ABOUT US 3: The Good And The Bad 9/14
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M, Clay/Annika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: If they belonged to me... no comment. :) JAG is property of DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating on homework...
Author's Note: This story takes place two months after the events of About Us 2. The rest of the information related to LLNL and the different laboratories mentioned, as well as the current research on Nitrogen bond-dissociation is real, although not nearly as advanced as I make it in the story. Believe me, the world would be a whole lot different. Even though chemistry is a passion of mine, Nitrogen compounds is not my area of expertise; but if anyone is interested in further information about anything mentioned on this story, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Many thanks to my betas, who always do such a great job keeping me motivated... you're the best, guys!...
FROM PART 8
"Listen, Clay. You have to work it from the sidelines this time. I'm not saying you have to like it. Just live with it, okay?"
"I have a bad feeling about this, Harm"
"Yeah, well. All you can do is do your best and trust..." he paused until Clay met his eyes, "that your partner will do the same" and with a raised eyebrow Harm walked over to the little refrigerator to get out a bottle of water.
"I think I'll need something a little stronger to buy into this crazy idea of yours" Clay murmured as he accepted the bottle from Harm, who simply smiled knowingly at him.
"You can get wasted after this is all over, pal" Harm offered lightly with a pat in the back.
"You mean you're not getting wasted with me?" Clay's mouth turned up in what could be catalogued as a teasing smile.
Harm thought of Mac, and grinned. "No way, spook"
PART 9
MAC'S HOTEL ROOM
SAME TIME
"Harm went to find Clay. They're going over to talk to Lt. Fleming again. There could be something we missed."
"That's a good idea," Annika answered as she stepped out into the balcony and sighed as the warm afternoon breeze assaulted her skin. Mac followed slowly, not sure weather Annika needed a friendly shoulder or some peace and quiet. Her argument with Clay the night before had left her tired and spent, and she had cried for hours until she'd finally gone home.
Standing there, steps away from the glass door that separated her from her friend, Mac couldn't help the sadness that engulfed her as she wondered what would come out of last night's shouting match. But even in face of the pain her friends were experiencing, her conversation with Harm came back to her, and she closed her eyes as the words came rushing back.
***********
"I can't believe they're fighting like this" Harm whispered as he felt his heart go out to the woman sobbing in the next room. "He loves her, Mac."
"I know. And I know she loves him back. But it's hard for her to believe it. She'll trust him with everything but her heart."
"Why?"
"Maybe the same reason it took you and I so long to figure it out. They rely on each other as partners, and friends. They know each other so well when it comes to work, but it's not easy for them to separate life from work. Just like it wasn't easy for us. Remember?"
"I remember. I wish we could change that, but that's all in the past now."
"Is it?" Her voice was quite, her eyes focused on the wooden door in front of her.
"Mac?" He was not following.
"I'm sorry, Harm. I know whatever it is that's bothering you, you've got your reasons for not telling me right now. I just...it frustrates me sometimes is all."
"What do you want me to do?" There was no trace of anger or exasperation in his tone. Only sadness.
"I don't know, Harm. I think you've got to figure that out yourself."
His chin fell towards his chest. "I don't want to hurt you, Sarah. I just... I don't know how to explain this to you. I've been... well... I just need to get a grip on it, that's all" His eyes focused on hers, in search of understanding, of acceptance.
She simply nodded. "I know." But her heart twisted inside. He'd been having nightmares, that involved her, and he still wouldn't let her in. Did he not want her to worry? Maybe. That didn't make it hurt any less.
"Come here." Pulling her into his arms in a tight embrace, he cursed himself when a few tears made their way down her cheeks and into the hollow of his throat.
"I love you, Harm." Her voice broke slightly and he tightened his hold on her. Why couldn't he tell her? What was it about his dreams that terrified him? Why was it that every time he held her he vowed to let her in, but when he tried, fear held him back? Fear of what?
"I love you too, baby...love you too"
************
Annika had come back into the room and said her goodbyes, assuring them she was fine and reminding them of the risks of anyone from LLNL finding out about her link to them. It could blow her cover. They had agreed, but had insisted she call them if she needed anything. In turn, she'd secured a promise from Harm to keep an eye on Clay. She was worried about him, but felt it was in their best interest to give him some space.
After she'd gone, Harm had taken Mac tenderly in his arms and had proceeded to show her how much he loved her. She'd returned his love. Fervently. But there'd been something missing. He'd said he loved her. He'd said he trusted her. He'd said he wanted her in his life forever, but something had felt wrong. There was an invisible gap between them, and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why it was there, or what had caused it. Had it been her constant prodding that had resulted in his obvious distance?
