Things in my life never go as planned. I can't remember a single time where I said, 'Alright, this is what's going to happen,' and being right… In the third grade, when I got my new hamster, I said, 'this hamster and I are going to be the best friends in the world forever and ever.' Five days later he jumped to his death off my dresser. I was too sad to think of it then, but now that I do, that wasn't very encouraging. He'd rather kill himself than be my friend. That ex-hamster and Ephram probably have a few things in common.
That look on Ephram's face, that tone in his voice, it was, the most horrible thing I've ever experienced. He hated me so much… He looked like he wanted to tie me to a chair and pull out every individual hair on the whole of my head, one by one. I'm not going to bother asking what I did to deserve that look. I know very well what I did… I gave up my free will, my personality, my individuality… I became just another elitist snob who shunned him without knowing him. True, he did the same to me, but, he had cause. I never gave him a damn chance.
And now this catastrophe! 'You made Amy happy!' and run? What the Hell was I thinking? I was supposed to apologize to him for being a bitch, and thank him for making Amy happy. He probably already knows he did… But I need to tell him. He needs to hear that I'm grateful and that I'm sorry. But he scares me so much.
An apology probably wouldn't be enough though, huh? Not for the past five years. You don't apologize for five years of bitchiness with words. I need to do something. Something to show the entire school how sorry I am, how much I hate what I've become.
Okay, first order of business, ditch the bitch. I need to start being nice to people, smile, and wave, ask nerds for help on assignments, I need to bring myself to their level. Offer myself on the alter of Nerddom. Well, maybe not offer myself, that might have bad results. I need new friends too, or no friends, that'd be easier.
But how am I supposed to get out of the 'elite' group? That won't be hard. If I start being nice, Kayla will start bothering me about it, thinking I've gone nuts. I'll have to wait until she bugs me at lunch. Then, in a booming voice, I'll tell her to go screw herself. Maybe throw some food in her face, depending what we're having… Then, publicly, I'll apologize to Ephram, if he's there and if I can find him. Right there in the cafeteria, in front of everyone. Then of course I run for my life. At least running is in the plan this time…
Things in my life never go as planned. Yell at Kayla, apologize to Ephram, and run. Didn't happen. Currently? I'm sitting in a chair next to the principal's office, covered in mashed potatoes. You're curious, aren't you? Well this should add to it, Ephram's sitting next to me, covered in mashed potatoes as well.
This is how it went. I didn't even get a chance to be nice to everyone. At lunch Kayla just made some bitchy remark and I, snapped. Before I knew it, I stood up in my chair, yelled 'Shut up Kayla!' so loud I thought my throat tore in two. At this point I have everyone's attention. Then I took a handful of mashed potatoes and peas from my tray, and shoved them in Kayla's face, and threw some down the front of her shirt. You should have seen the look on her face. So then I turned to Ephram who sat conveniently two tables away, and shouted, 'Ephram you made Amy happy! Thank you! And I'm sorry for how I act-!' I didn't get to finish.
Kayla, her bearings back, punched me. Right in the eye. I flew to the floor. Then she jumped me and before I knew it, we were having a brawl. This girl defined the term 'cat fight.' And since it was high school, we soon found ourselves being pelted with mashed potato balls. When I got on top of her some guy pulled me off and held my arms, probably Bright, and Ephram pulled Kayla to her feet and held her. Of course Kayla, still in 'cat mode,' clawed him. She cut him with her false nails on the cheek. He looks like a cat got him.
So Kayla's in the principal's office, batting her eyelashes, and I'm out here smelling like Thanksgiving and holding a bag of ice to my blackening eye. Ephram's one cheek is potato free but he has this huge Band-Aid on it. His dad was called in, Kayla's parents were called in, and my parents were called but weren't about to come in.
Kayla emerges from the office, covered in potatoes herself, with a small piece of turkey in her hair I couldn't help but grin at. She gave me a dirty stare of course but I didn't return. It's hard to give a dirty stare when half of your face is numb from pain and ice. My name was bellowed from inside the office so I sighed and stood up. Briefly I turned to Ephram.
"I'm sorry," I told him and headed toward the office. That scratch was the result of my plan.
"Good luck," I heard him say just as I reached the door. I turned to him, surprised, but he was staring at the ground in front of him, like he hadn't said anything. I smiled slightly and walked in to meet my fate.
I heard the door close behind me, so I suppose I must have shut it. The principal sat behind his desk with his back straight in all of his divine judgment. He frowned at me, so meekly I sat down in the chair Kayla had obviously been sitting in. Once I sat he remained silent for a few moments and I didn't look at him.
"We've acted a little out of character today, haven't we?" he asked. I looked up at him and felt his glare five times as I had before.
"Not really…" I confessed and flinched as his eyes widened in surprise. He picked up a folder from his desk and looked at it. My folder, no doubt.
"Member of the prom committee, cheerleader, girl's volleyball team player, and first chair oboe…" he read off. To him it was a list of accomplishments, to me, a list of regrets. Except maybe the oboe thing… He set the folder back on the desk and looked at me.
"Fist fights in the cafeteria with one of her closest and dearest friends hardly sound like actions this girl would take…" he told me. 'Closest and dearest' what! Has this man ever met Kayla? I sighed and looked up at him.
"I hate Kayla, and I hate most of Kayla's friends. They turned me into a bitch and I wanted out! And you can't talk to these people! No! That only gets you in worse! So I did the only thing I could to escape that gang of theirs! You don't want me to be part of a gang, do you Sir?" I explained briefly. This surprised him. After his shock he cleared his throat.
"I suppose not… But, none the less, you have detention, after school, for two weeks… And don't let this happen again…" he told me and nodded. I stood up to leave.
"I swore on my own grave I'd never let myself become that again…" I told him and left the room.