Diary ~

This journey just keeps getting more interesting by the day. We are again on the blasted Queen Fury, sailing the oceans. Meru, Shana, and I are the only ones who will speak to Lloyd. Rose, after supporting my side, retreated into her own darkness, crankier than usual and no longer shy and polite to me. Kongol who had also stood on my side, now casts me an apologetic glance and said that "leader Dart's" opinion was that Lloyd was dangerous. Father has been acting all but suspicious and rude to everyone lately. I have no idea why he supported me since he obviously hates Lloyd and my decision to help him so much. Not to mention Albert won't even look at me nowadays, and Dart keeps all our conversations short. He wasn't even like this in his teenage years…

"I'm not worth this." Lloyd finally said one day. He has taken to long silences and quiet musings.

"Of course you are. It'll just take them a while to get used to the idea." I told him almost painfully; I was trying hard not to throw up. "They've no choice anyway. If you leave, I'm leaving with you, and that would upset my son, which would affect the rest of them to some extent. Besides, they need you in order to find out what on earth's going on with this so-called Emperor Diaz."

In spite of his casual attitude and smirking face, Lloyd really does have a low self-esteem. I wonder what Dart would say if I told him everything that had been going on.

Meru still hasn't exactly come outright and told us that she is a Wingly, which is fine with me. It's her secret. But I see Lloyd sometimes looking at her in disapproval. When I asked him why, he said that it was because Meru didn't take pride in her Wingly blood. "She parades around dressed like a human, acting like a human. I've never seen her exercise her wings once. How can she stand it if she has wings and doesn't use them?" He said at one time.

"I don't have wings either. I can't fly. What do Wingly wings look like? I've only seen them in textbooks."

At this, he smirked and turned around. The two ridges along his back that were his shoulder blades bulged further, until the black cloth of his vest tore two long slits through which his wings slid through. They were beautiful, like gossamer or spider web, and I didn't dare to touch them. They were about an arm's length each and caught the light and reflected it like dew did.

"One day I will take you flying." Lloyd promised, retracting the wings and leaving the two tears in his vest.

I'm feeling so nauseous from this seasickness that I can't even think of flying or doing anything else that took more energy than talking. "You take a lot of pride in being a Wingly, but don't blame Meru for choosing to ignore her heritage for now. Not many people are…accepting. I mean Winglies did enslave the Humans at one point, and a lot of people don't really forgive and forget, even if it was eleven thousand years ago."

"You did."

"Yes well, I've given it a lot of thought. And besides, Meru is the Water Dragoon now. She's sticking with the rest of the Dragoons and so are you, so get used to it. I have a feeling she'll show her wings sooner or later anyway."

"I doubt she even knows what forest she came out of." Lloyd was still rambling about that.

"I do too." Meru had surprised us both by appearing behind us, hands on her hips and an indignant look on her face. "I came from the Evergreen Forest of Winglies in Mille Seseau, one of the biggest forests there is, so HA!" She crossed her arms. "Don't you dare say I don't take pride in being a Wingly. Sure, there are some things about Wingly blood that I don't like, like how Winglies once imprisoned humans and made them fight to the death, and how most humans hate them nowadays, but I wouldn't give up my blood and my wings!" Tears sparkled in her eyes and she stamped her foot. "I was just gonna come clean and tell everyone that, because I figured if you did, I could too. Then at least I would have another Wingly with me."

It was a long time before anyone said anything, but finally Lloyd said, "All right. I apologize."

I had put my arm around her and gave her my seat. "It's all right. Rose and I already know anyway, and I doubt the others will care what race you are. Lloyd's just being mean." When he opened his mouth to protest I glared at him and he quieted, apologizing again.

There was one thing that confused me. "What are you two talking about, forests, anyway?"

"Winglies don't exactly roam the earth like they used to." Meru said, sniffling. "So they stay in their forests, concealed by magical portals, away from the rest of the world. My forest was so stuffy and old-fashioned, and I couldn't handle it! So I broke the laws by coming out into the human world, to see if I could learn more about humans." She seemed to have forgiven Lloyd, because she asked him what forest he was from and why he broke the laws.