Harm had apparently sensed it as well, and he'd gone out of his way to love her as tenderly as he knew how. His lips had touched every inch of her body; his hands had pleasured her in every way he knew existed. He'd spoken of his love incessantly, he'd showered her with attention, he'd devoted himself to her constant physical ecstasy; but still it hadn't been enough. The gap between them was growing exponentially with every day that passed with unspoken fears.
"Mac? Are you okay?"
Annika's voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to smile warmly at her friend. Annika didn't buy it.
"Sure, I'm okay. Just thinking"
"About what?"
"Oh, it's nothing"
"Uh huh"
"Give it up, Vranch" Mac said through a chuckle. "You never told me how you ended up as a field agent anyway. Did you really go to Cal Tech?"
Annika smiled briefly. "Oh yeah. And I loved it."
"Why didn't you stay in the research business? Why such an abrupt change?" Instantly Annika's face contorted, briefly, but Mac didn't miss it. Bad memories. Regrets. She knew all about them.
"Nik, you don't have to tell me. I mean, if you don't want to talk about it..."
"No, it's okay. I...could've stayed. I loved what I did. Research was always a passion of mine. I just...it was complicated, and I felt I needed a clean break. When I was little, I always dreamed of working in top-secret projects. You know, like in the movies. In a building with military guards, retinal scans to access different rooms, all state of the art technology. It always made me feel important to think I'd do that someday. You know, without chemists there'd be no cleaning products, no hair products, or make up..."
"No make up!"
Annika laughed. "There's chemistry everywhere, Mac. Most food products we consume wouldn't exist without chemicals. The health industry would be more or less non-existent. Every science field relies on chemistry at one point or another..."
"Isn't biology the most basic science?"
Annika grinned and shook her head. "Don't get me started. The debates over chemistry vs. biology used to get pretty intense in college. Chemists are a passionate breed, Mac" she said with a chuckle.
"Well you'd have to be to stand the boredom of..."
"Okay, that's enough now." Annika said with an _expression of mock hurt.
Mac laughed. "Sorry. I really hated chemistry in college."
"I can tell. Anyway, I figured I could be the brain behind it all, you know? Like the people who design airplanes, or weapons. No one talks about them really. No one knows them, but without them none of what we do would be possible. Okay, except Bill Gates. Anyway, I love people, but I can't deal with them all day long. I love the quietness of a research lab. It's so controlled, and clean, and apparently harmless, and everything looks so complex, and the names on the bottles are almost impossible to remember ...it's just heaven."
Mac's face scrunched. "That's almost... sick"
"Oh, give me a break. You loved chemistry and you know it."
Mac snorted. "Right"
Annika grinned. "Anyway, that's why after I got my doctorate degree I applied for the physical science research program at the CIA. I had just turned 25. I was there for a few months, and as I got more and more acquainted with the way the agency worked, I decided I'd like undercover work as well or more than I did a lab. Some of the skills I already had from my science training, and the rest just came naturally to me. And I loved it."
"Wow. That's quite a change"
"Yeah. It felt like so at first, but after my first mission, I knew undercover work was what I was meant to do. That was seven years ago." By the tone of her voice, Mac could almost believe Annika was completely happy with the way her life had turned out. Almost.
"Well, I wish I could say the same about my first experience in a courtroom. I was so nervous, I threw up three times the morning of the trial," Mac said with a rueful smile, and Annika just stared.
"Are you serious?" Mac nodded.
"Very"
"Wow. You want to try undercover work for a while?"
Mac laughed. "I've done my share of undercover assignments, thank you. I'll leave it to you lunatics."
"Lunatics?" Annika looked wounded. "I see how it is."
Both women laughed and after a few minutes they sat down in companionable silence at the wood table that occupied the left side of the room. Annika seemed lost in her thoughts and Mac regarded her for a few seconds before speaking.
"I bet he was a jerk."
"Who?" Annika looked up in surprise at Mac's comment.
"Whoever was responsible for you career change" Mac's voice was soft, understanding, and Annika nodded her head sadly.
"He was" Annika looked down, and Mac simply nodded. Reaching out she held Annika's hand briefly, in show of silent support.
"When you said that Clay didn't love you, you said you knew from experience. I'm not trying to pry, Nik, but whatever it is, I'm here if you want to talk." Mac looked on in amazement as Annika stiffened at the mention of the word 'love'. 'Oh, Nik, what happened to you' Mac thought sadly. Did Clay know?
