Sweet Madness
Chapter 2/?
A/N: Thanks again for all the comments! :D Also this whole chapter is set in the past, back to right after the accident and all. :) We'll be back to one month later in the next one :)
When they arrived, Weiss was the first to meet her. He'd been informed of the events of earlier that night. Sydney looked to his sad face and the image of Vaughn on the other side of the window flashed before her eyes again. She closed her eyes, trying to make it go away.
She hadn't gone to change her clothes or anything, but she didn't care what they thought. She'd just lost someone very dear to her, her look was the last thing on her mind. After going through the meetings as required, she went to see Weiss. After the meeting, he'd gone back to his office. When he saw her walk in, he stood and walked up to her.
They stood before each other, unsure of what to do. Instinctively, he put his arms around her, hoping it would bring small comfort. "How are you doing?" he asked her calmly. She welcomed the hug.
"I don't know... None of this seems real..." she said as they parted. "I can't help thinking..." She stopped, looking down.
"What?" he prompted her.
"I can't help thinking it was my fault somehow," she finally admitted.
"Sydney, don't..." he started, but she interrupted him.
"I should have known he'd come looking for me... Why didn't I insist he stay back no matter what? If I'd done that, I'd have made it out and he could have been there waiting for me and we would have come back here together..." she said, not caring how emotional she may have seemed or whether she had started crying. "How could this have happened?" she asked no one in particular.
"It wasn't your fault, okay? Don't say that," Weiss insisted, not sure how to make her feel better. She had a tough road ahead of her, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Maybe it wasn't... But it still feels like it was, a-and I'm sorry but... I can't change that, I can't feel any differently about it right now."
"I understand," he assured her. He didn't really know what to say. "Hey, you thirsty? Hungry? Anything?"
"I'm fine, but thanks," she said, forcing out a small smile.
"You're welcome."
"Is it okay if I just stay here for a bit? I don't want to go back out there yet," she said, giving a sideways look to the space beyond the office.
"As long as you need to," he said. She nodded a thanks. Weiss sat back down. Neither really had anything to say. They just sat there in silence. That was broken a few minutes later when Jack came knocking at the door.
"Sorry to disturb you, Agent Weiss..." he started, until his eyes fell on his daughter. "Sydney..." She stood. He looked at her, seeing how miserable she seemed. He turned back to Weiss. "Never mind... Sydney, could I talk to you? In private?" She nodded silently.
"Thanks," she turned to Weiss before leaving.
"No problem."
Jack took Sydney to an empty conference room. The two sat one in front of the other. "I know this must be a hard time for you, but there are some things we need to discuss..." he started eventually.
"I saw her..." she said simply, not really looking at him. Even then she knew she didn't have to tell him who she was talking about.
"You did..." he replied, no emotion in particular present in his voice.
"She wanted me to... She wanted me to join her."
"What did you say?"
"I said I couldn't." She looked up into her father's eyes finally.
"You did the right thing," he assured her.
"I guess... I wish I'd been able to talk to her more, try to find out some things but... After I told her no, she only said I could go, no one would stop me, and she left." She tried to read her father's eyes. "It's not over, is it?"
"No, it's not," he confirmed.
"What do I do now?" she asked her father.
"You'll have to go back to SD-6 at some point, but I think you should go home for now."
"No... No, I wanna go to SD-6. There are some things I need to take care of." He nodded. "I need to borrow something from you, though."
*
After changing back to her regular clothes, she drove to the Credit Dauphine building. She made her way up to where her cubicle was. She quickly found Dixon sitting at his desk. She didn't really want to do what she was about to, but she had no choice anymore.
He looked up and saw her. It hurt to see the way he looked at her now. She hoped after she did what she was about to, he'd eventually look at her the same as he used to.
She made sure he saw her walk into a room and she hoped she'd given him enough hints that he'd follow. She waited and a few seconds later he walked in. He closed the door behind him and locked eyes with her.
She took out the pen she'd borrowed from her father and flipped the lid. "Hi," she said, trying to keep calm.
"Hello," he returned, looking at the pen in her hands. She hadn't felt this nervous around him since early in their partnership.
"We don't have much time... Here," she said, handing him a piece of paper. He opened it and found an address and a time.
"What is this?" he asked.
"My proof that I'm not doing anything bad... Please just come." He looked at her and finally nodded.
*
"I want you to know that I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to be dragged into this, too."
"I don't understand..." he started.
"Ever heard of the Alliance of Twelve?"
"You're working for them?" he asked, taken aback slightly. She was silent for a few seconds, as if she were considering whether to go on.
"So are you," she said.
"What are you saying?"
"I know it's hard to take in, I had the same reaction when I found out. SD-6 isn't part of the CIA..."
