How long has it been since I've kept a diary? I think the last time I had one was when I was nine years old. It was bound in red leather and had a star carved on the front, but I remember that Father said I shouldn't waste my time on writing silly fantasies. He said if I had free time, I should use it to train. I remember wondering why did he keep pushing me to be a strong warrior if I never got to use my skills.
It's been five years since Zieg's death. I know he has died because I can't feel him anymore, and because the Black Monster is still alive, the damned creature. When the screams had faded and the darkness seemed to disappear, I walked back to my home, holding my son's hand. The entire village was in ashes and destruction. It pained me to have to look.
Search as we may, we couldn't find Zieg's body. He must have been personally destroyed by the Black Monster. I don't want to think about how. But we did find his necklace, with the shining red pendant. He never took this necklace off. I held it in my hands for such a long time before placing it around Dart's neck.
I took Dart and we fled to Mille Seseau at first, but still I felt so afraid, so we boarded a ship to Serdio. We live now in a small, quiet village, Seles. I still feel so frightened and sad and cornered, but I have been learning how to calm myself.
Dart has made many friends, especially with a little girl named Shana, five years younger than him. She is a very sweet child, pretty, and so polite to me. I can see the way she adores Dart, and I have to smile. It's been a while since a real smile. I can never forget Neet.
I myself have made acquaintances with the Seles villagers. I know I strike them as a bit strange, a single mother who won't speak of the past, who sharpens knives and practices fighting instead of cooking. Of course, I am not a bad mother, or at least I don't think so. Dart never complains of anything, and though I teach him how to fight, I am nothing like my father. Anyway, one of the village women, Shana's mother, the wife of the mayor, has persuaded me to write the diary. She said that perhaps it can take away some of the sadness on my face. I am getting worry creases around my eyes and mouth. I can't stop worrying, can't stop being scared. Father said never to be scared, but I can't help it. Every time I close my eyes, I see Zieg running back to Neet, see the Black Monster hovering over the town.
Dart has grown into a fine young man. He'll be eleven in a couple of months. The people here all love him for his charm, honesty, and courage. They tell me I have raised a fine son. Even though I teach him how to use his fists, and the Rouge arts, he prefers the sword. He has found a sword master here, Tasman, who teaches him in payment of a few favors once in a while, like cleaning his house or watching it when he is gone on his frequent journeys. I am only too happy to oblige if it means that Dart can have a good male role model, and a warm teacher to teach him many things. Seles is such a nice town, a lot like Neet.
I cannot write anymore. If I do, I will cry, and Father said never to cry. It shows weakness, and I am not weak.