Annika was silent. There wasn't much she could answer. Her life was complicated enough without bringing back the past. "Thanks"
"So, let's lay it all out. What do we know about Ashton?" Mac asked, effectively bringing Annika out her dreary mood.
"Well, he's a damned fine researcher, that's for sure. Like I said, his father used to work at LLNL as well. I guess some of what he's accomplished was facilitated by his father's reputation, but they guy's got a brain to die for, Mac."
"So I've heard. I told Harm how it went when I interviewed him earlier today."
"I spoke to Harm a while ago. I told him I'd take some time to go back to the lab and do some poking around. But I'll do that after we go through all these files right here" Annika finished as she patted the offending stack of folders and scattered papers next to her on the table. Mac grimaced.
"Ouch"
"You got that right, Marine"
"Let's get to it, then"
A few hours later, they were still submerged in an endless heap of papers and files that seemed to forever stretch their brain storage capability. The mess was a combination of CIA and DOD files concerning a number of research projects being conducted at LLNL. Clay was convinced there was something being covered up at LLNL. The communications with FFChem had definitely been traced back to Livermore, but no legitimate breach of protocol had been found in the company files when they'd been reviewed the week before by Clay's team. As a result, Clay was convinced there was something fishy at LLNL, and she was starting to believe it as well.
"Nik, how did Ashton's father die?"
Annika looked up and thought for a second. "A car explosion. I heard someone comment on it a while back. Why?"
"Well, October 12 is the date of Ashton's father's death. Dr. Rasdja one year later, on the same date, in a car explosion as well. Dr. Fleming last year, same date, same way." Mac said distractedly as read through one more file.
"That's true, but Dr. Jones didn't follow the pattern. What are you getting at? You think Michael has something to do with the deaths? Listen, Mac. Michael and Dr. Jones were really close. He couldn't have done it." But even as she said it, her mind started doubting. She didn't really *know* Michael Ashton after all.
"I'm not really sure, yet. I think we need to talk to Clay. Let's just go over the rest of this and then we'll compare notes with Harm and Clay at dinner."
Annika simply nodded and returned to her reading.
"Mac, I think I need to go back to the laboratory. All this white and black is making me dizzy. Besides, I can poke around some more and see what I can find out on Ashton," Annika stated, stretching her small frame on the chair and running a hand through her red curls of hair.
Mac looked up, and with an owlish blink realized it'd been three hours since they had started. And consequently, almost four hours since they had eaten lunch.
"I need a snack."
Annika grinned. "Me too. And then I'm heading back to work. A doctor's appointment got me a few hours off. I still have to report after that. It's not like I'm dying or anything" she smiled.
"Okay, well I'll stay here and finish going through this files. If anything jumps out I'll page you."
"Okay" Annika busied herself with picking up her purse and making sure she wasn't forgetting anything. Mac studied her as she moved around the room. How did she do it? How could she be so calm after everything that had been said between her and Clay the night before?
"Annika, are you sure you're okay?"
"Me? Of course" she sighed and rested a hand on her hip at Mac's uncertain stare. "Listen, Mac. It was bad last night, with Clay. I know that. But I also understand where he's coming from. He's been overly sensitive lately because of what happened in Afghanistan with his brother. I don't blame him for the way he's acting. He's just a little confused right now about the way he's feeling, and he needs to come to terms with that. Soon as he does, we'll be all right."
"You really think it'll be that easy?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know. It seems that he's, uh... coming to some realizations about his life and..." the utter sadness in Annika's face took her by surprise, but her words simply shocked her.
"I sure hope you're not talking about love, Colonel. I'm not in love with, Clay. And he's not in love with me. I love him as my friend, and my partner, and that's all. It's just a little blurry right now because his emotional world is being turned upside down and he's confused. It'll pass. I know."
"Is this part of what you have experience on?" Annika looked away, and Mac relented. "Okay, look. How do you know it's just confusion and not something else?"
"I just do" 'It always is' she added silently. Once again Annika's eyes focused on a point to her left and Mac could sense the end of their female bonding time. Her shields were firmly in place when she looked back. "Anyway, as soon as Harm and the brain-dead monkey return, you make sure to interrogate them. And I'll see you all for dinner then."
Mac sat still for a second, trying to figure out if Annika had actually realized what she'd called her partner. Annika looked over at her from her position near the door and winked.
"Don't tell him I called him that. He'd hate me for not telling him to his face," and with that she left, leaving a laughing Marine behind to mountains of unread files.