"Actually, I didn't break any of the laws because I don't belong in any forest. I lived in a secluded place, magical, but not exactly a forest. There weren't many people there. When I left, no one stopped me." He replied. "I didn't mean to insult you. I was merely upset that you didn't take pride in being a Wingly like I did."

"I do too." She repeated and the conversation was over. I guess it was on a friendly note, because they talk now. Meru had told us all last night that she was a Wingly, and there was some discussion, but basically, like I predicted, nobody really cared. Meru was our friend, and it didn't matter what race she was! Now all they have to do is realize that Lloyd is our friend too…

A thought just crossed my mind. What if he isn't, and this is all just another ploy?

No, impossible. I had seen the look on his face as I told him the truth, and as he told me the truth. He truly believed in his goal, and he believed what I said, so there is no way he can be deceiving us.

If only Dart would realize that!

I suppose he inherited his father's stubbornness.

I wonder what Zieg would think of Lloyd, and how he would feel if I told him that I was a bit attracted to Lloyd. Just a bit, you know? Would Zieg be angry? After all, I was his wife, but he had always been understanding. Had he changed since Rose knew him? If he were alive now, and knew she was too, who would he choose?

It occurred to me that I would be okay with either choice. Hmm, strange.

Anyway, we reached the island surprisingly quick, and enlisting the help of Pete, who remembered us, we were led to the Prison Island, where the Dragon rested, screaming. Its roars echoed through the caves as we crossed a fast-flowing river deeper into the cave, where the Sea Dragon undoubtedly lay.

Meru screamed when she neared it, her hands at her head.

We went to her immediately and when Shana managed to calm her down with a touch of her Dragoon Spirit, Meru was panting, with tears in her eyes. "The Dragon's name is Regole." She told us, and her voice was sure. "It's my Dragon, the Dragon of Water. It's…lonely. Confused…and scared…" She looked at Dart. "Do we have to kill it?"

I remember seeing him stare at her inquisitively.

"It's my Dragon. I'm sure you feel it too. When you become a Dragoon, you just know your Dragon and everything about it. You feel it. Like, I know that its original mistress was Damia, a young girl, half human and half mermaid."

Rose made an inarticulate sound, and if everyone wasn't looking at her, I'm sure that she would have shed a tear or two.

"I don't want to kill it, Dart." Meru continued. "But you're in charge, and if you tell me to fight, I will. But… is there another way? Maybe…maybe we can convince it to stop, and avoid any bloodshed."

Dart looked at me for advice for half a second before realizing that he wasn't speaking to me, and then at Albert, his co-leader now that he didn't trust Rose. The King of Serdio listened to the painful roars of the Dragon, looked at Meru's tears, and nodded.

"Fine. Meru, you can have your chance to persuade it. We'll try as hard as we can to keep from killing it, okay? But…no promises. If it doesn't listen, we'll have to kill it."

The Wingly girl hugged him tightly and let out a yell of triumph. "Thanks, Dart! I'm sure that I can do something."

As we walked further along into the cave, Albert walked over to me, dragging a struggling Dart behind him by the arm. I was surprised how a young pretty-boy like the king was able to restrain a larger and taller boy as my son. "Claire, can we talk to you?" He was looking at Lloyd as he said this.

I shook my head. "I'm tired of the behind-the-curtain whispers. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Lloyd, even more so if it's about him. Shoot. What's wrong?"

Dart struggled more strongly at this, until Albert kicked him in the back of the leg.

"For goodness sake, you two are acting ten years younger than your age. Stop being immature and just tell me whatever it is you're thinking about."

Albert clearly didn't want to say this in front of Lloyd, so he kept his eyes firmly on my face and said, "I'm sorry. And Dart's sorry too. Or at least he will be if he doesn't say it right now. But…I guess I've been a King too long, having things in black and white. The defendant was either guilty or innocent. I'm sorry, Lloyd, and I'm willing to give you a second chance, even though it wasn't really your fault. And I'm sorry, Claire, for being a fool and not respecting your opinion."

Dart mumbled something and when Albert kicked him again, he scowled and said in a louder voice, "I'm sorry too, Mom. I guess I should have been more understand. It's just that…Lavitz…"

Lloyd cleared his throat, bringing their attention to him. "I apologize too, for hurting your friend."

