TITLE: Digging Your Grave
AUTHOR: always krissy
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to the glorious J.K. Rowling.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was browsing FAP, and I came across SS Irish Spice, and it got me curious, and well? It inspired this. :D
SPOILERS: Well, for Goblet of Fire, the Yule Ball.
PAIRING: Lavender/Seamus implied, Seamus/Parvati
RATING: G
I always liked the saying, "Digging your own grave and burying yourself alive." It's just so fitting to so much of life's chaos.
It is exactly what I did, too.
It was my fault; I'm not blaming you at all. I think it started when I heard Seamus and Dean discussing you. Yes, discussing you. Don't look so surprised, I'm an expert at overhearing things, and I admit, once I do, I can't stop listening. We all know its one of my major faults.
"She's pretty," Seamus had said.
"Yeah," Dean agreed.
Then they'd started discussing your finer points. How talented, how pretty, how special you were. How you were one of the prettiest girls in our year. How nobody, just nobody, could compare.
I was insanely jealous.
Then Seamus asked, "D'ya think she has a date to the Yule Ball yet?"
I lost it then. Just the idea of you going with him?
I always liked Seamus, but I never told anyone, because I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, not when we liked to stare at guys and say how cute and sexy and perfect they are. But I could see how perfect the two of you would look in my head, so beautiful and classy, and I couldn't let it happen. I just couldn't.
So I pretended that I'd just wandered down to the Common Room, and I spotted them.
I am good at acting, I've always known this. My mum wants me to act in the muggle world, theatre, being in plays, y'know? But anyway, I pulled this innocent smile, bright eyes, and asked him, "Hey, Seamus, wanna go to the ball with me?"
He and Dean exchanged these looks of surprise, you know, the ones of flattered, but unsure, but maybe interested, but surprised. One of those mixed emotions looks. Then, I asked Dean to leave the room, to let me talk to Seamus alone. He left and I started talking to him. Confessing how I'd had a crush on him for months, for years, forever. I told him he didn't have to go with me, and that was okay, but I'd really like to. It was truthful, but I hadn't really liked him, not for the reasons I was saying. I didn't understand it until afterwards, but it's true.
And when we danced, and he held me awkwardly, I knew I had done the wrong thing. When I thought about how excited you acted for me, picking out the perfect dress robe, trying to be perfectly content when I knew you were just as jealous as I had been.
Oh, don't look at me that way. I know you love him, and I know he loves you.
And that's why I'm telling you this. I don't want our friendship to end because I got jealous, and if I had kept this secret, I know it would have. We never could keep secrets from one another, and it was killing me inside. Especially if you found this out, like, in our seventh year, or something, and then where would we be? I don't even want to contemplate it.
So.
Go. Talk to him, forget about Harry, forget about that other guy, just go.
He's outside waiting for you.
AUTHOR: always krissy
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to the glorious J.K. Rowling.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was browsing FAP, and I came across SS Irish Spice, and it got me curious, and well? It inspired this. :D
SPOILERS: Well, for Goblet of Fire, the Yule Ball.
PAIRING: Lavender/Seamus implied, Seamus/Parvati
RATING: G
I always liked the saying, "Digging your own grave and burying yourself alive." It's just so fitting to so much of life's chaos.
It is exactly what I did, too.
It was my fault; I'm not blaming you at all. I think it started when I heard Seamus and Dean discussing you. Yes, discussing you. Don't look so surprised, I'm an expert at overhearing things, and I admit, once I do, I can't stop listening. We all know its one of my major faults.
"She's pretty," Seamus had said.
"Yeah," Dean agreed.
Then they'd started discussing your finer points. How talented, how pretty, how special you were. How you were one of the prettiest girls in our year. How nobody, just nobody, could compare.
I was insanely jealous.
Then Seamus asked, "D'ya think she has a date to the Yule Ball yet?"
I lost it then. Just the idea of you going with him?
I always liked Seamus, but I never told anyone, because I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, not when we liked to stare at guys and say how cute and sexy and perfect they are. But I could see how perfect the two of you would look in my head, so beautiful and classy, and I couldn't let it happen. I just couldn't.
So I pretended that I'd just wandered down to the Common Room, and I spotted them.
I am good at acting, I've always known this. My mum wants me to act in the muggle world, theatre, being in plays, y'know? But anyway, I pulled this innocent smile, bright eyes, and asked him, "Hey, Seamus, wanna go to the ball with me?"
He and Dean exchanged these looks of surprise, you know, the ones of flattered, but unsure, but maybe interested, but surprised. One of those mixed emotions looks. Then, I asked Dean to leave the room, to let me talk to Seamus alone. He left and I started talking to him. Confessing how I'd had a crush on him for months, for years, forever. I told him he didn't have to go with me, and that was okay, but I'd really like to. It was truthful, but I hadn't really liked him, not for the reasons I was saying. I didn't understand it until afterwards, but it's true.
And when we danced, and he held me awkwardly, I knew I had done the wrong thing. When I thought about how excited you acted for me, picking out the perfect dress robe, trying to be perfectly content when I knew you were just as jealous as I had been.
Oh, don't look at me that way. I know you love him, and I know he loves you.
And that's why I'm telling you this. I don't want our friendship to end because I got jealous, and if I had kept this secret, I know it would have. We never could keep secrets from one another, and it was killing me inside. Especially if you found this out, like, in our seventh year, or something, and then where would we be? I don't even want to contemplate it.
So.
Go. Talk to him, forget about Harry, forget about that other guy, just go.
He's outside waiting for you.