TBC
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M, Clay/Annika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: If they belonged to me... no comment. :) JAG is property of DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating on homework...
Author's Note: This story takes place two months after the events of About Us 2. The rest of the information related to LLNL and the different laboratories mentioned, as well as the current research on Nitrogen bond-dissociation is real, although not nearly as advanced as I make it in the story. Believe me, the world would be a whole lot different. Even though chemistry is a passion of mine, Nitrogen compounds is not my area of expertise; but if anyone is interested in further information about anything mentioned on this story, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Many thanks to my betas, who always do such a great job keeping me motivated... you're the best, guys!...
FROM PART 8
"Listen, Clay. You have to work it from the sidelines this time. I'm not saying you have to like it. Just live with it, okay?"
"I have a bad feeling about this, Harm"
"Yeah, well. All you can do is do your best and trust..." he paused until Clay met his eyes, "that your partner will do the same" and with a raised eyebrow Harm walked over to the little refrigerator to get out a bottle of water.
"I think I'll need something a little stronger to buy into this crazy idea of yours" Clay murmured as he accepted the bottle from Harm, who simply smiled knowingly at him.
"You can get wasted after this is all over, pal" Harm offered lightly with a pat in the back.
"You mean you're not getting wasted with me?" Clay's mouth turned up in what could be catalogued as a teasing smile.
Harm thought of Mac, and grinned. "No way, spook"
PART 9
MAC'S HOTEL ROOM
SAME TIME
"Harm went to find Clay. They're going over to talk to Lt. Fleming again. There could be something we missed."
"That's a good idea," Annika answered as she stepped out into the balcony and sighed as the warm afternoon breeze assaulted her skin. Mac followed slowly, not sure weather Annika needed a friendly shoulder or some peace and quiet. Her argument with Clay the night before had left her tired and spent, and she had cried for hours until she'd finally gone home.
Standing there, steps away from the glass door that separated her from her friend, Mac couldn't help the sadness that engulfed her as she wondered what would come out of last night's shouting match. But even in face of the pain her friends were experiencing, her conversation with Harm came back to her, and she closed her eyes as the words came rushing back.
***********
"I can't believe they're fighting like this" Harm whispered as he felt his heart go out to the woman sobbing in the next room. "He loves her, Mac."
"I know. And I know she loves him back. But it's hard for her to believe it. She'll trust him with everything but her heart."
"Why?"
"Maybe the same reason it took you and I so long to figure it out. They rely on each other as partners, and friends. They know each other so well when it comes to work, but it's not easy for them to separate life from work. Just like it wasn't easy for us. Remember?"
"I remember. I wish we could change that, but that's all in the past now."
"Is it?" Her voice was quite, her eyes focused on the wooden door in front of her.
"Mac?" He was not following.
"I'm sorry, Harm. I know whatever it is that's bothering you, you've got your reasons for not telling me right now. I just...it frustrates me sometimes is all."
"What do you want me to do?" There was no trace of anger or exasperation in his tone. Only sadness.
"I don't know, Harm. I think you've got to figure that out yourself."
His chin fell towards his chest. "I don't want to hurt you, Sarah. I just... I don't know how to explain this to you. I've been... well... I just need to get a grip on it, that's all" His eyes focused on hers, in search of understanding, of acceptance.
She simply nodded. "I know." But her heart twisted inside. He'd been having nightmares, that involved her, and he still wouldn't let her in. Did he not want her to worry? Maybe. That didn't make it hurt any less.
"Come here." Pulling her into his arms in a tight embrace, he cursed himself when a few tears made their way down her cheeks and into the hollow of his throat.
"I love you, Harm." Her voice broke slightly and he tightened his hold on her. Why couldn't he tell her? What was it about his dreams that terrified him? Why was it that every time he held her he vowed to let her in, but when he tried, fear held him back? Fear of what?
"I love you too, baby...love you too"
************
Annika had come back into the room and said her goodbyes, assuring them she was fine and reminding them of the risks of anyone from LLNL finding out about her link to them. It could blow her cover. They had agreed, but had insisted she call them if she needed anything. In turn, she'd secured a promise from Harm to keep an eye on Clay. She was worried about him, but felt it was in their best interest to give him some space.
After she'd gone, Harm had taken Mac tenderly in his arms and had proceeded to show her how much he loved her. She'd returned his love. Fervently. But there'd been something missing. He'd said he loved her. He'd said he trusted her. He'd said he wanted her in his life forever, but something had felt wrong. There was an invisible gap between them, and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why it was there, or what had caused it. Had it been her constant prodding that had resulted in his obvious distance?