Looking between them and feeling the awkwardness in the air, I clapped my hands and spoke. "Well, then, it's all settled. I'm glad. Now when this is over, I won't have to ground you, Dart. Now, shall we get on?"

"Uh…actually, it's not exactly all settled. Haschel seems to …not have…quelled his…unpleasantness over this topic yet. I wouldn't go near him if I were you, Lloyd. He was talking about ripping your head off." Albert warned. "He doesn't seem to like the attention that his daughter is giving you."

Away from what happened to right now, I can't believe that Father is making such a big deal of this! But I suppose all parents do… No, that's not right. I was happy when Dart showed an interest in Shana. Well, that was because I was close to Shana as well, and I approved of her. We can't have this tension on the team. Father should know that! It seems like I will have to have a talk with him.

Anyway, back to the entry, Lloyd and Albert had struck up a conversation about the government in Bale, and Dart was speaking to me. "Mom, Grandpa was right, wasn't he? You are taken with Lloyd."

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I just shrugged and went with the truth. "I suppose so, yes."

Dart shut his eyes and pinched his nose. "God, Mom, he's at least ten years younger than you."

"It's just a number." I replied. "Besides, he's a Wingly. They have longer lives, if they take care of themselves properly. He could be anywhere from twenty somewhat to as old as the Dragon Campaign."

"God."

I shrugged again. "Sorry, kiddo."

"Is he going to be my stepfather?"

That question I couldn't ignore. I would have exclaimed no, but I started cracking up. Arms wrapped around my sides, doubled over, cracking up.

"Mom? It wasn't a joke."

"Stepfather?" I gasped when I managed to breathe again. "Sweetheart, I don't think you understand something! It's a little crush, maybe a little deeper. And there are so many things wrong with what you just said. One: I haven't even told him. Two: He doesn't feel the same way. Three: What on earth makes you think that?"

Dart managed to shrug and scowl at the same time. "I don't know. I guess I'm still a kid after all when it comes to my mother."

I gave him a hug and told him that if I ever came to such a life-altering decision, I would consult him first. Father observed this from a distance and although he still seemed to hate Lloyd, he did give him a Healing Potion when he asked. I guess that's a start, right?

It's a delight to watch Lloyd fight. Aside from his unbelievable strength and wind-swift speed, he was a beauty on the battlefield, liquid-fluid moves and mountain-cat grace.

Uh-oh, maybe Dart and Father were right and it's more than just a little crush.

When we encountered Regole, it was at the end of the cave, which we thought was solid rock until Shana discovered a draft of wind near the ground, which was a small tunnel. Rose tested the size of it.

"If we squeeze, I think we can all fit, except for Kongol." Rose looked at the Giganto with a sympathetic grimace. "Looks like you have to stay here. We can double back for you after we're finished with Regole."

Kongol shook his head, his eyes anxious. "Kongol not want to be alone! Kongol need company. Kongol not alone."

It was a confession to his loneliness and it also gave him enough strength to grab his axe and chuck it at the wall hard enough so that it splintered and collapsed. Now it was big enough for him to fit.

Rose gaped at him for a moment. "Well, uh, I guess that would work. Should we go?" She looked at Dart as she said this, and he nodded. I notice that they still do not engage in voluntary conversation. My son is still upset over what she has done. But their tension is so subtle that the others merely think they have nothing to talk about and that nothing is amiss. I wonder if Dart will ever forgive her? And will she ever forgive herself?

Regole was a beautiful Dragon, long and slithery, with skin like mushy rubber. Its head swiveled on its neck as it screamed and roared.

"Water Dragon Regole!" Meru yelled as she transformed and flew up to be on eye level with it. It was the first time I had seen her transform. I am envious of her beautiful armor. "Regole! Do you know me?"

The Dragon stopped its screaming and the silence was frightening as the whiskers on its face twitched and it arched its neck toward her. I was so scared; I thought it was going to eat her, until it let out a beautiful mournful wail. Meru smiled, reached out a hand and settled it on its snout. "I am the new Water Dragoon, Meru, and your new master."

Regole wailed, nudging at her hand again.

Meru smiled at it, placed a delicate kiss on its water-slick forehead and flew back down to us, de-transforming back into a Human. She tossed a look at Lloyd and then her wings slid out of her skin.

