There's something wrong with Ranma
Thanks for the reviews and it is time for some explanations
Some of the mystery is going to be revealed next chapter
This chapter is all about The Tendo sisters & it is all humor
Don't own Ranma blah blah blah, but I do own Eko the Cat so there
**Still means thoughts (If you haven't got it by now)
Please read my other stories
Ch. 7. INTERLUDE: Tendo, Akane Tendo
China near certain springs that everyone hates:
"GUYS!!! Leave me alone"
Akane has been running, swimming, or climbing to escape her pursuers that either want to kill her or mate her.
She didn't even notice when the guide warned her to stay out. Now she was worried as she remembered where she was as she carefully avoided falling into any springs. Suddenly a ribbon wrapped around her wrist
"Take your punishment like the brute you are"
Akane felt Kodachi try and throw her, knowing that any throw would result in her getting cursed; she grabbed the ribbon and spun it in the air and letting go. Kodachi fly through the air and landed in a spring. The guide appeared out of nowhere
"Oh no! Honor guest has fallen in
spring of Drowned Emu. Very tragic
story about Emu, who drowned 500 years ago.
Now anyone who touches water takes on form of Emu"
Akane stopped listening at "emu" because she watched one crawl out, wearing a leotard. Akne fell on her stomach laughing at the scene before
"Beloved Akane! I shall finally make
you mine"
Akane didn't even bother to look. She
took out her mallet and hit Kuno hard.
He landed into the nearest spring.
"Oh No. Honor guest! You knocked him
into spring of Drowned Turtle! Very
tragic story about Turtle, who drowned 700 years ago. Now anyone who touches water takes on form of Turtle."
Akane laughed even harder watching a turtle crawl out the water with a bokken in it's mouth. She then duck from a blow from Uyko's spatula. She countered and kicked her into a pool close by. (This is stress relieving)
"Oh No. She fell into spring of Drowned kid!"
One by one Akane had punted most of her pursuers
"Drowned Toad": Gosunkagi
"Drowned Moose": Mousse
"Drown middle-aged fat guy who
sells shoes": Cologne
"Drowned dog": Shampoo
This was how it went. Akane lost years of stress each time one of Ranma or her rivals went into a pool. Soon it was herself. She was about to leave the curse springs and head for home when she tripped and fell into a shallow pool (OH CRAP!) She got out the pool and headed for the guide
"What the hell did I just turn into?"
"Spring of Drowned Ifrit"
Akane took out her compact mirror and looked into it. She looked the same except her hair was on fire, but she wasn't burning. Also she had two flaming wings. She felt filled with power unknown before. (Hey I look pretty cool) She thought examining her retractable steel claws. She has about to fly away, when a very happy Ryoga ran into her. He took her hands and hugged her.
"I'm free! I accidentally fell into spring of drowned
man. My curse is gone!"
"What do you mean curse?" she asked curious. (Ryoga had a curse!)
"I am no longer cursed to turn into that damn black pig! No more P-CHAN!" Ryoga said, not realizing who he was talking to
"Oh"
Ryoga then realized his
mistake. He looked upon the girl who
was glowing red. He saw her hands close
and when they opened, in them was a humongous mallet.
"You mean to tell me. That you
were…P-Chan?"
"UH UH UH UH UH UH."
Akane smiled which scared the
boy even more
"Tell me the truth Ryoga. I won't get
mad"
"You mean it?"
"Yes"
"Okay the truth is that I was
P-Chan. Ranma accidentally knocked me
into the cursed spring, after chasing him here. After I met you in Nerima I fell in love with you, but being
scared, I for opted being your pet."
"So each time Ranma tried to sneak in my room at night…"
"He was trying to expose me"
"and I would just beat him"
"But you did it for me. Now I know you
love me. Now that I am all man, we can
be together."
Ryoga suddenly found himself unconscious from receiving about a thousand blows from a mallet within twenty seconds. Akane easily picked him up over her shoulder. She turned to the guide
"Which Spring is the Spring of Curse Piglet?"
The guide, scared of the one
turned Ifrit, pointed to the spring.
Akane bowed and quickly dumped Ryoga's head in the pool turning him into
the pig again.
"And so you can't find your way back…"
She took out an even bigger
mallet.
"FORE!!"
And with a swing that would make Tiger Wood's jaw drop, she launched 'P-Chan'
into low orbit, around the moon that is.
"BLOODY STINKING PERVERT!!!!"
Akane stormed of knocking the
guide into a pool.