Harm had apparently sensed it as well, and he'd gone out of his way to love her as tenderly as he knew how. His lips had touched every inch of her body; his hands had pleasured her in every way he knew existed. He'd spoken of his love incessantly, he'd showered her with attention, he'd devoted himself to her constant physical ecstasy; but still it hadn't been enough. The gap between them was growing exponentially with every day that passed with unspoken fears.
"Mac? Are you okay?"
Annika's voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to smile warmly at her friend. Annika didn't buy it.
"Sure, I'm okay. Just thinking"
"About what?"
"Oh, it's nothing"
"Uh huh"
"Give it up, Vranch" Mac said through a chuckle. "You never told me how you ended up as a field agent anyway. Did you really go to Cal Tech?"
Annika smiled briefly. "Oh yeah. And I loved it."
"Why didn't you stay in the research business? Why such an abrupt change?" Instantly Annika's face contorted, briefly, but Mac didn't miss it. Bad memories. Regrets. She knew all about them.
"Nik, you don't have to tell me. I mean, if you don't want to talk about it..."
"No, it's okay. I...could've stayed. I loved what I did. Research was always a passion of mine. I just...it was complicated, and I felt I needed a clean break. When I was little, I always dreamed of working in top-secret projects. You know, like in the movies. In a building with military guards, retinal scans to access different rooms, all state of the art technology. It always made me feel important to think I'd do that someday. You know, without chemists there'd be no cleaning products, no hair products, or make up..."
"No make up!"
Annika laughed. "There's chemistry everywhere, Mac. Most food products we consume wouldn't exist without chemicals. The health industry would be more or less non-existent. Every science field relies on chemistry at one point or another..."
"Isn't biology the most basic science?"
Annika grinned and shook her head. "Don't get me started. The debates over chemistry vs. biology used to get pretty intense in college. Chemists are a passionate breed, Mac" she said with a chuckle.
"Well you'd have to be to stand the boredom of..."
"Okay, that's enough now." Annika said with an _expression of mock hurt.
Mac laughed. "Sorry. I really hated chemistry in college."
"I can tell. Anyway, I figured I could be the brain behind it all, you know? Like the people who design airplanes, or weapons. No one talks about them really. No one knows them, but without them none of what we do would be possible. Okay, except Bill Gates. Anyway, I love people, but I can't deal with them all day long. I love the quietness of a research lab. It's so controlled, and clean, and apparently harmless, and everything looks so complex, and the names on the bottles are almost impossible to remember ...it's just heaven."
Mac's face scrunched. "That's almost... sick"
"Oh, give me a break. You loved chemistry and you know it."
Mac snorted. "Right"
Annika grinned. "Anyway, that's why after I got my doctorate degree I applied for the physical science research program at the CIA. I had just turned 25. I was there for a few months, and as I got more and more acquainted with the way the agency worked, I decided I'd like undercover work as well or more than I did a lab. Some of the skills I already had from my science training, and the rest just came naturally to me. And I loved it."
"Wow. That's quite a change"
"Yeah. It felt like so at first, but after my first mission, I knew undercover work was what I was meant to do. That was seven years ago." By the tone of her voice, Mac could almost believe Annika was completely happy with the way her life had turned out. Almost.
"Well, I wish I could say the same about my first experience in a courtroom. I was so nervous, I threw up three times the morning of the trial," Mac said with a rueful smile, and Annika just stared.
"Are you serious?" Mac nodded.
"Very"
"Wow. You want to try undercover work for a while?"
Mac laughed. "I've done my share of undercover assignments, thank you. I'll leave it to you lunatics."
"Lunatics?" Annika looked wounded. "I see how it is."
Both women laughed and after a few minutes they sat down in companionable silence at the wood table that occupied the left side of the room. Annika seemed lost in her thoughts and Mac regarded her for a few seconds before speaking.
"I bet he was a jerk."
"Who?" Annika looked up in surprise at Mac's comment.
"Whoever was responsible for you career change" Mac's voice was soft, understanding, and Annika nodded her head sadly.
"He was" Annika looked down, and Mac simply nodded. Reaching out she held Annika's hand briefly, in show of silent support.
"When you said that Clay didn't love you, you said you knew from experience. I'm not trying to pry, Nik, but whatever it is, I'm here if you want to talk." Mac looked on in amazement as Annika stiffened at the mention of the word 'love'. 'Oh, Nik, what happened to you' Mac thought sadly. Did Clay know?