It was weird watching it. When Lloyd showed me his wings, he had a vest over his back, so I couldn't really see it. But Meru's flesh on her back was pale and uncovered and I could actually see the skin bulging out and bursting open like a caterpillar emerging from the cocoon. It was frightening and strangely beautiful at the same time.

"See? I'm not ashamed to be a Wingly." She told him, fluttering in the air.

Lloyd's wings appeared too, conveniently using the tears in his vest that he had created before. Along with the others, who had never seen Wingly wings—aside from Rose who had known them up close and personal, Soa knows how many wings she had severed in the Dragon Campaign—I stared at them, mesmerized.

He must have seen me looking at them. "You can feel them if you want." He stretched out a wing slightly, but not much, because their wings were attached directly to their shoulder blades and to stretch them sideways would be like pulling your finger sideways too hard.

Hesitantly as if afraid I would somehow hurt him, or break them if I wasn't gentle enough, I trailed my fingertips over them. You have no idea how good it feels! Physically, they are like glass, strong and stiff, inflexible. But…when I felt them, my entire body quivered with magical energy. It was like the wings themselves thrummed with power so that when I pulled back I felt slightly lightheaded and euphoric.

"Our wings is mainly what separates us from Humans." Lloyd told me. "It's our power."

"You're lucky." I told him, feeling a bit awkward because the others were watching this exchange, especially Father, and I knew his eyes were narrowed. Later on, Shana told me that he was looking furious.

"I wasn't lying before," Lloyd said, and his voice had dropped quieter, though not so much so that the others would think we were sharing some secret. "I will take you flying one day."

"So!" A voice yelled. I had jumped back as though caught doing something wrong, and a woman leapt down a few yards away, her hands on her hips. After a few moments I recognized her as Lenus, from the devastatingly revealing costume she was wearing, which showed a long and deep scar across her chest, maybe a stab wound that had been dragged.

"You bastard!" She screamed, jabbing a finger accusingly at Lloyd. "I should have known!"

He stared at her in sort of an amused way, yet his surprise evident on his face. I remember thinking that wherever he had come from, he must have been some sort of royalty, because he acted the part almost as well as Albert did. "I thought you died."

"I did. Or at least for a while. I might have just passed out."

"I checked your pulse. You were dead."

Lenus rolled her eyes and glared at him as if they were the only people here. "Give me a break, Lloyd. Maybe you've been away from your forest for too long. You forget that Winglies can stop their heartbeat for several minutes, to fool the enemy. The deep stab wound helped too. It was easy to pass out and stop my pulse."

"Lloyd stabbed her?" Shana murmured.

"No." I snapped, glaring at Lenus. "The crazy bitch stabbed herself." I didn't mean to swear, it's just that I was pissed at the way she was talking to Lloyd.

Now Lenus turned fully to look at me. "Oh, it's you." She took a step forward, and I thought she was going to attack me because I moved into a fighting stance, reflex.

Lloyd must have thought so too, because he snapped for the first time. "Leave her alone!"

Lenus stared at him, her eyes hurt and angry. "So. I knew it. You've left me for her. You back-stabbing sorry piece of shit!"

He glared at her, and moved forward until he was standing next to me. His way of protecting me, I suppose. "If you stop to think for a minute, woman, with your brain instead of your hormones, you might realize that I was never with you in the first place so I could never leave you! You did everything for me out of your own free will, and I never had to convince you and I never led you on."

Lenus was now staring at him in horror and pure fury. "You…you bastard!"

"I don't know what you're thinking, lady, but you better leave." I think it was the first time I really lost my temper, except for that time when Dart was a kid and the town bully punched him. "You're not the Water Dragoon anymore, and you hold no power over us. Get out of the way."

"Shut up!" She yelled, putting her hands over ears. "Shut up, shut up, shut UP!"

Her hands suddenly slid down her sides, to the twin chakrams on both of her outer thighs, lifted them out of their hooks and threw them.

"Look out!" Shana would later on tell me what had happened, but this is what I remember. Suddenly I was a few steps sideways, bewildered. One of the circular knives had launched past me, shearing off a length of my hair. Lloyd was sprawled on his knees, in front of me. Shana told me he had pushed me out of the way.