"This is insane," Dixon said as he turned to leave.
"Been to Langley lately?" she asked as he started walking. He stopped and turned to her. He knew she had him there.
"Who do you work for?" he asked slowly.
"I'm a double agent with the CIA. And now that you know, you need to consider what you'll do. SD-6 can't find out about this. If you'll take it, I may have an option for you. I don't want to ask you this, but it might be the only way."
"Are you really telling the truth?" he asked.
"Yes, I am. You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you, lying to you... I didn't like it. I never liked it, and I don't want to have to do it again." He considered her offer.
"What do I have to do?"
*
After she'd driven Dixon to meet with Devlin, she'd been told she could leave. She wasn't sure where to go. She didn't want to go home yet. Never making a conscious decision about it, she arrived at the pier. She got out of her car, walking to the place where she'd met with Vaughn some time before.
She'd been so busy taking care of the Dixon situation that she hadn't actually stopped to think about what had happened just the previous night. It still didn't seem real. In her mind he was alive and just lost, trying to find his way home. She couldn't think of the possibility he might be dead. She wasn't ready to accept that yet.
She was startled out of her thoughts at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She looked at the screen and she nearly dropped her phone in the water. She hesitated shortly before answering the call. "Hello?"
"Sydney..." Arvin Sloane's voice rang out in her ear. His tone was strange.
"Hello," she greeted him.
"I hope I'm not disturbing you."
"No, it's fine," she assured him, "What can I do for you?"
"I thought I should call you and tell you... Emily passed away last night." She thought her heart stopped beating for a second or two. Now the tone of his voice made sense.
"I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" she asked sincerely.
"I don't think it's quite sunk in yet," he said and she felt tears.
"I understand," she said, her mind drifting to Vaughn again.
"I guess you would," he spoke up. For a second she thought he knew, but then she remembered. Danny... "I won't be in the office for the next few days."
"Of course..."
"Anyway, I won't bother you any longer. Goodnight, Sydney."
"Goodnight..." She heard the click and she hung up as well. She tried not to think about it, but it was hard. Danny, Noah, now Vaughn... Why did everyone she got close to have to leave her this way? "No... he's not dead..." she found herself whispering to herself. She started heading back to her car.
That's when she remembered what had happened with Will. She decided to go see him. She had things to discuss with him as well. She was still wrestling with whether or not to bring him into this life.
"He IS in this life now. Whether you like it or not." Vaughn's words rang through her head.
*
She stepped into the room and her face fell. It didn't look good. He'd been cleaned up, but even then she could see the pain. He was asleep, so she went to sit at his bedside. She looked at him, trying to think about what she'd tell him. Just then his eyes fluttered open.
"Hey," she smiled.
"Figured you'd be here when I woke up," he smiled back. His speech was a bit broken up, but with what they'd done to him, she wasn't surprised.
"Happy to oblige. How are you feeling?"
"Like someone played crazy dentist in my mouth..."
"Yeah, I've been there," she nodded. He gave her a look. "Don't ask," she shrugged.
"Okay..." he agreed.
"So... Not counting the physical damage... are you okay?"
"I'm still trying to make sense of everything. I'm just glad I remembered before it was too late..."
"Remembered what?"
"My story... I gave it to someone at work, in a sealed envelope. I told her if anything happened to me, she had to publish it. I called her to tell her not to. Apparently I called just in time. She wanted to know why I was talking the way I was, but..."
"Good..." she nodded. "Are you tired? I'll let you sleep if..."
"No, it's okay." He looked at her and smiled a bit. "Don't take this the wrong way but... you look like heck."
"Thanks," she laughed quietly. It disappeared when the thoughts came back again. "Will... We really need to talk about something."
"What?"
"About what we do... now that you know."
*
After her visit with Will, she finally went home. When she'd finally went the previous night, no one was there. It was good, because she wasn't sure she could have faced Francie yet. She would have figured out a lot just by looking at her. When she walked in, she saw Francie sitting in front of the television.
"Hey, you're back," she said as she stood up, "Feel like I haven't seen you in..." She stopped when she got a good look at her. "Woah... Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured her.
"No, you're not..." Francie shook her head. Sydney looked to the side. "Come on, talk to me." She led her to the couch so they could sit.
"I just... I just lost two people... from work..." she explained slowly, hating to have to lie to her when she really needed some friendly comfort.
"Lost as in..." Sydney looked down again. "Oh... Sydney, I'm sorry," she said, hugging her friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'll be okay. Right now, I just want a normal night with a friend..."
"Well, I'm here for you," Francie smiled.
"Thanks." Since it had all started, she had continuously thanked whoever had sent Francie her way. No matter how bad things got, she knew she could always count on her.
