ABOUT US 3: The Good And The Bad 6/14


Author: LeE

e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com

Classification: Romance H/M, Clay/Annika

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimers: If they belonged to me... no comment. :) JAG is property of DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating on homework...

Author's Note: This story takes place two months after the events of About Us 2. The rest of the information related to LLNL and the different laboratories mentioned, as well as the current research on Nitrogen bond-dissociation is real, although not nearly as advanced as I make it in the story. Believe me, the world would be a whole lot different. Even though chemistry is a passion of mine, Nitrogen compounds is not my area of expertise; but if anyone is interested in further information about anything mentioned on this story, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Many thanks to my betas, who always do such a great job keeping me motivated... you're the best, guys!...

FROM PART 5

"They're in love."

"I know. It's just that their relationship can get a little...uhh...intense at times." Clay spoke with a grin spreading on his face. He was genuinely happy for his friends. Didn't mean he couldn't exercise his right to mess with them every now and then.

"Intense sounds like watts per square meter to me." She turned to hide her smile from him.

He groaned. "Don't start. I hate chemistry."

"That's not chemistry. That's physics." Score one for the redhead.

"Same thing."

"Now that's blasphemy" Her brow was furrowed, but her eyes were full of laughter.

"Aaaaaaannnika...."

Annika turned and regarded him with a raised eyebrow, deciding to let him off the hoof for now. "Stop whining and get moving. I'm hungry."

"Good Lord, thank you!" Annika's laughter followed him out of the office.
PART 6

LIVERMORE, CA
2035 PT

Harm made his way, slowly towards the door that connected his room to Mac's. Standing in the doorway, he took a moment to admire the woman lying on the bed. The soft white sheets were tangled lightly with her arms and legs as she occupied the left side of the bed. The gentle stream of moonlight bathed the exposed skin of her neck and face and Harm shifted from one foot to another as he tried to decide what to do. Should he simply leave her to sleep peacefully like she was now? Or should he indulge himself and join her?

"Hmmm, Harm?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Come here" was her garbled command and at once he was at her side. Slowly she turned and gracefully wrapped herself around him, loving the feeling of security she always found in his arms. Careful not to move too much, Harm brought her closer to him as his arms snaked around her and lifted her slowly towards him until she was sprawled on top of him. Lifting her head slightly, Mac smiled in recognition of the familiar gesture as she placed a gentle kiss on his chin.

"Sleep, baby" he whispered against her hair and she sighed contentedly, surrendering to the blissfulness of sleep in his arms.

Harm was anything but sleepy. Minutes before he'd finished talking to Annika and she'd had some important things to say that he needed to discuss with Mac. But that could wait until later after she got some sleep. Even though she'd said otherwise, he knew she hadn't been sleeping all that much lately with his restlessness at night. They didn't really spend every night together, but the past week they'd needed each other too much to deny themselves the comfort of each other's arms. Comfort. How he wished her comfort was all he needed right now.

Where had it all started? If he were to really be honest with himself, he'd have to say it started the year before, after his crash the night before her wedding. Those numerous hours spent in the cold stormy Atlantic Ocean had given him enough time to think through some things. Once again, flying had put him in a life or death situation. Once again, flying had come between him and Mac. If he hadn't had his quals as an excuse, maybe he would've been brave enough to talk to Mac before the wedding. Maybe he wouldn't have needed those months of recovery afterwards and she wouldn't have run to the Indian Ocean trying to get away from him. She wouldn't have been almost killed at the Embassy, he would've broken up with Renee instead of stringing her along that long. But there were too many what ifs to deal with now.

Closing his eyes he remembered the day he'd told Mac he loved her. He remembered kissing her in the middle of her office. He remembered the talk they'd had later that night. He remembered her telling him how proud of him she was. How she loved him, all of him. He'd insisted on giving up flying so they could have a future together, and she'd vehemently argued that flying was a part of him and that she loved Harm the fighter pilot as much as she loved Harm the lawyer. He'd thought it a little weird that she'd take that position, especially after all that had happened between them after he returned to flying a few years back. His change of designator was the root of all their communication problems. It was the reason they'd distanced themselves; the reason the awkwardness and hesitancy had woven their way through their friendship until there had been nothing left but polite greetings at the office. Why had she been so hell bent on him not giving up flying?