"Hey you knocked me into pool of drowned playboy!"
The guide paused for a second. Then he did a victory sign
"Thank You!"
He then took the rest of the day off and headed off for the nearest club, not before kicking out various cursed people wallowing in self pity and locking the springs. He then left for a much need vacation.
Nerima, Kuno Mansion:
Sasuke walked in front of the door. He was worried because just an hour ago the screaming stopped. (Maybe Master Kuno went too far by concluding his twelve-hour music act by doing a three-hour strip show.) The short ninja shuddered. He entered the room and was surprise to see what in found. The room was empty. The chair and ropes destroyed. On the walls written in blood was "KILL ALL KUNOS"
"It is time that I take a
vacation. Something tells me that this
is not going to be pleasant"
"OH how right you are"
He turned around, to find a shotgun barrel in his mouth. He looked into Nabiki's face and pissed his
pants. The only thing he could see in
her face where her eves and they were glowing a part red.
"UMMAAAPPPHFFF" He said with the barrel in his mouth.
"That's right I escaped. I dislocated my wrist to slip out the
ropes. Where is the fat guy"
"UG CHUULS"
"AT School?"
The scared ninja nodded. Nabiki took the barrel out of his mouth and left the room. He sighed in relief until she came back in.
"This is for knocking me out"
She shot him in one knee
"This is for tying me up"
She shot him in the elbow.
"But this is for forcing me to watch that"
She tied him up to a new chair and put the tape on auto rewind and play. That was when the screaming started again. This time it was from a crippled ninja. Nabiki smirked and ran out the Kuno Mansion looking for her next target
Downtown Nerima:
"Kasumi do you see that?" Ranma pointed in the sky licking her ice cream cone
"Yes I do Ranma it looks like
a flying pig"
"That is impossible"
"Yeah I guess it is, but in Nerima, things like that do happen"
"You mean like the expression 'Only if pigs fly'"
Both girls looked at each other and burst out laughing. They would of continued, but Kasumi saw someone
"Nabiki!"
The middle Tendo sister stopped. Putting her shotgun away
"Kasumi?"
"Where have you been? You missed lunch
and dinner"
"I can't. It is too horrible"
"Tell us" Ranma pleaded. From what Kasumi told her about Nabiki, she thought she was rather cool
"Okay but don't say I didn't
warn you"
Nabiki told of where she has
been for the whole day and what has happened to her. When she was done, Ranma was in the ally, puking everything she
ate that day, Eko was meowing her sympathy at Nabiki, and Kasumi, well Kasumi
did not stop smiling. Nabiki was unnerved by her older sister's calm. Kasumi waited tell Ranma came back before
she spoke.
"Follow me"
Nabiki and Ranma looked at each other and shrugged. They followed the elder girl until they were outside Furinken High
"Is he in there?"
"Yes, but sister wait are you going to do?"
"Wait here."
Nabiki was about to warn Kasumi about Mr. Kuno's insanity but shut up when she
saw Kasumi take a katana and a whip out of nowhere. Kasumi walked into the school.
Silence ticked on until Ranma and Nabiki heard screaming coming deep
from within the school
"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY
SISTER YOU PREVERT!!!!"
"WAIT KI'KE!!!STOP CUTTING ME!!!! I'M SORRY!!! NO DON'T WHIP ME
EITHER!!!!!OWWWW STOP!! I'M SORRY!!!!
I MEAN IT I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
FORGIVE ME
"NO FORGIVENESS YOU FAT BEEP! I'M
GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR BEEP AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BEEP!!! THEN I'M GOING TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!"
"NO DON'T….AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"RUN ALL YOU WANT FAT BOY! SCREAM ALL YOU WANT!!! I'M STILL GOING TO CATCH YOU!!!!"
"SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME!!!!"
"THERE IS NO GOD COMING TO SAVE YOU FAT BOY!!!!"
Nabiki and Ranma looked at each other in amazement.
"Was that really Kasumi?" Ranma asked
Suddenly there was a high-pitched scream like that of a little girl
"I think it is best if we forget this" Nabiki said
"Agreed"
Kasumi came out with the same smile, hold a bloody Katana and a worn out whip. She cleaned them and put them away in her dress, perfectly concealing them
"Come on Nabiki, lets get you some thing to eat."
Kasumi walked ahead.
"Your sister is truly scary"
"Yes she is"
"Come on Nabiki and Ranma!"
"Coming!!!"
End of Interlude
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