He had saved me from one, but not the other. As Lenus had aimed for chest level, and he was kneeling, it was going to behead him.

"No!" I reached for the one deflecting weapon—a blade—within reach. The Dragon Buster.

I grabbed the dragon-head hilt from its resting place on Lloyd's right hip. There was no blade, and I remembered that in Hellena Prison the blade had appeared when he held it. But there wasn't time. So I did the only thing I could do at that moment, without killing myself.

I willed the blade to appear.

It came as Called, fiery tendrils twisting around my wrist and turning to snake up into the air and form the blade. It looks sort of like Wingly wings, threaded through with what looks like spider webs, yet it was stronger than the most powerful alloy.

Including Lenus's chakram.

Holding it with both hands, I tilted the blade upright and swung. I actually managed to hit the chakram and deflect it.

But my aim was wrong. Maybe because the blade was so damn HEAVY! But instead of knocking it back to Lenus as I had intended, it soared at Dart and Shana. I screamed.

Shana knocked my son out of the way. The blade just barely missed her. It even cut a tear through her shirt, but not the skin. Thank…the stars for that.

The chakram itself flew back to Lenus. She caught it expertly.

"Lenus!" Meru yelled, and Regole echoed her anger, thrashing in the water. "Stop!"

Lenus responded by tossing the chakram at Meru.

And Meru hovered there in the air, unmoving. Her fists were clenched but she wasn't moving. At the last second she transformed. The circular blade rebounded off of her Dragoon chest armor, clattering to the ground after ricocheting off several objects.

As soon as she had withstood the attack, Meru moved.

I had no idea she could do that. I had always thought of her as a quick child, but never so powerful.

With an uplifting motion of her hands, the water in the lake moved. Up. A tsunami kind of up. A tidal wave. It crashed down on Lenus and pushed her down into the water. Meru kept the water moving, pushing, down now, swirls and whirlpools appearing on the surface.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, she stopped. The water calmed and Regole wailed. Lenus's body floated to the surface and the Sea Dragon carried it to the shore.

Meru transformed back with a flash of blue light, collapsing on her hands and knees. The others rushed over to her, but she seemed all right. She's being really quiet now, though. I wonder if she feels guilty for killing Lenus, who was also a Wingly, and blood to her, after all. But Lenus had tried to kill us, and that made her another one of the simple monsters that attacked for no reason. Which meant she had to be killed. I have no qualms about it. But maybe I should talk to Meru after I finish this entry.

Anyway—that seems to be a common word in my entries—we stuck around to make sure that Lenus really and truly was dead. While they were bustling over Meru and Shana, I spoke to Lloyd.

"Thank you."

He had hit his arm on a rock when he pushed me out of the way, and he was nursing it then, but he managed to smile. "Not a problem. Your life is worth saving. Besides, if it weren't for me, Lenus wouldn't have tried to attack you."

Rose came over to us. "Claire, you managed to Call on the blade of the Dragon Buster."

Lloyd seemed to suddenly remember this as well. "That's right. How did you do that?"

"Uh…I willed it. I just called on it, and it came." I didn't understand why they were making such a big deal about it. I still don't. Lloyd and Rose just told me to leave it, that it didn't matter. But if it didn't, why did Rose frown and Lloyd have a strange glint in his eyes?

Well, after we waited for about twenty minutes to make sure that Lenus wasn't faking her non-pulse, we left.

While we were on our way back, Father walked over to Lloyd and held out his hand, somewhat reluctantly. "Er…thanks. I guess. You know, for saving my daughter. She's all I have, you know."

Lloyd shook his hand. "No problem." That might be when Haschel and Lloyd first started their friendship, though the threat in Father's last words was evident.

Oh yeah, my hair. Lenus's chakram cut off a length of it when it whizzed by me. I was…very upset by this. But Shana and Meru offered to fix it for me. I'm not sure whether I should trust them. Meru, though she had shown maturity and bravery back there, was back to her hyperactive self, and I am afraid that she will go snip-happy and chop off more than Lenus did. And Shana? Well, I let her cut my hair once when she was fourteen. It…did not come out well.

Maybe I'll ask Rose for help. Her hair seems nice and even.