Chapter 2/?
A/N: Thanks again for all the comments! :D Also this whole chapter is set in the past, back to right after the accident and all. :) We'll be back to one month later in the next one :)
When they arrived, Weiss was the first to meet her. He'd been informed of the events of earlier that night. Sydney looked to his sad face and the image of Vaughn on the other side of the window flashed before her eyes again. She closed her eyes, trying to make it go away.
She hadn't gone to change her clothes or anything, but she didn't care what they thought. She'd just lost someone very dear to her, her look was the last thing on her mind. After going through the meetings as required, she went to see Weiss. After the meeting, he'd gone back to his office. When he saw her walk in, he stood and walked up to her.
They stood before each other, unsure of what to do. Instinctively, he put his arms around her, hoping it would bring small comfort. "How are you doing?" he asked her calmly. She welcomed the hug.
"I don't know... None of this seems real..." she said as they parted. "I can't help thinking..." She stopped, looking down.
"What?" he prompted her.
"I can't help thinking it was my fault somehow," she finally admitted.
"Sydney, don't..." he started, but she interrupted him.
"I should have known he'd come looking for me... Why didn't I insist he stay back no matter what? If I'd done that, I'd have made it out and he could have been there waiting for me and we would have come back here together..." she said, not caring how emotional she may have seemed or whether she had started crying. "How could this have happened?" she asked no one in particular.
"It wasn't your fault, okay? Don't say that," Weiss insisted, not sure how to make her feel better. She had a tough road ahead of her, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Maybe it wasn't... But it still feels like it was, a-and I'm sorry but... I can't change that, I can't feel any differently about it right now."
"I understand," he assured her. He didn't really know what to say. "Hey, you thirsty? Hungry? Anything?"
"I'm fine, but thanks," she said, forcing out a small smile.
"You're welcome."
"Is it okay if I just stay here for a bit? I don't want to go back out there yet," she said, giving a sideways look to the space beyond the office.
"As long as you need to," he said. She nodded a thanks. Weiss sat back down. Neither really had anything to say. They just sat there in silence. That was broken a few minutes later when Jack came knocking at the door.
"Sorry to disturb you, Agent Weiss..." he started, until his eyes fell on his daughter. "Sydney..." She stood. He looked at her, seeing how miserable she seemed. He turned back to Weiss. "Never mind... Sydney, could I talk to you? In private?" She nodded silently.
"Thanks," she turned to Weiss before leaving.
"No problem."
Jack took Sydney to an empty conference room. The two sat one in front of the other. "I know this must be a hard time for you, but there are some things we need to discuss..." he started eventually.
"I saw her..." she said simply, not really looking at him. Even then she knew she didn't have to tell him who she was talking about.
"You did..." he replied, no emotion in particular present in his voice.
"She wanted me to... She wanted me to join her."
"What did you say?"
"I said I couldn't." She looked up into her father's eyes finally.
"You did the right thing," he assured her.
"I guess... I wish I'd been able to talk to her more, try to find out some things but... After I told her no, she only said I could go, no one would stop me, and she left." She tried to read her father's eyes. "It's not over, is it?"
"No, it's not," he confirmed.
"What do I do now?" she asked her father.
"You'll have to go back to SD-6 at some point, but I think you should go home for now."
"No... No, I wanna go to SD-6. There are some things I need to take care of." He nodded. "I need to borrow something from you, though."
*
After changing back to her regular clothes, she drove to the Credit Dauphine building. She made her way up to where her cubicle was. She quickly found Dixon sitting at his desk. She didn't really want to do what she was about to, but she had no choice anymore.
He looked up and saw her. It hurt to see the way he looked at her now. She hoped after she did what she was about to, he'd eventually look at her the same as he used to.
She made sure he saw her walk into a room and she hoped she'd given him enough hints that he'd follow. She waited and a few seconds later he walked in. He closed the door behind him and locked eyes with her.
She took out the pen she'd borrowed from her father and flipped the lid. "Hi," she said, trying to keep calm.
"Hello," he returned, looking at the pen in her hands. She hadn't felt this nervous around him since early in their partnership.
"We don't have much time... Here," she said, handing him a piece of paper. He opened it and found an address and a time.
"What is this?" he asked.
"My proof that I'm not doing anything bad... Please just come." He looked at her and finally nodded.
*
"I want you to know that I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to be dragged into this, too."
"I don't understand..." he started.
"Ever heard of the Alliance of Twelve?"
"You're working for them?" he asked, taken aback slightly. She was silent for a few seconds, as if she were considering whether to go on.
"So are you," she said.
"What are you saying?"
"I know it's hard to take in, I had the same reaction when I found out. SD-6 isn't part of the CIA..."