Annika was silent. There wasn't much she could answer. Her life was complicated enough without bringing back the past. "Thanks"
"So, let's lay it all out. What do we know about Ashton?" Mac asked, effectively bringing Annika out her dreary mood.
"Well, he's a damned fine researcher, that's for sure. Like I said, his father used to work at LLNL as well. I guess some of what he's accomplished was facilitated by his father's reputation, but they guy's got a brain to die for, Mac."
"So I've heard. I told Harm how it went when I interviewed him earlier today."
"I spoke to Harm a while ago. I told him I'd take some time to go back to the lab and do some poking around. But I'll do that after we go through all these files right here" Annika finished as she patted the offending stack of folders and scattered papers next to her on the table. Mac grimaced.
"Ouch"
"You got that right, Marine"
"Let's get to it, then"
A few hours later, they were still submerged in an endless heap of papers and files that seemed to forever stretch their brain storage capability. The mess was a combination of CIA and DOD files concerning a number of research projects being conducted at LLNL. Clay was convinced there was something being covered up at LLNL. The communications with FFChem had definitely been traced back to Livermore, but no legitimate breach of protocol had been found in the company files when they'd been reviewed the week before by Clay's team. As a result, Clay was convinced there was something fishy at LLNL, and she was starting to believe it as well.
"Nik, how did Ashton's father die?"
Annika looked up and thought for a second. "A car explosion. I heard someone comment on it a while back. Why?"
"Well, October 12 is the date of Ashton's father's death. Dr. Rasdja one year later, on the same date, in a car explosion as well. Dr. Fleming last year, same date, same way." Mac said distractedly as read through one more file.
"That's true, but Dr. Jones didn't follow the pattern. What are you getting at? You think Michael has something to do with the deaths? Listen, Mac. Michael and Dr. Jones were really close. He couldn't have done it." But even as she said it, her mind started doubting. She didn't really *know* Michael Ashton after all.
"I'm not really sure, yet. I think we need to talk to Clay. Let's just go over the rest of this and then we'll compare notes with Harm and Clay at dinner."
Annika simply nodded and returned to her reading.
"Mac, I think I need to go back to the laboratory. All this white and black is making me dizzy. Besides, I can poke around some more and see what I can find out on Ashton," Annika stated, stretching her small frame on the chair and running a hand through her red curls of hair.
Mac looked up, and with an owlish blink realized it'd been three hours since they had started. And consequently, almost four hours since they had eaten lunch.
"I need a snack."
Annika grinned. "Me too. And then I'm heading back to work. A doctor's appointment got me a few hours off. I still have to report after that. It's not like I'm dying or anything" she smiled.
"Okay, well I'll stay here and finish going through this files. If anything jumps out I'll page you."
"Okay" Annika busied herself with picking up her purse and making sure she wasn't forgetting anything. Mac studied her as she moved around the room. How did she do it? How could she be so calm after everything that had been said between her and Clay the night before?
"Annika, are you sure you're okay?"
"Me? Of course" she sighed and rested a hand on her hip at Mac's uncertain stare. "Listen, Mac. It was bad last night, with Clay. I know that. But I also understand where he's coming from. He's been overly sensitive lately because of what happened in Afghanistan with his brother. I don't blame him for the way he's acting. He's just a little confused right now about the way he's feeling, and he needs to come to terms with that. Soon as he does, we'll be all right."
"You really think it'll be that easy?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know. It seems that he's, uh... coming to some realizations about his life and..." the utter sadness in Annika's face took her by surprise, but her words simply shocked her.
"I sure hope you're not talking about love, Colonel. I'm not in love with, Clay. And he's not in love with me. I love him as my friend, and my partner, and that's all. It's just a little blurry right now because his emotional world is being turned upside down and he's confused. It'll pass. I know."
"Is this part of what you have experience on?" Annika looked away, and Mac relented. "Okay, look. How do you know it's just confusion and not something else?"
"I just do" 'It always is' she added silently. Once again Annika's eyes focused on a point to her left and Mac could sense the end of their female bonding time. Her shields were firmly in place when she looked back. "Anyway, as soon as Harm and the brain-dead monkey return, you make sure to interrogate them. And I'll see you all for dinner then."
Mac sat still for a second, trying to figure out if Annika had actually realized what she'd called her partner. Annika looked over at her from her position near the door and winked.
"Don't tell him I called him that. He'd hate me for not telling him to his face," and with that she left, leaving a laughing Marine behind to mountains of unread files.
TBC