the last hour, just trying to decide between a brown poncho and a slightly less brown poncho!.and you picked the PINK!?!?! I'm this close to shoving my light sabre where the sun don't shine *squeezes his fingers together*
Luke: *Choking* urgh.your.fingers.
Obi-wan: *Looks down to see he's doing the Vader choke.thing* opps *releases him(.slightly reluctantly)* Come on, we're late! He'll probably have left already!
Luke: Oh don't worry, they haven't even done the scene between Jabba and Han yet! Look! *points*
Jabba: Solo! Get out here solo!
Han: Right here Jabba, you didn't think I'd run, did you?
Jabba: Actually I did, we even had a betting pool going, and right now I'd owe all of them a lot of money, if the bet hadn't been called off at the last minute.
Bounty hunter: Who called it off?
Jabba: I did
Bounty hunter: When?
Jabba: The second he walked in. Now, Han my boy! How are you?
Han: I'm fine actually, I had a bit of a cold the last few days, but I'm over it now and-
Jabba: Oh shut up! It wasn't meant to be taken seriously! I don't give a damn about how you feel.
Han: Then why did you ask?
Jabba: I was just being nice and polite.
Han: I thought you came here to kill me?
Jabba: Yes. but I was going to do it in a very polite way.
Han: Oh, I see. Thank you very much.
Jabba: Now, Han my boy, why haven't you paid me?
Han: Now Jabba, I have a perfectly good reason.I spent it all on booze and woman....and the odd man, but they were dressed up VERY convincingly, I never knew.honest. But I've got a nice easy charter now, I'll pay you back, plus a little extra, I just need a little more time.
Jabba: Han my boy.
Han: Why do you keep calling me that?
Jabba: I have very strong parental feelings towards you, I don't have any kids of my own..well, none that I didn't eat while they were small slugs. but even so I like to think of you as a sort of son. *Sniff*
Han: Oh, Jabba, I've always loved you like a father..right up to the time when you tried to have me killed.
Jabba: Yeah, I thought you might be a bit pissed about that.
Han: Oh I ain't pissed, if your looking for someone who IS pissed then look no further then Chewie over there.
Chewie: *Slumped against a wall with a bottle of vodka in his.paw. * AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (*singing.badly* oh I'm a lumberjack, n I'm okay.I wish I was a girlie like my dear Papa.so I could wear a skirt, suspenders and a bra)
Jabba: Er.okay, I'll give you a little longer, but after that. your ass is mine.
Han: Jabba, you're a wonderful human being.
Jabba: *Shocked* No, I'm not! Now clear off!
Han: Okey dokey. *Walks off into the millennium albatross*
Boba Fett: *walks past the camera dramatically* I can't belive this is my only appearance in this film, just this tiny bloody cameo! *Walks off*
Luke and Obi-wan are walking towards the hanger bay, they enter it to see Han and Chewie fixing the ship.
Han: *Singing* hi ho, hi ho, repairing the ship with Moe, while singing in time to a crappy rhyme, hi ho, hi ho..hmm, still needs a bit of work before I release it to launch my singing career.
Chewie: *Removing earplugs* ARRRRRRR [looky looky, the old guy and the poof is here]
Han: Ah crap. Oh well, come on, get in and we'll take off...oh look at that, some storm troopers have come to say goodbye to you, ain't that nice. Look at them pointing at you.with their guns.
Obi-wan: Oh bugger. *dives into the ship*
Stormtrooper: Don't let them get away! Especially the one with that fine, sweet, hot ars-.coat of hair. *opens fire*
They (not the stormtroopers, the other lads) all run into the ship and fire up the engines, which just happen to be pointing at the stormtroopers, frying them all as they do, and then off they fly into space.
Inside the millennium albatross Luke and Chewie are playing holo-strip poker.Luke is winning, (hundreds of jawas: NOOOOO).
Luke: Hey, I thought the droids were meant to be doing this.
Obi-wan: The droids.. oh crap.
Behind a door in Mos Esily a pair of slightly.tinny voices can be heard.
R2D2: Beep (I told you it was a bad idea)
C3PO: Well at least they can't get in.
R2D2: Beep (well, that's true at least, but the downside to you flushing the key down the toilet, is that, now, WE CAN'T GET OUT!!!!!)
C3PO: .....well, you could look at it like that..I suppose.
One quick trip to the locksmiths later.
Luke: Well, we have the droids and we're heading out into space, everything is EXACTLY as it should be and there is absolutely nothing that can go wrong! *Nods happily*
Obi-wan: *Stares in disbelief* YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!!!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL???????
Han: *Runs in* you'd better strap yourselves in, there's a pair of star destroyers coming up on us. *Runs out again*
Obi-wan: Now look what you've done!
Luke: How is this my fault?
Obi-wan: YOU TEMPTED FATE!!!!
Luke: Oh...that..yeah, I suppose...oh well, I'm off to the cockpit to see if I can be any help by pointing out all the funny little things that they're doing wrong. *Walks out*
Obi-wan: I'm going to kill him, to hell with him being our New Hope, I can't take much more of this! *Runs out after him*
In the cockpit (hehehe, pit)
Han: Angle a deflector shield and try to hold them off!
Chewie: ARF ARF ARF [at what angle?]
Han: Huh?
Chewie: ARRRRRRR [what angle do you want the deflector shield at?]
Han: What are you talking about?
Chewie: ARRRR [you told me to angle a deflector shield, and I want to know what angle you want the deflector shield at!]
Han: Just get a shield up, ok!
Luke: *skips in* hi every body!
Everybody: Hi Mr. Luke!...er..what did I just say? And why?
Han: Probably because of quantum.
Luke: They're gaining on us!
Han: Oh shut up, we'll lose them once we make the jump into hyper space.
Luke: No, I mean, your being outrun by a star destroyer!
Han: .yeah, and?
Luke: Haven't you ever played x-wing, or tie fighter, or any of the other games with star destroyers in them?
Han: Er.maybe.
Luke: And star destroyers go, how fast?
Jar jar binks: *pops his head around the door* ah, yousa point, well seen *runs off*
Han: *looks back at the controls* oh, right *sheepishly* baaaa, I mean oh, I forgot to turn on the engine. *sticks the key in, and revs up the engine*
They fly off, leaving the star destroyer far behind. But are these star destroyers the only peril our heroes will face? Or is it just the begi- yadda yadda yadda, you know how it goes.
Proof reader: Well there it is my first proofread chapter and think I got most of the major mistakes. Go me! Oh and by the way I was just skimming through the Lord of the Rings section and came across the work of an author by the name of Kid Phoenix who's work is just FANTASTIC so read and review his stories the minute you get finished reading and reviewing this story! Adieu ! Until the next chapter.