"This is insane," Dixon said as he turned to leave.
"Been to Langley lately?" she asked as he started walking. He stopped and turned to her. He knew she had him there.
"Who do you work for?" he asked slowly.
"I'm a double agent with the CIA. And now that you know, you need to consider what you'll do. SD-6 can't find out about this. If you'll take it, I may have an option for you. I don't want to ask you this, but it might be the only way."
"Are you really telling the truth?" he asked.
"Yes, I am. You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you, lying to you... I didn't like it. I never liked it, and I don't want to have to do it again." He considered her offer.
"What do I have to do?"
*
After she'd driven Dixon to meet with Devlin, she'd been told she could leave. She wasn't sure where to go. She didn't want to go home yet. Never making a conscious decision about it, she arrived at the pier. She got out of her car, walking to the place where she'd met with Vaughn some time before.
She'd been so busy taking care of the Dixon situation that she hadn't actually stopped to think about what had happened just the previous night. It still didn't seem real. In her mind he was alive and just lost, trying to find his way home. She couldn't think of the possibility he might be dead. She wasn't ready to accept that yet.
She was startled out of her thoughts at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She looked at the screen and she nearly dropped her phone in the water. She hesitated shortly before answering the call. "Hello?"
"Sydney..." Arvin Sloane's voice rang out in her ear. His tone was strange.
"Hello," she greeted him.
"I hope I'm not disturbing you."
"No, it's fine," she assured him, "What can I do for you?"
"I thought I should call you and tell you... Emily passed away last night." She thought her heart stopped beating for a second or two. Now the tone of his voice made sense.
"I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" she asked sincerely.
"I don't think it's quite sunk in yet," he said and she felt tears.
"I understand," she said, her mind drifting to Vaughn again.
"I guess you would," he spoke up. For a second she thought he knew, but then she remembered. Danny... "I won't be in the office for the next few days."
"Of course..."
"Anyway, I won't bother you any longer. Goodnight, Sydney."
"Goodnight..." She heard the click and she hung up as well. She tried not to think about it, but it was hard. Danny, Noah, now Vaughn... Why did everyone she got close to have to leave her this way? "No... he's not dead..." she found herself whispering to herself. She started heading back to her car.
That's when she remembered what had happened with Will. She decided to go see him. She had things to discuss with him as well. She was still wrestling with whether or not to bring him into this life.
"He IS in this life now. Whether you like it or not." Vaughn's words rang through her head.
*
She stepped into the room and her face fell. It didn't look good. He'd been cleaned up, but even then she could see the pain. He was asleep, so she went to sit at his bedside. She looked at him, trying to think about what she'd tell him. Just then his eyes fluttered open.
"Hey," she smiled.
"Figured you'd be here when I woke up," he smiled back. His speech was a bit broken up, but with what they'd done to him, she wasn't surprised.
"Happy to oblige. How are you feeling?"
"Like someone played crazy dentist in my mouth..."
"Yeah, I've been there," she nodded. He gave her a look. "Don't ask," she shrugged.
"Okay..." he agreed.
"So... Not counting the physical damage... are you okay?"
"I'm still trying to make sense of everything. I'm just glad I remembered before it was too late..."
"Remembered what?"
"My story... I gave it to someone at work, in a sealed envelope. I told her if anything happened to me, she had to publish it. I called her to tell her not to. Apparently I called just in time. She wanted to know why I was talking the way I was, but..."
"Good..." she nodded. "Are you tired? I'll let you sleep if..."
"No, it's okay." He looked at her and smiled a bit. "Don't take this the wrong way but... you look like heck."
"Thanks," she laughed quietly. It disappeared when the thoughts came back again. "Will... We really need to talk about something."
"What?"
"About what we do... now that you know."
*
After her visit with Will, she finally went home. When she'd finally went the previous night, no one was there. It was good, because she wasn't sure she could have faced Francie yet. She would have figured out a lot just by looking at her. When she walked in, she saw Francie sitting in front of the television.
"Hey, you're back," she said as she stood up, "Feel like I haven't seen you in..." She stopped when she got a good look at her. "Woah... Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured her.
"No, you're not..." Francie shook her head. Sydney looked to the side. "Come on, talk to me." She led her to the couch so they could sit.
"I just... I just lost two people... from work..." she explained slowly, hating to have to lie to her when she really needed some friendly comfort.
"Lost as in..." Sydney looked down again. "Oh... Sydney, I'm sorry," she said, hugging her friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'll be okay. Right now, I just want a normal night with a friend..."
"Well, I'm here for you," Francie smiled.
"Thanks." Since it had all started, she had continuously thanked whoever had sent Francie her way. No matter how bad things got, she knew she could always count on her.