That was something he'd need to talk to her about someday, but for now, he needed to figure out why his upcoming quals were causing such a mental havoc. Yes. He figured his quals were part of the reason he had one foot in that padded cell at Bethesda. His latest nightmare had hinted at it, and the apprehension he'd felt while flying that morning had confirmed it. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to get a handle on it once again.

Thoughts racing, hands shaking slightly, Harm fought the urge to run. His rational side was telling him that Mac didn't deserve a washed up jet jock like himself who could do nothing but keep her awake at night with his nightmares and problems. But his heart spoke differently, telling him that Mac loved him; that whatever happened to him she would want to help with; that nothing could hurt her worse than him shutting her out. And that's exactly what he was doing. He was shutting her out; refusing to let her in completely for fear of hurting her. Was that really what scared him? His mind told him it was, but his heart said otherwise. He already knew shutting her out would hurt her worse than anything he could do. Then why didn't he let her in? Did he want to hurt Mac? God no! What was it then?

LIVERMORE, CA
SATURDAY, JUNE 8, 2002
0204 PT

"Oh God, Michael" she moaned as he moved above her. It had taken her some time to convince him, but finally she'd gotten him where she wanted him. Now he was driving her crazy with desire, and she could swear she'd do anything for him. Anything. Not that she hadn't already. What he'd asked of her earlier that week was sure a big thing, but if it got her to the place she was now, she didn't care. She'd do it over in a heartbeat.

Michael closed his eyes as his breathing slowed. Sex was okay with her. Not really a scene from a romance novel, but he could live with it. Her, on the other hand, worshipped him, and he patted himself on the back for making this choice. Having her back in his life was the best thing he'd ever done. He'd figure out how to get rid of her sooner or later.

Michael Ashton wasn't entirely proud of what he was doing. Somewhere deep down, he could still hear the Minister's voice on Sundays at church as he talked about loving one another, even as he tried to convince himself he was doing the world a favor by hating.

Michael's father had been a devoted church member, and had done his best to instill those beliefs in his son. He worshipped his father, and anything his father did was good in his eyes. There wasn't much Dr. Jeffrey Ashton did wrong. He'd devoted his life to being the best person he could be. He was a caring father, a loving husband, and a prominent scientist. Michael admired his father, and had worked hard to follow in his footsteps. What had become of him after his father's death no one would have ever guessed.

She just lay there afterwards, once again berating herself for being so weak; for lacking the strength to say no; for lacking the self-esteem to refuse him and send him on his way. But after waiting all those years to have him, she couldn't let it end so fast. She was under no illusions that he loved her. He probably didn't even like her. No one did. But he was willing to sleep with her. He was willing to have sex with her, to share with her the most intimate of moments between two people. So what if he didn't love her? What if he didn't even like her? He needed her, and that was the best feeling she'd ever had. Michael Ashton needed her.

Without another word, he raised from the bed as she admired his naked form across the room. She rose as well, but he didn't bother to look. There was nothing there he liked, nothing at all.

LLNL
MONDAY JUNE 10, 2002
0934 PT

It was an ordinary day; the start of another week. Another week that would see lab meetings, deadlines, successes as well as frustrations. But along with all the normal every day happenings, Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory would experience the aftermath of another loss. The changes had not been easy to get used to eight months ago after Dr. Fleming's brutal death. It was different when a scientist transferred, or resigned, or even when a co-worker was fired. Death, however, was not as easy to get past.

Change was a common thing at the laboratory, as it is in every competitive institution. But change can be a good thing or a bad thing. Change can mean progress as well as regression. No one would doubt that Dr. March's performance as head of N Division since Dr. Fleming's death was more than acceptable. The project had barely fallen behind on schedule by a few weeks, and was now moving ahead satisfactorily towards a successful unveiling at the DARPA convention in a few weeks. Now it was a matter of time until it could be decided whether Dr. Jones' death would be handled with the same spirit as Dr. Fleming's.

As these thoughts ran across her mind, Annika made her way through the main hallway at the place that had become her second home the past month. Slowing down her hurried steps, she reached the main entrance and looking once over her shoulder to utter a quick greeting to the guard, she punched in her code. A familiar beeping noise was heard, and the heavy metal door opened slowly to allow her access.

