Tragic Tales of Teenagers
Chapter Fifteen
Freak Show
"Push!" Madam Pomfrey commanded.
"I am pushing!" Allie screamed. She was in the Hospital Wing with her baby about to come out. Harry, the twins, Ron, Ginny, Whitley, and Draco stood around her watching, Libbie was helping Pomfrey.
"What the hell is that?" Harry said pointing at Allie's lower half.
"That's its head!" Madam Pomfrey said with a smile.
"Damn, you'd expect it to be a little.normal," Harry said as he cocked his head to the side.
"What's wrong with my baby?" Allie said through some grunts. Her face was blood red and she was covered in sweat.
"Nothing! It looks gorgeous!" Ginny lied.
"Just one last push and it'll all be over," Madam Pomfrey told Allie.
Allie pushed with all her right and let out a scream. Out popped Alicia. It nearly screamed it's little head off. It was bloody and wet and pink but everyone still cooed and made baby sounds at it.
"Oh, she's so beautiful!" Allie cried as she held her baby for the first time. She cradled it in her arms and kissed its fuzzy head.
Fred stood in the corner with a dark look on his face. He had sympathy in his eyes though.
Hours later, Allie carried her newborn up to her common room. The whole gang followed her of course.
"Um.I need to.feed her," Allie said.
"Go ahead," Harry said.
"With my breasts!" Allie screamed. Harry's eyes got wide and ran out of the room with a loud 'ewe'. Everyone followed him out, laughing at his reaction. Allie got to her business.
"What do you mean I have lice?" Ginny screamed at Madam Pomfrey moments later.
"Sorry dear, but we'll have to shave your head. Otherwise, they will eat you alive!" Pomfrey told her. Ginny fell to the ground and fainted. Pomfrey picked her up and set her in a barber's chair that had magically appeared. She first took some scissors and clipped away as much hair as possible. Then she shook up a can of shaving cream. She put a load of it on what was left of Ginny's hair and smoothed it over. She grabbed her razor and started shaving off every bit of hair on Ginny's head.
Ginny woke up later that day and checked her watch. She was late for Care of Magical Creatures! She raced out of the Hospital Wing without a thought and joined the Gryffindors with the Ravenclaws.
"Ginny? I didn't recognize you with that new haircut!" Hagrid told her with a smile.
"Sorry?" Ginny asked. Hagrid handed her a mirror. Ginny screamed.
"It's lumpy! I have a lumpy head! Oh my goodness!" Ginny exclaimed.
Hagrid held back his snickers as he went to teach the rest of his class.
That night, Ron came to dinner with a different look too.
"I'm sorry, didn't I see you on Jerry Springer yesterday?" Whitley joked.
Ron had a mullet and was wearing a yellow dress. He had pantyhose on with some high-heels.
"Oh my gosh! You stole my clothes!" Allie hollered.
Hermione walked into the Great Hall and giggled.
"Ronald Weasley, you'll never change, will you?" Hermione laughed.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ron asked.
"I got out of jail because of my good behavior. I'm better now," Hermione said with grin.
Hermione sat down opposite of Allie.
"You're baby is so cute!" Hermione said. She pulled a bottle out of her pocket. It was medication called Happy Days.
"Hermione is taking 'happy pills'!" Whitley laughed quietly to Draco.
Fred and George got up without a word. They headed straight to their common room.
"Do you have the stuff?" Fred asked George. George pulled out a paper bag.
"Best beer and cigarettes that Goyle carried. He pulled out some beers and opened them with his teeth. He lit his cigarette with his wand.
They smoked and smoked for a long time.
"I think I need some air!" Fred coughed as he opened a window. "Wow!"
"What is it?" asked George.
"The cows! They are flying!" Fred said looking outside. George came beside him.
"Wow, look at the flying cows! That one winked at me!" George said in awe.
All of the sudden, a large pile of dung flew in and splattered in Fred's face. George laughed and smeared it in more. A cow fell from the sky with a loud 'moo'.
"I need to go to the bathroom! I think that chocolate pudding did something to me!" Harry said as he finally got up from his table in the Great Hall. Ron smacked him on the butt and said, "Go get 'em tiger!"
Harry headed straight for the toilet. He sat on the can and let loose. A truckload of diarrhea spewed out of him and into the water of the toilet.
"That stinks!" Harry said. Chunks rose in his throat and he puked everywhere. He bent over to puke more and his diarrhea splattered all over the wall behind him. It was like he was trying to spray-paint the walls.
Harry picked up a large turd from inside the toilet. His hands were black. He took the turd and stuffed it in his mouth. Finally noticing the awful taste, his spit in back out.
"Wait!" Harry said as he reached back for the turd. He made a small box appear out of nowhere and put the turd in the box.
Back in the Great Hall, Allie was chatting with Whitley and Libbie.
"So I was thinking I'd sing with your band sometime. Dumbledore says a little performance would be great during a dinner. Hold on, I'll show you what I can do!" Allie said as she cleared her throat.
"He was a boy,
She was a girl,
Can I make it any more obvious,
He was a punk,
She did ballet,
What more can I say,
He wanted her,
She'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well,
But all of her friends, Stuck up their nose,
They had a problem with his baggy clothes."
Whitley and Libbie looked at each other like they were scared.
"We can't let her go up there and sing as bad as that!" Libbie said.
"We'll have to find a spell. She'll never know. If she does, she'll thank us," Whitley whispered.