A few more seconds and she was at her workbench, glancing around to make sure everything was in order. A general lab meeting had been called for ten o'clock that morning and with a swift look at the clock she noticed she had a few minutes until then. Her lab notebook was back where it always was after Dr. Jones had examined it the week before. She remembered it had already been in its right place on Wednesday night when she'd managed to skirt around security to check out Dr. March's office one last time.

At the time, she had been oblivious to Dr. Jones' death earlier that afternoon, and she had simply followed her usual routine. Using Dr. March's entrance code, she had sneaked in and gone over his research files. Notes were written in scrambled patterns in the different labeled lab notebooks Dr. March kept locked in his safe box. They all contained the original data from Dr. Fleming's research on nitrogen bond breaking. Starting with computer models of the nitrogen fullerene, on to more palpable data, until recent notebooks held the secrets of the synthesis of possibly the most important molecule in the history of nitrogen chemistry. She'd studied the information for hours, until her watch had informed her with subtle vibrations that it was time to go. Almost four in the morning. She'd taken her time to put everything away the exact same way she'd found it and right before closing the door to leave she'd seen a picture of Dr. March and Dr. Fleming, shaking hands at a national chemistry meeting a few years before. Annika had smiled sadly. March couldn't have had anything to do with Fleming's death.

Now, sitting in her chair, the sound of footsteps brought her back from her thoughts and she turned to see the familiar face approach her bench.

"Planning on being late to the meeting, Nicole?"

"Oh, not at all" Annika answered with a smile. "I was just sitting here thinking over some things. How was your weekend?" she asked nicely as she picked up her paper pad and a pen.

"Good. Still can't believe Dr. Jones won't be around anymore" he said, looking genuinely saddened and Annika simply nodded.

"I know what you mean. It's hard to believe someone could do that to him. Such a nice man, and an exceptional scientist too" Annika said thoughtfully, watching casually for his reaction. No one was above her suspicions when it came to this lab.

"Yes. A shame" he answered with a shake of his head. Annika simply watched him as he stared off down the hall. He was tall, but not too tall. Then again there weren't too many men shorter than her, she thought with an inward smile. His hair was a light shade of blonde, and his piercing blue eyes were apparently his most endearing attribute. At least she'd heard as much from the women around the lab. Incredible the things you could find out at lunch time around here, she thought.

He was polite, charming, and very talkative; not to be considered a big mouth, though. He knew what to talk about, and had a reputation for never speaking without thinking first. His oral presentations at lab meetings were held in high regards by most of the staff at the institution, and like him, his father before him had followed the path of research, having being a key player in many of LLNL's biggest research projects in past years until his death in 1997. All in all, he was as promising a scientist as any the lab had ever seen.

"Shall we?" Annika spoke just as the two military officers rounded the corner and spotted her.

"Good morning." Harm spoke as they came closer to the pair. Annika locked eyes with them and smiled politely. They'd spoken the night before and she was ready for their visit, but she hadn't known of the impromptu lab meeting that would be called that morning.

"Good morning. May I help you?" Annika spoke and Harm and Mac nodded at once. Most of the staff was already at the auditorium, so there was few people around. It didn't seem suspicious at all they'd come straight to her.

"Yes. I'm Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. and this is my partner, Lt. Col. Sarah Mackenzie. We're with the JAG corps, and we are looking for a Nicole Avery. I assume that's you" Harm finished with a smile, his finger pointing towards Annika's lab coat, which she had put on minutes before. Her name was printed in bright red block letters in the left side and she smiled as she looked down at it and back up at the pair.

"Uh, yes. That would be me. I assume this is regarding the death of Dr. Jones" she finished with a sad smile. Undercover or not, she was truly moved and appalled by what had happened to the poor man.

"Yes, it is. We're sorry. We know it may not be the best time, but we'd appreciate it if you could spare a few minutes of your time to speak with us," this time Mac spoke, shooting a quick glance towards the man standing with an unreadable expression next to Annika.

"Well, a lab meeting has been called for ten o'clock, which is four minutes away. Is it possible you could come back in about an hour? The meeting shouldn't take more than that" she explained and Harm and Mac read in her expression she meant just that. It was a change of plans, but they could handle it. They couldn't do much else without speaking to her first, after all.

"Of course. We understand. That would be no problem at all. We'll see you in an hour then" Harm spoke and Annika simply nodded with a smile.

"That would be great. Oh, where are my manners" she said with an embarrassed smile and turned towards the man next to her. "Commander, Colonel, this is Dr. Michael Ashton."

TBC