"Push!" Madam Pomfrey commanded.
"I am pushing!" Allie screamed. She was in the Hospital Wing with her baby about to come out. Harry, the twins, Ron, Ginny, Whitley, and Draco stood around her watching, Libbie was helping Pomfrey.
"What the hell is that?" Harry said pointing at Allie's lower half.
"That's its head!" Madam Pomfrey said with a smile.
"Damn, you'd expect it to be a little.normal," Harry said as he cocked his head to the side.
"What's wrong with my baby?" Allie said through some grunts. Her face was blood red and she was covered in sweat.
"Nothing! It looks gorgeous!" Ginny lied.
"Just one last push and it'll all be over," Madam Pomfrey told Allie.
Allie pushed with all her right and let out a scream. Out popped Alicia. It nearly screamed it's little head off. It was bloody and wet and pink but everyone still cooed and made baby sounds at it.
"Oh, she's so beautiful!" Allie cried as she held her baby for the first time. She cradled it in her arms and kissed its fuzzy head.
Fred stood in the corner with a dark look on his face. He had sympathy in his eyes though.
Hours later, Allie carried her newborn up to her common room. The whole gang followed her of course.
"Um.I need to.feed her," Allie said.
"Go ahead," Harry said.
"With my breasts!" Allie screamed. Harry's eyes got wide and ran out of the room with a loud 'ewe'. Everyone followed him out, laughing at his reaction. Allie got to her business.
"What do you mean I have lice?" Ginny screamed at Madam Pomfrey moments later.
"Sorry dear, but we'll have to shave your head. Otherwise, they will eat you alive!" Pomfrey told her. Ginny fell to the ground and fainted. Pomfrey picked her up and set her in a barber's chair that had magically appeared. She first took some scissors and clipped away as much hair as possible. Then she shook up a can of shaving cream. She put a load of it on what was left of Ginny's hair and smoothed it over. She grabbed her razor and started shaving off every bit of hair on Ginny's head.
Ginny woke up later that day and checked her watch. She was late for Care of Magical Creatures! She raced out of the Hospital Wing without a thought and joined the Gryffindors with the Ravenclaws.
"Ginny? I didn't recognize you with that new haircut!" Hagrid told her with a smile.
"Sorry?" Ginny asked. Hagrid handed her a mirror. Ginny screamed.
"It's lumpy! I have a lumpy head! Oh my goodness!" Ginny exclaimed.
Hagrid held back his snickers as he went to teach the rest of his class.
That night, Ron came to dinner with a different look too.
"I'm sorry, didn't I see you on Jerry Springer yesterday?" Whitley joked.
Ron had a mullet and was wearing a yellow dress. He had pantyhose on with some high-heels.
"Oh my gosh! You stole my clothes!" Allie hollered.
Hermione walked into the Great Hall and giggled.
"Ronald Weasley, you'll never change, will you?" Hermione laughed.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ron asked.
"I got out of jail because of my good behavior. I'm better now," Hermione said with grin.
Hermione sat down opposite of Allie.
"You're baby is so cute!" Hermione said. She pulled a bottle out of her pocket. It was medication called Happy Days.
"Hermione is taking 'happy pills'!" Whitley laughed quietly to Draco.
Fred and George got up without a word. They headed straight to their common room.
"Do you have the stuff?" Fred asked George. George pulled out a paper bag.
"Best beer and cigarettes that Goyle carried. He pulled out some beers and opened them with his teeth. He lit his cigarette with his wand.
They smoked and smoked for a long time.
"I think I need some air!" Fred coughed as he opened a window. "Wow!"
"What is it?" asked George.
"The cows! They are flying!" Fred said looking outside. George came beside him.
"Wow, look at the flying cows! That one winked at me!" George said in awe.
All of the sudden, a large pile of dung flew in and splattered in Fred's face. George laughed and smeared it in more. A cow fell from the sky with a loud 'moo'.
"I need to go to the bathroom! I think that chocolate pudding did something to me!" Harry said as he finally got up from his table in the Great Hall. Ron smacked him on the butt and said, "Go get 'em tiger!"
Harry headed straight for the toilet. He sat on the can and let loose. A truckload of diarrhea spewed out of him and into the water of the toilet.
"That stinks!" Harry said. Chunks rose in his throat and he puked everywhere. He bent over to puke more and his diarrhea splattered all over the wall behind him. It was like he was trying to spray-paint the walls.
Harry picked up a large turd from inside the toilet. His hands were black. He took the turd and stuffed it in his mouth. Finally noticing the awful taste, his spit in back out.
"Wait!" Harry said as he reached back for the turd. He made a small box appear out of nowhere and put the turd in the box.
Back in the Great Hall, Allie was chatting with Whitley and Libbie.
"So I was thinking I'd sing with your band sometime. Dumbledore says a little performance would be great during a dinner. Hold on, I'll show you what I can do!" Allie said as she cleared her throat.
"He was a boy,
She was a girl,
Can I make it any more obvious,
He was a punk,
She did ballet,
What more can I say,
He wanted her,
She'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well,
But all of her friends, Stuck up their nose,
They had a problem with his baggy clothes."
Whitley and Libbie looked at each other like they were scared.
"We can't let her go up there and sing as bad as that!" Libbie said.
"We'll have to find a spell. She'll never know. If she does, she'll thank us," Whitley whispered.